Ch 158 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 158 -- Sui's Special Elixir (Degraded Version)


Once we got out of earshot of the others back in the clearing I stopped.

"Sui, can you make something for me please?"

“Whaaaat?-" Sui inquired.

"It's this..." I gulped, then took two items from my Item Box. One was a bottle of blood from the Earth Dragon, the other was the glass jar that held the half of the Earth Dragon's liver that I hadn't sold to the Guild. Elland-san had told me that Dragon's blood and Dragon's liver were a powerful panacea, able to prevent disease. Maybe, if Sui could combine them she could make a new sort of medicinal potion to treat serious diseases. Of course it wouldn't be Elixir, I didn't know how to make that and anyway I probably didn't have all the ingredients but a powerful recovery medicine might be possible.

"This is the blood and liver of the Earth Dragon." I explained to Sui-chan. "They seem to be medicines that treat various diseases and injuries. I want Sui to make a medicine with both of them to cure a serious sickness. Can you do it?"

Sui-chan jiggled for a bit, obviously thinking hard. "Well, I'm not sure if I can do it, but Sui will try-"

"Thank you, Sui. Don't worry if you can't manage it." I took a deep breath. "Well then, let's get started shall we?"

"Unh-"

I handed Sui the bottle containing about a litre of the Earth Dragon's blood. I then opened the glass jar and cut a piece of liver, about a quarter of what remained and handed that to Sui too. She slowly ingested them, making "Ummm" noises telepathically.

I sat down beside Sui, observing her carefully. Was it possible the Dragon blood and liver were too powerful for her to cope with? Could they hurt her, was this a bad idea? But she could handle magical materials like Mithril easily, surely... I clamped down on my imagination and waited as patiently as I could.

After about 5 minutes, Sui suddenly spoke. "I was able to do it-"

I grabbed an empty bottle from my Item Box and held it out to Sui.

“Well, can you put it in here?”

"Yes, I understand-" A translucent reddish-purple liquid gurgled into the bottle from the tip of Sui's tentacle.

"Yeah, that's fine, Sui. The bottle is just about full." I said as the liquid reached the neck of the bottle.

“Aruji, there’s about two more-” Sui said. Still more to come? I quickly got two more empty bottles from my Item Box and held them out one after the other as Sui filled them with the mysterious liquid. Finally I had three bottles of translucent reddish-purple liquid, corked and safe. Now to Appraise them.

[ Sui's Special Elixir (degraded version) ]
A lesser version of Elixir, unable to extend life. Effective cure for all diseases.

"Cough, cough, splutter!" I nearly dropped the bottle I had been Appraising. It really was Elixir?

"Aruji, are you alright-?" Sui-chan asked worriedly, tugging at my trouser leg.

“Cough cough…" I took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm okay.” I said, reaching down to pat her reassuringly.

…Elixir, Sui-chan really did it. She's truly amazing. Okay, it's a degraded version, not the true Elixir but my Appraisal said it's a cure for all diseases. 'A lesser version of Elixir, unable to extend life' -- did that mean that the true Elixir would extend someone's lifespan or even grant them immortality? Unbelievable.

I never thought Sui-chan could make Elixir with the Dragon blood and liver but even this lesser version should be able to cure any disease, and that's what I wanted to start with so it's a success. Now Darryl and Eris's mother will be fine. I just had to find some way to get it to her. I decided in addition that making an easy-to-digest dish for an invalid would be good, so I'd make some rice porridge with eggs.

"Sui, can you wait for a moment? I'm making something to eat for Darryl and Eris’s mother.”

"Yes, that's okay-"

Being well away from the clearing it was safe for me to open Net Super and buy eggs. I figured the small boost in status eating other-world food granted would help the kids' mother as well. There were seasonings to hand, some cooked rice too, yosh, that would be fine. I added water to the cooked rice in the pot and brought it to a boil on the Black Magic Cooking Stove. I added soup stock and soy sauce then I broke a couple of eggs into the pot and beat them into the mixture while turning down the heat. I tasted it and thinking it was a bit lacking I added more soy sauce and some salt. It was maybe a bit thicker than real rice porridge but I figured it would be OK so I left it like that.

The pot was an old one, not from the Net Super so I could just give it to Darryl as it was. He had said he had an Item Box and even if it didn't work like mine to keep things hot the rice porridge was a simple dish to re-heat. I shut off my Black Magic Cooking Stove, put everything away and we headed back to where everyone was waiting for us.

Ch 157 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 157 -- Darryl and Eris


The children stopped crying to watch, fascinated as I petted Fer's head. Put up with it, Fer, I told him telepathically as I smiled at them hoping they would calm down. Finally I tried asking them their names.

"Sniffle..." the boy wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I'm Darryl and this is my sister Eris." He had brown hair like his sister and intelligent-looking eyes, reddened from crying. His sister Eris clung to her brother's arm, silent and watchful.

“How old are you?” I went on.

"I'm 10 years old and Eris is 8 years old." Darryl replied. So I had guessed about right. But what were kids that young doing out here, all alone?

"Did you come here with a grown-up?" I asked. Darryl shook his head. "You two are out here by yourself?" He nodded, looking down at his sister. "Okay, so where are you from?" Was there a village in the forest near here...

"Doran." Darryl answered.

"Eh? Did you come from Doran?" He wasn't from somewhere nearby? That was a surprise. Travelling on foot from Doran to this clearing on foot would take 3 hours for an adult. Kids like these two would take a lot longer, I guessed. There was something going on I didn't understand.

“Why did you come so far into this forest from Doran? You had to have a reason to. Do you want to tell me why?" I asked.

Darryl turned and pointed to the dead Orcs at the side of the clearing. "If you give me one of those Orcs I'll tell you."

Uh what? but Darryl's face held a determined expression and his pointing finger never wavered. I sighed and finally nodded. "All right, you can have one of the Orcs. Now will you tell me what you're doing out here?"

 Darryl explained that he and Eris lived in the city of Doran with their mother. Their father was an Adventurer who didn't return from Doran's dungeon about the time Darryl was six years old. My heart sank a little on hearing him say this in such a matter-of-fact way. Their mother was a skillful seamstress and the three of them survived on her earnings. However, their mother collapsed about two weeks ago. They talked to the temple priest who used his recovery magic on her and she got a little bit better but after a while she got sicker again.

The temple priest had explained that he could only cure mild illnesses outright. If it was a more serious illness then the recovery magic of a high-ranking priest was needed. Those priests all lived in the capital and it cost a lot of money to bring such a priest to Doran and to make the offerings required for them to use their magical powers to cure someone. The two of them couldn't earn enough money working in the town to pay for their mother's treatment so they came out into the forest to collect medicinal herbs instead.

I had to turn my own face away to wipe my own nose as I listened to Darryl's tale. These kids, they're so sweet... I'm a sucker for sad stories like this.

"How did you two feed yourself, with your mother being ill?" I asked.

"We did odd jobs in the city and the money we got kept us all fed, just about." Darryl answered. Well, the sorts of jobs a ten-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl could do wouldn't pay much and their mother couldn't work at all so they must have been on the edge of starvation. My respect for the children went up another notch.

“Are you hungry?" I asked. "We're just going to have dinner so you're welcome to eat with with us."

"Dinner, it's about time." Fer interjected. "I came back because I was hungry."

“I'm hungry too.” Dora-chan added.

"Sui's hungry as well-"

Oh, right. You guys are always hungry, of course. Give me a minute and I'll make something quick. What would be good for Darryl and Eris though? Our usual Japanese-style meal with rice wasn't going to work for them, bread would be a better bet for people from this world. In that case, hmmm... teriyaki in a burger bun would do fine. I'd have to use what I had with me since I didn't want to use Net Super in front of the kids. I started by taking my Black Magic Cooking Stove out of my Item Box. The kids eyes widened as I pulled the stove seemingly out of nowhere.

"Item Box..." Darryl muttered. "I've got Item Box myself, but not that big..." Oh, Darryl has the Item Box skill? That should be useful for him to earn money once he grows up a bit more. “Eris doesn't. She can only carry what she's got in her hands." he went on. He shrugged. "That's okay though." Eris pouted and punched her brother in the side. Watching the two kids interact was really cute, it was obvious they really cared for each other.

