Ch 160 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 160 -- Elland-san, Taken In Hand


We went to the Adventurers Guild the following day so I could request the dismantling of the five Orcs Dora-chan and Sui-chan had subjugated as well as the assorted bird monsters Fer had hunted after his bath. When we appeared at the reception desk, the staff member on duty hurried off to summon Elland-san who soon arrived.

"Mukouda-san, we are still considering what we will purchase from you." he said, before I could explain why we were here. He looked rather harried. "We should have it all sorted out by tomorrow, I promise."

"Ah, that's not why I'm here, Elland-san." I quickly interjected. "We subjugated some monsters yesterday and I came to the Guild to have them dismantled as soon as possible." Along with the five Orcs, Fer had hunted four Cockatrices, a Rock Bird and an oversized ostrich-type bird which my Appraisal skill informed me was something called a Giant Tarepo. Our stocks of bird-based monster meat were running very low, especially after our trip through the dungeon where bird-type meat had been a very rare drop so the sooner I got these monsters disassembled the better. I would, as always, keep the meat but sell off the other materials.

"Oh, is that so?" Elland-san brightened up. "Let me show you the way down to the warehouse then."

"No, no." I said. "It’s okay. I can queue up at the purchasing window today, no need to take you away from your duties." As I said that Elland-san glanced behind him with a worried expression on his fine Elvish features. Was Doran's Guild Master, a former S-rank Adventurer scared of something, here in the heart of the city, within the premises of the Guild itself?

"No, no need for you to wait, Mukouda-sama. Let's go." With that Elland-san led me down to the warehouse door, still casting nervous glances over his shoulder. Today's haul was Orc and Cockatrice and the like, nothing special, why did he not want me to wait at the purchase window and why did he insist on personally escorting me down to the warehouse when I knew the way perfectly well? I couldn't understand it...

In the warehouse there were several staff members carrying out dismantling duties, unlike the last time I had been here after Elland-san had taken on the task of single-handedly dismantling Fer's Earth Dragon. I assumed he had ordered everyone else to leave the warehouse while he dealt with that self-imposed task.

"So, so, what did you get? Let us see it please." Elland-san said, slapping his hand on the top of the workbench.

"Oh? Guild Master, what are you doing here today?" A staff member about 30 years old who looked to be in charge of the dismantling efforts in the warehouse today called out as he caught sight of the tall Elf.

"Hey, Marcel-kun. Sorry to interrupt you but I just brought Mukouda-san down to the warehouse." Elland-san said. Marcel-kun was the staff member in charge of dismantling, it appeared. He looked at me quizzically, perhaps bothered by the fact the Guild Master had personally escorted me here. I'm sure if I had been working away in my office back home and the owner of the company had turned up out of the blue with an unknown person at his side then I'd be unsure what was going on too.

"Mukouda-san here is the most talked about person in Doran right now, Marcel-kun. He's first Adventurer ever to conquer Doran's dungeon and defeat the final boss. You must have heard others in the Guild discussing his achievement, right?"

Marcel looked at the rather ordinary-looking person in front of him with some puzzlement in his eyes then he noticed Fer and Dora-chan behind me and he realised the rather ordinary-looking person, i.e. me, introduced to him by the Guild Master as the conqueror of Doran's famously high-difficulty dungeon had some help in that task. "Oh", he mouthed silently.

I sighed, it was the same sort of response I received when we exited the dungeon and reappeared near the entrance, the same kind of looks I had received from the crowd after Fer's announcement to them that we had conquered the dungeon. I should be used to it by now. Really.

"That’s why I escorted you here you, Mukouda-sama." Elland-san explained with a strained smile on his face. Uh, no? And what's with the '-sama', Elland-san? That's not the honorific you use normally when we're discussing things in your office. I'd rather we had just carried out our business at the regular purchase window upstairs. I should have insisted on it, I shouldn't have let him drag me down here...

"My intuition tells me Mukouda-san has something unusual for us to disassemble for him." Elland-san said to Marcel-kun. "I'm looking forward to finding out what it is." My heart sank. No, Elland-san, Fer did not subjugate another Dragon. My hasty promise to him yesterday that he'd get first dibs on disassembling any Dragons Fer hunted in the future had gone to his Dragon-obsessed head, it seemed.

Marcel-kun's ears pricked up at Elland-san's words. "Is that so?" he said, turning his attention back to me. Of course Marcel-kun was a craftsman who worked in Doran's Guild as a disassembler and naturally he would also be interested in uncommon monsters that he might be presented with in the course of his work.

"That’s right, so now, please put them all here as soon as possible." Elland-san said to me again, slapping the workbench loudly, thump thump thump!

"Really, Elland-san, is this truly part of your job?" I protested.

"It’s okay." he smiled. "If you have a Deputy Guild Master like I do, everything will run smoothly in my absence. I don't have to be in charge all the time." No, no, it’s not okay, Guild Master Elland-san. Don't bunk off work to play around in places like this. You'll only make the Deputy Guild Master angry again.

"Come on, come on, quick, quick." The workbench received more slaps. Okay then, I'll do it but don't blame me if you get into trouble. I took the assorted monsters out of the Item Box one after another and put them on the workbench.

"Let's see, I want all the meat returned but please buy the other items. Five Orcs, four Cockatrices, a Rock Bird and that large bird is a Giant Tarepo." Whatever that was. My Appraisal had just given me its name with no extra information about it. Fer's only addition to my knowledge of the creature was the important (to Fer) fact that it was good to eat.

"Giant Tarepo?!" Elland-san's eyes lit up. "You see, my intuition was right!" Eh, is this ostrich-type bird so unusual?

"A- amazing..." Marcel-kun stuttered. "Giant Tarepo, it's the first time I've ever seen one..." So it was a rare monster then.

"But where did you find a Giant Tarepo?" Elland-san asked, looking at Fer.

"Nuuu, that thing? I caught it in the grasslands at the tip of the forest on the south side of the city." Fer replied.

"Really?" Elland-san thought for a moment. "Yes, that area, hmmm... Four or five years ago there were reports that a Giant Tarepo had been seen in that vicinity. However it's not an easy monster to subjugate." According to Elland-san the Giant Tarepo cannot fly but it can run very fast, like the ostriches I knew from my own world.

"If a Giant Tarepo runs away from a subjugation party it's nearly impossible to catch it. Normally a number of Earth Magic users would make a solid enclosure somewhere and the others in the party would drive the Giant Tarepo into the trap." I see. That sounded complicated, and expensive too. It explained why Giant Tarepo were rarely offered for sale at the Guild.

"Fer, how did you manage to hunt this?" I asked. Had he used long-range magic of some kind?

"I must admit I did have to put in more effort than normal to catch up with it but the chase was good exercise," he said languidly. "I just needed to stretch my legs a bit, that's all." I sighed. Fer was really beyond understanding these days.

"Hey, is that really a Tarepo?" Unnoticed by me, the other members of the dismantling team were now crowding around the workbench. "I've never seen one before."

"Me too."

"Has anyone brought a Tarepo into the Guild in the last few years?"

"Oh, I don't think so. If a Tarepo had been brought in folks would have been talking about it forever."

Elland-san clapped his hands. "Right you lot, back to work." He said in a loud voice, pointing to the monsters on the workbench. "Let's get these other monsters dismantled, the Orcs and Cockatrices and the Rock Bird. After that you can all watch while Marcel-kun dismantles the Giant Tarepo, since you've never seen it done before and this is a chance for you to learn."

The team of dismantlers got back to work eagerly, quickly disassembling the Orcs and other monsters. I'm not good with gory stuff so I stared at the ceiling a lot and tried to ignore the noises from the various workbenches around the warehouse. Chop, crunch, hack, slash, chunk! What sort of recipes could I make with these monsters once I had their meat? Concentrate on that, don't listen, don't look...

"Good, everyone seems to have finished." Elland-san announced a remarkably short time later. This was the Doran Guild, of course and unlike the other Guild warehouses I had been in there was more than one dismantler working in here. It was still a surprise to me just how quickly such large monsters could be taken apart into their component pieces by experienced workers.

"Let's dismantle the Tarepo now." He waved his hand. "Marcel-kun, I leave it up to you."

"Yes, sir." Marcel-kun started to work on the Tarepo while the other dismantlers stood around watching closely.

