Thursday, 12 September 2019

Ch 155 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 155 -- The Demon Sword Caladbolg

“Weeeell," I continued, "I didn't put this particular item in the list I gave you earlier because it looked like the sort of thing that was going to be troublesome, you see and..." I stopped delaying the inevitable and reached into my Item Box. "Heave-ho..." I pulled out the Demon Sword Caladbolg.

“This was the drop from the dungeon boss Behemoth we defeated. It's called the Demon Sword Caladbolg, apparently..."

"Wha..." the handsome elf Elland-san sitting across from me broke into a loud coughing fit. "Cough, cough, cough." I waited politely until he had recovered and wiped his streaming eyes.

"De-, De-, Demon Sword?" He coughed again but his eye stayed fixed on the sword I held in my hand like I was holding a poisonous snake. I might have laughed at his over-reaction but it just confirmed to me this sword was going to be troublesome, or perhaps even dangerous. A moment or two later he had composed himself somewhat and continued.

"You see, cursed swords..." he said, his eyes still concentrating on the sword I held. "Given that Doran's dungeon has a high difficulty rating some people, including myself, thought there was a chance that there might be a cursed sword drop if it was defeated..."

As Elland-san went on to explain to me only four cursed swords were known to exist. The first, “Demon Sword Joyeuse” was said to have been brought back from a dungeon by a Hero chosen by a God 700 years ago. It was kept securely in the main Temple of the Holy Kingdom of Lubanov.

The second cursed sword, "Demon Sword Blutgang" was in the possession of the Geisler Empire. They took it from a dungeon in their territory about 400 years ago. It is said they sent 30,000 soldiers into the dungeon to acquire it.

The third cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Balisarda” owned by the Marbella Kingdom. The story is that about 300 years ago a party of S-rank Adventurers brought it back from some unknown dungeon and the Kingdom of Marbella bought it. The rumour is that it cost the Kingdom its entire annual budget to purchase it.

The fourth cursed sword was the “Demon Sword Arondight” which was in the possession of the Leonhart Kingdom. According to legend it was recovered from a dungeon in this country by Leonhart's first king (by the way, that wasn't the dungeon here in Doran, apparently).

I wondered who was the first king who had the ability to bring back a magic sword back from a dungeon. It sounded like quite a story which I wanted to hear when I had the time, I thought to myself, as Elland-san sat back and spread his hands. However I had my own problems to deal with first. This “Demon Sword Caladbolg” that I brought back from Doran's dungeon was going to be only the fifth cursed sword known to exist? "Troublesome" didn't begin to describe it, I decided.

"You said that all four of the magical swords I you told me about, they all belong to countries...?" Elland-san had been clear the cursed swords he had told me about were in the possession, not of Adventurers or Heroes, but various nations.

"That's right." he went on. "A cursed sword is a symbol of national power so any country that can get one will keep it in their possession.'' Oh. I looked down at the heavy sword in my hand. So what I'm holding right now is something any country, any ruler would desire, would pay any price to obtain. Oh dear.

“Oh, so would you be willing to buy it?” I asked desperately. If I sold it to the Guild then it wouldn't be my problem any more, right?

“Don’t be stupid." Elland-san blurted, his eyes wide in shock, then he shook his head. "Sorry, but we can't buy a Demon Sword. Its price, like I said, matches a country's national budget." Of course, you're totally right. Forget I even asked you, Elland-san.

"We can't buy it," he went on, "but perhaps you should think about trying to use it yourself? Any swordsman could only dream of wielding such a weapon." No, Elland-san, I'm not a swordsman. I looked down at the sword again. It was really too heavy for me to use comfortably as a weapon -- the Mithril shortsword Sui-chan had made for me was my limit, just about, and for some reason I didn't want some country or other to have the Demon Sword Caladbolg  as a symbol of their power and prestige. I'd let it sleep forever in my Item Box, I decided.

“Well no, Elland-san." I explained. "This sword is really too heavy for me to use properly.”

"Oh, is that so?" Elland-san mused. "Could I hold it for a moment?"

"Yeah, that's OK." I said, handing the sword over to him. Elland-san hefted it then pulled Caladbolg out of its scabbard.

“It's certainly a heavy sword but that doesn't necessarily mean you couldn't wield it." Elland-san stood up and swung Caladbolg experimentally. Of course he was a former S rank adventurer and swordsman so he made it look effortless. Me, on the other hand, I'd probably drop it on my foot or cut my own leg off if I tried.

“I think it's made of Adamantite.” I said off-handedly as he admired the dark blade.

"Cough, cough, cough!!!" Elland-san suffered his second coughing fit of the day. Remarkably he didn't drop Caladbolg as he did so. I attributed this to his expertise as a swordsman.

"A-, A-, A-, Adamantite, it's made of....?" he stuttered, staring at the blade again.

“That’s what the Appraisal said.” I confirmed. Was it so surprising that Caladbolg was made of Adamantite? Mithril was, if not common at least something people in this world were familiar with. I thought that Adamantite would also be rarer and more expensive than Mithril but was it THAT uncommon?

After Elland-san regained his composure (again) he explained. “Adamantite, they say, is a legendary metal that no-one can damage or deform..." He stared again at the sword in his hand, awe and wonder in his eyes. Ah, that's how it is in this world. That just confirmed my earlier decision to keep this sword in my Item Box forever.

“Well, it's no use to me so I'll just put it away in my Item Box for now." I said to Elland-san who handed the Demon Sword Caladbolg back to me (a trifle reluctantly, perhaps) but he nodded approvingly as I put it into its sheath and deposited it in my Item Box again, muttering "Maybe it's for the best." as I did so. Sleep well, Caladbolg-san. There might come a time when I could do something with it but for now I was in no hurry to ever take it out again.

I thought we were finished but Elland-san raised a finger as I got up to leave. “Oh, yes, there was something else I had to tell you. You have been promoted to rank A, Mukouda-san." I sat down again, rather abruptly. What? Surely I was C-ranked, it said so on my Guild card didn't it? Why had I been suddenly promoted?

"Eh, now I'm an A-rank?"

"Yes, you can't remain as a C-ranked Adventurer after conquering the dungeon here in Doran." Elland-san explained. Oh, so that's why. Elland-san confiscated my C-rank Guild card and handed me a shiny new gold card which confirmed my new A-rank to anyone who might see it. I accepted it with some reluctance knowing that the conquest of Doran's dungeon was not due to my own minimal efforts over the past couple of weeks. I had left all the real fighting in the dungeon to my contracted monsters, after all.

“So, how long will it take for you to decide which items to buy from me?” I asked Elland-san as I tucked my new Guild card away.

“I’m going to consult with the Deputy Guild Master and we should be able to let you know what we will be purchasing by the day after tomorrow." Elland-san shrugged. "I have to prepare to visit the Adventurers Guild headquarters, and the Royal Palace too, in the capital to report on what has happened as soon as possible, you see. It's really troublesome..." Elland-san muttered. "The senior officers in the Guild and the King as well want to hear all the details of the conquest of Doran's dungeon, the specific changes to the later levels and so on and I've been summoned to personally provide them with that information." He looked at me questioningly. "Of course, it would be a great help for me to have the Adventurer in question and his contracted monsters accompanying me on such a trip.”