Oh, I'll tell you in advance that I don't have an interest in children, not THAT way. Honestly. But they were still cute.

Anyway, time to get cooking. I started with some dungeon-drop Cockatrice meat, grilling it on both sides in a frying pan until it was crisp, mopping up the excess fat with a paper towel. I added shop-bought teriyaki sauce I had in my Item Box and flipped the meat over and over, letting the sauce soak in at a lower heat. While that was finishing cooking I sliced up black bread buns and filled them with chopped cabbage topped with mayonnaise. I added Cockatrice teriyaki meat and Hey Presto! teriyaki burgers.

I filled wooden cups with orange juice and handed them along with the burgers to Darryl and Eris.

"There you go." I said. The children looked at the unfamiliar burgers with some suspicion but when I said "If you don't eat them my hungry contracted monsters will." they took tentative bites before gobbling them down.

"Delicious!" was Darryl's verdict.

"It's really delicious, brother!" Eris said, finally breaking her silence. "This drink is also sweet and delicious."

Yeah yeah, eat up kids. I still had to cook for the Gluttonous Trio, and myself of course, I had to remember to cook enough for my own dinner too. The "three pieces of kaarage" incident still lingered in my memory. Never again, I swore. I made lots of teriyaki burgers, cooking on all four burners of the stove, to feed Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan as quickly as I could.

Darryl and Eris were surprised to see my contracted monsters eat so much, dish after dish, as quickly as I made it and put it down in front of them.

"Wow, everyone eats a lot." Darryl said, wide-eyed.

“Oh, we all eat a lot." I told him. "Are you still hungry, Darryl, Eris? I can make more for you if you want."

They both politely replied they were already full. Well, they were only kids and the black bread teriyaki burgers they had eaten were quite substantial so that was expected.

“How about another drink then?” Eris finished her orange juice and then shyly held out her cup to me. I filled it up again and then refilled Darryl's cup in turn. I left them drinking up happily as I turned back to the stove as Fer and Sui-chan demanded ""Seconds!"" again. Finally, everyone had eaten their fill (including me, of course).

Darryl and Eris handed their cups back before sitting up straight and facing me.

"Uncle, thank you."

"Thank you, uncle."

Ah, what's with that "uncle", did they really mean me...? It was nice to be thanked so properly by the children, but "uncle"? I was going to protest but they were kids, after all. In this world people who are 20 years old often already have one or two children. I'm only 27 years old but to them I'm an old man. Kuh, that's a real downer.

"Buahaha... so you really are an old guy, huh?" Fer said telepathically. Hey Fer, don't make fun of me. Remember you're over a thousand years old yourself, Grandpa. Great grandpa. G-g-g-g-g-great grandpa.

“Well, at least they didn't call you 'older brother'.” Dora-chan added. Are you inferring that I'm old too? It looks like I'll have to talk to you later, Dora-chan.

"Uncle? Aruji is Aruji-" Yeah, my only healing is Sui-chan.

“Uncle, are you an Adventurer?” Darryl asked.

“Oh, yes, more or less.” Getting called 'uncle' still hurt but I could stand it, I told myself firmly, despite Fer's silent sniggering.

"About the Orcs, how much money would I get for one Orc? Is it enough to get a priest from the capital?"

Ah, that's why you wanted one of the Orcs, to pay for a high-ranking priest to come from the capital and make your mother well again? I'm sorry, but whatever you think a single Orc isn't going to be nearly enough.

"One Orc... it's not going to be enough..."

"Then how much will it cost?" Darryl interrupted. "If I got all five Orcs, is that enough? I'll do anything if you'll give them to me." Darryl bowed his head to me, followed by Eris. That hurt me, seeing them so serious and desperate. Kids, I'd give you all five Orcs if it would help but I didn't think that even that many Orcs would earn you enough money to pay for a high-ranking priest to come all the way from the capital to treat your mother.

I really wanted to help them out but it would be hypocritical of me to help only them simply because we ran into each other here. Maybe it was Fate that I had encountered Darryl and Eris but, well, the Gods and Goddesses I had dealt with didn't seem the type to arrange such things. What could I do for them?

I could give them one of Sui's Deluxe High-grade Potions but would it work? It was effective on injuries, like other potions were but I'd never tried it on illnesses. How seriously ill was the children's mother? It sounded bad if the local temple's priest couldn't cure her completely. She'd need something like Elixir, probably...

Of course, I realised, I now had THAT.

“Darryl, Eris, I haven’t introduced my contracted monsters yet." I said. I was going to be busy for a while and the kids would need looking after as well as being distracted. I couldn't let them see what I was going to attempt to do.

"This big fluffy white thing is called Fer." I ignored Fer's outraged telepathic complaints. "And this is a Pixie Dragon, his name is Dora-chan and this Slime is Sui. I hope you can get along."

"Will they get mad if we touch them?" Darryl asked nervously, looking at Dora-chan and Fer.

“I won't get angry.” Dora-chan said, telepathically of course.

"Brats like that touching me, of course I'll not get mad." Fer said contemptuously, his head high.

"Fer can talk, as you see." I explained to Darryl and Eris. "If you want to ask something just say it to him." I turned to the Pixie Dragon which flew down and landed in front of the fascinated children. "You okay with that, Dora-chan?"

Darryl suddenly reached down and touched Dora-chan's head once then pulled his hand back abruptly. Dora-chan did nothing except blink and raise his head so Darryl reached down to stroke the Pixie Dragon again and again, across the top of his head, down his neck and between his wings.

Eris on the other hand approached Fer and pushed her hands into his thick (and thankfully just-washed) coat. When Fer didn't do anything she giggled and started running her fingers through his soft hair.

“Fer’s hair is fluffy and smells good.” she said. Fer gave me a Look but stood still, patiently allowing the little girl to play with him. Okay, things seemed to be working out fine here. I sent Fer and Dora-chan a telepathic message.

“Fer, Dora-chan. I have something to do with Sui. Take care of Darryl and Eris for now, keep them safe. I don't think it will take much time, I'll be back soon."

I turned to Sui-chan who was looking up at me. "Sui, I've got something I'd like you to do. Come with me will you?"

"Of course, Aruji-"

I left the kids in Fer and Dora-chan's care while Sui and I headed off into the forest.

Ch 156 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 156 -- Let's Wash Off That Dungeon Grime


After we left the Adventurers Guild I asked Fer to come with me to a quiet place outside the city.

"It's time I brushed and washed you again." I explained. We had spent weeks in the dungeon and I couldn't get a bath there myself but Fer's fur was truly filthy since I never had the time or the opportunity in the dungeon to groom him. It was time to make his coat gleam again, I had decided. I got the big dog brush out of my Item Box as Fer eyed me warily.

"Do you really have to?" he half-whined as I started to carefully brush his coat out.

“Well yes." I said as I worked my way down his back. "There were swamps and deserts in the dungeon, remember, so your coat's really dirty.”

"Nuuuu, I don't think I'm really that dirty..."

“No, no, your coat’s really really dirty. I can feel it, your hair is tangled and your paws and legs are totally encrusted with mud." I kept working at his coat with the brush, figuring that stopping to argue with him would just waste time. He kept muttering under his breath but put up with my efforts. I couldn't understand it really, didn't he like being clean and, well, handsome-looking? He wasn't Japanese, I suppose... Cleaning around Fer's lower legs and paws was a lot of work but finally I finished brushing the mud and dust and mats out of his long hair and it was time to wash him.

"Sui, I need to make hot water so can you fill my bath for me?" I would do it the same way I had done before, add a small Fireball to a bath tub of cold water to make the water warm enough to wash Fer's large body properly.

"I understand-" Sui-chan agreed as I reached into my Item Box to get out my bathtub (MY bathtub!)

“Nuu, hot water isn't needed." Fer interrupted. "I'm okay with cold water, just get it over with.”

"But won't it be too cold for you, washing with cold water? You could catch a chill." It wasn't particularly warm around Doran right now so was washing in cold water really a good idea?