Elland-san said, "This is where you should..." and "That part there, you cut it like this...", standing at Marcel-kun's shoulder and directing him through the dismantling process. It seemed the Elf had experience in dismantling a Giant Tarepo, not too surprising given his extended age. Me, I didn't think I'd ever have to do it myself so I looked away a lot of the time, giving the ceiling of the warehouse some more close examination.

"I'm very satisfied with your work." Elland-san said as Marcel-kun finished up with the ostrich-like bird. "Dealing with this rare kind of monster has been a worthwhile exercise and good training for you all." The dismantlers agreed unanimously.

"Right then, it's time to work out the payments due." Elland-san went on. "Mukouda-san is exempt from covering the costs of dismantling these monsters, so..."

"Guild Master! This is where you were hiding!" This outburst came from a rather overweight bald man who hurried into the warehouse as Elland-san was speaking. The Elf's features froze as the newcomer's voice rang through the room.

"U-, Ugor-kun, what are you doing here..." Elland-san stuttered. Was this Ugor-san the Deputy Guild Master? I had seen him before, I think, at the door of the Guild when Elland-san was dragging me off to cook Dragon steaks at his house over a week ago.

"The question is, what are YOU doing here?!" the man stumped towards Elland-san who looked around frantically as if trying to find an escape route but Ugor-san was between him and the only exit to the warehouse. "I only found out Mukouda-sama was down here because the Guild receptionist told me. This is a very busy time for us, there's lots of proper work for you to be getting on with upstairs you know."

What have you done to make him so angry, Elland-san? Ugor-san stopped and faced me.

"Ah, Mukouda-sama, permit me to introduce myself." He bowed politely. "I'm Doran's Deputy Guild Master, my name's Ugor. Thanks to your efforts the Guild has been exceptionally profitable over the past few weeks. Thank you very much." The fierce expression on his face had disappeared and he smiled at me. I replied with a "Thank you." in return.

The introductions and pleasantries out of the way, Ugor-san turned again to face the Guild Master who was sidling around the workbench, possibly hoping to make a dash for the warehouse door and freedom.

"Guild Master, thanks to Mukouda-sama here, we're making more money than any time in the past, in fact since the Guild started here in Doran! We're being inundated by purchase requests from other Guilds and assorted noble families, enquiries about premium goods and..." the fat man sighed. "Right now I'd settle for a cat helping me, I'm working so hard here. We've not even decided on the list of dungeon drop items we're going to purchase from Mukouda-sama, the Merchants Guild wants to get involved in the purchases and sales and we need to sort that out quickly before they rob us blind." He poked a finger at the browbeaten Elf. "It all needs to get done and right now so please don't think you can go home today any time soon."

"No, no, I'm not good at jobs like that..." Elland-san pleaded. "So it’s better to entrust that sort of thing to your good self, Ugor-kun."

"What are you saying?" Ugor-san exploded. "Are you telling me to do your job for you?" He strode back and forth, clearly furious, then stopped and pointed at a cringing Elland-san again. "We're incredibly busy right now and the Guild needs you to do your job diligently, Guild Master. But..." Ugor-san shook his finger. "If you really want me to take over your duties, then the first thing I'll do as acting Guild Master is to sell off THAT thing you always stare at when you come to the office every morning."

"No! No, you can't do that!!" Elland-san shouted. "Absolutely not! I convinced you and you agreed, if we make it into a sword it would attract lots of Adventurers to the Guild here. You can't stop me making the Dragon Sword, you can't!"

"Yes, I was convinced by what you said and I agreed that a Dragon Sword would indeed be a fine advertisement for the Guild." Ugor-san retorted. "But the Guild needs to make money to survive and prosper. If you don't work hard the the Guild will need to make money some other way and selling THAT thing off will do the job nicely in that case. Of course," Ugor-san examined his fingernails closely, "if you don't like that option then you should work hard to ensure the Guild makes money some other way, please." He looked up at the stricken Elf. "Work properly, I won't sell it. Don't work, I'll sell it. If you're clear about your options and the consequences then I suggest you return immediately to your office where your work awaits you."

Elland-san looked as if he was going to continue his protest but Ugor-san's hard eyes held no pity for the malingering Guild Master. After a few seconds he walked slowly past the Deputy Guild Master towards the warehouse's door, his feet dragging at every step. Ugor-kun watched him pass then turned back to the room.

"Ah, Marcel-kun, good work and continue with what you were doing. Oh, and while Mukouda-san is living in the city, he is exempt from dismantling costs." Saying that, Ugor-san turned and followed the defeated Guild Master from the warehouse, closing the door behind them.

So that was Ugor-san, the Deputy Guild Master? Incredible. I supposed that since he had to deal with Elland-san every day he had learned how to handle him. I wished him the best in the future while wondering if he could perhaps give me some tips on working with the mercurial Guild Master.

I gave some thought to 'THAT thing', the thing that Elland-san apparently spent his mornings staring at while not-working, was it the Earth Dragon's fang I had sold to the Guild? It sounded like it, Elland-san's precious Dragon Sword needed the fang as a magical ingredient after all. Perhaps his decision to purchase it "for the Guild" it wasn't as altrustic as he had made out after all. Misappropriation of company funds, well...

"We're ready to pay you for your materials." Marcel-san's voice broke into my thoughts. He and all of the other dismantling staff had got well out of the way as soon as Ugor-san had appeared, keeping busy and appearing not to notice the tongue-lashing he had delivered to the Guild Master. It seemed it was not an uncommon occurrence for such things to happen here given Elland-san's inability to learn his lesson.

I started to pack away the meat from the Orcs and other monsters while Marcel gave me an accounting of the payment for the materials the Guild were buying, a total of 85 gold coins. It was an unexpected sum given that we hadn't actually gone out to specifically hunt for monsters yesterday but I wasn't amazed by the amount any more. Marcel handed over a now-familiar sack of coins, I thanked him and his colleagues for their hard work, said goodbye and left the Guild. Everyone would be getting hungry so I'd prepare dinner once we got back to the inn.

Ch 159 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 159 -- A 10 Year Old's Firm Resolution


"Sorry to keep you waiting." I announced as Sui-chan and I re-entered the clearing.

"Oh, you're back-" Dora-chan was gliding in lazy circles above a recumbent Fer who raised his head to stare at me.

"Nuu, what took you so long?" Fer grumbled, quietly for once. It took me a few seconds to notice Darryl and Eris were both asleep, lying propped up on Fer's side. Well, they were just children and they had walked a long way in the forest before being chased for their lives by Orcs so it wasn't surprising they were tired. The fact they were using an S-ranked nation-destroying Fenrir as a comfy pillow was something else, of course...

Never mind. We were all done here. "Well then, ready to go back to Doran?"

"Umu." Fer said quietly, swivelling his head around to check on the sleeping children and making sure they weren't being disturbed. I slung Sui-chan's bag across my shoulder and opened the flap.

"Get inside, Sui."

"Yeah-" Sui-chan pyonged up and into his travelling bag. I looked at the two sleeping kids and sighed.

"It’s a shame to wake those two up but if we don't get going soon it'll be dark before we get back to Doran." I gently shook them by their shoulders. "Eris, Darryl, sorry to wake you up but we're going back to town now."

""Nnnn..."" The kids rubbed their eyes, obviously still tired.

"Darryl, Eris, I found some medicine that should cure your mother." I said. That brought them both completely awake in an instant.

"Uncle, is that true?" Darryl exclaimed.

"Will it really make mother well, Uncle?" Eris asked as both of them hugged me desperately. They both cared for their mother so much...

"You see, I thought I had some medicine that would cure your mother's disease but I had to search through my entire Item Box to find it. That's what took so long, sorry." The children's eyes lit up and big smiles crossed their faces.

"But I can't simply give it to you." I added. When I said that they both froze and Eris' face fell like she was about to cry as I raised a finger.

"Darryl, you have one Orc right now, don't you?" I said.

"... Oh, yeah I do." Darryl had caught on to what I was hinting at. I had given one of the Orcs Sui-chan and Dora-chan had subjugated to Darryl to hear his story so he now owned that Orc, not me.

"How about exchanging it?" I offered.