I immediately shook my head. Nope nope nope. “No, I don't agree, Elland-san. Pardon me but I respectfully decline." Meeting with the higher-ups of the Adventurers Guild would be bad enough but I most definitely didn't want to go to the Royal palace. It wasn't just the stress involved in dealing with such important and high-ranking people, I was also worried that the secret of my Summoning from another world might leak out.

"Ah well, I understand." Elland-san nodded. "We were told that you prefer to keep to yourself, Mukouda-san and of course we have the order from the Royal palace instructing us not to try to compel you to do anything you don't want to."

Thank you, thank you, I was really glad the ruler of this country was someone who could be reasonable. Of course he didn't want to anger Fer and perhaps have his nation destroyed but someone less sensible and more demanding could have made things more difficult for me.

Elland-san didn't give up though. "Is there nothing I could say or do that might persuade you to change your mind?" he asked. "I don't want to travel to the capital by myself. If we were travelling together, Mukouda-san then that would mean Dora-chan would be with us and I'd really like that." Uh-oh, Elland-san's Dragon obsession was leaking out again as his eyes took on a faraway look.

"I wrote out a request for a long vacation, you know, I wanted to follow you and Dora-chan and the others into the dungeon..." He shook himself. "However the Deputy Guild Master tore up my vacation request form. Don't you think that's a terrible thing for him to do? He even threatened me with going on strike! ‘So, Guild Master, if you're not going to take your job seriously then don't expect me to cover for you' is what he said."

No, Elland-san, the terrible thing is you not doing your job. I think you have a hard time dealing with your boss, Deputy Guild Master. Still, Elland-san had been helpful and supportive, at least when he didn't have visions of Dragons dancing through his head so I decided to make him an offer he would appreciate.

“Well, we're going to be staying in Doran for another day or two since the purchase of drop items has to be finalised but then we'll be leaving." I said. "However, if we come across another Dragon then we'll bring it back to this city."

At my words Elland-san slammed his hands on the table and leaned over it, his face uncomfortable close to my own.

"Really? Is that a promise?" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

"Yes, that's a promise, Elland-san." I answered, wishing the handsome but mercurial Elf was more familiar with the concept of personal space. Making a promise like that was easy, really, since Elland-san had proven he could successfully dismantle a Dragon, a rare skill. The alternative to returning to Doran to have this exacting task carried out would be to leave any Dragon Fer subjugated in the future in my Item Box forever like the other permanent residents resting there.

"You promised!" Elland-san grasped my shoulders and I think he would have hugged me or worse if the table hadn't been in the way.

"Yes, yes, Elland-san, it's a promise." I agreed. I broke his grip with some difficulty and stood up as he sat back in his chair, a goofy expression on his face. "So, I'll come back to the Guild some time the day after tomorrow when the purchases have been decided. Until then..." I closed the door behind me quietly but Elland-san didn't notice, his mind clearly on other things. I made a mental note to myself, don't discuss Dragons with Elland-san again if I didn't want to spend a long time helplessly trapped in his presence.

Tuesday, 6 August 2019

Ch 154 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 154 -- A Much Put-upon Deputy Guild Master

After breakfast Dora-chan announced he wanted to eat pudding. "Yeah, yesterday's wobbly stuff. I want to eat it again." Dora-chan really liked pudding, it seemed.

"Sui also wants to eat cake-" Sui-chan added, pyonging around hopefully. They both liked sweet things. Well, it would be easy enough for me to indulge them but they'd just want more and more unless I laid down some rules. Eating too many sweets would be bad for their health, after all.

"Hmm, I will do it this time, but sweet things like pudding and cake are two per day, no more." I glanced around at Fer who was pretending not to listen but the drool around his jaws showed he was paying close attention. "This will apply to all three of you guys, Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan, OK?"

"Eh, just two-? Gimme a little more will ya?" Dora-chan pushed.

"Only two-?" Sui-chan asked plaintively. Both Dora-chan and Sui seem a little dissatisfied with the limit I was setting but I had to harden my heart.

"Two pieces a day is fine but no more." I insisted.

"All right, two pieces are fine." Dora-chan said after a second or two, giving in at least for the time being. I suspected this would be a battle I'd have fight again in the future but for the moment the victory was mine.

"Sui is good with two-" Sui-chan agreed, following Dora-chan's lead.

"I want to eat a wobbly thing right away." Dora-chan insisted.

"What does Sui want-?" Sui-chan paused, obviously thinking seriously about this important question. "Hmmm, Sui will have one as well, a cake but something different from yesterday's cake-".

"Give me that white one with the red fruits on top again." Fer added quickly, all pretence of disinterest gone in an instant. So all of them wanted a sweet after breakfast? That was fine, now that I had set the rules. I bought a custard pudding and strawberry shortcake at the Net Super's Sanke tenant shop and then after thinking a bit I got Sui-chan a a strawberry mousse cake.

"Here they are." I said after dishing them out.

"Ooooh, the wobbly stuff again, great!" Dora-chan's muzzle was caked with his long-awaited pudding as he messily gobbled it up.

"Umu." Fer ate his shortcake in a single bite, not bothering to savour its taste.

"Wow, this is something I've never eaten before. Oh, this is sweet and sour and delicious-!" The strawberry mousse cake seemed to be to Sui-chan's taste too.

Well, now that had everyone finished eating their after-breakfast dessert, how about we go to the Adventurers Guild?

* * * * *

When we arrived at the Adventurers Guild the staff hurried off to fetch Elland-san who arrived promptly to greet us before he led us up to his private Guild Master's office.

"So, can we buy your dungeon drop products now?" he asked, getting right down to business.

"Yes. But I should warn you there is a lot more than I thought..." I said.

"Oh really? First, tell me what sort of things you have to sell and I'll be able to determine what the Guild will be willing to buy from you." Elland-san had said earlier that the Guild wanted to buy all the skins that made up most of the drops we had collected but thinking about it the high-value drops like gems and magic items would be less likely to sell, at least straight away. I fumbled for the list I had made the day before and finally found it before reading it out aloud.

"Weeeell, let's see, there's Venom Tarantula poison sac x 3, Orc meat x 56, Orc testicle x 31, Orc skin x 125, Lizardman skin x 63, Ogre skin x 102, Ogre magic stone (small) × 21, Troll skin × 113 pieces ... ... (... omitted) ... ... and finally a magic detoxification necklace × 1"

I didn't include the ring of magic recovery in the list because I was already wearing it and not planning to sell it. There was also the little matter of the cursed sword Caladbolg. I wanted to think about that a bit more and maybe discuss it with Elland-san after the other drops had been dealt with. It was the sort of show-stopper that would derail our negotiations for selling the simpler items first. Even so, after I had finished reading out the very long list of drop items I had for sale Elland-san's mouth was hanging open. The combination of Elvish good looks and stunned expression on his face almost made me laugh out loud but I schooled myself.

After a few seconds he shook himself a little and his confident Guild Master face re-appeared. "Well, that's a tremendous amount, isn't it..." he muttered, deep in thought. Well, thinking back on what happened in the dungeon my three contracted monsters are strong and they gleefully slaughtered every monster they encountered so it's not surprising there were a lot of drops.

"I was in a party that cleared the first 29 levels of Doran's dungeon and we collected a considerable number of drops and magic items but, well..." Elland-san spread his hands. "What we brought back doesn't begin to approach your achievements, Mukouda-san."