"Moron." Fer said dismissively. "Just who do you think I am? Just getting soaked in cold water isn't going to hurt me. I've got Ninril-sama's blessing, remember? I won't get sick. Just hurry it up will you?"

"Eh, you gonna wash the big guy with cold water?" Dora-chan asked, buzzing around Fer's body inquisitively. Of course, I remembered, he hadn't yet joined our group the last time I had washed Fer. "Hot water feels a lot better, big guy but if you don't want it that way then we'll be able to get our own bath sooner." It seems that Dora-chan really liked bathing.

"Yeah, the quicker you finish washing me the better, so hurry it up." Fer agreed. "Get it over with, will ya?"

“Yeah yeah, I'll wash you quickly with cold water then.”

"Good." Fer closed his eyes, ready for the dreaded onslaught.

“Sui, can you spray Fer like you did last time?"

"Is it OK, Fer-ojichan-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Umu. Go ahead, Sui." Fer braced himself.

"I understand-" Sui sprayed water all over Fer's coat from her tentacle until he was thoroughly soaked. I rubbed lots of the vet-recommended high-quality pet shampoo (remembering not to mention it was particularly good for kittens and puppies within Fer's hearing range) into his coat, starting with the fur on his back.

"Hey, harder!" Fer insisted, his body shivering as I worked the shampoo deep into his coat with my fingers. Yeah yeah. I pushed deeper and harder, forcing the detergent down towards the roots of his long hair.

“Put more effort into it.” Fer admonished me, his body twitching and squirming under my hands. Was the shampoo making his skin itch? It wasn't supposed to, I thought to myself as I washed and washed and washed, working as hard as I could but Fer kept telling me to apply more and more force.

"Harder than that, you." Yeah yeah. I worked my way across his giant body thinking that if he really wanted a quick wash why was he ordering me to slow down to put more effort into the shampooing process? Could it be, I stifled a snigger, that he was actually enjoying the massage? Surely not, the Great And All-powerful Fenrir currently covered in sweet-smelling foamy bubbles was not the sort of creature that would enjoy being man-handled by a mere human, was he? I carefully kept my thoughts to myself as I followed his instructions to rub here with more effort and apply more pressure there and so on. Finally it was done, with the exception of his face and muzzle since I didn't want to get shampoo in his eyes.

“Okay, good. Sui, spray water over Fer again please."

"Yes-" Sui-chan's shower attachment tentacle rinsed the shampoo bubbles from Fer's coat. Just the last bit to do, but was I forgetting something important? Never mind, it'll come to me, I thought to myself.

"Fer, we'll wash your face now." I warned him.

"Nuuuu, do it quick." Fer scrunched up his eyes even more, dreading the faint spritz of water to come.

"Sui, can you put a weak spray of water on Fer's face? Like a bit of rain, nothing harder OK?" I didn't want Sui-chan to unleash a Water Cutter or anything like that by accident. It probably wouldn't hurt Fer but I didn't want to take the chance. What was I forgetting though?

"Yes, I understand-" Sui-chan's tentacle sprayed a gentle stream of water on Fer's face, washing the dirt and grime from his muzzle and around his eyes. I watched shining fur emerge from the muck-encrusted features of Fer's face, wondering how he could stand being so unclean for so long. Finally it was done.

“Okay, Sui, that's enough.” Sui-chan stopped.

"Fuuu-, finally finished?" I saw Fer's water-soaked body tense and I suddenly remembered that important thing. No!

“Fer! Wait a minute." I said urgently. "Don't shake yourself dry until we get well away from you. OK?" Fer froze then relaxed. Sui-chan and I backed quickly away from Fer with Dora-chan flying along with us, obviously puzzled at our reticence. When I judged we were well out of the blast radius I said "On you go!"

Fer shook his massive body, spraying water in all directions like the first time I washed him. This time though I was not in range, just. A few seconds later I felt the warm air of Fer's Wind magic as he completed the process of drying his coat. I didn't need to get out the very large pet towel I had bought originally to dry him.

“Right then, are we going to have a bath as well?” I asked, already reaching into my Item Box for the you-know-what (MY you-know what!)

"Yup." said Dora-chan excitedly.

"Yay-" Sui-chan chimed in.

As we started to get ready for our own bath, the now completely dry Fer was pacing back and forth, obviously agitated for some reason. "If you're all taking a bath then I'm going hunting." he finally said.

“Uh, that's fine but remember you've just got cleaned up so don’t get dirty again too quickly.”

"Nuuu, you don't have to tell me." No Fer, I do have to tell you. Never mind, I could always buy more shampoo from the Net Super. Thinking about shopping I made a request.

"If you're going hunting see if you can bring back some bird-type monsters, like Rock Bird or Cockatrice. We don't have much bird meat left." I felt a bit like an okaasan asking a surly teenager to go to the supermarket for ingredients for dinner but I figured he would agree. It had been a while since we had eaten bird meat after all.

"I got you." He was distracted now, his head swivelling from side to side as, I presume, he was searching the local area for suitable prey.

"Oh, and take this." I took out the middle-sized magic bag from my Item Box. It had a strap across its mouth like a shoulder bag so Fer could easily carry it while he was hunting.

"That magic bag thing?" Fer asked as I hung it around his neck.

"Yeah, it will come in handy. You can put your prey in it so you can bring a lot of monsters back in one go." Fer could usually only bring back one monster at a time in his mouth. The alternative to him using the bag to store them was for him to drag me to where he had piled up mountains of subjugated monsters and have me load them into my Item Box, and I really wanted to have my bath in peace.

"Umu, that's a good idea. I'll borrow it." Fer said before dashing off into the surrounding forest but not before I got him to set up his Barrier for us. Safety first after all.

* * * * *

"Fuuu, this feels good."

"Ahhh, really great!"

"Feeling good, aruji-"

After Fer disappeared into the forest I quickly organised filling the bath and warming up the water and then washed myself down. Now Dora-chan, Sui and me were taking it easy, immersed in the tub's hot soothing water. Dora-chan and Sui-chan were floating like rubber ducks, bobbing up and down while I stretched out in the tub (OUR tub). To celebrate our conquest of Doran's dungeon I had added a deluxe bubbly carbon dioxide bath salt from the Net Super, supposedly beneficial for tiredness. I felt warm and relaxed, my body losing its tenseness. It smelled good, too. Finally-

"I'm done, I think. Want to get out now?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Yeees-"

We all got out of the bath. After I dried myself off, changed into fresh clothes and cleaned up the tub I bought fruit milk for Dora-chan and Sui and coffee for me from the Net Super. Ahhhh!

Suddenly I heard children's voices off in the forest, coming closer. What the-?

"He- HELP!"

"Kyaaa-!"

A boy and a girl, around 10 years old, ran into the clearing, looking frantically behind them and not seeing us standing there.

“Run away, Eris. I'll distract them!" the boy shouted.

“I'm not leaving you!” the girl replied.

Why they were running for their lives became clear very quickly as five pursuing Orcs broke through the underbrush behind them into the clearing.

"Dora-chan, Sui!" I shouted, pointing at the Orcs.

"Yup, leave 'em to me." Dora-chan said, taking to the air.

"Sui will help-" Sui-chan's sniper tentacle swung onto target.

Thunk thunk, thunk. Dora-chan's small figure wreathed in Fire magic punched straight through the bodies of three of the Orcs while Splat! Splat! Sui-chan's Acid Bullets dealt with the remaining two pursuers.

"Hoi, are you two all right?" I went over to the two kids who were standing frozen, stunned at seeing the Orcs dealt with so easily. No reply so I tried again.

“Hey, the Orcs are dead, they can't harm you now." The boy and girl looked at me with fear-stricken expressions. "Where did you two come from?" I asked. We were some distance from the city. Why would young children be wandering through a dangerous forest like this? Was there an adult with them? The boy and the girl both started sobbing. I realised just how scary it would be to be that age and get chased by Orcs but it was over now, wasn't it? Why had they just started crying now?

"Uwaaah, waaaah waaah waaah!"

