Ch 173 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 173 -- Increased To 6 Silver Coins

I decided to make the next set of offerings to the Gods and Goddesses a bit earlier than I really had to. When I was late they sent me oracles and yelled a lot and I'd really rather not have to listen to their endless complaints.

Ahem. "Everyone, can you all hear me?" As soon as I called out my ears were filled with incomprehensible babbling from the many freeloading deities I was obliged to cater to. 

"Hey, you should know I can't understand what you're saying if you all talk at once. Please speak one by one." I said as politely as I could. The undecipherable garble cut off suddenly. That's better, I nodded to myself.

"Me first, me first! Hey you, ah, ah, ah, that Sanke? Isn't it a wonderful store? You did great choosing that store, you know! Good job, you! Anyway send me cakes and sweets from the Sanke store. Sanke cakes! Sanke sweets! Send me all sorts of goodies!"

Deplorable Goddess Ninril-sama was maybe getting a little bit too excited. I sighed, did I really expect anything else from her? I was still a little disappointed. She was a Goddess after all, shouldn't she be more dignified?

"It's me next." Was that voice Hephaestus-sama? "I know your unique Skill can level up and when it does you can choose a tenant shop for your store. Anyway I did some digging around and it seems that in your world liquor stores can be tenants." There was a pause and what sounded a bit like someone gulping saliva. Well yeah, I'd seen liquor stores in big supermarkets and high-class shops back home. What was he going on about though?

"The next time you'll get a tenant store will be when you get to level 40 so you should level up as fast as you can and get to level 40 quick then choose a liquor store for the next tenant."

Hold on, I'm not intending to level up so quickly. Are you trying to twist my arm?

"That's right. You can get to level 40 real quick if you go all out and then you should add a liquor store as your next tenant." That sounded like Vulcan-sama. "When you do that, we can get more different kinds of other-world booze. I can't wait, wah ha ha ha..."

Uh oh, not going to happen. I had no plans to do anything that would increase my levels, they were fine just the way they were right now thank you. I just wanted to have a normal quiet life, well as quiet as I could given my circumstances. 

"You get your next tenant store at level 40?" Agni-sama chimed in. "If that's the case you should go conquer the dungeon again. Hurry up, hurry up and go and level up quick, then choose a liquor store as the next tenant."

You're wanting me to dive into dungeon again, Agni-sama? Really? Uh, which part of "no way" don't you understand? You're deciding my next tenant store is going to sell liquor even before I know if that's going to be one of the choices.

"Hey, you can't just decide that the next tenant is going to be a liquor store just like that!" Was that Kishar-sama? Thank you for standing up for me! "The next tenant should be a pharmacy, obviously." she declared. Oh, Kishar-sama... "I also saw the stores in the world other-world-guy-kun came from. Drug stores in his world sell lots of cosmetics and a bigger range than the ones he can get for me right now. The next tenant absolutely MUST be a drug store."

Had Kishar-sama been investigating pharmacies in my world? She really wanted the next tenant to be a drug store but I wouldn't find out what I could choose until I reached level 40, there might not even be a drug store in the selection menu?

""""Hurry up, level up, hurry up, level up, hurry up, level up"""

The chanting from the various deities became louder and louder.

"Please stop brow-beating me, Hephaestus-sama, Vulcan-sama, Agni-sama, Kishar-sama, it's impossible for me to level up quickly even if I wanted to. I'm content with my life right now, I don't want to level up further just so you can get stuff from another tenant store."

"Are you serious? You're in the dungeon city right now, you could dive into the dungeon again and you'd reach level 40 in no time!"

"That's right. Dive into that dungeon and reach level 40 quick. Then you can choose a liquor store as your tenant right away.”

"Hey, you've got total total status nullification and Perfect Defence. Man up, will ya?"

"I agree. I think a liquor store is okay for later but if you quickly level up to level 40 you can select a pharmacy as the tenant store.”

Hephaestus-sama, Vulcan-sama, Agni-sama and Kishar-sama were being selfish but that was nothing new. I decided to put my foot down.

"Well, I'm tired of repeating myself but I'll say it once again, I am not planning to raise my level." I paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "If you keep on pushing me to raise my level just so you lot can get offerings from another tenant store I will stop making these offerings completely. You can take back your blessings and we can go our own way from now on."

When I said that, Hephaestus-sama, Vulcan-sama, Agni-sama and Kishar-sama quickly changed tack.

"No, that's not a good idea. Absolutely not. I won't tell you that you should raise the level anymore."

"That's right. You don't have to raise your level."

"Oh, oh. You don't have to raise your level, really."

"That's right." Kishar-sama finished up. "Eventually your level will rise by itself, we just have to be patient, that's all." That last part sounded like it had been squeezed out from between gritted teeth but I took it as acceptance. I didn't get away with it completely though as Kishar-sama moved the negotiations in another direction.

"However, in exchange for not insisting you raise your level for us, couldn't you double the 3 silver coins limit on your offerings~?" Uh, Kishar-sama?

"Oh, that's a good idea."

"Kishar,  you do say some good things sometimes."

"She really does."

"Since other-world-guy's store already has a Sanke I don't care who the next tenant will be, but it's a good idea to double the three silver coins limit anyway, you know."

"...doubling is good."

All of the Gods and Goddesses agreed with Kishar-sama's wheedling. I felt the trap closing in around me.

"It's a really good idea even if I say so myself." Kishar-sama said smugly. "But Vulcan, what's with that 'sometimes'? I always say good things~"

The pressure was on, should I double the three silver coins limit to six? Well, I'd been earning a lot lately, and I had to admit the deities had given me their blessings and Skills so...

"Okay. I'll set the limit at 6 silver coins from now on. In exchange you'll stop demanding that I quickly raise my level."