"The Orc, ah MY Orc in exchange for the medicine?" He made sure he understood what I meant before he offered payment. He would make a good Merchant if he decided on that career in the future, I reckoned.

"That's right. How about it?"

When I said that Darryl smiled widely and nodded. "Yeah, of course it’s okay".

"Right then, there’s the medicine." I handed him the bottle of Sui's Special Elixir (Degraded Version). "I'm sure this will cure your mother's illness. Get her to drink it as soon as you get home." I passed over the pot of egg rice porridge too. "This is a little extra free of charge. It's something that's easy to eat even for someone who's sick. You can eat it together with her."

"My, my mother will get better." Darryl whispered, tears floating in his eyes as his sister clung to him, staring at the bottle. They had had a hard time of it but now they had hope.

"Darryl, you said you had an Item Box? Put them in there where they'll be safe."

Darryl nodded and carefully put Sui's Special Elixir and the egg rice porridge in his Item Box.

"If the pot gets cold, warm it up before you eat it." I told him.

"If I put hot food in my Item Box, it doesn’t cool down that much so it should be okay." he said, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Afterwards he looked up at me.

"Uncle, thank you." he said firmly. I patted his dishevelled hair to hide my embarrassment.

"Oniichan, is our mother going to get better?" Eris looked between me and her brother, unsure and uneasy, not fully understanding what was going on.

"Oh, yes. I got medicine from Uncle here that will cure her."

"Really really? Yay! Yay! Mother's going to get better!" Eris jumped up and down happily. "Thank you, Uncle!"

I collected the five Orcs and put them away in my own Item Box. I'd get them disassembled at the Adventurers Guild tomorrow back in Doran and replenish our meat supply somewhat. Fer's haul from his hunt went into my Item Box too, several Cockatrices and a Rock Bird as well as some kind of large ostrich-like bird I had never seen before. Fer assured me it was good eating, whatever it was.

"Now let's all get back to Doran." I announced. "Hey Fer, can you carry Darryl and Eris as well as me on your back?"

"Fun-" Fer said dismissively. "Two children and yourself, is that all? What sort of weakling do you think I am?"

Yeah yeah, if you say so Fer. Let's get going shall we? I got on Fer's back then Eris climbed up in front of me while Darryl sat behind, obviously excited to be riding on the big white fluffy thing.

"Eris, make sure you hold onto Fer properly." I looked back over my shoulder. "Darryl, you hang on my waist so you don't fall." They both acknowledged my instructions.

"Fer, go slower than you usually do." I told him telepathically. His normal rate of progress when I was riding alone on his back would have dislodged the children in an instant.

"I got it." Fer ran back to the city of Doran but much slower than usual. Saying that it was still a lot faster than I could have managed on foot. At the city's gatehouse I showed my Adventurers Guild card to gain admittance while Darryl and Eris had resident cards which let them back inside the city's walls.

"Where is Darryl and Eris's home?" I asked as we passed through the gate.

"Not too far from here, near the wall." Darryl answered. Oh, near the wall? That was the place poor people lived, wasn't it?

"Do you want us to take you there?" I offered.

"No, it's okay because it's close." Darryl said.

"I see." I asked Fer to kneel down and the two children climbed off. We looked at each other for a moment, then before I could say anything Darryl spoke.

"Uncle, I'm not going to be an Adventurer like my father when I grow up. Instead I'm going to be a Merchant who can make a good living. Adventurers are poor a lot of the time and, well, my father-" he shrugged.

"When I'm 13 I can apply to the Merchants Guild to become an apprentice to a Merchant in this city. I have my Item Box skill so I think I can do well as a Merchant. I will definitely have my own store someday and I'll be able to make Eris and mother happy, I swear." He looked down for a moment, then he faced me again.

"I will surely repay this debt I owe you someday, Uncle. Can you wait until then?" I looked down at him from Fer's back, seeing the determination of a ten-year-old boy to take care of his mother and his sister. He had cried after being chased by Orcs but the eyes that looked back at me now were filled with nothing but sure resolution.

"Well... ah, no hurry, I can wait." I told him, unsure what to say. He had obviously seen through my attempt to trick him into exchanging the Orc for the medicine so he wouldn't feel indebted. Was he really only ten years old? Maybe I'm just not as cunning as I thought I was.

"Thank you very much, uncle." Darryl said, bowing his head to me.

"Thank you, uncle!" Eris chimed in.

Then the two of them held hands and went off in the direction of their home.

"Darryl, Eris, I'll do my best too." I murmured in the direction of the two small backs. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, sniffling for some reason.

"Snort... Uhh..."

Fer looked round at me. "Huh, what are you crying for?"

"Sniff.... whaddya mean? I'm not crying, I just got some grit in my eyes." Stupid Fer. I never cry, a man never cries, ever. Dora-chan came flying down and hovered in front of my face.

"Hey, you really are crying. Wow!"

"I'm not crying, I told you. I just got something in my eyes like I said." You're too noisy Dora-chan.

"So you cry when you get stuff in your eyes?" Dora-chan said, dodging left and right to try and see past my hands. He blinked, the nictating eyelids of his own reptilian eyes flickering back and forth. "Weird."

Yeah, well Dora-chan, you're not a human, you're a Dragon. You wouldn't understand how we feel sometimes. I looked back but the two small figures had disappeared around a corner. Darryl, you're the main pillar of your family now. I'm sure you'll do your best to look after Eris and your mother.

Feeling relaxed, I told Fer to take us back to our inn.

Ch 158 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 158 -- Sui's Special Elixir (Degraded Version)


Once we got out of earshot of the others back in the clearing I stopped.

"Sui, can you make something for me please?"

“Whaaaat?-" Sui inquired.

"It's this..." I gulped, then took two items from my Item Box. One was a bottle of blood from the Earth Dragon, the other was the glass jar that held the half of the Earth Dragon's liver that I hadn't sold to the Guild. Elland-san had told me that Dragon's blood and Dragon's liver were a powerful panacea, able to prevent disease. Maybe, if Sui could combine them she could make a new sort of medicinal potion to treat serious diseases. Of course it wouldn't be Elixir, I didn't know how to make that and anyway I probably didn't have all the ingredients but a powerful recovery medicine might be possible.

"This is the blood and liver of the Earth Dragon." I explained to Sui-chan. "They seem to be medicines that treat various diseases and injuries. I want Sui to make a medicine with both of them to cure a serious sickness. Can you do it?"

Sui-chan jiggled for a bit, obviously thinking hard. "Well, I'm not sure if I can do it, but Sui will try-"

"Thank you, Sui. Don't worry if you can't manage it." I took a deep breath. "Well then, let's get started shall we?"

"Unh-"

I handed Sui the bottle containing about a litre of the Earth Dragon's blood. I then opened the glass jar and cut a piece of liver, about a quarter of what remained and handed that to Sui too. She slowly ingested them, making "Ummm" noises telepathically.

I sat down beside Sui, observing her carefully. Was it possible the Dragon blood and liver were too powerful for her to cope with? Could they hurt her, was this a bad idea? But she could handle magical materials like Mithril easily, surely... I clamped down on my imagination and waited as patiently as I could.

After about 5 minutes, Sui suddenly spoke. "I was able to do it-"

I grabbed an empty bottle from my Item Box and held it out to Sui.

“Well, can you put it in here?”

"Yes, I understand-" A translucent reddish-purple liquid gurgled into the bottle from the tip of Sui's tentacle.

"Yeah, that's fine, Sui. The bottle is just about full." I said as the liquid reached the neck of the bottle.

“Aruji, there’s about two more-” Sui said. Still more to come? I quickly got two more empty bottles from my Item Box and held them out one after the other as Sui filled them with the mysterious liquid. Finally I had three bottles of translucent reddish-purple liquid, corked and safe. Now to Appraise them.

[ Sui's Special Elixir (degraded version) ]
A lesser version of Elixir, unable to extend life. Effective cure for all diseases.

"Cough, cough, splutter!" I nearly dropped the bottle I had been Appraising. It really was Elixir?

"Aruji, are you alright-?" Sui-chan asked worriedly, tugging at my trouser leg.

“Cough cough…" I took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm okay.” I said, reaching down to pat her reassuringly.