"Uh, uh, hey hey hey..." I was never very good at dealing with kids and my attempts to console them weren't doing much good when suddenly Fer reappeared from the surrounding forest.

"What's up with these brats?" Fer growled. This didn't help as the children's crying redoubled at the sight of yet another obviously dangerous monster.

"Oh, ah, this is..." I tried to explain to the distraught kids. "Look, it's okay, he's my contracted monster and he won't hurt you or anything." They weren't listening though. Fer spotted the five dead Orcs at the edge of the clearing. "Hey, what are those doing here?" he said loudly, causing the kids to start screaming. Oh great.

"Hey Fer, keep quiet will you?" I sent to Fer telepathically while I bent down in front of the two kids in yet another attempt to comfort them. As they focused on me, I reached over and petted Fer's head like a puppy. I saw their eyes widen in surprise and their sobbing stopped.

“You're safe now." I told them in a quiet and hopefully reassuring voice. I patted Fer's head again, ignoring his telepathic mutterings. I was pretty sure he wouldn't bite my hand off as he was promising. "Fer here is my contracted monster. He won't do anything to hurt you. Really."

Ch 155 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 155 -- The Demon Sword Caladbolg


“Weeeell," I continued, "I didn't put this particular item in the list I gave you earlier because it looked like the sort of thing that was going to be troublesome, you see and..." I stopped delaying the inevitable and reached into my Item Box. "Heave-ho..." I pulled out the Demon Sword Caladbolg.

“This was the drop from the dungeon boss Behemoth we defeated. It's called the Demon Sword Caladbolg, apparently..."

"Wha..." the handsome elf Elland-san sitting across from me broke into a loud coughing fit. "Cough, cough, cough." I waited politely until he had recovered and wiped his streaming eyes.

"De-, De-, Demon Sword?" He coughed again but his eye stayed fixed on the sword I held in my hand like I was holding a poisonous snake. I might have laughed at his over-reaction but it just confirmed to me this sword was going to be troublesome, or perhaps even dangerous. A moment or two later he had composed himself somewhat and continued.

"You see, cursed swords..." he said, his eyes still concentrating on the sword I held. "Given that Doran's dungeon has a high difficulty rating some people, including myself, thought there was a chance that there might be a cursed sword drop if it was defeated..."

As Elland-san went on to explain to me only four cursed swords were known to exist. The first, “Demon Sword Joyeuse” was said to have been brought back from a dungeon by a Hero chosen by a God 700 years ago. It was kept securely in the main Temple of the Holy Kingdom of Lubanov.

The second cursed sword, "Demon Sword Blutgang" was in the possession of the Geisler Empire. They took it from a dungeon in their territory about 400 years ago. It is said they sent 30,000 soldiers into the dungeon to acquire it.

The third cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Balisarda” owned by the Marbella Kingdom. The story is that about 300 years ago a party of S-rank Adventurers brought it back from some unknown dungeon and the Kingdom of Marbella bought it. The rumour is that it cost the Kingdom its entire annual budget to purchase it.

The fourth cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Arondight” which was in the possession of the Leonhart Kingdom. According to legend it was recovered from a dungeon in this country by Leonhart's first king (by the way, that wasn't the dungeon here in Doran, apparently).

I wondered who was the first king who had the ability to bring back a magic sword back from a dungeon. It sounded like quite a story which I wanted to hear when I had the time, I thought to myself, as Elland-san sat back and spread his hands. However I had my own problems to deal with first. This “Demon Sword Caladbolg” that I brought back from Doran's dungeon was going to be only the fifth cursed sword known to exist? "Troublesome" didn't begin to describe it, I decided.

"You said that all four of the magical swords I you told me about, they all belong to countries...?" Elland-san had been clear the cursed swords he had told me about were in the possession, not of Adventurers or Heroes, but various nations.

"That's right." he went on. "A cursed sword is a symbol of national power so any country that can get one will keep it in their possession.'' Oh. I looked down at the heavy sword in my hand. So what I'm holding right now is something any country, any ruler would desire, would pay any price to obtain. Oh dear.

“Oh, so would you be willing to buy it?” I asked desperately. If I sold it to the Guild then it wouldn't be my problem any more, right?

“Don’t be stupid." Elland-san blurted, his eyes wide in shock, then he shook his head. "Sorry, but we can't buy a Demon Sword. Its price, like I said, matches a country's national budget." Of course, you're totally right. Forget I even asked you, Elland-san.

"We can't buy it," he went on, "but perhaps you should think about trying to use it yourself? Any swordsman could only dream of wielding such a weapon." No, Elland-san, I'm not a swordsman. I looked down at the sword again. It was really too heavy for me to use comfortably as a weapon -- the Mithril shortsword Sui-chan had made for me was my limit, just about, and for some reason I didn't want some country or other to have the Demon Sword Caladbolg  as a symbol of their power and prestige. I'd let it sleep forever in my Item Box, I decided.

“Well no, Elland-san." I explained. "This sword is really too heavy for me to use properly.”

"Oh, is that so?" Elland-san mused. "Could I hold it for a moment?"

"Yeah, that's OK." I said, handing the sword over to him. Elland-san hefted it then pulled Caladbolg out of its scabbard.

“It's certainly a heavy sword but that doesn't necessarily mean you couldn't wield it." Elland-san stood up and swung Caladbolg experimentally. Of course he was a former S rank adventurer and swordsman so he made it look effortless. Me, on the other hand, I'd probably drop it on my foot or cut my own leg off if I tried.

“I think it's made of Adamantite.” I said off-handedly as he admired the dark blade.

"Cough, cough, cough!!!" Elland-san suffered his second coughing fit of the day. Remarkably he didn't drop Caladbolg as he did so. I attributed this to his expertise as a swordsman.

"A-, A-, A-, Adamantite, it's made of....?" he stuttered, staring at the blade again.

“That’s what the Appraisal said.” I confirmed. Was it so surprising that Caladbolg was made of Adamantite? Mithril was, if not common at least something people in this world were familiar with. I thought that Adamantite would also be rarer and more expensive than Mithril but was it THAT uncommon?

After Elland-san regained his composure (again) he explained. “Adamantite, they say, is a legendary metal that no-one can damage or deform..." He stared again at the sword in his hand, awe and wonder in his eyes. Ah, that's how it is in this world. That just confirmed my earlier decision to keep this sword in my Item Box forever.

“Well, it's no use to me so I'll just put it away in my Item Box for now." I said to Elland-san who handed the Demon Sword Caladbolg back to me (a trifle reluctantly, perhaps) but he nodded approvingly as I put it into its sheath and deposited it in my Item Box again, muttering "Maybe it's for the best." as I did so. Sleep well, Caladbolg-san. There might come a time when I could do something with it but for now I was in no hurry to ever take it out again.

I thought we were finished but Elland-san raised a finger as I got up to leave. “Oh, yes, there was something else I had to tell you. You have been promoted to rank A, Mukouda-san." I sat down again, rather abruptly. What? Surely I was C-ranked, it said so on my Guild card didn't it? Why had I been suddenly promoted?

"Eh, now I'm an A-rank?"

"Yes, you can't remain as a C-ranked Adventurer after conquering the dungeon here in Doran." Elland-san explained. Oh, so that's why. Elland-san confiscated my C-rank Guild card and handed me a shiny new gold card which confirmed my new A-rank to anyone who might see it. I accepted it with some reluctance knowing that the conquest of Doran's dungeon was not due to my own minimal efforts over the past couple of weeks. I had left all the real fighting in the dungeon to my contracted monsters, after all.

“So, how long will it take for you to decide which items to buy from me?” I asked Elland-san as I tucked my new Guild card away.

“I’m going to consult with the Deputy Guild Master and we should be able to let you know what we will be purchasing by the day after tomorrow." Elland-san shrugged. "I have to prepare to visit the Adventurers Guild headquarters, and the Royal Palace too, in the capital to report on what has happened as soon as possible, you see. It's really troublesome..." Elland-san muttered. "The senior officers in the Guild and the King as well want to hear all the details of the conquest of Doran's dungeon, the specific changes to the later levels and so on and I've been summoned to personally provide them with that information." He looked at me questioningly. "Of course, it would be a great help for me to have the Adventurer in question and his contracted monsters accompanying me on such a trip.”