I heard loud cheers and squeals of delight from the heavenly realm. Are they really Gods and Goddesses? I let them continue celebrating for a bit more then interrupted.

"Right then, quiet down and tell me what you want for your offerings, one at a time please. Make your mind up quickly, there's a lot of you to get through now."

"Yes, yes, yes, be quiet you lot!" Deplorable-sama #1 ordered. "Sanke cake! I want cake from the Sanke store! I want all of them!" Yeah, it's easy for you to say you want everything in the store, Ninril-sama...

"Ninril-sama, 6 silver coins isn't nearly enough to buy everything in the Sanke store." I pointed out.

"Nuuuu, is that how it is?" She sounded disappointed but rallied quickly. "Ah well, can you show me the cakes I can choose from then?" Ah, she wanted to see the Net Super listings. This was a step up, it seemed Deplorable-sama #1 was capable of learning something, at least when it came to cakes and sweets.

"Okay then but remember there are others waiting to receive their offerings so please make your choice quickly." I told her. There was a loud chorus of agreement from the other Gods and Goddesses.

"I understand, you know!" Petulant-sama said. "Now show me!" Giving in, I opened the Net Super to the Sanke store menu while Ninril-sama peered over my shoulder from wherever the Gods hung out.

"If you want to eat various kinds of cakes, look at these ones here." I opened the cut cake menu and pointed to the various pieces of cake listed.

"Muhhh, that's amazing! Everything looks delicious!" I could almost feel her drooling on my shoulder as I converted the prices on the screen to this world's currency in my head.

"If you choose from the pieces of cake shown here, you can have 15 of them since they're all 4 copper coins." That was close enough, I figured. Ninril-sama squeaked in delight at my words, making a very suspicious noise. I wondered, not for the first time, if she was perhaps a little too enraptured by my world's sweets and cakes.

After a longish silence she finally declared "Ahhhh, I can't choose between them!" The mutterings in the background increased in volume and anger so I quickly decided to intervene.

"If that's the case, why don't you just try them all, in order from the top? I'll make you an offering of the first 15 cakes listed here today and next time I'll send you the 15 cakes after that."

"Oh, that's a good idea! That way I can completely conquer Sanke's sweets!" Ninril-sama squealed again. I quickly ordered the first 15 pieces of cakes in order from the top of the Sanke store listing before she could change her mind again... and done!

"Right, who's next?" I was getting tired and my politeness levels were dropping rapidly. Tough.

"Next is of course is me." That sounded like Kishar-sama. "My stocks of shampoo and hair treatments are getting low and I want some more. Can you show me what you can offer to me?" Ah, Kishar-sama wanted to look over my shoulder at the Net Super too. What a pain... but showing the Net Super to Ninril-sama but not Kishar-sama wasn't going to work so I opened the Net Super's menu to the pages with hair care products and pointed to the items on sale.

Kishar-sama started peppering me with questions, "Would this one suit my kind of hair?" and "What kind of scent does this one have?" and so on. I was no hair care expert of course, all I could do was read out the descriptions beside each item on the menu while the muttering from the other deities impatiently waiting their turn increased in volume.

"Oh, everything looks soooo good, I give up! I never realised this other-world had soooo many kinds of shampoo and conditioners and hair treatments. And the different scents too, oh my! I really can't decide!"

Why is it that women can't decide what to buy when they're out shopping? I remembered the times I had been dragged along by my sister to act as her luggage porter when she visited a department store. It had been terrible! This was taking too long...

"Oh, hurry up!"

"Yeah, you're spending too much time choosing."

Uh-oh, the Gods of Booze were getting frustrated but Kishar-sama was not to be rushed.

"What should I do? I like the scent of shampoo and conditioner I'm using now so I can't dismiss it entirely..."

I decided to give her a bit of a push. "In that case, why not stock up on more of the same shampoo and conditioner as before? Then with the extra silver coins for this offering you can buy some other shampoos and conditioners as well. It would be good to try other things too."

Kishar-sama wasn't totally convinced but I sensed she was wavering. "Maybe... Depending on how I feel...".

One last effort. "How about this new product?" I knew that would get her attention.

"Is it really new? Doesn't that mean it's better than before?" Kishar-sama asked, obviously intrigued.

"Well, since it is a new product, it's bound to be better than before. Look, they've added new ingredients."

"Then I'll take it!" Yay for 'new ingredients', I thought to myself. "Hummm, are there any other new products I should look at?"

"Well, yes I think so." I pointed at another hair treatment. "This one looks like a new product. Is this okay?"

"Yes, then that one too please."

"Okay, this and this and this, that's a refill of your usual shampoo and conditioner plus these two other new sets, at two silvers each." I selected the items and put them into the online shopping basket.

"Next please." I rolled my shoulders to ease the stiffness building up in them. This was hard work, harder than cooking for the Gluttonous Trio in some ways.

"Agni here. I want to order booze again but I really like the beer you've been sending me so make half of it beer and the other half will be different sorts of booze and wine as before.''

"Does Agni-sama not need to see the menu?" I asked.

"I'm fine. It's more fun to drink it than choose it. Having the taste be a surprise is good too."

I see, that made sense in its own way. I wished all of the Gods and Goddesses were like Agni-sama. However it meant the choice was up to me... Okay, first up was the beer. I decided on a six-pack of 'A' company's premium beer and a six-pack of 'K' company's premium beer topped up with a six-pack of 'Y's beer from Sapporo. I added in a few small-brewery bottles of beers from Yamaguchi, Niigata and Yokohama for variety. The order was topped up with American whiskey, French rosé wine and Italian red wine and that was it for Agni-sama's offering.

"Next..." My bed was looking more and more inviting.

"Ruka. I'll have the same as Ninril." Oh, Ruka-sama sounded a bit more assertive than usual.