"No no," I said, "Fer, Dora-chan and Sui did all the hard work. I just worked at collecting all the drops from the monsters they defeated." Okay, I fought a bit, well a little bit but it was all up to them, really.

"The majestic figure of Dora-chan..." That regrettably familiar expression came across Elland-san's face.  "I truly wanted to see him fight monsters in the dungeon. Alas, I was prevented from following you by the Guild's Deputy Master..." Tut tut, Elland-san. You would just have been in the way if you had followed us, never mind the extra work you would have imposed on Doran's Deputy Guild Master.

"Oh, that aside," Elland-san shook himself, returning to the business at hand. "About the purchases, I'm sorry but we can't buy everything, I hope you understand." Well the amount of items we were offering for sale was rather excessive, that was true. "But skin drops from the dungeon are always in high demand and we can buy most if not all of them. The Orc skins and Lizardman skins for sure and I would like to buy all of the Ogre skins too. I also want the Troll skins but... hmmm, I think I'll have to consult with the Deputy Guild Master to see if we can purchase them too." Ellan-san's face fell again. "The Deputy Guild Master was rather angry about me spending so much of the Guild's funds earlier."

Oh, was he really angry with you, Elland-san? Okay, I had received the money in question but it seemed it was because of Ellan-san's own desires in regard to the Earth Dragon's disassembly rather than a hard-headed business transaction.

"That's not a problem." I reassured the dismayed Guild Master. "Ah, I should add that we'll be keeping any of the meat that was on the list for our own consumption so you should disregard it for purchase, please." I had a sudden thought. "Ah, and another thing."

I pulled the small and middle-sized magic bags out of my Item Box.

"Hey, Fer." I held out the bags for him to examine. "Can your Appraisal skill tell if time passes inside these bags?" I had been wondering if time stopped inside these bags like it did in my Item Box. That time freeze feature was useful for all sorts of things like keeping cooked food hot and fresh but sometimes I wanted things to happen normally. Marinating ingredients like kaarage or other pickled foods, they took time to make properly, letting the meat steep in broth and sauce for hours. I could hurry things up by poking the meat with a fork before massaging it in sauce in a plastic bag but it was easier and better to make it and leave it to soak overnight, on the desk in my room at an inn when I slept for example.

I was hoping that if I made, say, pickled meat in miso and put it in the bag for storage then when I took it out later it would be the same as having it sit in a pot overnight. I could then transfer it to my Item Box, ready to use for cooking when I needed it even if I was travelling with Fer and company. Would Fer be able to judge that effect with his superior Appraisal skill?

"Well, let's see." Fer studied the bags for a moment. "Hummmm, it looks like time passes as usual for anything in these bags here from what I can tell."

 So for both bags time passed inside them as usual? I'd keep the middle-sized magic bag and offer the smaller one for sale then. As I put them away in my Item Box once again I noticed Elland-san was staring wide-eyed at Fer.

"What's wrong Elland-san?" I asked.

"Ah- Ah you see... that Fenrir, c- can it really use the Appraisal skill?" he stuttered.

Oh, so that was it. The Appraisal skill was a rare gift, usually only available to Heroes summoned from the other world like in the stories. I had got it myself by accident, sort of. Fer, on the other hand was no Hero (hah!) and hadn't been summoned like me.

"Ah, remember Fer's sort of a legendary monster." I explained.

"Sort of?" Fer grumbled telepathically. "What do you mean by 'sort of'?"

Would a true legendary monster agree to a life-long submission contract to someone like me just because he's a glutton? I thought very privately to myself.

"Oh, yes, that's true." Elland-san said finally. "A legendary monster like a Fenrir doesn't appear often so finding out he has the Appraisal skill was just a bit of a surprise to me, that's all."

Yeah, I had just about forgotten myself just how unusual my companions were, a Fenrir, a Pixie Dragon and a special Slime. To others they were powerful and dangerous monsters, to me they were bottomless appetites demanding to be fed immense quantities of delicious food three times a day (and snacks too now, I remembered). I pressed on with the business at hand though.

"In that case can you remove the middle-sized magic bag from the list of items for sale?" I asked.

Elland-san nodded. "The meat and the middle-sized magic bag. Are you sure you want to sell everything other than those items?"

"Yes, that's correct." I agreed. Now the purchases were out of the way it might now be time to discuss 'that'.

Friday, 19 July 2019

Ch 153 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 153 -- Minced Meat Dishes And After-Dinner Desserts

"Sorry to keep you waiting." I apologised straight away, knowing it wouldn't help but I'm Japanese so...

"Where were you?" Fer grumped.

"You're late again." Dora-chan chimed in.

"Sorry sorry. I'll make dinner straight away." The only apology those two would accept was food-shaped and came in a large bowl. Bowls. Right then, I had lots of Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull minced meat to hand thanks to the Mithril mincer Sui-chan had made for me so that was a start. What could I make that was quick and easy, well, how about filled omelettes? Melted cheese and aubergines would be good to go along with the minced meat too, I could alternate the two dishes. Yosh, let's get started. I opened up Net Super and started off buying onions, ketchup, cheese and meat sauce in cans before I switched over to the cookware section and bought some extra-large dinner plates.

I decided to make a simple omelette straight away and serve it quickly to my contracted monsters since they seemed a bit impatient. Chop some onions, fry in a frying pan with oil until they turn translucent, add the Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull minced meat and stir-fry them together after sprinkling some salt and pepper and adding some soy sauce and sugar, not too much. Once the meat was done I put it to one side to cool a little.

Now for the eggs. I melted butter in a hot frying pan, cracked in the eggs and coddled them around until they were starting to solidify then dumped in the minced meat on top. I got one of the large plates, used it to cover the frying pan then flipped it over and hey presto! One large, actually oversized minced meat omelette ready to eat.

"Yup, that looks good." I muttered, starting on the next two omelettes. I'd need three omelettes, topped with ketchup (of course!) and having the Black Magic Cooking Stove with its four really strong burners was a life-saver. I could only make two omelettes at a time though since stir-frying the meat used up one burner and cooking the eggs another. I had cooked a lot more meat into the omelettes than I would normally do for myself because, well I knew my contracted monsters really liked meat. I added the ketchup and put the oversized plates down for them and started on the next round of omelettes while they ate.

"Here, eat this while I make some more food." I said, turning back to the stove.

"Eggs and meat, huh? This is pretty tasty." Fer mumbled telepathically, his muzzle stuck deep into the omelette. Why did he have to mumble? I wondered as I worked on the next dish. Okay, his mouth is full but he's using telepathy...

"Ohhh, the eggs are runny and not overcooked." Dora-chan added.

"Eggs and meat, it's delicious-" Sui-chan said.

Everyone seemed to like the omelettes. For the next round I made minced meat with aubergines and topped with melted cheese. I started by peeling and halving the aubergines before frying Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull meat with a little salt and pepper. When the meat browned I added the aubergines and topped it all with meat sauce. I had to be careful, the sauce was quite strongly flavoured so I added it bit by bit and tasted it frequently as I stirred it into the mixture. When it was cooked I put the meat and aubergines into a large baking pan, sprinkled the top thickly with grated cheese and put it into the stove's oven. I judged it was ready when the baked cheese turned a light brown and then I took it out and served it onto three plates, just as the three gluttons finished their omelettes. I was getting better at this, I mused. Timing is important in cooking, of course.