I immediately shook my head. Nope nope nope. “No, I don't agree, Elland-san. Pardon me but I respectfully decline." Meeting with the higher-ups of the Adventurers Guild would be bad enough but I most definitely didn't want to go to the Royal palace. It wasn't just the stress involved in dealing with such important and high-ranking people, I was also worried that the secret of my Summoning from another world might leak out.

"Ah well, I understand." Elland-san nodded. "We were told that you prefer to keep to yourself, Mukouda-san and of course we have the order from the Royal palace instructing us not to try to compel you to do anything you don't want to."

Thank you, thank you, I was really glad the ruler of this country was someone who could be reasonable. Of course he didn't want to anger Fer and perhaps have his nation destroyed but someone less sensible and more demanding could have made things more difficult for me.

Elland-san didn't give up though. "Is there nothing I could say or do that might persuade you to change your mind?" he asked. "I don't want to travel to the capital by myself. If we were travelling together, Mukouda-san then that would mean Dora-chan would be with us and I'd really like that." Uh-oh, Elland-san's Dragon obsession was leaking out again as his eyes took on a faraway look.

"I wrote out a request for a long vacation, you know, I wanted to follow you and Dora-chan and the others into the dungeon..." He shook himself. "However the Deputy Guild Master tore up my vacation request form. Don't you think that's a terrible thing for him to do? He even threatened me with going on strike! ‘So, Guild Master, if you're not going to take your job seriously then don't expect me to cover for you' is what he said."

No, Elland-san, the terrible thing is you not doing your job. I think you have a hard time dealing with your boss, Deputy Guild Master. Still, Elland-san had been helpful and supportive, at least when he didn't have visions of Dragons dancing through his head so I decided to make him an offer he would appreciate.

“Well, we're going to be staying in Doran for another day or two since the purchase of drop items has to be finalised but then we'll be leaving." I said. "However, if we come across another Dragon then we'll bring it back to this city."

At my words Elland-san slammed his hands on the table and leaned over it, his face uncomfortable close to my own.

"Really? Is that a promise?" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

"Yes, that's a promise, Elland-san." I answered, wishing the handsome but mercurial Elf was more familiar with the concept of personal space. Making a promise like that was easy, really, since Elland-san had proven he could successfully dismantle a Dragon, a rare skill. The alternative to returning to Doran to have this exacting task carried out would be to leave any Dragon Fer subjugated in the future in my Item Box forever like the other permanent residents resting there.

"You promised!" Elland-san grasped my shoulders and I think he would have hugged me or worse if the table hadn't been in the way.

"Yes, yes, Elland-san, it's a promise." I agreed. I broke his grip with some difficulty and stood up as he sat back in his chair, a goofy expression on his face. "So, I'll come back to the Guild some time the day after tomorrow when the purchases have been decided. Until then..." I closed the door behind me quietly but Elland-san didn't notice, his mind clearly on other things. I made a mental note to myself, don't discuss Dragons with Elland-san again if I didn't want to spend a long time helplessly trapped in his presence.

Ch 154 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 154 -- A Much Put-upon Deputy Guild Master


After breakfast Dora-chan announced he wanted to eat pudding. "Yeah, yesterday's wobbly stuff. I want to eat it again." Dora-chan really liked pudding, it seemed.

"Sui also wants to eat cake-" Sui-chan added, pyonging around hopefully. They both liked sweet things. Well, it would be easy enough for me to indulge them but they'd just want more and more unless I laid down some rules. Eating too many sweets would be bad for their health, after all.

"Hmm, I will do it this time, but sweet things like pudding and cake are two per day, no more." I glanced around at Fer who was pretending not to listen but the drool around his jaws showed he was paying close attention. "This will apply to all three of you guys, Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan, OK?"

"Eh, just two-? Gimme a little more will ya?" Dora-chan pushed.

"Only two-?" Sui-chan asked plaintively. Both Dora-chan and Sui seem a little dissatisfied with the limit I was setting but I had to harden my heart.

"Two pieces a day is fine but no more." I insisted.

"All right, two pieces are fine." Dora-chan said after a second or two, giving in at least for the time being. I suspected this would be a battle I'd have fight again in the future but for the moment the victory was mine.

"Sui is good with two-" Sui-chan agreed, following Dora-chan's lead.

"I want to eat a wobbly thing right away." Dora-chan insisted.

"What does Sui want-?" Sui-chan paused, obviously thinking seriously about this important question. "Hmmm, Sui will have one as well, a cake but something different from yesterday's cake-".

"Give me that white one with the red fruits on top again." Fer added quickly, all pretence of disinterest gone in an instant. So all of them wanted a sweet after breakfast? That was fine, now that I had set the rules. I bought a custard pudding and strawberry shortcake at the Net Super's Sanke tenant shop and then after thinking a bit I got Sui-chan a a strawberry mousse cake.

"Here they are." I said after dishing them out.

"Ooooh, the wobbly stuff again, great!" Dora-chan's muzzle was caked with his long-awaited pudding as he messily gobbled it up.

"Umu." Fer ate his shortcake in a single bite, not bothering to savour its taste.

"Wow, this is something I've never eaten before. Oh, this is sweet and sour and delicious-!" The strawberry mousse cake seemed to be to Sui-chan's taste too.

Well, now that had everyone finished eating their after-breakfast dessert, how about we go to the Adventurers Guild?

* * * * *


When we arrived at the Adventurers Guild the staff hurried off to fetch Elland-san who arrived promptly to greet us before he led us up to his private Guild Master's office.

"So, can we buy your dungeon drop products now?" he asked, getting right down to business.

"Yes. But I should warn you there is a lot more than I thought..." I said.

"Oh really? First, tell me what sort of things you have to sell and I'll be able to determine what the Guild will be willing to buy from you." Elland-san had said earlier that the Guild wanted to buy all the skins that made up most of the drops we had collected but thinking about it the high-value drops like gems and magic items would be less likely to sell, at least straight away. I fumbled for the list I had made the day before and finally found it before reading it out aloud.

"Weeeell, let's see, there's Venom Tarantula poison sac x 3, Orc meat x 56, Orc testicle x 31, Orc skin x 125, Lizardman skin x 63, Ogre skin x 102, Ogre magic stone (small) × 21, Troll skin × 113 pieces ... ... (... omitted) ... ... and finally a magic detoxification necklace × 1"

I didn't include the ring of magic recovery in the list because I was already wearing it and not planning to sell it. There was also the little matter of the cursed sword Caladbolg. I wanted to think about that a bit more and maybe discuss it with Elland-san after the other drops had been dealt with. It was the sort of show-stopper that would derail our negotiations for selling the simpler items first. Even so, after I had finished reading out the very long list of drop items I had for sale Elland-san's mouth was hanging open. The combination of Elvish good looks and stunned expression on his face almost made me laugh out loud but I schooled myself.

After a few seconds he shook himself a little and his confident Guild Master face re-appeared. "Well, that's a tremendous amount, isn't it..." he muttered, deep in thought. Well, thinking back on what happened in the dungeon my three contracted monsters are strong and they gleefully slaughtered every monster they encountered so it's not surprising there were a lot of drops.

"I was in a party that cleared the first 29 levels of Doran's dungeon and we collected a considerable number of drops and magic items but, well..." Elland-san spread his hands. "What we brought back doesn't begin to approach your achievements, Mukouda-san."

"No no," I said, "Fer, Dora-chan and Sui did all the hard work. I just worked at collecting all the drops from the monsters they defeated." Okay, I fought a bit, well a little bit but it was all up to them, really.

"The majestic figure of Dora-chan..." That regrettably familiar expression came across Elland-san's face.  "I truly wanted to see him fight monsters in the dungeon. Alas, I was prevented from following you by the Guild's Deputy Master..." Tut tut, Elland-san. You would just have been in the way if you had followed us, never mind the extra work you would have imposed on Doran's Deputy Guild Master.