…Elixir, Sui-chan really did it. She's truly amazing. Okay, it's a degraded version, not the true Elixir but my Appraisal said it's a cure for all diseases. 'A lesser version of Elixir, unable to extend life' -- did that mean that the true Elixir would extend someone's lifespan or even grant them immortality? Unbelievable.

I never thought Sui-chan could make Elixir with the Dragon blood and liver but even this lesser version should be able to cure any disease, and that's what I wanted to start with so it's a success. Now Darryl and Eris's mother will be fine. I just had to find some way to get it to her. I decided in addition that making an easy-to-digest dish for an invalid would be good, so I'd make some rice porridge with eggs.

"Sui, can you wait for a moment? I'm making something to eat for Darryl and Eris’s mother.”

"Yes, that's okay-"

Being well away from the clearing it was safe for me to open Net Super and buy eggs. I figured the small boost in status eating other-world food granted would help the kids' mother as well. There were seasonings to hand, some cooked rice too, yosh, that would be fine. I added water to the cooked rice in the pot and brought it to a boil on the Black Magic Cooking Stove. I added soup stock and soy sauce then I broke a couple of eggs into the pot and beat them into the mixture while turning down the heat. I tasted it and thinking it was a bit lacking I added more soy sauce and some salt. It was maybe a bit thicker than real rice porridge but I figured it would be OK so I left it like that.

The pot was an old one, not from the Net Super so I could just give it to Darryl as it was. He had said he had an Item Box and even if it didn't work like mine to keep things hot the rice porridge was a simple dish to re-heat. I shut off my Black Magic Cooking Stove, put everything away and we headed back to where everyone was waiting for us.

Ch 157 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 157 -- Darryl and Eris


The children stopped crying to watch, fascinated as I petted Fer's head. Put up with it, Fer, I told him telepathically as I smiled at them hoping they would calm down. Finally I tried asking them their names.

"Sniffle..." the boy wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I'm Darryl and this is my sister Eris." He had brown hair like his sister and intelligent-looking eyes, reddened from crying. His sister Eris clung to her brother's arm, silent and watchful.

“How old are you?” I went on.

"I'm 10 years old and Eris is 8 years old." Darryl replied. So I had guessed about right. But what were kids that young doing out here, all alone?

"Did you come here with a grown-up?" I asked. Darryl shook his head. "You two are out here by yourself?" He nodded, looking down at his sister. "Okay, so where are you from?" Was there a village in the forest near here...

"Doran." Darryl answered.

"Eh? Did you come from Doran?" He wasn't from somewhere nearby? That was a surprise. Travelling on foot from Doran to this clearing on foot would take 3 hours for an adult. Kids like these two would take a lot longer, I guessed. There was something going on I didn't understand.

“Why did you come so far into this forest from Doran? You had to have a reason to. Do you want to tell me why?" I asked.

Darryl turned and pointed to the dead Orcs at the side of the clearing. "If you give me one of those Orcs I'll tell you."

Uh what? but Darryl's face held a determined expression and his pointing finger never wavered. I sighed and finally nodded. "All right, you can have one of the Orcs. Now will you tell me what you're doing out here?"

 Darryl explained that he and Eris lived in the city of Doran with their mother. Their father was an Adventurer who didn't return from Doran's dungeon about the time Darryl was six years old. My heart sank a little on hearing him say this in such a matter-of-fact way. Their mother was a skillful seamstress and the three of them survived on her earnings. However, their mother collapsed about two weeks ago. They talked to the temple priest who used his recovery magic on her and she got a little bit better but after a while she got sicker again.

The temple priest had explained that he could only cure mild illnesses outright. If it was a more serious illness then the recovery magic of a high-ranking priest was needed. Those priests all lived in the capital and it cost a lot of money to bring such a priest to Doran and to make the offerings required for them to use their magical powers to cure someone. The two of them couldn't earn enough money working in the town to pay for their mother's treatment so they came out into the forest to collect medicinal herbs instead.

I had to turn my own face away to wipe my own nose as I listened to Darryl's tale. These kids, they're so sweet... I'm a sucker for sad stories like this.

"How did you two feed yourself, with your mother being ill?" I asked.

"We did odd jobs in the city and the money we got kept us all fed, just about." Darryl answered. Well, the sorts of jobs a ten-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl could do wouldn't pay much and their mother couldn't work at all so they must have been on the edge of starvation. My respect for the children went up another notch.

“Are you hungry?" I asked. "We're just going to have dinner so you're welcome to eat with with us."

"Dinner, it's about time." Fer interjected. "I came back because I was hungry."

“I'm hungry too.” Dora-chan added.

"Sui's hungry as well-"

Oh, right. You guys are always hungry, of course. Give me a minute and I'll make something quick. What would be good for Darryl and Eris though? Our usual Japanese-style meal with rice wasn't going to work for them, bread would be a better bet for people from this world. In that case, hmmm... teriyaki in a burger bun would do fine. I'd have to use what I had with me since I didn't want to use Net Super in front of the kids. I started by taking my Black Magic Cooking Stove out of my Item Box. The kids eyes widened as I pulled the stove seemingly out of nowhere.

"Item Box..." Darryl muttered. "I've got Item Box myself, but not that big..." Oh, Darryl has the Item Box skill? That should be useful for him to earn money once he grows up a bit more. “Eris doesn't. She can only carry what she's got in her hands." he went on. He shrugged. "That's okay though." Eris pouted and punched her brother in the side. Watching the two kids interact was really cute, it was obvious they really cared for each other.

Oh, I'll tell you in advance that I don't have an interest in children, not THAT way. Honestly. But they were still cute.

Anyway, time to get cooking. I started with some dungeon-drop Cockatrice meat, grilling it on both sides in a frying pan until it was crisp, mopping up the excess fat with a paper towel. I added shop-bought teriyaki sauce I had in my Item Box and flipped the meat over and over, letting the sauce soak in at a lower heat. While that was finishing cooking I sliced up black bread buns and filled them with chopped cabbage topped with mayonnaise. I added Cockatrice teriyaki meat and Hey Presto! teriyaki burgers.

I filled wooden cups with orange juice and handed them along with the burgers to Darryl and Eris.

"There you go." I said. The children looked at the unfamiliar burgers with some suspicion but when I said "If you don't eat them my hungry contracted monsters will." they took tentative bites before gobbling them down.

"Delicious!" was Darryl's verdict.

"It's really delicious, brother!" Eris said, finally breaking her silence. "This drink is also sweet and delicious."

Yeah yeah, eat up kids. I still had to cook for the Gluttonous Trio, and myself of course, I had to remember to cook enough for my own dinner too. The "three pieces of kaarage" incident still lingered in my memory. Never again, I swore. I made lots of teriyaki burgers, cooking on all four burners of the stove, to feed Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan as quickly as I could.

Darryl and Eris were surprised to see my contracted monsters eat so much, dish after dish, as quickly as I made it and put it down in front of them.

"Wow, everyone eats a lot." Darryl said, wide-eyed.

“Oh, we all eat a lot." I told him. "Are you still hungry, Darryl, Eris? I can make more for you if you want."

They both politely replied they were already full. Well, they were only kids and the black bread teriyaki burgers they had eaten were quite substantial so that was expected.

“How about another drink then?” Eris finished her orange juice and then shyly held out her cup to me. I filled it up again and then refilled Darryl's cup in turn. I left them drinking up happily as I turned back to the stove as Fer and Sui-chan demanded ""Seconds!"" again. Finally, everyone had eaten their fill (including me, of course).

Darryl and Eris handed their cups back before sitting up straight and facing me.

"Uncle, thank you."

"Thank you, uncle."

Ah, what's with that "uncle", did they really mean me...? It was nice to be thanked so properly by the children, but "uncle"? I was going to protest but they were kids, after all. In this world people who are 20 years old often already have one or two children. I'm only 27 years old but to them I'm an old man. Kuh, that's a real downer.

"Buahaha... so you really are an old guy, huh?" Fer said telepathically. Hey Fer, don't make fun of me. Remember you're over a thousand years old yourself, Grandpa. Great grandpa. G-g-g-g-g-great grandpa.

“Well, at least they didn't call you 'older brother'.” Dora-chan added. Are you inferring that I'm old too? It looks like I'll have to talk to you later, Dora-chan.

"Uncle? Aruji is Aruji-" Yeah, my only healing is Sui-chan.