"Here you are, be careful because it's hot." I warned them, a little too late in Dora-chan's case. Straight out of the oven the melted cheese was like napalm.

"Hot hot hot... huff huff, oh yeah, this is tasty..." He was blowing on the dish and then eating a mouthful, blowing and eating, in too much of a hurry to let it cool down a little but it was the sort of dish that tasted better when it was hot. There was a sudden gust of cold air from somewhere. What? I looked around and saw Fer using his Wind magic to cool his own serving of baked cheese over minced meat. That was one way to do it, I supposed.

"This will do nicely." Fer commented as he stuck his muzzle deep into the dish. "Ah, still hot... but it's delicious anyway."

Sui-chan only waited a few moments for her own serving to cool a little before ingesting her helping. It seemed she could deal with the hot food better than the other two which surprised me a little. Slimes were water creatures after all, weren't they?

"It's delicious because it's sticky hot." Sui-chan said. "So much meat, that's delicious too-" Sui-chan really likes cheese, of course.

Oh, I mustn't stop now, time to make more oversized omelettes for the next serving. After that I made more minced meat topped with grilled cheese, more omelettes and more minced meat then more omelettes then... finally everyone's dinner was over. Well, apart from my own dinner, a mouthful or two snatched between cooking """Seconds""" for the other three as usual. I had nearly finished eating when-

"Hey hey Aruji, is it time for Sui's reward yet-?" Sui-chan asked hopefully.

"Oh, wait a minute." I said, swallowing my final mouthful of minced meat and grilled aubergines.

"Nuuu, what's this about a reward?" Fer asked suspiciously.

"A reward, huh?" Dora-chan chimed in.

"Ah, well you see..." I started to explain but Fer and Dora-chan crowded me.

"So, this reward for Sui?" Fer pressed in.

"Yeah, what's it for?" Dora-chan was hovering right in front of my face.

"C'mon guys, you're too close." I said as I pushed them back. "Y'see, I had Sui-chan make a cooking item for me earlier and I figured she deserves a reward for doing it." As I explained I saw the expressions on Fer and Dora-chan's faces and swiftly changed gears. "Of course I'll give you two the same thing as well, OK?"

"So what kind of a reward is it?" Fer asked, his ears pricking up.

"Yeah, like the big guy said, whatizzit?" Dora-chan added, buzzing around my head even more furiously.

"It's cake." I answered.

"Cake, is that the white, fluffy sweet thing you offer to Ninril-sama?" Fer asked, licking his muzzle. Thinking about it, I'd given Fer cakes and baked sweets before and he'd enjoyed them, things like anpan and choco cornets.

"Yeah, you know I have a skill to get stuff from another world, right? I got a level up in that skill and it lets me order even more delicious cakes and sweet things than I could get before." I explained.

"Oh really?" Fer was definitely interested now.

"Sui-chan deserves something for making the cooking item for me and this is the perfect reward since she loves sweet things. Don't worry, there will be some for Fer and Dora-chan too of course."

"Hummm, I wasn't worried." Fer lied. Of course you weren't worried that something might escape your big stomach, Fer. Riiiight.

So, to business. I opened Net Super and selected the new Sanke store menu option. Let's see, which should I choose... well, it's a bit common perhaps but I couldn't resist the strawberry shortcake. Next, ohhh, they were holding a limited-time Matcha Fair, all sorts of cakes and sweets made with green tea flavourings. I was tempted but I knew Sui-chan didn't like bitter things so I moved on. The white chocolate cake, ohhh, and the blueberry tart too, yup that looked delicious and of course Sanke's signature dish, their world-famous custard pudding. I went back and added some matcha shortcake for myself as an afterthought since why should I do without? That would be sufficient, I decided and fed coins into the Net Super screen. A few seconds later a cardboard box appeared as usual.

I opened the box with some difficulty as all three of my contracted monsters were getting in the way to see what they were getting. Inside was another box with the cakes and pudding, carefully surrounded with cold-packs to keep them cold and fresh. I took out the cakes and put them on plates then unsealed the pudding which came in its own little tubs and put it out on a plate too. It got broken up a little but I figured that wouldn't affect the taste.

"Here you go." I said, putting the dishes down for the Impatient Trio.

"Umu." Fer eyed the dishes, obviously trying to decide which of the cakes to sample first.

"Oh, so this is cake? Lemme see what it tastes like..." Dora-chan had never eaten cake before, had he?

"Hooray-" Sui-chan had eaten cake before and was very happy, it seemed, to be given the chance to eat more.

After a few seconds of sampling the cakes and pudding...

"Umu, what's this really delicious thing that has red fruit on top of the white filling?" Fer mumbled. So Fer's favourite was the strawberry shortcake?

"W- w- what's this?! The wobbly stuff, it's sooo yummy. Gimme some more!" Oh, Dora-chan seems to really really like the pudding. I dished out more pudding for him but I expected he'd be satisfied with only one extra helping. Three servings of wobbly stuff would probably be too much for the Pixie Dragon. Probably.

"The cake I'm eating is sweet and delicious-! More, more, Sui wants to eat lots of it-!" Yeah, Sui-chan really likes sweet things. I put out one more serving of cake for her but that would be all, I decided. There would be other opportunities to indulge her sweet... uh, she didn't have teeth, her sweet... ummm, I gave up and turned my attention to my own dessert, a green tea shortcake from Sanke's limited-time Matcha Fair event. I needed coffee to go with this, black of course. I pondered just making it with instant coffee granules but black coffee? Nah. I opened up Net Super again and searched for... ah yes, here it is, drip-bag coffee. I selected an assortment pack and fed more coins into the Net Super interface to purchase it.

It's great there are such convenient things like drip-bag coffee now. When I want to drink black coffee it's so easy and quick to prepare, just follow the instructions on the side of the box and I couldn't go wrong. I positioned the drip-bag across the mouth of my cup using its little origami folding handles then I took hot water from my Item Box and slowly, sloooowly poured the water through the drip-bag, letting the dark coffee collect in the cup below. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee filled my nostrils with a comforting aroma. Wonderful. I took a first sip, oh yes, definitely more flavourful than instant coffee.

I bit into my matcha shortcake. It's an adult taste, bittersweet. I sipped more coffee, delicious, then another bite of the cake. Yosh, coffee goes so well with matcha sweets, doesn't it? I settled back to relax...

"Hey you, gimme more wobbly stuff!"

"Aruji-, Sui wants to eat more cake!"

Dora-chan and Sui, can't you be a little quieter, please? It seems Dora-chan had become addicted to pudding and Sui-chan's consumption of sweet things was making her somewhat hyperactive and demanding.

Speaking of sweet things and demanding behaviour reminded me of someone... Ah, Deplorable Goddess-sama. Oh dear. I wouldn't be able to keep the Sanke tenant store a secret and I was going to get pestered unmercifully by her when she found out. Ah, what a pain. The pleasures of matcha shortcake and drip-bag coffee turned to ashes in my mouth.

"Hey, you listening? Where's my wobbly stuff?"

"Sui wants to eat more cake-!"


Monday, 8 July 2019

Ch 152 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 152 -- A Lot Of Drop Items

"Hey hey, Aruji, what do you want Sui do do-?" Sui-chan pyonged excitedly as we reached the room, obviously eager to help out. Darling Sui-chan...