"So Ruka-sama wants cake from the Sanke store as well today?" I asked. She usually wanted regular food as well...

"Yes, cake today. Like Ninril, all different."

I wondered why Ruka-sama only wanted cake this time but she had probably been looking at the Sanke menu with Ninril-sama earlier, and it was quite an impressive display after all. Ruka-sama liked sweets too, of course. To keep things simple I chose fifteen pieces in the cake menu starting from the top for Ruka-sama just as I had done for Ninril-sama. Yosh, one more offering down!

"Next..."

"Hey, it's us two next." It was the booze-hound combo of Hephaestus-sama and Vulcan-sama to round everything off. "We're after whiskey and vodka like last time and we'll let you choose what we get same as always." Vulcan-sama said.

"But we wanta see what you can offer us. Let us see it, hey?" Hephaestus-sama added.

Yeah yeah. I opened the Net Super alcoholic drinks menu to the page listing whiskies as Hephaestus-sama and Vulcan-sama looked over my shoulder too. "These are the whiskies I can offer you." I explained.

"Huh, that many? Wow, I'm totally lost." Vulcan-sama said.

"The other-world whiskies are really awesome, aren't they? So many kinds, what makes them different?" Hephaestus-sama asked.

"Well, they're all whiskies but but the taste is subtly different depending on where it's made and who makes it. Different people like different types and flavours." I explained.

"So that’s how it is. Amazing! I want to drink all of them but we're on a limited budget." Vulcan-sama said.

"Ah. That's right... can you increase your budget for offerings some more?" Hephaestus-sama asked.

"Absolutely not. I just increased it already, remember?" I answered sourly. 

"Cheh." Don't click your tongue at me, you booze-hound Gods. 

"So then, which ones would you recommend?" Vulcan-sama asked.

"Hmm, I don't drink whiskey so much..." I scanned the listings looking for inspiration and one prominent entry caught my eye. "Ah, this one maybe? It's a bit more expensive than most of the others but it's recommended and I've heard that this whiskey was rated the best in the world." It was S company's famous whiskey, made in Japan. It had made the news headlines when it won an international award and colleagues at work who were into whiskies had mentioned it as being particularly tasty.

"The world's best whiskey..." There were a pair of loud gulps, perfectly synchronised.

"I'll request the best whiskey in the world then." Vulcan-sama said. "You choose something different."

"Ah, of course. When I heard that it was the best whiskey in the world I couldn't wait to drink it." Hephaestus-sama said.

Yeah yeah, get on with it will you?

"Let me see, all the liquors from different worlds are delicious, but I remember this black bottle was good."

"This black bottle here?" I pointed to to S company's famous black bottle whiskey.

"That's the one." Hephaestus-sama agreed.

"It sure was delicious." Vulcan-sama said. "For my next choice, this one with the picture of the bird on it, that was tasty."

Picture of a bird, picture of a bird... Was this the one Vulcan-sama was referring to? I pointed to the American whiskey with the bird on the label.

"Is this the one?" It was quite popular as a mixer in bars in my world, I remembered.

"Okay, will I add these two bottles to the offerings as well?" I received two thumbs up from the boozehounds. I did a quick calculation in my head before announcing, "You have four silver coins remaining between you. What else do you want?"

"What about some vodka?" Vulcan-sama asked so I opened the menu to the page with vodka.

"There aren't many different types of vodka." Vulcan-sama said, sounding somewhat disappointed. He was right, only four types were listed on the page. The selection of vodkas from the Net Super was quite limited.

"Yes, it's very strong but it's not as popular as whiskey."

"Which ones are new?" Vulcan-sama was beginning to sound a bit like Kishar-sama... I looked at the listing, pointing to various vodkas in turn. "I sent this one and this one to you last time." I thought for a moment, then pointed again.  "That one I sent you the time before so THIS one here is the only you haven't tried yet."

While I was talking I could hear the two boozehounds muttering to each other. "The one with the blue letters, that's one I haven't tried yet? Then I'll have that too." Vulcan-sama announced finally.

"This one with the blue letters?" I pointed at the Russian 'S' company's bottle.

"That's right." He confirmed so I added it to the shopping cart. That was three whiskeys and two vodkas, leaving one silver coin.

"You have one more silver coin for offerings, what do you want? There are no other vodkas that you can buy but there are some other whiskeys."

"Then, whiskey please." Okay, I looked down the listings at the lower-priced offerings and found a 700 ml bottle of whisky, the one from Scotland with a white horse on the label for a single silver coin. Finally the order was complete so I paid for it all and waited for the items to appear before me. It only took a few moments to sort out the various offerings onto the depressingly-familiar cardboard altars before I clasped my hands and closed my eyes.

"Please accept these items." I prayed out loud, silently thinking "and let me get to sleep." I heard the usual cheers of the Gods and the Goddesses as the items on the altars disappeared.

“Sanke, Sanke, Sanke !!!"

"Oh, this will keep my hair beautiful~"

"The world's best whiskey! Yahoo!!"

"Let's get to drinking, God of Blacksmiths!"

The babble died away abruptly as usual and I stretched... Haaaa~ I was tired, exhausted from explaining everything and showing them what they could get. It had been a real bother. I collapsed on my bed, intending to go to sleep right away.

――― Just then in the heavenly Realm.

"Hey, God of Blacksmiths."

"What?"

"That other-world-guy said we shouldn't force him to level up, but I think we should do it anyway."

"Oh. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, God of War?"

"Yeah. We saw a lot of different kinds of booze today but what if he had a liquor store in his shop? We'd be able to choose even more kinds of booze then.''

"Umu. Now we know they exist in his world I can't stop thinking about them."