“Uncle, are you an Adventurer?” Darryl asked.

“Oh, yes, more or less.” Getting called 'uncle' still hurt but I could stand it, I told myself firmly, despite Fer's silent sniggering.

"About the Orcs, how much money would I get for one Orc? Is it enough to get a priest from the capital?"

Ah, that's why you wanted one of the Orcs, to pay for a high-ranking priest to come from the capital and make your mother well again? I'm sorry, but whatever you think a single Orc isn't going to be nearly enough.

"One Orc... it's not going to be enough..."

"Then how much will it cost?" Darryl interrupted. "If I got all five Orcs, is that enough? I'll do anything if you'll give them to me." Darryl bowed his head to me, followed by Eris. That hurt me, seeing them so serious and desperate. Kids, I'd give you all five Orcs if it would help but I didn't think that even that many Orcs would earn you enough money to pay for a high-ranking priest to come all the way from the capital to treat your mother.

I really wanted to help them out but it would be hypocritical of me to help only them simply because we ran into each other here. Maybe it was Fate that I had encountered Darryl and Eris but, well, the Gods and Goddesses I had dealt with didn't seem the type to arrange such things. What could I do for them?

I could give them one of Sui's Deluxe High-grade Potions but would it work? It was effective on injuries, like other potions were but I'd never tried it on illnesses. How seriously ill was the children's mother? It sounded bad if the local temple's priest couldn't cure her completely. She'd need something like Elixir, probably...

Of course, I realised, I now had THAT.

“Darryl, Eris, I haven’t introduced my contracted monsters yet." I said. I was going to be busy for a while and the kids would need looking after as well as being distracted. I couldn't let them see what I was going to attempt to do.

"This big fluffy white thing is called Fer." I ignored Fer's outraged telepathic complaints. "And this is a Pixie Dragon, his name is Dora-chan and this Slime is Sui. I hope you can get along."

"Will they get mad if we touch them?" Darryl asked nervously, looking at Dora-chan and Fer.

“I won't get angry.” Dora-chan said, telepathically of course.

"Brats like that touching me, of course I'll not get mad." Fer said contemptuously, his head high.

"Fer can talk, as you see." I explained to Darryl and Eris. "If you want to ask something just say it to him." I turned to the Pixie Dragon which flew down and landed in front of the fascinated children. "You okay with that, Dora-chan?"

Darryl suddenly reached down and touched Dora-chan's head once then pulled his hand back abruptly. Dora-chan did nothing except blink and raise his head so Darryl reached down to stroke the Pixie Dragon again and again, across the top of his head, down his neck and between his wings.

Eris on the other hand approached Fer and pushed her hands into his thick (and thankfully just-washed) coat. When Fer didn't do anything she giggled and started running her fingers through his soft hair.

“Fer’s hair is fluffy and smells good.” she said. Fer gave me a Look but stood still, patiently allowing the little girl to play with him. Okay, things seemed to be working out fine here. I sent Fer and Dora-chan a telepathic message.

“Fer, Dora-chan. I have something to do with Sui. Take care of Darryl and Eris for now, keep them safe. I don't think it will take much time, I'll be back soon."

I turned to Sui-chan who was looking up at me. "Sui, I've got something I'd like you to do. Come with me will you?"

"Of course, Aruji-"

I left the kids in Fer and Dora-chan's care while Sui and I headed off into the forest.

Ch 156 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 156 -- Let's Wash Off That Dungeon Grime


After we left the Adventurers Guild I asked Fer to come with me to a quiet place outside the city.

"It's time I brushed and washed you again." I explained. We had spent weeks in the dungeon and I couldn't get a bath there myself but Fer's fur was truly filthy since I never had the time or the opportunity in the dungeon to groom him. It was time to make his coat gleam again, I had decided. I got the big dog brush out of my Item Box as Fer eyed me warily.

"Do you really have to?" he half-whined as I started to carefully brush his coat out.

“Well yes." I said as I worked my way down his back. "There were swamps and deserts in the dungeon, remember, so your coat's really dirty.”

"Nuuuu, I don't think I'm really that dirty..."

“No, no, your coat’s really really dirty. I can feel it, your hair is tangled and your paws and legs are totally encrusted with mud." I kept working at his coat with the brush, figuring that stopping to argue with him would just waste time. He kept muttering under his breath but put up with my efforts. I couldn't understand it really, didn't he like being clean and, well, handsome-looking? He wasn't Japanese, I suppose... Cleaning around Fer's lower legs and paws was a lot of work but finally I finished brushing the mud and dust and mats out of his long hair and it was time to wash him.

"Sui, I need to make hot water so can you fill my bath for me?" I would do it the same way I had done before, add a small Fireball to a bath tub of cold water to make the water warm enough to wash Fer's large body properly.

"I understand-" Sui-chan agreed as I reached into my Item Box to get out my bathtub (MY bathtub!)

“Nuu, hot water isn't needed." Fer interrupted. "I'm okay with cold water, just get it over with.”

"But won't it be too cold for you, washing with cold water? You could catch a chill." It wasn't particularly warm around Doran right now so was washing in cold water really a good idea?

"Moron." Fer said dismissively. "Just who do you think I am? Just getting soaked in cold water isn't going to hurt me. I've got Ninril-sama's blessing, remember? I won't get sick. Just hurry it up will you?"

"Eh, you gonna wash the big guy with cold water?" Dora-chan asked, buzzing around Fer's body inquisitively. Of course, I remembered, he hadn't yet joined our group the last time I had washed Fer. "Hot water feels a lot better, big guy but if you don't want it that way then we'll be able to get our own bath sooner." It seems that Dora-chan really liked bathing.

"Yeah, the quicker you finish washing me the better, so hurry it up." Fer agreed. "Get it over with, will ya?"

“Yeah yeah, I'll wash you quickly with cold water then.”

"Good." Fer closed his eyes, ready for the dreaded onslaught.

“Sui, can you spray Fer like you did last time?"

"Is it OK, Fer-ojichan-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Umu. Go ahead, Sui." Fer braced himself.

"I understand-" Sui sprayed water all over Fer's coat from her tentacle until he was thoroughly soaked. I rubbed lots of the vet-recommended high-quality pet shampoo (remembering not to mention it was particularly good for kittens and puppies within Fer's hearing range) into his coat, starting with the fur on his back.

"Hey, harder!" Fer insisted, his body shivering as I worked the shampoo deep into his coat with my fingers. Yeah yeah. I pushed deeper and harder, forcing the detergent down towards the roots of his long hair.

“Put more effort into it.” Fer admonished me, his body twitching and squirming under my hands. Was the shampoo making his skin itch? It wasn't supposed to, I thought to myself as I washed and washed and washed, working as hard as I could but Fer kept telling me to apply more and more force.

"Harder than that, you." Yeah yeah. I worked my way across his giant body thinking that if he really wanted a quick wash why was he ordering me to slow down to put more effort into the shampooing process? Could it be, I stifled a snigger, that he was actually enjoying the massage? Surely not, the Great And All-powerful Fenrir currently covered in sweet-smelling foamy bubbles was not the sort of creature that would enjoy being man-handled by a mere human, was he? I carefully kept my thoughts to myself as I followed his instructions to rub here with more effort and apply more pressure there and so on. Finally it was done, with the exception of his face and muzzle since I didn't want to get shampoo in his eyes.

“Okay, good. Sui, spray water over Fer again please."

"Yes-" Sui-chan's shower attachment tentacle rinsed the shampoo bubbles from Fer's coat. Just the last bit to do, but was I forgetting something important? Never mind, it'll come to me, I thought to myself.

"Fer, we'll wash your face now." I warned him.

"Nuuuu, do it quick." Fer scrunched up his eyes even more, dreading the faint spritz of water to come.

"Sui, can you put a weak spray of water on Fer's face? Like a bit of rain, nothing harder OK?" I didn't want Sui-chan to unleash a Water Cutter or anything like that by accident. It probably wouldn't hurt Fer but I didn't want to take the chance. What was I forgetting though?

"Yes, I understand-" Sui-chan's tentacle sprayed a gentle stream of water on Fer's face, washing the dirt and grime from his muzzle and around his eyes. I watched shining fur emerge from the muck-encrusted features of Fer's face, wondering how he could stand being so unclean for so long. Finally it was done.