"Aaah, it's this thing..." I took the hand mincer from my Item Box. It rattled a bit as I pulled it out. It hadn't been like that when I bought it from the Net Super, I had just used it a lot to make minced meat to feed the Gluttonous Trio over the past couple of months and it was pretty much worn out.

"I want you to make this please." I said, handing the mincer to Sui-chan.

"Hmm, wait a minute-?" Sui-chan absorbed the mincer into her body to examine it.

"Can you make one like it but a bit bigger, Sui-chan?" I gestured with my hands, suggesting something about 1.5 times the original mincer's size and capacity.

"Well, this is big-." Sui-chan said after a while. "It's complicated, bits inside go spinny and whizzy and choppy... but Sui will try her best." Ah, making the various parts inside the mincer would cause her problems, they'd have to fit properly and work afterwards, turning and cutting the meat. The Mithril knife and short sword she had made for me were simpler items, just single pieces of metal.

"Ah, I see. Well, do your best please." I passed Sui-chan some Mithril ore which she ingested. A new mincer was my number-one priority when it came to making cooking utensils. If it was made of Mithril it would surely be very strong and not wear out and the spinny and whizzy and choppy bits inside would be very sharp so it should be easier to use. My arm got tired turning the handle of the original Net Super mincer, I hoped a Mithril mincer would be less work.

A Mithril cooking knife is TOO sharp, if my hand slipped I'd lose fingers and the blade would cut through any sort of chopping board I could get hold of so I had given up on that idea, but the mincer's sharp parts would be inside its Mithril-metal body so that shouldn't cause a problem.

My next project for Sui-chan would be a Mithril frying pan, one bigger than the largest frying pan the Net Super sells. It's not really essential but it would be nice to have a bigger one to use sometimes. I thought about a real commercial kitchen-sized stock pot, bigger than the half-sized ones I had bought from the Net Super but such a pot on the Black Magic Cooking Stove's burners would be quite tall and it would be difficult to stir its contents since the lip would be so high. The half-sized stock pots were just the right size for my needs, it turned out and I had plenty of them anyway.

After that, hmm, I'd have to give it some thought but there was no hurry. I'd just be happy if Sui-chan could make things for me. She's sooo cute... and as a reward I'd get her lots of cakes from the Sanke tenant shop, I decided.

I left Sui-chan working away while I started sorting through all the drop items from our dungeon explorations. Boy, there were a lot of them... I began by going through all the skins I had collected, starting with the most common ones. Let's see, Orc skins - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ......... 123, 124, 125 skins. 125 Orc skins in total, that's a lot. Next would be Lizardman skins? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ...... 61, 62, 63 skins, is that all of them? So 63 Lizardman skins, half the number of Orc skins. Ogre skins, there were a lot of them too, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, .......... 100, 101, 102 pieces. Oh, more than a hundred Ogre skins, that's a lot too. Trolls next, I remembered there had been a lot of Trolls in the Giant Zone between the 21st and 25th levels and they usually dropped a skin so 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ......... 111, 112, 113 skins? More than a hundred skins again. I had lost track of the drops I had been collecting while we had been travelling through the dungeon's levels so the actual numbers were a surprise now I could sort through the piles of different skins and count them properly. I continued counting and organising drop items as the morning wore on then --

"Aru-ji, I'm hungry-" Sui-chan interrupted.

"Oh, sorry sorry. It's lunch time, of course. Let's go eat with Fer and Dora-chan." I said.

"Ah, Sui's not finished yet-"

"Oh, that's not a problem." I had expected making the mincer would take Sui-chan quite some time, what with all the spinny and whizzy and choppy bits inside. "It's okay to stop for a bit to eat lunch."

"Okay-? Well then, I'll make it more after I eat food-." Sui-chan pyonged off the bed and followed me down to the beast stables where Dora-chan and Fer were waiting patiently for me. Not.

"You're late." Fer complained.

"Really late." Dora-chan added. Both Fer and Dora-chan seemed a bit grumpy.

"Sorry sorry." I apologised. "Please forgive me and I'll make something special for you."

"Ooooh, the Earth Dragon dish in yesterday's dinner was good."

"Really good! It was so delicious!"

Last night's dinner ended with grilled strips of Earth Dragon meat in yakiniku sauce over rice. Everyone liked it and it was definitely delicious, I felt my mouth watering at the memory of how it smelled when I was cooking it, how it tasted...

"So then how would everyone like some Earth Dragon meat in yakiniku sauce?" I suggested.

* * * * *

Several bowls of Earth Dragon grilled in long-time best-seller yakiniku sauce over rice, a much better-natured Fer and Dora-chan were taking a nap. Sui-chan and I went back up to the room to start work again, me to continue sorting through the drop items and Sui-chan to continue working on the mincer she was (hopefully) making for me. It had been a revelation to discover she could temporarily pause her Smithing skill and eat food then continue afterwards without problems.

"You know, I had no idea there was this much..." The sheer quantity of our haul amazed me, I kept finding things I had forgotten about as I pulled one drop item after another out of my Item Box. It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, thirty dungeon levels full of defeated monsters... I pushed forward, determined to get it all done today.

"Hmm, I've finished..." I had finally reached the end and I could sit back. I looked over the list of drop items we had accumulated from our successful conquest of the Doran dungeon. It was... impressive.

Venom Tarantula Poison Sac × 3
Orc meat x 56
Orc's Testicle × 31
Orc skin × 125
Lizardman skin × 63
Ogre skin × 102
Ogre's Magic Stone (small) x 21
Troll skin × 113
Troll's Poison Talon × 48
Troll's Magic Stone (small) x 23
Minotaur meat × 42
Minotaur's Horn × 49
Minotaur skin × 88
Minotaur's Iron Axe × 15
Minotaur's Magic Stone (small) x 20
Orc King's Testicle × 1
Red Ogre's Magic Stone (medium) x 1
Spriggan's Magic Stone (large) × 5
Giant Killer Mantis Wolf x 38
Giant Killer Mantis Magic Stone (small) x 7
Murder Grizzly Fur × 21
Murder Grizzly's Magic Stone (large) × 3
Cockatrice meat × 10
Cockatrice Feather × 7
Rock Bird meat × 6
Rock Bird Beak × 10
Rock Bird Feather × 13
Paralysis Powder of Paralyse Butterfly × 42
Giant Dodo meat x 3
Giant Dodo Wings × 9
Giant Centipede's outer shell x 3
Giant Centipede's Magic Stone (large) × 2
Wild Ape Fur × 61
Killer Hornet's Poison Stinger x 286
Killer Hornet's Royal Jelly × 1
Vasuki's Fang × 1
Vasuki skin × 1
Vasuki's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Manticore skin × 1
Manticore's Poison Stinger × 1
Manticore's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Gustave's skin × 1
Gustave's Fang × 1
Gustave's Spine × 1
Gustave's Magic Stone (oversized) × 1
Giant Sand Scorpion's Poison Stinger × 6
Giant Sand Scorpion's Magic Stone × 3
Sandworm teeth x 8
Sandworm Magic Stone (large) × 4
Death Sidewinder skin × 7
Death Sidewinder Poison Sac x 5
Death Sidewinder Magic Stone (large) × 3
Giant Sand Golem's Magic Stone (Oversized) x 1
Behemoth skin × 1
Behemoth's Magic Stone (Super Extra Large) x 1
Behemoth (dungeon boss) treasure chest x 1
Mimic Treasure Box (Small) x 1
Mimic Treasure Box (Large) × 2