"Too true. However, if we tell him to raise his level, he'll threaten to stop making offerings again so I was wondering if we could get him to raise his level and acquire that tenant store in secret. He doesn't check his own status too often, you see and even if he did notice another extra Skill we slipped in without telling him it's unlikely that he'd get really angry since it's not something too bothersome."

"That's a good idea. What is the Skill you were thinking of?"

"Ah. If we give him this one, his level will rise quickly even if he doesn't work hard at it."

"Gahaha"

"Ahaha"

"Gahahahahahahaha"

"Ahahahahahaha"

"I'm looking forward to him reaching level 40."

"Yup. When that happens, the tenant will be a liquor store."

"Of course."

And so Mukouda-san acquired a new Skill without realizing it. 

[ Skill ] Double experience points (XP)

Double each XP earned. Having this Skill means your level will increase quickly.

Ch 172 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 172 -- Mithril Frying Pan


"Sui, can I ask you to do me a little favour?"

"Whaaat-" Sui-chan looked up at me as I pulled out a frying pan from my Item Box and held it out to her.

"This frying pan, can you make another one for me but a bit bigger, is that OK?" Sui poked at the frying pan with a tentacle before replying.

"Ummmm, I can do this quick-" she replied. Oh, this would be easy? Well, it didn't have moving parts like the excellent mincer she had made earlier, maybe that would simplify things. I handed some Mithril ore to Sui who swallowed it.

"Let's see, this goes here, that goes there, ummm..." Sui-chan suddenly extruded a tentacle holding a shiny blue frying pan. "Here, it's finished-." Oh, that was quick. I took the freshly made Mithril frying pan from her, surprised at how light it felt given its size.

"This feels really good. I'll try it out right now." I hadn't put away the Black Magic Cooking Stove after dinner so I lit up one of the burners and put the Mithril frying pan on top and waited a few seconds but... Oh? I turned the burner up to maximum but the Mithril frying pan wasn't getting hot at all for some reason. I gingerly held my hand over the pan but, nope, still cold even after the burner had been on for a minute and more.

"What's going on?" I muttered as I Appraised the Mithril frying pan.


[ Mithril Frying Pan ]

A frying pan made from Mithril. Because it is made from Mithril, it does not conduct heat.


... well if it won't conduct heat then it wasn't going to work very well as a frying pan, was it? I thought it was going to be really good to cook with since it was so light but sadly I wasn't going to be able to use it. I gave some thought to what the Appraisal had said, did that mean that anything made from Mithril wouldn't conduct heat? I had a Mithril knife and short sword made by Sui-chan, oh and the Mithril mincer too. Not conducting heat was a good thing for the mincer, it prevented the meat from being damaged by friction while I ground it up. If I wanted anything else made from Mithril I'd have to give consideration to this particular characteristic of the magic metal, nothing that required heating.

It was such a lovely frying pan, I thought sadly to myself, but totally useless. Could Sui make it into something else? Hmmm, if it didn't conduct heat then it would be good to keep food hot for a long time, but thinking about it cooked food really needed to be left to cool a little before eating, even for Fer and company. Keeping things cool though, that might be useful.

"Sui, this frying pan doesn't work." I took it off the Black Magic Cooking Stove, still as cold as when I put it on and handed it back to her. I dug into my Item Box and found the cup I used to drink from as well as one of the deeper bowls Fer and the others usually drank from. "Can you make a cup like this and three bowls like this?"

Sui poked the cup and bowl with her tentacle. ""Easy-" she said, swallowing the frying pan. She wiggled and burbled for a few seconds then extruded a cup and three bowls, glowing faintly blue.

"Yeah, done it!-" Sui bounced happily.

"Thank you, Sui-chan." I said taking the cup and bowls from her. I bought a plastic bottle of iced coffee from the Net Super and poured it into the Mithril cup before taking a sip.

"Oh, it's still cold even without adding ice." Of course, I'd just poured it into the Mithril cup so I put it aside for a little while, planning to try it later.

"Sui wants to drink some bubbly-bubbly-." Seeing me drinking the iced coffee made Sui thirsty, it seemed. Voices came from behind me too. I thought you guys were already asleep? But no, when there's stuff to eat (or drink) on hand then they're awake as can be.

"Nuu, I'll have something to drink too." Fer announced, settling down watchfully beside Sui.

"Meeee tooooo!" Dora-chan started buzzing around overhead, keen not to miss out on anything.

Yeah yeah, cola for everyone. I bought a big bottle of cola from the Net Super, nice and cold and poured it into the Mithril bowls.

"I got Sui to make these for drinks like cola." I explained as I put the bowls down for everyone. "They're made of Mithril and that keeps the drinks cold."

"Well, it's still cold." Fer informed me telepathically as he slurped the cola from his bowl. Once it was empty (but not before, of course) he looked up at me. "Still, Mithril is supposed to be valuable, right? What sort of an idiot makes something trivial like a drinking bowl from Mithril?"

"Hahaha, you're not wrong big fella." Dora-chan burped politely.

"It keeps the bubbly-bubbly cold and sweet-" Sui-chan said consolingly. Thank you Sui-chan, I knew I could count on you. Just because it's Mithril it doesn't have to be a weapon. Now that I know it doesn't conduct heat I'll get Sui to make cooking utensils that can use that characteristic.

After drinking the cola, both Fer and Dora-chan went back to the beast stables and lay down to sleep. Sui-chan had crawled into her bag as I tidied up. I finished my iced coffee which was kept really cold by my Mithril cup. It worked really well, it seemed.

I slung Sui's bag over my shoulder and headed for the inn's stairs to go back to my room, sighing. Once I got there I'd still have one more thing to do before I could go to sleep myself. If I didn't pray to that bunch of ungrateful deadbeat Gods and placate them with offerings from the Net Super then the whining and moaning would be unbearable. It had gotten worse ever since I received the tenant store upgrade to Net Super, too. I sighed again, it wasn't something I could really put off any longer.