“Okay, Sui, that's enough.” Sui-chan stopped.

"Fuuu-, finally finished?" I saw Fer's water-soaked body tense and I suddenly remembered that important thing. No!

“Fer! Wait a minute." I said urgently. "Don't shake yourself dry until we get well away from you. OK?" Fer froze then relaxed. Sui-chan and I backed quickly away from Fer with Dora-chan flying along with us, obviously puzzled at our reticence. When I judged we were well out of the blast radius I said "On you go!"

Fer shook his massive body, spraying water in all directions like the first time I washed him. This time though I was not in range, just. A few seconds later I felt the warm air of Fer's Wind magic as he completed the process of drying his coat. I didn't need to get out the very large pet towel I had bought originally to dry him.

“Right then, are we going to have a bath as well?” I asked, already reaching into my Item Box for the you-know-what (MY you-know what!)

"Yup." said Dora-chan excitedly.

"Yay-" Sui-chan chimed in.

As we started to get ready for our own bath, the now completely dry Fer was pacing back and forth, obviously agitated for some reason. "If you're all taking a bath then I'm going hunting." he finally said.

“Uh, that's fine but remember you've just got cleaned up so don’t get dirty again too quickly.”

"Nuuu, you don't have to tell me." No Fer, I do have to tell you. Never mind, I could always buy more shampoo from the Net Super. Thinking about shopping I made a request.

"If you're going hunting see if you can bring back some bird-type monsters, like Rock Bird or Cockatrice. We don't have much bird meat left." I felt a bit like an okaasan asking a surly teenager to go to the supermarket for ingredients for dinner but I figured he would agree. It had been a while since we had eaten bird meat after all.

"I got you." He was distracted now, his head swivelling from side to side as, I presume, he was searching the local area for suitable prey.

"Oh, and take this." I took out the middle-sized magic bag from my Item Box. It had a strap across its mouth like a shoulder bag so Fer could easily carry it while he was hunting.

"That magic bag thing?" Fer asked as I hung it around his neck.

"Yeah, it will come in handy. You can put your prey in it so you can bring a lot of monsters back in one go." Fer could usually only bring back one monster at a time in his mouth. The alternative to him using the bag to store them was for him to drag me to where he had piled up mountains of subjugated monsters and have me load them into my Item Box, and I really wanted to have my bath in peace.

"Umu, that's a good idea. I'll borrow it." Fer said before dashing off into the surrounding forest but not before I got him to set up his Barrier for us. Safety first after all.

* * * * *

"Fuuu, this feels good."

"Ahhh, really great!"

"Feeling good, aruji-"

After Fer disappeared into the forest I quickly organised filling the bath and warming up the water and then washed myself down. Now Dora-chan, Sui and me were taking it easy, immersed in the tub's hot soothing water. Dora-chan and Sui-chan were floating like rubber ducks, bobbing up and down while I stretched out in the tub (OUR tub). To celebrate our conquest of Doran's dungeon I had added a deluxe bubbly carbon dioxide bath salt from the Net Super, supposedly beneficial for tiredness. I felt warm and relaxed, my body losing its tenseness. It smelled good, too. Finally-

"I'm done, I think. Want to get out now?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Yeees-"

We all got out of the bath. After I dried myself off, changed into fresh clothes and cleaned up the tub I bought fruit milk for Dora-chan and Sui and coffee for me from the Net Super. Ahhhh!

Suddenly I heard children's voices off in the forest, coming closer. What the-?

"He- HELP!"

"Kyaaa-!"

A boy and a girl, around 10 years old, ran into the clearing, looking frantically behind them and not seeing us standing there.

“Run away, Eris. I'll distract them!" the boy shouted.

“I'm not leaving you!” the girl replied.

Why they were running for their lives became clear very quickly as five pursuing Orcs broke through the underbrush behind them into the clearing.

"Dora-chan, Sui!" I shouted, pointing at the Orcs.

"Yup, leave 'em to me." Dora-chan said, taking to the air.

"Sui will help-" Sui-chan's sniper tentacle swung onto target.

Thunk thunk, thunk. Dora-chan's small figure wreathed in Fire magic punched straight through the bodies of three of the Orcs while Splat! Splat! Sui-chan's Acid Bullets dealt with the remaining two pursuers.

"Hoi, are you two all right?" I went over to the two kids who were standing frozen, stunned at seeing the Orcs dealt with so easily. No reply so I tried again.

“Hey, the Orcs are dead, they can't harm you now." The boy and girl looked at me with fear-stricken expressions. "Where did you two come from?" I asked. We were some distance from the city. Why would young children be wandering through a dangerous forest like this? Was there an adult with them? The boy and the girl both started sobbing. I realised just how scary it would be to be that age and get chased by Orcs but it was over now, wasn't it? Why had they just started crying now?

"Uwaaah, waaaah waaah waaah!"

"Uh, uh, hey hey hey..." I was never very good at dealing with kids and my attempts to console them weren't doing much good when suddenly Fer reappeared from the surrounding forest.

"What's up with these brats?" Fer growled. This didn't help as the children's crying redoubled at the sight of yet another obviously dangerous monster.

"Oh, ah, this is..." I tried to explain to the distraught kids. "Look, it's okay, he's my contracted monster and he won't hurt you or anything." They weren't listening though. Fer spotted the five dead Orcs at the edge of the clearing. "Hey, what are those doing here?" he said loudly, causing the kids to start screaming. Oh great.

"Hey Fer, keep quiet will you?" I sent to Fer telepathically while I bent down in front of the two kids in yet another attempt to comfort them. As they focused on me, I reached over and petted Fer's head like a puppy. I saw their eyes widen in surprise and their sobbing stopped.

“You're safe now." I told them in a quiet and hopefully reassuring voice. I patted Fer's head again, ignoring his telepathic mutterings. I was pretty sure he wouldn't bite my hand off as he was promising. "Fer here is my contracted monster. He won't do anything to hurt you. Really."

Ch 155 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 155 -- The Demon Sword Caladbolg


“Weeeell," I continued, "I didn't put this particular item in the list I gave you earlier because it looked like the sort of thing that was going to be troublesome, you see and..." I stopped delaying the inevitable and reached into my Item Box. "Heave-ho..." I pulled out the Demon Sword Caladbolg.

“This was the drop from the dungeon boss Behemoth we defeated. It's called the Demon Sword Caladbolg, apparently..."

"Wha..." the handsome elf Elland-san sitting across from me broke into a loud coughing fit. "Cough, cough, cough." I waited politely until he had recovered and wiped his streaming eyes.

"De-, De-, Demon Sword?" He coughed again but his eye stayed fixed on the sword I held in my hand like I was holding a poisonous snake. I might have laughed at his over-reaction but it just confirmed to me this sword was going to be troublesome, or perhaps even dangerous. A moment or two later he had composed himself somewhat and continued.

"You see, cursed swords..." he said, his eyes still concentrating on the sword I held. "Given that Doran's dungeon has a high difficulty rating some people, including myself, thought there was a chance that there might be a cursed sword drop if it was defeated..."

As Elland-san went on to explain to me only four cursed swords were known to exist. The first, “Demon Sword Joyeuse” was said to have been brought back from a dungeon by a Hero chosen by a God 700 years ago. It was kept securely in the main Temple of the Holy Kingdom of Lubanov.

The second cursed sword, "Demon Sword Blutgang" was in the possession of the Geisler Empire. They took it from a dungeon in their territory about 400 years ago. It is said they sent 30,000 soldiers into the dungeon to acquire it.

The third cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Balisarda” owned by the Marbella Kingdom. The story is that about 300 years ago a party of S-rank Adventurers brought it back from some unknown dungeon and the Kingdom of Marbella bought it. The rumour is that it cost the Kingdom its entire annual budget to purchase it.

The fourth cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Arondight” which was in the possession of the Leonhart Kingdom. According to legend it was recovered from a dungeon in this country by Leonhart's first king (by the way, that wasn't the dungeon here in Doran, apparently).

I wondered who was the first king who had the ability to bring back a magic sword back from a dungeon. It sounded like quite a story which I wanted to hear when I had the time, I thought to myself, as Elland-san sat back and spread his hands. However I had my own problems to deal with first. This “Demon Sword Caladbolg” that I brought back from Doran's dungeon was going to be only the fifth cursed sword known to exist? "Troublesome" didn't begin to describe it, I decided.