Treasure chest drops, jewellry
  Ruby (small grain) × 1
Emerald (small) × 1
Aquamarine (Small) × 1
Garnet (small) × 1
Amethyst (small) × 2
Peridot (Small) × 1
Gold ingot x 1
Imperial Topaz (medium size) × 1
Sapphire (medium size) × 1
Alexandrite (medium size) × 1
Diamond (large grain) × 1
Diamond (medium size) × 2
Diamond (small grain) × 2
Yellow diamond (large grain) × 1
Diamond ring × 1
Tanzanite Necklace x 1

Magic items that were in treasure chests
Magic bag (small) × 1
Magic bag (medium) × 1
Magic Recovery Ring × 1
Detoxification necklace × 1
Cursed Demon sword Caladbolg
        (from Behemoth's treasure chest drop)

Laid out in black and white like that, I was really surprised just how much there was but, really, I shouldn't have been. Fer, Dora-chan, and Sui-chan were defeating dungeon monsters bam bam bam, boss rooms full of A-rank and B-rank opponents wiped out in a few seconds. All I needed to do, all I could really do to assist them was just collect the drops afterwards.

Elland-san had said he would take all the skins but the rest of it, I didn't know... and there were more jewels than I thought. I'd discuss this all with him later, but now I was done. Yosh.

Just then, "Aruji-, it's ready-" Sui-chan announced.

"Oh, you're finished too?" Good timing. Sui-chan extruded a gleaming mincer, a bit larger than the one I had bought from the Net Super. It looked really good and I decided to give it a trial run right away. First of all, Orc General meat... Oh wow, this mincer is amazing! I put the meat in and turned the handle but it was so light, it took nearly no effort as the minced meat poured from the mincer's opening and because it was bigger more minced meat came out for each turn of the handle. Next, Bloody Horn Bull meat, just the same, light and easy to operate and lots of minced beef coming out. I kept turning and turning the mincer's handle, delighting in how effortless and smooth it worked... I stopped suddenly, looking at the immense piles of minced meat I had produced while I was in a daze. Oh.

"Aruji, what's wrong-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I got lost there. This mincer Sui-chan has created, it's wonderful! Sui is amazing! Thank you so much." I said as I put the minced meat away in my Item Box along with the Mithril mincer.

"Wow, Aruji praised me-. Sui's so glad- " Sui-chan was happily pyonging around the room.

"Oh," I said, realising what time it was, "Fer and Dora-chan will start getting angry again if I'm late making dinner for them. Let's go, Sui-chan."

"Unh-" Sui-said as we headed for the stairs.

"Oh, and Sui, I'm looking forward to giving you something good to thank you for making the mincer after you eat your dinner."

"Something good-? What is it, aruji-?" Sui-chan asked.

"Just wait until we've finished eating dinner, OK?" I said.

"Okay-" Sui-chan agreed happily.

Wednesday, 3 July 2019

Ch 151 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 151 -- Tenant

After finishing breakfast I decided to check everyone's Status. We'd beaten all the level bosses of Doran's dungeon and even polished off the final boss, Behemoth so we must have picked up some levels and status boosts. First up I checked Fer's Status.

[ Name ] Fer
[ Age ] 1014
[ Type ] Fenrir
[ Level ] 921
[ Stamina ] 10003
[ Magic Power ] 9637
[ Attack Power ] 9275
[ Defence Power ] 10001
[ Agility ] 9839
[ Skill ] Wind Magic, Fire Magic, Water Magic, Earth Magic, Ice Magic, Lightning Magic, Sacred Magic, Barrier Magic, Claw Slash, Physical Strengthening, Physical Attack Resistance, Magic Attack Resistance, Magic Power Consumption Reduction, Appraisal, Battle Enhancement
[ Protections ] Wind Goddess Ninril’s Blessings, War God Vulcan's Blessings

O- oh? Fer's level looks about 10 points higher than when I appraised him before the 26th level boss fight... Fer had mentioned once that the higher someone's level is, the harder it is to increase it but well, the dungeon boss was Behemoth. His strength and defence exceed 10,000 too. Was there anyone, any monster who could go up against Fer the way he was now? I supposed being that strong wasn't a bad thing, not like I would know anything about that personally of course ha ha.

Next up is Dora-chan.

[ Name] Dora-chan
[ Age ] 116
[ Type ] Pixie Dragon
[ Level ] 160
[ Stamina ] 1092
[ Magic Power ] 3223
[ Attack Power ] 3115
[ Defence Power ] 1057
[ Agility ] 3893
[ Skill ] Fire Magic, Water Magic, Earth Magic, Wind Magic, Ice Magic, Lightning Magic, Recovery Magic, Bombardment, Battle Enhancement
[ Protections ] War God Vulcan's Blessings

Ohhhh... Dora-chan's level has also increased, maybe by about 30 points or so. He fought Behemoth too, of course as well as a lot of the level bosses and high-ranking monsters. All his Status points exceed a thousand now, a big boost. Next I looked at Sui's Status. She seemed to have grown the most.

[ Name ] Sui
[ Age ] 2 months
[ Type ] Big Slime
[ Level ] 88
[ Stamina ] 1489
[ Magical Power ] 1467
[ Attack Power] 1460
[ Defence Power ] 1464
[ Agility ] 1491
[ Skill ] Acid Bullet, Restorative Medicine Creation, Growth, Multiplication, Water Magic, Smithing
[ Protections ] Water Goddess Rusalka's Blessing, Blacksmith God Hephaestus' Blessing

Oh, that's a lot of levelling up she's achieved since I last looked, probably due to fighting Behemoth and the other big battles against strong monsters like the assorted S-rank bosses in the later dungeon levels.

All my contracted monsters are amazing. Now it's my turn, I suppose. My Status is visible when I'm using Net Super but I don't pay much attention to it since I'm usually hungry or selecting offerings for certain Deplorable-samas and I want to get finished and go to sleep. So, Status...

[ Name ] Mukouda (Tsuyoshi Mukouda)
[ Age ] 27
[ Job ] A person from a different world who got caught
[ Level ] 20
[ Stamina ] 280
[ Magic Power ] 273
[ Attack Power ] 254
[ Defence Power ] 252
[ Agility ] 232
[ Skill ] Appraisal, Item Box, Fire Magic, Earth Magic, Familiar, Perfect Defence
[ Contracted Monsters] Fenrir, Big Slime, Pixie Dragon
[ Unique Skill ] Net Super (+1)
[ Protection ]  Wind Goddess Ninril's blessing (small), Fire Goddess Agni's blessing (small), Earth Goddess Kishar's blessing (small)

Okay, my level is up, but it's not as much improved as everyone else. Well it's not a surprise, I didn't get involved a lot with the level boss fights and I stayed well back from Behemoth. I wasn't really expecting much of an improvement... actually, I'm lying, I was expecting a big increase, I got to the final level of the dungeon so I hoped it would be better than it is. The difference in improvement between myself and the other three is pitiful, really. Safety first is my motto, but yeah.

Hold on though, I didn't notice yesterday but there's a (+1) beside my Unique Skill of Net Super. What's that? If I select it by touching the (+1) I get...