"Oh, that aside," Elland-san shook himself, returning to the business at hand. "About the purchases, I'm sorry but we can't buy everything, I hope you understand." Well the amount of items we were offering for sale was rather excessive, that was true. "But skin drops from the dungeon are always in high demand and we can buy most if not all of them. The Orc skins and Lizardman skins for sure and I would like to buy all of the Ogre skins too. I also want the Troll skins but... hmmm, I think I'll have to consult with the Deputy Guild Master to see if we can purchase them too." Ellan-san's face fell again. "The Deputy Guild Master was rather angry about me spending so much of the Guild's funds earlier."

Oh, was he really angry with you, Elland-san? Okay, I had received the money in question but it seemed it was because of Ellan-san's own desires in regard to the Earth Dragon's disassembly rather than a hard-headed business transaction.

"That's not a problem." I reassured the dismayed Guild Master. "Ah, I should add that we'll be keeping any of the meat that was on the list for our own consumption so you should disregard it for purchase, please." I had a sudden thought. "Ah, and another thing."

I pulled the small and middle-sized magic bags out of my Item Box.

"Hey, Fer." I held out the bags for him to examine. "Can your Appraisal skill tell if time passes inside these bags?" I had been wondering if time stopped inside these bags like it did in my Item Box. That time freeze feature was useful for all sorts of things like keeping cooked food hot and fresh but sometimes I wanted things to happen normally. Marinating ingredients like kaarage or other pickled foods, they took time to make properly, letting the meat steep in broth and sauce for hours. I could hurry things up by poking the meat with a fork before massaging it in sauce in a plastic bag but it was easier and better to make it and leave it to soak overnight, on the desk in my room at an inn when I slept for example.

I was hoping that if I made, say, pickled meat in miso and put it in the bag for storage then when I took it out later it would be the same as having it sit in a pot overnight. I could then transfer it to my Item Box, ready to use for cooking when I needed it even if I was travelling with Fer and company. Would Fer be able to judge that effect with his superior Appraisal skill?

"Well, let's see." Fer studied the bags for a moment. "Hummmm, it looks like time passes as usual for anything in these bags here from what I can tell."

 So for both bags time passed inside them as usual? I'd keep the middle-sized magic bag and offer the smaller one for sale then. As I put them away in my Item Box once again I noticed Elland-san was staring wide-eyed at Fer.

"What's wrong Elland-san?" I asked.

"Ah- Ah you see... that Fenrir, c- can it really use the Appraisal skill?" he stuttered.

Oh, so that was it. The Appraisal skill was a rare gift, usually only available to Heroes summoned from the other world like in the stories. I had got it myself by accident, sort of. Fer, on the other hand was no Hero (hah!) and hadn't been summoned like me.

"Ah, remember Fer's sort of a legendary monster." I explained.

"Sort of?" Fer grumbled telepathically. "What do you mean by 'sort of'?"

Would a true legendary monster agree to a life-long submission contract to someone like me just because he's a glutton? I thought very privately to myself.

"Oh, yes, that's true." Elland-san said finally. "A legendary monster like a Fenrir doesn't appear often so finding out he has the Appraisal skill was just a bit of a surprise to me, that's all."

Yeah, I had just about forgotten myself just how unusual my companions were, a Fenrir, a Pixie Dragon and a special Slime. To others they were powerful and dangerous monsters, to me they were bottomless appetites demanding to be fed immense quantities of delicious food three times a day (and snacks too now, I remembered). I pressed on with the business at hand though.

"In that case can you remove the middle-sized magic bag from the list of items for sale?" I asked.

Elland-san nodded. "The meat and the middle-sized magic bag. Are you sure you want to sell everything other than those items?"

"Yes, that's correct." I agreed. Now the purchases were out of the way it might now be time to discuss 'that'.

Ch 153 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 153 -- Minced Meat Dishes And After-Dinner Desserts


"Sorry to keep you waiting." I apologised straight away, knowing it wouldn't help but I'm Japanese so...

"Where were you?" Fer grumped.

"You're late again." Dora-chan chimed in.

"Sorry sorry. I'll make dinner straight away." The only apology those two would accept was food-shaped and came in a large bowl. Bowls. Right then, I had lots of Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull minced meat to hand thanks to the Mithril mincer Sui-chan had made for me so that was a start. What could I make that was quick and easy, well, how about filled omelettes? Melted cheese and aubergines would be good to go along with the minced meat too, I could alternate the two dishes. Yosh, let's get started. I opened up Net Super and started off buying onions, ketchup, cheese and meat sauce in cans before I switched over to the cookware section and bought some extra-large dinner plates.

I decided to make a simple omelette straight away and serve it quickly to my contracted monsters since they seemed a bit impatient. Chop some onions, fry in a frying pan with oil until they turn translucent, add the Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull minced meat and stir-fry them together after sprinkling some salt and pepper and adding some soy sauce and sugar, not too much. Once the meat was done I put it to one side to cool a little.

Now for the eggs. I melted butter in a hot frying pan, cracked in the eggs and coddled them around until they were starting to solidify then dumped in the minced meat on top. I got one of the large plates, used it to cover the frying pan then flipped it over and hey presto! One large, actually oversized minced meat omelette ready to eat.

"Yup, that looks good." I muttered, starting on the next two omelettes. I'd need three omelettes, topped with ketchup (of course!) and having the Black Magic Cooking Stove with its four really strong burners was a life-saver. I could only make two omelettes at a time though since stir-frying the meat used up one burner and cooking the eggs another. I had cooked a lot more meat into the omelettes than I would normally do for myself because, well I knew my contracted monsters really liked meat. I added the ketchup and put the oversized plates down for them and started on the next round of omelettes while they ate.

"Here, eat this while I make some more food." I said, turning back to the stove.

"Eggs and meat, huh? This is pretty tasty." Fer mumbled telepathically, his muzzle stuck deep into the omelette. Why did he have to mumble? I wondered as I worked on the next dish. Okay, his mouth is full but he's using telepathy...

"Ohhh, the eggs are runny and not overcooked." Dora-chan added.

"Eggs and meat, it's delicious-" Sui-chan said.

Everyone seemed to like the omelettes. For the next round I made minced meat with aubergines and topped with melted cheese. I started by peeling and halving the aubergines before frying Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull meat with a little salt and pepper. When the meat browned I added the aubergines and topped it all with meat sauce. I had to be careful, the sauce was quite strongly flavoured so I added it bit by bit and tasted it frequently as I stirred it into the mixture. When it was cooked I put the meat and aubergines into a large baking pan, sprinkled the top thickly with grated cheese and put it into the stove's oven. I judged it was ready when the baked cheese turned a light brown and then I took it out and served it onto three plates, just as the three gluttons finished their omelettes. I was getting better at this, I mused. Timing is important in cooking, of course.

"Here you are, be careful because it's hot." I warned them, a little too late in Dora-chan's case. Straight out of the oven the melted cheese was like napalm.

"Hot hot hot... huff huff, oh yeah, this is tasty..." He was blowing on the dish and then eating a mouthful, blowing and eating, in too much of a hurry to let it cool down a little but it was the sort of dish that tasted better when it was hot. There was a sudden gust of cold air from somewhere. What? I looked around and saw Fer using his Wind magic to cool his own serving of baked cheese over minced meat. That was one way to do it, I supposed.

"This will do nicely." Fer commented as he stuck his muzzle deep into the dish. "Ah, still hot... but it's delicious anyway."

Sui-chan only waited a few moments for her own serving to cool a little before ingesting her helping. It seemed she could deal with the hot food better than the other two which surprised me a little. Slimes were water creatures after all, weren't they?

"It's delicious because it's sticky hot." Sui-chan said. "So much meat, that's delicious too-" Sui-chan really likes cheese, of course.

Oh, I mustn't stop now, time to make more oversized omelettes for the next serving. After that I made more minced meat topped with grilled cheese, more omelettes and more minced meat then more omelettes then... finally everyone's dinner was over. Well, apart from my own dinner, a mouthful or two snatched between cooking """Seconds""" for the other three as usual. I had nearly finished eating when-

"Hey hey Aruji, is it time for Sui's reward yet-?" Sui-chan asked hopefully.