"You said that all four of the magical swords I you told me about, they all belong to countries...?" Elland-san had been clear the cursed swords he had told me about were in the possession, not of Adventurers or Heroes, but various nations.

"That's right." he went on. "A cursed sword is a symbol of national power so any country that can get one will keep it in their possession.'' Oh. I looked down at the heavy sword in my hand. So what I'm holding right now is something any country, any ruler would desire, would pay any price to obtain. Oh dear.

“Oh, so would you be willing to buy it?” I asked desperately. If I sold it to the Guild then it wouldn't be my problem any more, right?

“Don’t be stupid." Elland-san blurted, his eyes wide in shock, then he shook his head. "Sorry, but we can't buy a Demon Sword. Its price, like I said, matches a country's national budget." Of course, you're totally right. Forget I even asked you, Elland-san.

"We can't buy it," he went on, "but perhaps you should think about trying to use it yourself? Any swordsman could only dream of wielding such a weapon." No, Elland-san, I'm not a swordsman. I looked down at the sword again. It was really too heavy for me to use comfortably as a weapon -- the Mithril shortsword Sui-chan had made for me was my limit, just about, and for some reason I didn't want some country or other to have the Demon Sword Caladbolg  as a symbol of their power and prestige. I'd let it sleep forever in my Item Box, I decided.

“Well no, Elland-san." I explained. "This sword is really too heavy for me to use properly.”

"Oh, is that so?" Elland-san mused. "Could I hold it for a moment?"

"Yeah, that's OK." I said, handing the sword over to him. Elland-san hefted it then pulled Caladbolg out of its scabbard.

“It's certainly a heavy sword but that doesn't necessarily mean you couldn't wield it." Elland-san stood up and swung Caladbolg experimentally. Of course he was a former S rank adventurer and swordsman so he made it look effortless. Me, on the other hand, I'd probably drop it on my foot or cut my own leg off if I tried.

“I think it's made of Adamantite.” I said off-handedly as he admired the dark blade.

"Cough, cough, cough!!!" Elland-san suffered his second coughing fit of the day. Remarkably he didn't drop Caladbolg as he did so. I attributed this to his expertise as a swordsman.

"A-, A-, A-, Adamantite, it's made of....?" he stuttered, staring at the blade again.

“That’s what the Appraisal said.” I confirmed. Was it so surprising that Caladbolg was made of Adamantite? Mithril was, if not common at least something people in this world were familiar with. I thought that Adamantite would also be rarer and more expensive than Mithril but was it THAT uncommon?

After Elland-san regained his composure (again) he explained. “Adamantite, they say, is a legendary metal that no-one can damage or deform..." He stared again at the sword in his hand, awe and wonder in his eyes. Ah, that's how it is in this world. That just confirmed my earlier decision to keep this sword in my Item Box forever.

“Well, it's no use to me so I'll just put it away in my Item Box for now." I said to Elland-san who handed the Demon Sword Caladbolg back to me (a trifle reluctantly, perhaps) but he nodded approvingly as I put it into its sheath and deposited it in my Item Box again, muttering "Maybe it's for the best." as I did so. Sleep well, Caladbolg-san. There might come a time when I could do something with it but for now I was in no hurry to ever take it out again.

I thought we were finished but Elland-san raised a finger as I got up to leave. “Oh, yes, there was something else I had to tell you. You have been promoted to rank A, Mukouda-san." I sat down again, rather abruptly. What? Surely I was C-ranked, it said so on my Guild card didn't it? Why had I been suddenly promoted?

"Eh, now I'm an A-rank?"

"Yes, you can't remain as a C-ranked Adventurer after conquering the dungeon here in Doran." Elland-san explained. Oh, so that's why. Elland-san confiscated my C-rank Guild card and handed me a shiny new gold card which confirmed my new A-rank to anyone who might see it. I accepted it with some reluctance knowing that the conquest of Doran's dungeon was not due to my own minimal efforts over the past couple of weeks. I had left all the real fighting in the dungeon to my contracted monsters, after all.

“So, how long will it take for you to decide which items to buy from me?” I asked Elland-san as I tucked my new Guild card away.

“I’m going to consult with the Deputy Guild Master and we should be able to let you know what we will be purchasing by the day after tomorrow." Elland-san shrugged. "I have to prepare to visit the Adventurers Guild headquarters, and the Royal Palace too, in the capital to report on what has happened as soon as possible, you see. It's really troublesome..." Elland-san muttered. "The senior officers in the Guild and the King as well want to hear all the details of the conquest of Doran's dungeon, the specific changes to the later levels and so on and I've been summoned to personally provide them with that information." He looked at me questioningly. "Of course, it would be a great help for me to have the Adventurer in question and his contracted monsters accompanying me on such a trip.”

I immediately shook my head. Nope nope nope. “No, I don't agree, Elland-san. Pardon me but I respectfully decline." Meeting with the higher-ups of the Adventurers Guild would be bad enough but I most definitely didn't want to go to the Royal palace. It wasn't just the stress involved in dealing with such important and high-ranking people, I was also worried that the secret of my Summoning from another world might leak out.

"Ah well, I understand." Elland-san nodded. "We were told that you prefer to keep to yourself, Mukouda-san and of course we have the order from the Royal palace instructing us not to try to compel you to do anything you don't want to."

Thank you, thank you, I was really glad the ruler of this country was someone who could be reasonable. Of course he didn't want to anger Fer and perhaps have his nation destroyed but someone less sensible and more demanding could have made things more difficult for me.

Elland-san didn't give up though. "Is there nothing I could say or do that might persuade you to change your mind?" he asked. "I don't want to travel to the capital by myself. If we were travelling together, Mukouda-san then that would mean Dora-chan would be with us and I'd really like that." Uh-oh, Elland-san's Dragon obsession was leaking out again as his eyes took on a faraway look.

"I wrote out a request for a long vacation, you know, I wanted to follow you and Dora-chan and the others into the dungeon..." He shook himself. "However the Deputy Guild Master tore up my vacation request form. Don't you think that's a terrible thing for him to do? He even threatened me with going on strike! ‘So, Guild Master, if you're not going to take your job seriously then don't expect me to cover for you' is what he said."

No, Elland-san, the terrible thing is you not doing your job. I think you have a hard time dealing with your boss, Deputy Guild Master. Still, Elland-san had been helpful and supportive, at least when he didn't have visions of Dragons dancing through his head so I decided to make him an offer he would appreciate.

“Well, we're going to be staying in Doran for another day or two since the purchase of drop items has to be finalised but then we'll be leaving." I said. "However, if we come across another Dragon then we'll bring it back to this city."

At my words Elland-san slammed his hands on the table and leaned over it, his face uncomfortable close to my own.

"Really? Is that a promise?" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

"Yes, that's a promise, Elland-san." I answered, wishing the handsome but mercurial Elf was more familiar with the concept of personal space. Making a promise like that was easy, really, since Elland-san had proven he could successfully dismantle a Dragon, a rare skill. The alternative to returning to Doran to have this exacting task carried out would be to leave any Dragon Fer subjugated in the future in my Item Box forever like the other permanent residents resting there.

"You promised!" Elland-san grasped my shoulders and I think he would have hugged me or worse if the table hadn't been in the way.

"Yes, yes, Elland-san, it's a promise." I agreed. I broke his grip with some difficulty and stood up as he sat back in his chair, a goofy expression on his face. "So, I'll come back to the Guild some time the day after tomorrow when the purchases have been decided. Until then..." I closed the door behind me quietly but Elland-san didn't notice, his mind clearly on other things. I made a mental note to myself, don't discuss Dragons with Elland-san again if I didn't want to spend a long time helplessly trapped in his presence.

Ch 154 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 154 -- A Much Put-upon Deputy Guild Master


After breakfast Dora-chan announced he wanted to eat pudding. "Yeah, yesterday's wobbly stuff. I want to eat it again." Dora-chan really liked pudding, it seemed.

"Sui also wants to eat cake-" Sui-chan added, pyonging around hopefully. They both liked sweet things. Well, it would be easy enough for me to indulge them but they'd just want more and more unless I laid down some rules. Eating too many sweets would be bad for their health, after all.