[ The Unique Skill Net Super 'Tenant' has been unlocked. Please choose from the following... MacDonalds / Sanke ]

Huh? W- what just appeared? 'Tenant'... that's a store within a supermarket, selling specialised items or offering franchised food -- MacDonalds, for example. So if I chose that one I could order junk food through the Net Super? Hmmm, it's been a long time since I ate junk food but the other choice, Sanke -- that's a cake shop with Imperial connections, wagashi confectioners who supplied the three Tokugawa clans...

I saw Sui bouncing around me. Sui really likes sweet things. "Hmm," I asked her, "Does Sui like sweet things?"

"Sweet thing is pudding or cake? Umm, Sui looooves sweet things-" Of course she does. That's it decided, I'll go with the tenant shop that supplied the three Tokugawa clans with sweet things. Sui-chan is healing, it's the obvious choice. I touched 'Sanke' on the Net Super display.

[Tenant agreement with Sanke? YES / NO]

Oh, it's asking if I'm sure. I looked at Sui-chan, of course I was sure. I touched YES.

[You made a tenant agreement with Sanke. The next tenant availability will be at level 40. We look forward to your next visit. ]

After displaying this message for a few seconds it returned to the usual status screen where the (+1) beside the Net Super had disappeared. I stared at the screen, trying to figure out what was going on. I would get to choose another 'Tenant', another in-store shop when I reached level 40, it had said. Did that mean I got this first 'Tenant' because I reached level 20? I didn't expect Net Super to change at all, this was a real surprise since it was a Unique Skill. Fer had said some Skills never evolved or improved, things like Item Box but, well, my Net Super had a 'Tenant' now. I should really check it out, shouldn't I? I opened Net Super and, let's see, yup there was 'Sanke' in the first menu. I chose it and, ohhhh, my mouth started to water at the assortment of cakes and baked sweets that appeared, the sorts of wagashi and cakes you might see displayed in a high-class confectioners back in Tokyo.

I manfully resisted the temptation to start pumping gold coins, no, large gold coins into the Net Super interface. I had other things to do first but later, oh yes later, I would be buying cakes and sweets from my Net Super's tenant store.

"Fer, Dora-chan, I'm going back to the room right now and I'm going to be busy sorting through the drop items."

"Okay. Don't forget lunch." Fer reminded me unnecessarily.

"Yeah, lunch." added Dora-chan.

"I won't forget." I told them. "Sui-chan, I've got something I'd like you to do for me so can you come with me?"


I wanted Sui-chan to make something for me while I sorted through all the drop items we had collected. I had been using the one I already had a lot, overusing it really and it was likely to break soon. I could buy another one in the Net Super of course but if Sui-chan made it from Mithril then it would be a lot tougher, and she could make it bigger too, make it easier for me to use. We headed back to our room so I could show it to Sui and ask if she can make it. I was pretty confident she wouldn't have a problem.

Sunday, 30 June 2019

Ch 150 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 150 -- Offerings, Delayed

Right then, now we had returned from the dungeon it was time for me to make offerings to the Gods and Goddesses. "Ehhh, can you hear me?" When I called out I received an immediate reply, or rather several overlapping complaints and demands which amounted to the same thing.

"Oh oh oh, I've been waiting ever so long you know."

"You've finally returned, have you?"

"C'mon, I'm dying of thirst here."

", quick"

"Ooooh, I'm tired of waiting."

"Where were you? Booze, booze, hurry hurry."

......Well, it looks like they were all eagerly waiting for me to return safely. Nice to be wanted, I suppose.

"You should hurry up and give me what I want, you know!" Ah, Deplorable Goddess-sama, how wonderful it is to hear your screeching voice once again. How I've missed it ringing in my ears these past ten days... "You, I saw you eating that 'Ice Cream' food in the dungeon! What is it?! Why did you hide such delicious sweetness from me! I want to eat it too you know!!" So Ninril-sama had been keeping a close eye on me, it seemed. Little Miss Nosey-Parker-sama can't resist snooping on me, can she?

"Yes yes, I understand." I agreed. The sooner I placated her and got her offering sorted the better. "Since Ninril-sama will want sweets as usual I'll add some ice cream to the offerings."

"That's right, you know." Ninril-sama agreed smugly. "Sweets as usual and don't forget the dorayaki, of course."

Yeah yeah, I got you. I opened Net Super and picked out some ice cream first. This one aaaaand... this one? A six-cup family pack with three different flavours of soft-serve ice cream and another family pack of six chocolate-coated ice cream bars. I bought dorayaki and other cakes and confectionery up to the limit of three silver coins and put them in the cart.

"Next please." I announced, thinking if I ever returned to my own world and needed to find a part-time job then I'd be a shoo-in for a konbini sales clerk position...

"That will be me." says Kishar-sama. "That expensive cream you offered last time was soooo good! Just as you said it had a rich variety of ingredients. Can you send me an expensive lotion just like it, please?"

Fuhaha, she was acting just like my elder sister, becoming addicted to more and more expensive cosmetics and on top of that I'm supposed to make recommendations about something I have no real information about? How would I really know how well these creams and lotions work, after all... Well, if it's got a big price tag then I suppose it's going to be better quality, like wagyu domestic beef costs more than discount meat in the supermarket chiller.

Lessee, I searched Net Super, looking up my purchase history to find the name of the beauty cream I had bought for Kishar-sama last time. Sure enough there was a matching lotion, three silver coins for a single small tube which I put in my shopping cart for her. I wondered if my sister would have settled for something that cost that little, I could see other items on the Net Super's "recommended" pages priced a lot higher. It would probably not be a good idea to let Kishar-sama know I was comparing her spending habits to my sister's, I decided. The Net Super's range of beauty products seemed to be a bit limited though compared to the range of items I had seen my sister purchase. A real cosmetics store would carry a wider range of more expensive items, I supposed but in this world I only had access to what the Net Super had on offer, of course.

"Next is...?"

"It's me." said Agni-sama, taking her usual place in the queue. "I want booze of course, different types like the last time. Whatever you choose is okay by me." Booze, of course. This time I chose a lot of foreign alcohol for her, beers as well as wine and a bottle of American whiskey to make it up to 3 silver coins worth.

"Next..." That would be Ruka-sama, of course.

"Food and sweets." came her oddly child-like voice. "Oh, and I want to eat ice cream too."

Ah Ruka-sama, I'm totally out of pre-cooked food so I'll have to get everything from the Net Super this time. I ordered up the same ice-cream selection as I had chosen for Deplorable-sama earlier then added beef croquettes and ham cutlet, fried chicken, stir-fried shrimp in chili sauce, macaroni au graitin and completed her offering with the usual bread and confectionery to make it up to three silver coins. Done. Next up would be the boozehound double-act...

"Hephaestus-sama and Vulcan-sama, you're next." I said somewhat brusquely, eyeing the soft futon on the bed where Sui-chan was fast asleep. Soon, soon...

"Yep, it's our turn." Hephaestus-sama said. The two Gods co-operated to get what they wanted from my offerings and shared their spoils amicably, unlike the four bickering Goddesses. "I want something like last time, other world guy. Whisky for my share. War God here says he wants vodka."

"Oh, that vodka booze is really good to drink." Vulcan-sama chimed in. "Really hits the spot, it does."