"Oh, wait a minute." I said, swallowing my final mouthful of minced meat and grilled aubergines.

"Nuuu, what's this about a reward?" Fer asked suspiciously.

"A reward, huh?" Dora-chan chimed in.

"Ah, well you see..." I started to explain but Fer and Dora-chan crowded me.

"So, this reward for Sui?" Fer pressed in.

"Yeah, what's it for?" Dora-chan was hovering right in front of my face.

"C'mon guys, you're too close." I said as I pushed them back. "Y'see, I had Sui-chan make a cooking item for me earlier and I figured she deserves a reward for doing it." As I explained I saw the expressions on Fer and Dora-chan's faces and swiftly changed gears. "Of course I'll give you two the same thing as well, OK?"

"So what kind of a reward is it?" Fer asked, his ears pricking up.

"Yeah, like the big guy said, whatizzit?" Dora-chan added, buzzing around my head even more furiously.

"It's cake." I answered.

"Cake, is that the white, fluffy sweet thing you offer to Ninril-sama?" Fer asked, licking his muzzle. Thinking about it, I'd given Fer cakes and baked sweets before and he'd enjoyed them, things like anpan and choco cornets.

"Yeah, you know I have a skill to get stuff from another world, right? I got a level up in that skill and it lets me order even more delicious cakes and sweet things than I could get before." I explained.

"Oh really?" Fer was definitely interested now.

"Sui-chan deserves something for making the cooking item for me and this is the perfect reward since she loves sweet things. Don't worry, there will be some for Fer and Dora-chan too of course."

"Hummm, I wasn't worried." Fer lied. Of course you weren't worried that something might escape your big stomach, Fer. Riiiight.

So, to business. I opened Net Super and selected the new Sanke store menu option. Let's see, which should I choose... well, it's a bit common perhaps but I couldn't resist the strawberry shortcake. Next, ohhh, they were holding a limited-time Matcha Fair, all sorts of cakes and sweets made with green tea flavourings. I was tempted but I knew Sui-chan didn't like bitter things so I moved on. The white chocolate cake, ohhh, and the blueberry tart too, yup that looked delicious and of course Sanke's signature dish, their world-famous custard pudding. I went back and added some matcha shortcake for myself as an afterthought since why should I do without? That would be sufficient, I decided and fed coins into the Net Super screen. A few seconds later a cardboard box appeared as usual.

I opened the box with some difficulty as all three of my contracted monsters were getting in the way to see what they were getting. Inside was another box with the cakes and pudding, carefully surrounded with cold-packs to keep them cold and fresh. I took out the cakes and put them on plates then unsealed the pudding which came in its own little tubs and put it out on a plate too. It got broken up a little but I figured that wouldn't affect the taste.

"Here you go." I said, putting the dishes down for the Impatient Trio.

"Umu." Fer eyed the dishes, obviously trying to decide which of the cakes to sample first.

"Oh, so this is cake? Lemme see what it tastes like..." Dora-chan had never eaten cake before, had he?

"Hooray-" Sui-chan had eaten cake before and was very happy, it seemed, to be given the chance to eat more.

After a few seconds of sampling the cakes and pudding...

"Umu, what's this really delicious thing that has red fruit on top of the white filling?" Fer mumbled. So Fer's favourite was the strawberry shortcake?

"W- w- what's this?! The wobbly stuff, it's sooo yummy. Gimme some more!" Oh, Dora-chan seems to really really like the pudding. I dished out more pudding for him but I expected he'd be satisfied with only one extra helping. Three servings of wobbly stuff would probably be too much for the Pixie Dragon. Probably.

"The cake I'm eating is sweet and delicious-! More, more, Sui wants to eat lots of it-!" Yeah, Sui-chan really likes sweet things. I put out one more serving of cake for her but that would be all, I decided. There would be other opportunities to indulge her sweet... uh, she didn't have teeth, her sweet... ummm, I gave up and turned my attention to my own dessert, a green tea shortcake from Sanke's limited-time Matcha Fair event. I needed coffee to go with this, black of course. I pondered just making it with instant coffee granules but black coffee? Nah. I opened up Net Super again and searched for... ah yes, here it is, drip-bag coffee. I selected an assortment pack and fed more coins into the Net Super interface to purchase it.

It's great there are such convenient things like drip-bag coffee now. When I want to drink black coffee it's so easy and quick to prepare, just follow the instructions on the side of the box and I couldn't go wrong. I positioned the drip-bag across the mouth of my cup using its little origami folding handles then I took hot water from my Item Box and slowly, sloooowly poured the water through the drip-bag, letting the dark coffee collect in the cup below. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee filled my nostrils with a comforting aroma. Wonderful. I took a first sip, oh yes, definitely more flavourful than instant coffee.

I bit into my matcha shortcake. It's an adult taste, bittersweet. I sipped more coffee, delicious, then another bite of the cake. Yosh, coffee goes so well with matcha sweets, doesn't it? I settled back to relax...

"Hey you, gimme more wobbly stuff!"

"Aruji-, Sui wants to eat more cake!"

Dora-chan and Sui, can't you be a little quieter, please? It seems Dora-chan had become addicted to pudding and Sui-chan's consumption of sweet things was making her somewhat hyperactive and demanding.

Speaking of sweet things and demanding behaviour reminded me of someone... Ah, Deplorable Goddess-sama. Oh dear. I wouldn't be able to keep the Sanke tenant store a secret and I was going to get pestered unmercifully by her when she found out. Ah, what a pain. The pleasures of matcha shortcake and drip-bag coffee turned to ashes in my mouth.

"Hey, you listening? Where's my wobbly stuff?"

"Sui wants to eat more cake-!"

...haaa.

Ch 152 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 152 -- A Lot Of Drop Items


"Hey hey, Aruji, what do you want Sui do do-?" Sui-chan pyonged excitedly as we reached the room, obviously eager to help out. Darling Sui-chan...

"Aaah, it's this thing..." I took the hand mincer from my Item Box. It rattled a bit as I pulled it out. It hadn't been like that when I bought it from the Net Super, I had just used it a lot to make minced meat to feed the Gluttonous Trio over the past couple of months and it was pretty much worn out.

"I want you to make this please." I said, handing the mincer to Sui-chan.

"Hmm, wait a minute-?" Sui-chan absorbed the mincer into her body to examine it.

"Can you make one like it but a bit bigger, Sui-chan?" I gestured with my hands, suggesting something about 1.5 times the original mincer's size and capacity.

"Well, this is big-." Sui-chan said after a while. "It's complicated, bits inside go spinny and whizzy and choppy... but Sui will try her best." Ah, making the various parts inside the mincer would cause her problems, they'd have to fit properly and work afterwards, turning and cutting the meat. The Mithril knife and short sword she had made for me were simpler items, just single pieces of metal.

"Ah, I see. Well, do your best please." I passed Sui-chan some Mithril ore which she ingested. A new mincer was my number-one priority when it came to making cooking utensils. If it was made of Mithril it would surely be very strong and not wear out and the spinny and whizzy and choppy bits inside would be very sharp so it should be easier to use. My arm got tired turning the handle of the original Net Super mincer, I hoped a Mithril mincer would be less work.

A Mithril cooking knife is TOO sharp, if my hand slipped I'd lose fingers and the blade would cut through any sort of chopping board I could get hold of so I had given up on that idea, but the mincer's sharp parts would be inside its Mithril-metal body so that shouldn't cause a problem.

My next project for Sui-chan would be a Mithril frying pan, one bigger than the largest frying pan the Net Super sells. It's not really essential but it would be nice to have a bigger one to use sometimes. I thought about a real commercial kitchen-sized stock pot, bigger than the half-sized ones I had bought from the Net Super but such a pot on the Black Magic Cooking Stove's burners would be quite tall and it would be difficult to stir its contents since the lip would be so high. The half-sized stock pots were just the right size for my needs, it turned out and I had plenty of them anyway.