"Hmm, I will do it this time, but sweet things like pudding and cake are two per day, no more." I glanced around at Fer who was pretending not to listen but the drool around his jaws showed he was paying close attention. "This will apply to all three of you guys, Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan, OK?"

"Eh, just two-? Gimme a little more will ya?" Dora-chan pushed.

"Only two-?" Sui-chan asked plaintively. Both Dora-chan and Sui seem a little dissatisfied with the limit I was setting but I had to harden my heart.

"Two pieces a day is fine but no more." I insisted.

"All right, two pieces are fine." Dora-chan said after a second or two, giving in at least for the time being. I suspected this would be a battle I'd have fight again in the future but for the moment the victory was mine.

"Sui is good with two-" Sui-chan agreed, following Dora-chan's lead.

"I want to eat a wobbly thing right away." Dora-chan insisted.

"What does Sui want-?" Sui-chan paused, obviously thinking seriously about this important question. "Hmmm, Sui will have one as well, a cake but something different from yesterday's cake-".

"Give me that white one with the red fruits on top again." Fer added quickly, all pretence of disinterest gone in an instant. So all of them wanted a sweet after breakfast? That was fine, now that I had set the rules. I bought a custard pudding and strawberry shortcake at the Net Super's Sanke tenant shop and then after thinking a bit I got Sui-chan a a strawberry mousse cake.

"Here they are." I said after dishing them out.

"Ooooh, the wobbly stuff again, great!" Dora-chan's muzzle was caked with his long-awaited pudding as he messily gobbled it up.

"Umu." Fer ate his shortcake in a single bite, not bothering to savour its taste.

"Wow, this is something I've never eaten before. Oh, this is sweet and sour and delicious-!" The strawberry mousse cake seemed to be to Sui-chan's taste too.

Well, now that had everyone finished eating their after-breakfast dessert, how about we go to the Adventurers Guild?

* * * * *


When we arrived at the Adventurers Guild the staff hurried off to fetch Elland-san who arrived promptly to greet us before he led us up to his private Guild Master's office.

"So, can we buy your dungeon drop products now?" he asked, getting right down to business.

"Yes. But I should warn you there is a lot more than I thought..." I said.

"Oh really? First, tell me what sort of things you have to sell and I'll be able to determine what the Guild will be willing to buy from you." Elland-san had said earlier that the Guild wanted to buy all the skins that made up most of the drops we had collected but thinking about it the high-value drops like gems and magic items would be less likely to sell, at least straight away. I fumbled for the list I had made the day before and finally found it before reading it out aloud.

"Weeeell, let's see, there's Venom Tarantula poison sac x 3, Orc meat x 56, Orc testicle x 31, Orc skin x 125, Lizardman skin x 63, Ogre skin x 102, Ogre magic stone (small) × 21, Troll skin × 113 pieces ... ... (... omitted) ... ... and finally a magic detoxification necklace × 1"

I didn't include the ring of magic recovery in the list because I was already wearing it and not planning to sell it. There was also the little matter of the cursed sword Caladbolg. I wanted to think about that a bit more and maybe discuss it with Elland-san after the other drops had been dealt with. It was the sort of show-stopper that would derail our negotiations for selling the simpler items first. Even so, after I had finished reading out the very long list of drop items I had for sale Elland-san's mouth was hanging open. The combination of Elvish good looks and stunned expression on his face almost made me laugh out loud but I schooled myself.

After a few seconds he shook himself a little and his confident Guild Master face re-appeared. "Well, that's a tremendous amount, isn't it..." he muttered, deep in thought. Well, thinking back on what happened in the dungeon my three contracted monsters are strong and they gleefully slaughtered every monster they encountered so it's not surprising there were a lot of drops.

"I was in a party that cleared the first 29 levels of Doran's dungeon and we collected a considerable number of drops and magic items but, well..." Elland-san spread his hands. "What we brought back doesn't begin to approach your achievements, Mukouda-san."

"No no," I said, "Fer, Dora-chan and Sui did all the hard work. I just worked at collecting all the drops from the monsters they defeated." Okay, I fought a bit, well a little bit but it was all up to them, really.

"The majestic figure of Dora-chan..." That regrettably familiar expression came across Elland-san's face.  "I truly wanted to see him fight monsters in the dungeon. Alas, I was prevented from following you by the Guild's Deputy Master..." Tut tut, Elland-san. You would just have been in the way if you had followed us, never mind the extra work you would have imposed on Doran's Deputy Guild Master.

"Oh, that aside," Elland-san shook himself, returning to the business at hand. "About the purchases, I'm sorry but we can't buy everything, I hope you understand." Well the amount of items we were offering for sale was rather excessive, that was true. "But skin drops from the dungeon are always in high demand and we can buy most if not all of them. The Orc skins and Lizardman skins for sure and I would like to buy all of the Ogre skins too. I also want the Troll skins but... hmmm, I think I'll have to consult with the Deputy Guild Master to see if we can purchase them too." Ellan-san's face fell again. "The Deputy Guild Master was rather angry about me spending so much of the Guild's funds earlier."

Oh, was he really angry with you, Elland-san? Okay, I had received the money in question but it seemed it was because of Ellan-san's own desires in regard to the Earth Dragon's disassembly rather than a hard-headed business transaction.

"That's not a problem." I reassured the dismayed Guild Master. "Ah, I should add that we'll be keeping any of the meat that was on the list for our own consumption so you should disregard it for purchase, please." I had a sudden thought. "Ah, and another thing."

I pulled the small and middle-sized magic bags out of my Item Box.

"Hey, Fer." I held out the bags for him to examine. "Can your Appraisal skill tell if time passes inside these bags?" I had been wondering if time stopped inside these bags like it did in my Item Box. That time freeze feature was useful for all sorts of things like keeping cooked food hot and fresh but sometimes I wanted things to happen normally. Marinating ingredients like kaarage or other pickled foods, they took time to make properly, letting the meat steep in broth and sauce for hours. I could hurry things up by poking the meat with a fork before massaging it in sauce in a plastic bag but it was easier and better to make it and leave it to soak overnight, on the desk in my room at an inn when I slept for example.

I was hoping that if I made, say, pickled meat in miso and put it in the bag for storage then when I took it out later it would be the same as having it sit in a pot overnight. I could then transfer it to my Item Box, ready to use for cooking when I needed it even if I was travelling with Fer and company. Would Fer be able to judge that effect with his superior Appraisal skill?

"Well, let's see." Fer studied the bags for a moment. "Hummmm, it looks like time passes as usual for anything in these bags here from what I can tell."

 So for both bags time passed inside them as usual? I'd keep the middle-sized magic bag and offer the smaller one for sale then. As I put them away in my Item Box once again I noticed Elland-san was staring wide-eyed at Fer.

"What's wrong Elland-san?" I asked.

"Ah- Ah you see... that Fenrir, c- can it really use the Appraisal skill?" he stuttered.

Oh, so that was it. The Appraisal skill was a rare gift, usually only available to Heroes summoned from the other world like in the stories. I had got it myself by accident, sort of. Fer, on the other hand was no Hero (hah!) and hadn't been summoned like me.

"Ah, remember Fer's sort of a legendary monster." I explained.

"Sort of?" Fer grumbled telepathically. "What do you mean by 'sort of'?"

Would a true legendary monster agree to a life-long submission contract to someone like me just because he's a glutton? I thought very privately to myself.

"Oh, yes, that's true." Elland-san said finally. "A legendary monster like a Fenrir doesn't appear often so finding out he has the Appraisal skill was just a bit of a surprise to me, that's all."

Yeah, I had just about forgotten myself just how unusual my companions were, a Fenrir, a Pixie Dragon and a special Slime. To others they were powerful and dangerous monsters, to me they were bottomless appetites demanding to be fed immense quantities of delicious food three times a day (and snacks too now, I remembered). I pressed on with the business at hand though.

"In that case can you remove the middle-sized magic bag from the list of items for sale?" I asked.

Elland-san nodded. "The meat and the middle-sized magic bag. Are you sure you want to sell everything other than those items?"

"Yes, that's correct." I agreed. Now the purchases were out of the way it might now be time to discuss 'that'.