Monday 31 December 2018

Ch 119 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 119 -- Having a Little Confidence in His Disassembly Skills


We went down to the Guild's warehouse which was basically the same as the others I had been in, only much larger. Doran was the biggest city I'd visited in this country and it was a Dungeon City as well so it wasn't surprising that the Guild's monster disassembly area was larger too.

"So then, please take it out and put it here." Elland-san slapped the top of a large workbench in one corner of the warehouse. "After hearing from Rodolpho you had subjugated an Earth Dragon we immediately prepared all the facilities and equipment necessary for its disassembly and we were just waiting for your arrival. We will not waste a drop of blood as I'll personally disassemble it with the utmost care." Elland-san smiled self-deprecatingly. "I have a little confidence in my skills in that regard."

Wait, the Guild Master is going to disassemble the Earth Dragon with his own hands? He boasted he has a 'little confidence' of his abilities as a dismantler?

"Are you intending to dismantle it yourself, Elland-san?" I asked hesitantly. It didn't seem like the sort of thing a Guild Master should do. Disassembly was a craftsman's role, he had a Guild to run, surely that would take up all his time-

"Naturally! I'd never consider giving such a wonderful job to anyone else! Disassembling an Earth Dragon, who else but me could I allow to do it?"

Oh, it's like that is it? Rodolpho-san had said that Elland-san had a thing about Dragons but I didn't think it went quite as far as this, that he would usurp the task of disassembling a Dragon from the regular warehouse staff. Was the chance to do this sort of work really such a wonderful thing for him?

"The last time a Dragon was suppressed in this country was 238 years ago." Elland-san mused, a faraway expression in his eyes. "Back then I wanted to join the subjugation party but for various reasons I couldn't go with them. Afterwards I asked to assist with the dismantling, I asked again and again, but I couldn't get permission." He shrugged. "At that time I was a B ranked Adventurer. I worked hard and eventually rose to S rank but there were never any more Dragon suppressions. Age caught up with me, even long-lived Elves grow old so I retired and joined the Guild's staff. I always hoped that someday another Dragon would be suppressed and I'd be able to dismantle it at least. I've been Guild Master here for 32 years, waiting, hoping, and now..."

Ah, Elland-san? You're telling me things about yourself I didn't really want to know. Rodolpho-san said you weren't a bad person as such but well, what you just said sounds just a bit, ummm, crazy? I decided to interrupt him before he went any further so I took the Earth Dragon from my Item Box and put it on the workbench.

"Here it is Elland-san." I staggered back as the Guild Master pushed brusquely past me.

"Oh, Oooooooooooooooooooooh !!!" Please calm down, Elland-san, I thought as I watched him stare lovingly at the not-very-pretty corpse of the Dragon laid out on the bench before him.

"Th- this is an Earth Dragon!" Well, yes, that's what Fer said it was. "Oh, oh, becoming the Guild Master here in Doran was the best decision I ever made! The Dragon of my dreams, now within my reach... and the pleasure of disassembling it to come... It's a dream come true." His words scared me a little. 'Single-minded', that's the word Rodolpho-san used to describe his old Adventurer colleague back in Claire. I was tending towards 'demented' or 'hysterical' myself now having some first-hand experience of Elland-san.

At a loss for words, I requested disassembly of the Earth Dragon. "Oh, and can we get all the materials back afterwards?" Elland-san's reaction to seeing the Dragon made me suspect he might, ahem, pilfer some choice parts if he was doing the disassembly himself.

"Well it's a pity." Elland-san recovered enough to think about what I had asked and the Guild Master of Doran came to the fore again. "In truth the Guild doesn't have the budget to buy in all the materials from this Dragon anyway. It's a real shame." He looked at me perceptively and smiled.

"You were thinking I might steal some of the materials during disassembly?" He laughed. "Don't worry about that. If something like that were to happen and it became known the reputation of the Adventurers Guild would plummet. Not just that, I'd be sold into slavery or even executed in an unpleasant manner, and I value my life quite a lot." He shrugged. "Now that Mukouda-san is here in Doran it's entirely possible another Dragon will require disassembly soon. It would be a shame to lose that future opportunity by any foolish actions now."

Is that so? It sounded like he was more worried about being caught than anything. I settled for that but Elland-san continued.

"No, wait. Even if we can't buy in all of the Earth Dragon, maybe some parts..." he thought for a moment. "If you agree maybe we can buy some of the Dragon's materials from you?" He really wanted a complete Dragon but he'd settle for some bits of one. If he agreed to pay us for some parts we didn't want or need then maybe he'd stay honest when temptation struck later as he disassembled the monster.