Ch 171 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 171 -- Roast Chicken


Right then, time to make dinner. What I had planned for tonight was a simple pilaf roast chicken. My parents made it sometimes when I was still at home. After I moved out I made it for myself once at Christmas for old time's sake and I enjoyed it so much it became a regular thing for me to make pilaf roast chicken on Christmas. For that reason I didn't forsee any problems making it in this world, and it's something I've been thinking about making ever since I bought the Black Magic Cooking Stove with its gigantic oven.

This world doesn't actually seem to have chickens but I've got something that will work the same (I think). A Cockatrice. I have a whole one left and as prepared by the Guild dismantlers it's just like a chicken, that is if a chicken was 1.5 meters long. Even the Gluttonous Trio will be full up after eating a "chicken" this big. Probably.

First the ingredients. I needed to buy stuff like herbal salt and frozen pilaf and a brush to apply oil so I opened the Net Super and started ordering before I got to work. I avoided a lot of bothersome preparation by buying frozen pilaf which I heated lightly in a big frying pan to defrost since I didn't have a microwave oven, the way I would have defrosted it it at home. Sure I could have made the pilaf from scratch but it would take a lot of time and the frozen stuff was just as good for this recipe. I rubbed herbal salt on the Cockatrice inside and out and when the pilaf was warmed through I packed it into the Cockatrice's body.

After filling it up with pilaf I stitched the carcass closed with a bamboo skewer and tied the legs together with cooking string to keep the shape before brushing the entire Cockatrice with olive oil. I put the completed Cockatrice on a giant sheet of baking parchment in the pre-heated oven. It just fitted, as the Black Magic Cooking Stove salesman had said. Yosh!

I baked the Cockatrice at 200 degrees for just under an hour, keeping a close eye on it as I was still a bit unsure of the oven's temperature settings. I opened the door frequently to brush the dripping fat over the skin, making it brown and crisp and about half-way through the baking process I turned the entire Cockatrice over to ensure it cooked evenly. I used another bamboo skewer to stab the giant bird and when the fat that ran out was clear I judged it was ready to eat. I took it out and removed the bamboo skewer and the string before admiring the results of my cooking. A whole roast chicken is a wonderful sight but a whole roast Cockatrice outdid it by far, and the smell! However I didn't have long to enjoy looking at the results of my hard work since I was distracted by the piteous voices of the staving waifs and orphans behind me.

"That looks delicious." Fer seemed appreciative.

"Hurry up and give me it." Dora-chan was hovering impatiently at Fer's shoulder, his muzzle quivering.

"It's such a big piece of meat- Sui wants to eat it quick-" Sui was pyonging enthusiastically.

Everyone's eyes were nailed to the roast "chicken".

"Hang on, I'll have to remove the meat from the bones first." I got to work, separating the meat and heaping the pilaf soaked in the bird's juices into dishes for my contracted monsters.

"Here you are." I said, putting the dishes down and stepping back quickly as the food started to disappear.

"Mmmm, this is really delicious." Fer said telepathically. You really think so? Well the way his dish was emptying was a good sign. Sure he liked Cockatrice meat when I cooked it as cutlets and such but baking it whole in an oven is a different flavour experience.

"The crispy outer skin is irresistable." Dora-chan chimed in. "The rice too, it's really tasty, very meaty." Ah, good. I liked the crisp skin too when I made roast chicken for myself, and it was good to hear the pilaf was savoury and delicious.

"The skin is crisp and the meat inside is tender and delicious meat juice comes out. This rice is also delicious because the taste of the meat is soaked into it- " Ah, gourmand Sui-chan likes everything about the roast Cockatrice. Baking it whole kept the meat from drying out and the pilaf has soaked up the taste of the meat, even though it was pre-prepared frozen pilaf rather than home-made. A success! Well, time for me to try some too.

Ooooh, I had to agree, but it's almost too delicious even if I say so myself. The skin is crisp, the flesh plump and juicy and the rice soft and flavourful, a wonderful mixture of tastes and textures, a real pleasure to eat.

Fer and Sui had seconds and extra seconds, and in the end only bones remained as I had half-expected. They made me promise to make it again sometime which I readily agreed to, it's a very simple dish after all. Fer would have to hunt another Cockatrice sometime though.

"Wobbly stuff, I want some wobbly stuff!" Dora-chan demanded after I had finished cleaning up.

"Dora-chan, it's called 'pudding'." I explained.

"Is that what you call it? Pudding, I want some pudding." Dora-chan flew in circles around my head. "I haven't had any today so it's two, remember."

I had promised them two sweets each day and, yes, they hadn't had any yet today so two sweets it was. I turned to Fer.

"You too?" Fer nodded impatiently. "Strawberry shortcake as usual?"

"Umu." So two strawberry shortcakes as usual for Fer.

"Sui wants something I haven't eaten before-." Sui wanted to try something different as usual. I opened up the Sanke tenant store in Net Super and chose two custard puddings and two strawberry shortcakes for Dora-chan and Fer and after some thought I selected an apple pie and a strawberry roll cake for Sui. They looked delicious on the dishes, at least for a few seconds before they were devoured. Fer and Dora-chan headed off to the beast stables to sleep but it was still too early for me to go to bed. Maybe Sui-chan could make something for me?

Ch 170 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 170 -- Anti-Dwarf Secret Weapon


"Bakayaro-! You want us to make WHAT? No way! Get lost!" I left the shop as the door was slammed shut behind me. I sighed to myself, that was the fifth blacksmiths I had tried and, thinking back on it, the most polite in their response to my request. The others had been much ruder.