Oh, these two guy-samas really like to drink, they pour it down their throats like I would drink a cup of tea. I mostly drink beer myself but I sometimes have stronger drinks, vodka mixers usually. Drinking the stuff straight like these two did wasn't to my taste but we're all different, I supposed. I searched the Net Super's listings and found three reasonably-priced bottles of whisky from different places around the world and added them to the cart before looking through the vodkas on offer. There weren't that many though but I found two bottles of vodka, one from Russia and one from Sweden that fit the price limit and added them to the cart. Done. I pushed coins into the Net Super's interface until the bill was paid and a large clinking cardboard box materialised in front of me.

I arranged my usual set of cardboard altars (I had scribbled the name of a God or Goddess on the front of each altar using a marker, just in case using the wrong altars might annoy the Deplora- uh, deities in question) before sorting out the delivery and piling each set of offerings on the correct altar. "Oh yeah Ninril-sama and Ruka-sama, ice cream is like ice and will melt if it isn't kept cold." I added.

"I understand, you know."

"... (nodding vigorously)"

"That's okay then, Gods and Goddesses, please receive my offerings." I said tiredly, watching the items on the cardboard altars disappear to an accompaniment of loud cheers and girlish squeals (ah, Kishar-sama...?) The loudest voice was clearly Hephaestus-sama's.

"Yahoo! Booze, booze, booze at last! Been a long time since we got any, hey War God?"

"You said it, Heffy. Today's the day we drink plenty, you betcha." his companion replied.

You're going to party as soon as you get alcohol? That's... I shrugged as the voices died away. It would be better for them to take their time and not drink it all immediately but I didn't care, it was out of my hands and I doubted any of them would take my advice anyway. I yawned and stretched before putting the altars away in my Item Box for the next time I made offerings. I was worn-out and decided to just go to bed and leave everything else for tomorrow. The dungeon drops needed counting and listing for sale and that was going to be a pain, especially that sword... Bed, bed, bed. I moved Sui-chan over and I was asleep ten seconds after I lay down on the futon.

Friday, 28 June 2019

Ch 149 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 149 -- Long-Time Best Seller

Because we had been trapped by Elland-san for so long as he dragged the details of our dungeon exploration out of me we had all missed lunch, and now it was time for dinner. We hurried back to the inn to eat while the Gluttonous Trio bitched and moaned about how they were starving to death and I should feed them right now, you hear and...

Something quick and easy to shut them up, I decided. I still had one meal's worth of cooked rice left in my Item Box so it was going to be a rice bowl with meat again, but I'd change the meats around and add some sauce and dressings for variety's sake.

I opened up Net Super and bought daikon radish sprouts and lots of ready-made yakiniku sauce, my personal favourite of the assorted grilled meat sauces you can buy. I've tried most of the others but this particular one, a long-time best seller hits the spot for me, sweet and rich with a taste I never get tired of.

I started with Bloody Horn Bull meat, cut somewhat thicker than usual for stir-fry so it would remain a bit rare in the middle after I cooked it quickly in oil in a very hot frying-pan. Once the meat was seared on all sides and properly sealed I added the yakiniku sauce and stirred it in to coat the meat pieces, and done, super-easy like I said. Half-fill three deep bowls with cooked rice, top them off with generous amounts of the sauce-coated meat and a garnish of raw diakon sprouts, put them down and step quickly back to avoid being trampled in the rush as Fer, Dora-chan and Sui-chan launched their simultaneous attack.

 Wow, they're really hungry, I thought to myself as I started cooking the next serving. It was basically the same dish but this time I used Wyvern meat instead of Bloody Horn Bull. I had the freshly-loaded rice bowls ready just in time for the three-fold call of """Seconds""" to resound -- even little Dora-chan was not full up after his first helping, having missed lunch earlier. There wasn't quite the same rush to the feeding trough this time and they slowed down enough to notice details about what they were eating.

"Mm, this is a different kind of meat." Fer said telepathically, his muzzle deep in the dish before him.

"Yeah, the previous meat was Bloody Horn Bull, I made it using Wyvern meat this time round." I explained.

"This sauce doesn't go well with the Wyvern meat." Fer complained but I noticed he didn't stop eating it. "It was great with the other meat, the Bloody Horn Bull meat." I sighed, thinking that Fer had developed quite picky tastes in the few months I had known him considering he had spent the previous thousand years eating meat raw and bloody.

"Any kind of meat tastes superb when cooked with this sauce." I retorted, defending my choice of yakiniku sauce to go with the Wyvern meat, or any meat really, even lesser-quality meat...

"Well then, let's put that to the test." Fer said, pushing his empty bowl towards me with his muzzle. "I want Earth Dragon meat next." You're wanting what? We had only eaten the Earth Dragon meat as steaks, cooking it in sauce and serving it over rice was almost sacreligious...

"You're going to eat THAT meat?" Dora-chan interrupted. "I'll have some of that as well."

"Sui will eat too-"

They all knew how good the meat of the Earth Dragon tasted, but I was intrigued by the idea and suddenly wanted to try eating it myself with my favourite yakiniku sauce. Hmmm... So, I made Earth Dragon grilled meat rice bowls with long-time best seller yakiniku sauce for the Gluttonous Trio and myself (naturally). "Here it is." I said, putting down a rice bowl topped with Earth Dragon meat and sauce for all three (Dora-chan's bowl was smaller than the others).

We had already eaten substantial amounts of Bloody Horn Bull meat and Wyvern meat, I thought I was full up but just looking at my own dish caused me to salivate, the sauce-coated Dragon meat piled thickly on top of the glossy white rice, and the smell... I couldn't help myself and started to dig in, munch munch munch oh my...

I thought the Dragon steaks I had eaten before were the best things ever but the combination of the yakiniku sauce and the rice magnified the taste of the grilled Dragon meat. Before I could think to slow down and savour each mouthful my bowl was empty. What? Where did it go? I cast a suspicious eye at Fer and the others, had they used some sort of Teleportation magic spell while I wasn't looking but no, they were still eagerly eating from their own dishes of grilled Dragon meat over rice. I looked at the bottom of my empty bowl, finally admitting to myself...

"I ate it. I ate it all. It was delicious..." Honestly, it might have been the best meat dish I had ever eaten. The collaboration between the Earth Dragon's meat and the grilled meat sauce was just too too delicious. Another one? No, no, I shook my head. I might explode. It was tempting though, so very very tempting. Just then Fer and Sui finished their own bowls and, of course, demanded ""Seconds!""

 I refilled their bowls again and again before they admitted defeat and finished eating. After tidying up I did a quick inventory check and discovered only two-thirds of the Earth Dragon's meat remained. Had we really eaten a third of it already? We had eaten some Dragon steaks at Elland-san's house, more steaks in the dungeon once and again after we left and then the grilled Dragon meat just now, were those really the only times? I'd have to be more careful in the future, I decided, this rare and precious Earth Dragon meat was so tasty it could all be gone before we noticed and who knew when we'd get more.

Everyone's belly being full it was time for bed. Fer and Dora-chan settled down on their futons in the beast stables at the back of the inn while I took Sui-chan up to our room. I laid out a futon and put the sleeping Sui-chan down on the bed but I still had something to do before I could join her. It was a pain but I knew how bothersome THOSE guys got when they said I was late...