After that, hmm, I'd have to give it some thought but there was no hurry. I'd just be happy if Sui-chan could make things for me. She's sooo cute... and as a reward I'd get her lots of cakes from the Sanke tenant shop, I decided.

I left Sui-chan working away while I started sorting through all the drop items from our dungeon explorations. Boy, there were a lot of them... I began by going through all the skins I had collected, starting with the most common ones. Let's see, Orc skins - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ......... 123, 124, 125 skins. 125 Orc skins in total, that's a lot. Next would be Lizardman skins? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ...... 61, 62, 63 skins, is that all of them? So 63 Lizardman skins, half the number of Orc skins. Ogre skins, there were a lot of them too, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, .......... 100, 101, 102 pieces. Oh, more than a hundred Ogre skins, that's a lot too. Trolls next, I remembered there had been a lot of Trolls in the Giant Zone between the 21st and 25th levels and they usually dropped a skin so 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ......... 111, 112, 113 skins? More than a hundred skins again. I had lost track of the drops I had been collecting while we had been travelling through the dungeon's levels so the actual numbers were a surprise now I could sort through the piles of different skins and count them properly. I continued counting and organising drop items as the morning wore on then --

"Aru-ji, I'm hungry-" Sui-chan interrupted.

"Oh, sorry sorry. It's lunch time, of course. Let's go eat with Fer and Dora-chan." I said.

"Ah, Sui's not finished yet-"

"Oh, that's not a problem." I had expected making the mincer would take Sui-chan quite some time, what with all the spinny and whizzy and choppy bits inside. "It's okay to stop for a bit to eat lunch."

"Okay-? Well then, I'll make it more after I eat food-." Sui-chan pyonged off the bed and followed me down to the beast stables where Dora-chan and Fer were waiting patiently for me. Not.

"You're late." Fer complained.

"Really late." Dora-chan added. Both Fer and Dora-chan seemed a bit grumpy.

"Sorry sorry." I apologised. "Please forgive me and I'll make something special for you."

"Ooooh, the Earth Dragon dish in yesterday's dinner was good."

"Really good! It was so delicious!"

Last night's dinner ended with grilled strips of Earth Dragon meat in yakiniku sauce over rice. Everyone liked it and it was definitely delicious, I felt my mouth watering at the memory of how it smelled when I was cooking it, how it tasted...

"So then how would everyone like some Earth Dragon meat in yakiniku sauce?" I suggested.

* * * * *

Several bowls of Earth Dragon grilled in long-time best-seller yakiniku sauce over rice, a much better-natured Fer and Dora-chan were taking a nap. Sui-chan and I went back up to the room to start work again, me to continue sorting through the drop items and Sui-chan to continue working on the mincer she was (hopefully) making for me. It had been a revelation to discover she could temporarily pause her Smithing skill and eat food then continue afterwards without problems.

"You know, I had no idea there was this much..." The sheer quantity of our haul amazed me, I kept finding things I had forgotten about as I pulled one drop item after another out of my Item Box. It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, thirty dungeon levels full of defeated monsters... I pushed forward, determined to get it all done today.

"Hmm, I've finished..." I had finally reached the end and I could sit back. I looked over the list of drop items we had accumulated from our successful conquest of the Doran dungeon. It was... impressive.

Venom Tarantula Poison Sac × 3
Orc meat x 56
Orc's Testicle × 31
Orc skin × 125
Lizardman skin × 63
Ogre skin × 102
Ogre's Magic Stone (small) x 21
Troll skin × 113
Troll's Poison Talon × 48
Troll's Magic Stone (small) x 23
Minotaur meat × 42
Minotaur's Horn × 49
Minotaur skin × 88
Minotaur's Iron Axe × 15
Minotaur's Magic Stone (small) x 20
Orc King's Testicle × 1
Red Ogre's Magic Stone (medium) x 1
Spriggan's Magic Stone (large) × 5
Giant Killer Mantis Wolf x 38
Giant Killer Mantis Magic Stone (small) x 7
Murder Grizzly Fur × 21
Murder Grizzly's Magic Stone (large) × 3
Cockatrice meat × 10
Cockatrice Feather × 7
Rock Bird meat × 6
Rock Bird Beak × 10
Rock Bird Feather × 13
Paralysis Powder of Paralyse Butterfly × 42
Giant Dodo meat x 3
Giant Dodo Wings × 9
Giant Centipede's outer shell x 3
Giant Centipede's Magic Stone (large) × 2
Wild Ape Fur × 61
Killer Hornet's Poison Stinger x 286
Killer Hornet's Royal Jelly × 1
Vasuki's Fang × 1
Vasuki skin × 1
Vasuki's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Manticore skin × 1
Manticore's Poison Stinger × 1
Manticore's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Gustave's skin × 1
Gustave's Fang × 1
Gustave's Spine × 1
Gustave's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Giant Sand Scorpion's Poison Stinger × 6
Giant Sand Scorpion's Magic Stone × 3
Sandworm teeth x 8
Sandworm Magic Stone (large) × 4
Death Sidewinder skin × 7
Death Sidewinder Poison Sac x 5
Death Sidewinder Magic Stone (large) × 3
Giant Sand Golem's Magic Stone (Oversized) x 1
Behemoth skin × 1
Behemoth's Magic Stone (Super Extra Large) x 1
Behemoth (dungeon boss) treasure chest x 1
Mimic Treasure Box (Small) x 1
Mimic Treasure Box (Large) × 2

Treasure chest drops, jewellry
  Ruby (small grain) × 1
Emerald (small) × 1
Aquamarine (Small) × 1
Garnet (small) × 1
Amethyst (small) × 2
Peridot (Small) × 1
Gold ingot x 1
Imperial Topaz (medium size) × 1
Sapphire (medium size) × 1
Alexandrite (medium size) × 1
Diamond (large grain) × 1
Diamond (medium size) × 2
Diamond (small grain) × 2
Yellow diamond (large grain) × 1
Diamond ring × 1
Tanzanite Necklace x 1

Magic items that were in treasure chests
Magic bag (small) × 1
Magic bag (medium) × 1
Magic Recovery Ring × 1
Detoxification necklace × 1
Cursed Demon sword Caladbolg
        (from Behemoth's treasure chest drop)

Laid out in black and white like that, I was really surprised just how much there was but, really, I shouldn't have been. Fer, Dora-chan, and Sui-chan were defeating dungeon monsters bam bam bam, boss rooms full of A-rank and B-rank opponents wiped out in a few seconds. All I needed to do, all I could really do to assist them was just collect the drops afterwards.

Elland-san had said he would take all the skins but the rest of it, I didn't know... and there were more jewels than I thought. I'd discuss this all with him later, but now I was done. Yosh.

Just then, "Aruji-, it's ready-" Sui-chan announced.

"Oh, you're finished too?" Good timing. Sui-chan extruded a gleaming mincer, a bit larger than the one I had bought from the Net Super. It looked really good and I decided to give it a trial run right away. First of all, Orc General meat... Oh wow, this mincer is amazing! I put the meat in and turned the handle but it was so light, it took nearly no effort as the minced meat poured from the mincer's opening and because it was bigger more minced meat came out for each turn of the handle. Next, Bloody Horn Bull meat, just the same, light and easy to operate and lots of minced beef coming out. I kept turning and turning the mincer's handle, delighting in how effortless and smooth it worked... I stopped suddenly, looking at the immense piles of minced meat I had produced while I was in a daze. Oh.

"Aruji, what's wrong-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I got lost there. This mincer Sui-chan has created, it's wonderful! Sui is amazing! Thank you so much." I said as I put the minced meat away in my Item Box along with the Mithril mincer.

"Wow, Aruji praised me-. Sui's so glad- " Sui-chan was happily pyonging around the room.

"Oh," I said, realising what time it was, "Fer and Dora-chan will start getting angry again if I'm late making dinner for them. Let's go, Sui-chan."

"Unh-" Sui-said as we headed for the stairs.

"Oh, and Sui, I'm looking forward to giving you something good to thank you for making the mincer after you eat your dinner."

"Something good-? What is it, aruji-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Just wait until we've finished eating dinner, OK?" I said.

"Okay-" Sui-chan agreed happily.