After leaving the Adventurers Guild I had gone to the blacksmith's quarter of Doran to ask someone to make a barbeque stove for me. I had tried one store after another with no luck, getting turned down time after time in the same way. I'd open the door, I'd be welcomed then asked "What kind of weapon or armour are you looking for?" When I started to explain, "Well, it's not a weapon I'm looking for but this kind of thing..." the conversation would end at that point. Abruptly.

When you think about forges and blacksmiths in stories, Dwarves are what comes to mind and sure enough, all five of the blacksmith's workshops I had tried were run by Dwarves, just as pig-headed and short-tempered as you might expect. Still, they didn't have to shout at me quite like that, did they?

Ugor-san had warned me that the blacksmith's workshops in this city were mostly dedicated to making weapons and armour and that the owners were stubborn. I had to agree with him now I had visited some of them myself. Still, they were blacksmiths so they should be able to make things other than weapons and such. So what could I do? Ask the God of Blacksmiths to intervene on my behalf? I thought sourly to myself, as if that boozehound would do anything... then inspiration struck. Ah, booze!

The blacksmiths workshops were all run by Dwarves apparently and of course, Dwarves famously like to drink, if the stories I had read back in my own world were true. If I bribed them with alcohol I bought from the Net Super... he he he, a taste of something strong should do it. I quickly ducked into an alleyway out of sight so I could open Net Super and buy some booze straight away.

So, I thought to myself looking at the Net Super's drinks display, what sort of alcohol would be best? It would have to be strong with a high alcohol content. Whisky then, I decided, a little would go a long way. I didn't drink much whisky myself but I plumped for a famous Japanese whisky, 700ml in a very recognisable square bottle. I held it in my hand, thinking about the effects of items from Net Super in this world. Would it cause a dramatic change to the drinker? I decided to Appraise it just in case.


[ Whisky ]

Alcohol from another world. Expensive.
Reduces stamina by 2% for approximately 5 minutes.


Oh, whisky causes a decline in stamina, not an improvement? That was the first time I'd seen something from Net Super do that, a 2% drop for five minutes. Was it because it was booze, or was it because being drunk reduces someone's status? I didn't know but I'd discovered something new about Net Super which was good. However it wasn't a big change and it didn't last long so I decided it would be fine. I headed for the next blacksmith's workshop along the street, bottle in hand.

"Excuse me-" I said as I opened the door.

"Hmm, a customer?" An elderly Dwarf with a short but sturdy-looking body turned to me and growled. "What d'you want?" Yeah, that's exactly the sort of friendly welcome I had come to expect. Now to see if my secret weapon would work.

"I want to place an order ..." I started to ask.

"Oh, what kind of weapon d'you want?" he immediately interrupted, same as all the other Dwarf storekeepers I had encountered today.

"Well you see, what I'm looking for isn't a weapon, but ... could you just listen to what I've got to say please?" The elderly Dwarf had frowned as soon as I had said I wasn't looking for a weapon.

"It isn't a weapon? Armour then?"

"Well no, but I would be grateful if you could listen to what I've got to say.'' I repeated.

The Dwarf's frown deepened and he crossed his thick arms. "I'm not doing anything right now so I'll listen to you. I won't make it if it isn't a weapon or armour but I'll listen." Hooo, this was the politest Dwarf I had run into all day!

"Yes, that's fine." I said. I brought out a piece of parchment I had bought in advance and started to sketch my idea of a barbeque stove, explaining as I went. "You see, it's about this size and I put charcoal in a drawer here. I'd want you to make a hole, maybe a pattern of holes in the side so it will burn better. The mesh on the top will be removable, I'd grill meat on it." The design I had drawn up was a lot larger than the simple charcoal grill on the food stall we had visited in the morning since, well, I had Fer and company to feed. As I finished pointing out the details the elderly Dwarf harrumphed.

"...Haa, get out, get out!" the Dwarf's face grew red as he shouted at me. "If the other Dwarves heard I'd made something like this for you I'd get laughed at, I'd never live it down. Try someone else!"

As expected, he wasn't keen on the idea. "I've already been yelled at and turned away at five other stores today." I told him.

"What, you went to five other workshops before you came to my place?" the Dwarf harrumphed again. "Slow learner, ain'cha? There's no place around here that will take your order to make that, that THING." Well, I knew that, the blacksmiths in Doran were only interested in making weapons and armour but I had my anti-Dwarf secret weapon in my hand. Would he be able to resist it?

"Changing the subject, do you like booze?" I inquired. The Dwarf threw his arms out, inviting inspection.

"Look at me. I'm a Dwarf, in case you hadn't noticed." He obviously didn't have a high opinion of my intellect. "Of course I like to drink, no question about it." he explained as if to a child. Well, I expected that answer but I wasn't totally sure, it was a good idea to check.

"Well you see I have something special here..." I got a cup from my Item Box and held it out along with the bottle of whisky to the store owner. "This is a very rare kind of booze, extremely strong. I was wondering if it might suit a Dwarf's taste." The Dwarf's eyes fixed on the bottle in my hand and I saw him swallow a couple of times. I definitely had his attention now.

"Why don't you try some?" I cracked open the bottle of whisky and poured a generous helping into the cup. I saw his nostrils widen as the sweet alcoholic fragrance wafted from the cup as I swirled it around. He took the cup and peered into it then he lifted it to his lips and threw the contents back into his mouth.

"Gaaah, wow!" he exclaimed. "This booze, it's..." he blinked, licking his lips. "It's the best-tasting booze I've ever drunk!" Hehehe, my anti-Dwarf secret weapon seemed to be working perfectly. Time to close the deal.

"This booze is not sold around here because it is made in a remote location of a small country far from here." The Dwarf's eyes remained fixed on the bottle in my hand. "I have some more of this booze, not much though. If you accept my order then I'd include five bottles of it as an extra along with the price in coins." The Dwarf didn't think too long about my offer, not surprising given the way he had reacted when he tasted the whisky.

"...Ten. Gimme ten bottles of this booze, separate from the actual price and I'll make that thing for you." He crossed his arms again, staring at me and the bottle in my hand. Yosh! The whisky was an outstanding success.

"I'll give you 10 bottles, then. As a thank you for accepting my order, please take this one." I handed the bottle over to the Dwarf who quickly poured another cupful and downed it as quickly as the first one.

"Haaaaah, really tasty. I can't believe this booze is so delicious." he muttered. I hadn't lied, it really was made in a remote location in a small country far away, in another world actually. I wasn't a connoisseur of whisky myself but it had been a popular best-seller for a long time so I had figured it had to be really tasty.

"How long will it take to complete?" I asked the Dwarf who was starting to pour himself another cup from the bottle. He stopped and looked down at my drawing before thinking for a few moments.

"Ummm, three days. Come back in three days and it'll be ready."

"How much will it cost me?"

"It's a pretty big thing, lemme see..." he thought for a few moments more then said, "About 350 gold coins, including materials." That much wasn't a problem for me and I nodded.

"Thank you, please go ahead with my order. I'll come back three days from now."

"Oh, don't forget the booze." the Dwarf added. It was clear what he thought was the most important part of the deal. Dwarves really did like to drink, as expected.

"Don't worry, I won't forget." I said as I left the store. Fer and Dora-chan were asleep outside and Sui-chan was in my shoulder-bag as usual, also asleep of course.

"Hey, let's go back to the inn." I said telepathically to Fer and Dora-chan.

"Nuuu... are you finished?" Fer said grumpily.

"Fuuuah, finally?" Dora-chan added, flying up from the ground.

"Sorry you had to wait. That's me finished for the day. We can go back to the inn now."

"I'm hungry, let's get back and eat." Fer was already up and moving as I peered up at the sky. Was it really that late? But the sun was definitely sinking towards the horizon. I had spent more time trying to find a blacksmith that would make a barbeque stove for me than I thought. Ah well, it was sorted now so as I followed Fer I started thinking about dinner. What meat was left in the Item Box, what was I running out of? There wasn't much Orc General left but I still had plenty of Bloody Horn Bull and Wyvern in stock plus a lot of Orc meat from the dungeon and elsewhere. I still had about half of the Giant Tarepo left and of course the Cockatrices and the Rock Bird Fer had caught recently. Cockatrice, now that gave me an idea, remembering something the Black Magic Cooking Stove salesman had said to me. Could I make use of the big oven of my Black Magic Cooking Stove? I was pretty sure what I was thinking of making would fit.

Ch 169 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 169 -- Ugor-san Gets Extremely Angry (Again)


We soon arrived at the Adventurers Guild. I had found two nice baskets in the general store and had placed the pound cakes in them, ready to hand them over to Ugor-san and Elland-san. As soon as I made an appearance the Guild's staff hurried off to fetch Elland-san without me having to wait or even ask for assistance. It was a bit unnerving for someone like me to be treated as a VIP like this. Elland-san soon made an appearance and we went up to the now-familiar Guild Master's office on the second floor.

Once we were seated Elland-san said "Please wait for Ugor-kun to arrive." Elland-san looked somewhat dispirited, he wasn't even trying to ogle Dora-chan like he usually did. I heard him mutter "I told him I could deal with this myself. I've done it before when he wasn't around..." No, I could understand Ugor-san's feelings, you would try to dodge out of doing your job or mess things up with your selfishness. Best to wait for Ugor-san to get here, Guild Master.

Shortly after the office door opened and Ugor-san hurried in. "Thank you both for waiting." he said, throwing a hard glance at the depressed Elf sitting behind the big desk before he took his own seat and produced a large sheet of paper.

"Let's get on with business, Mukouda-san." he said, "I would like to pay you for the dungeon goods you delivered to us yesterday. Well, the details are..." Ugor-san ran a finger down the paper as he read out the items I was selling to the Guild.

"First there are 125 Orc skins for 1000 gold coins then there are 63 Lizardman skins for 630 gold coins, 102 Ogre skins for 2040 gold coins, 113 Troll skins for 2486 gold coins, 88 Minotaur skins for 1,672 gold coins, 21 small Ogre magic stones for 315 gold coins, 23 small Troll magic stones for 460 gold coins, 20 small Minotaur magic stones for 380 gold coins, 7 small Giant Killer Mantis magic stones for 147 gold coins, 15 vials of Paralyze Butterfly paralysis powder for 75 gold coins, 20 Wild Ape furs for 160 gold coins and a small magic bag for 280 gold coins." He stopped to glance up and down the paper again before announcing, "That makes a total of 9645 gold coins."

He tapped the paper with a finger before saying "Because the amount is so large I'd prefer to follow the example of the Merchants Guild yesterday and pay you with white gold coins and large gold coins. Is that okay with you Mukouda-san?"

When I nodded Ugor-san got out a large lockbox and counted out 96 white gold coins, 4 large gold coins and 5 gold coins, arranging them in piles of ten on Elland-san's desk. "Please confirm the amount," Ugor-san said as he put the last coin down.

I leant forward and counted them, "White gold coins 1, 2, 3 …… (Omitted) …… 96, yes, plus 4 large gold coins and 5 gold coins. Yosh." I looked up and nodded. "Yes, that's correct." I started putting them away in my Item Box, rather regretting the absence of those utilitarian sacks I normally received payment in. Ah well.

"Lately we've been able to secure a large amount of skins and magic stones thanks to you, Mukouda-sama." Ugor-san said with a smile.

"...But getting the Vasuki's fangs, the Manticore's Poison Stinger, the Gustave's fangs and spine would have been better..." came a whisper from the other side of the big desk. Ugor-san's darkening face turned towards his erstwhile superior.

"Did you have something to add, Guild Master?" he asked dangerously.

"I didn't say anything." Elland-san muttered. Really, Guild Master, did you really expect Ugor-san to not hear that? I waited for the explosion to come but I was disappointed as Ugor-san shrugged it off.

"Well, that's okay." Ugor-san settled back in his seat. "I wanted to have words with you when you purchased the Earth Dragon materials without consulting with me. I might have demurred over the expense you incurred but, as it turned out you were right and the Dragon blood and liver quickly sold for more than I expected." He shrugged. "In fact that extra cashflow enabled us to buy more of Mukouda-san's dungeon items today than we would have normally been able to afford."

Elland-san perked up at Ugor-san's words. "Yes, that's right." He nodded enthusiastically. "I did tell you that, didn't I? And I was right, wasn't I?" An avaricious smile spread over his fine Elvish features. "So are you ready to give me a budget to get the Dragon Sword made from that Dragon fang now, as a reward?"

Uh oh. As soon as Elland-san said that a vein started to throb on Ugor-san's temple. Bad move Elland-san, you just made Ugor-san extremely angry (again). I didn't understand Elland-san's obtuseness, after all he worked with Ugor-san every day, surely he would have learned not to aggravate him like that? I could only congratulate Ugor-san for his patience in dealing with his blundering superior day after day.

"Guild Master," Ugor-san said, thin-lipped, "You convinced me that the Guild would benefit from possessing a Dragon Sword made from a Dragon's fang even though I was somewhat reluctant. But!" he raised a finger. "We only have the funds to spare at the moment to purchase the necessary materials. Getting the sword made will cost a lot more, money we don't have yet. You don't seem to realise that the Guild's finances are limited." He sighed. "We'll need to consult with the blacksmiths here in Doran to determine which workshop can actually make such a sword, how much it will cost and so on before we can even begin to figure out where the money to pay for it is going to come from. It won't be cheap, or soon." Ugor-san gestured, indicating the office we sat in and by extension the rest of the building. "It takes a lot of money to operate the Guild and we have to earn that money first and foremost. Fripperies like having a Dragon Sword made to satisfy one particular Guild member's selfish desires come well down the list." He fixed the deflated Elf with a hard stare. "Wouldn't you agree, Guild Master?"

Ooooh, Ugor-san's argument left nothing for Elland-san to rebut. Excellent work, Ugor-san.

"No, no, no, that's not what I said." Elland-san replied weakly, "I just-"

Ugor-san held up a hand. "I didn't say the Guild could never afford to have the sword made in the future, it's just that right now all we can do is solicit bids from some of the larger blacksmith workshops to get an idea how much it will cost us. Really, Guild Master, sometimes you..."

Ah, it sounded like Ugor-san was going to deliver yet another sermon and Elland-san was slumping in his seat in resignation. I didn't want to sit through this even though Elland-san deserved the stern talking-to he was about to receive. I decided that intervening before Ugor-san could get going would be a good idea, after all Elland-san had been helpful to me in his own Dragon-obsessed manner and right now he looked like he could use being rescued.

"Ahem, Ugor-san?" I interjected. Ugor-san stopped abruptly and turned to me.

"Oh, excuse me Mukouda-sama." He looked down sheepishly. "I can't help myself when the Guild Master starts acting like this. I'm sorry." I totally understand, Ugor-san.

"No, apart from that I have a gift I want to give to you, Ugor-san and you too, Elland-san." I put the baskets with the pound cakes inside on the desk in front of them. "Here you are." As they lifted the lids and peered inside I went on to explain. "I thought the assistance Ugor-san provided me at the Merchants Guild yesterday deserved a reward, and I'm indebted to Elland-san for disassembling the Earth Dragon. They're a sweet sort of a cake, please enjoy them."

"Oh, are you sure?" Ugor-san asked, peering into the basket in front of him.

"Yes, please accept them."

"Thank you very much for this gift." Ugor-san smiled broadly. "My wife and children really like sweets." It seems that my choice of confectionery as presents was not a mistake.

"I like sweet things too." Elland-san said. "I'm very happy to accept this, I'll have some of it with tea right away."

Ugor-san scowled. "Guild Master, what's with this 'right away' business? Do you really have time for tea?" The vein on Ugor-san's forehead started to throb again. Not a good sign. "Surely you're not going to stop work to indulge yourself? There's a lot for you to be getting on with after all."

Elland-san quickly closed the lid on the gift basket and sat back, waving his hands. "No, no, I didn't mean right now as in, well, 'right now'. That would be the wrong thing to do, Ugor-kun. After finishing work right now, that's what I meant of course ha ha..."

Yes, you should work hard, Elland-san. You've got a lot of things to do to get ready for your trip to the Royal Capital after all, but for us we were done for the day and it was time for us to leave the Adventurers Guild. However Ugor-san had mentioned blacksmiths and their workshops earlier when the subject of Elland-san's desire to have a Dragon Sword manufactured came up and that gave me an idea. Could a blacksmith here in Doran make a barbeque stove for me? When I asked Ugor-san about this he explained that Doran was a dungeon city and nearly all of the blacksmith workshops here specialised in weapons and armour.

"Can they make anything other than weapons?" I asked.

Ugor-san shook his head. "In my experience the best blacksmiths are single-minded and quite stubborn about what they'll work on. I can't say for sure, you'll have to ask around and see for yourself."

Ah, so that's how it is? Well I supposed I could go to a few workshops and negotiate with the smiths directly if I had to. With that I said my goodbyes and left the Adventurers Guild, following Ugor-san's directions to the blacksmiths quarter in the city.