"Yes, that's OK." I said. "So what parts do you want? We want to keep all the meat but the rest of the materials we can negotiate for." I had to keep all the meat otherwise Fer would get angry. He was certain that Dragon meat was the tastiest meat ever. I was intrigued, I had tasted Orc General, Bloody Horn Bull and even Wyvern meat since I had arrived in this world. Could Dragon really be so much better than those high-quality meats?

"We definitely want the blood," Elland-san mused, "and the fangs too. I'd like to buy the innards but... Hummm, we can't afford everything so I'll have to choose. The meat is too expensive for sure so of course I'll return that to you. Please let me think about this a little more, Mukouda-san."

"That's fine." I agreed. "Once we come back after the dismantling is done we can decide together what parts the Guild wants to buy from us. We want all the meat since Fer says is's really delicious and he'd get mad at me if we didn't keep it."

"...Earth Dragon meat is delicious? You've eaten Dragon meat before?" Elland-san exclaimed.

"Well, yeah, I've been told by Fer that it tastes really good." As I said that Elland-san rushed round from the other side of the workbench and grasped my hand.

"Please, I beg you, please let me eat Dragon meat. I will pay, I will pay you anything you ask, every coin I possess, I'll sell everything I have, please let me eat some of that meat." he begged, tears in his eyes as I tried unsuccessfully to disengage my hand from his strong grip. E- Elland-san, are you really so desperate to eat Dragon you would sell everything you own? Please don't say that.

"Well, yes, I understand, please calm down." I pleaded.

Misunderstanding what I had said Elland-san said "Thank you very much, thank you very much" over and over again. I finally extracted my hand from his grip and shook it to restore the circulation. He had said he was an S rank Adventurer before he retired, I could well believe that.

"Ha, Dragon meat..." Elland-san said ecstatically, his hand stroking the Earth Dragon on the workbench beside him. When he started rubbing his cheek against its scaly skin I had to look away. This Elf-san is truly terrifying, Rodolpho-san. Your warning was not enough.

Fer, who had been pretending to be asleep as usual looked up at the tall Elf figure bussing the Earth Dragon and asked "Is that guy all right?" I didn't know what to tell him. Dora-chan added "Are all the people in this city like him?" I tried to assure them that Elland-san was a special case but I don't think I was very convincing.

"So, how long will it take you to disassemble it?" I asked, hoping he'd stop doing what he was doing. Elland-san stood upright again, blinking as his Guild Master persona took over again. He left one hand resting on the Dragon's skin though, I noticed.

"Well, let me think, umm, I want to be very careful and be sure I investigate every part thoroughly so I'd want 3 days to finish it properly." The way he said "investigate every part thoroughly" worried me somewhat. Anyway, it would be three days, apparently.

"Then I'll come back in three days. Oh, that's right, are there any subjugation requests for us to undertake in this city?"

"Ah, no. We're fine here. Remember this is a Dungeon City so we have plenty of Adventurers around." High-ranking Adventurers would tend to congregate around a dungeon so the local area's needs in that respect would be well-catered for.

Elland-san's eyes strayed back to the Earth Dragon on the workbench and I decided it was time to go find an inn to stay at for the duration of our visit to Doran. When I asked the distracted Guild master about lodgings he immediately offered to put us all up at his own home but I declined as politely as I could. It had been nerve-wracking enough just being with him for a few hours, a whole day or longer... brrr. He was actually a nice guy as long as he wasn't thinking about Dragons which was most of the time so I said we'd find a suitable inn that had accommodations for contracted monsters.

Elland-san recommended the "Labyrinth City Inn" where guests could stay with contracted monsters and told me that as a thank-you for bringing the Dragon to Doran's Guild for dismantling they'd cover our accommodation fee. He gave directions to the inn and when prompted by Fer I asked for the location of the dungeon entrance too. It seemed that Fer wanted to go there tomorrow and I was too tired to argue so I listened carefully to Elland-san's instructions before we said good-bye and left the Guild building.

Tuesday 25 December 2018

Ch 118 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 118 -- Magical Energy and Flower Nectar?


"First of all, where did you encounter this Pixie Dragon?" Elland-san launched straight into asking about his favourite subject, Dragons.

"Dora-chan? I met Dora-chan near the forest of Ishtam." I said. Elland-san raised an eyebrow.

"Wh- why is the Pixie Dragon named Dora-chan?" he asked, looking confused.

"Eh well, because it appears you have to give your contracted monster a name to seal the contract." I didn't really understand why I had to do this to make a contract. Fer had told me that if the monster has submitted then the contract is formed when it's given a name and after that you are able to communicate with it telepathically. I don't understand that bit either but it seems to work so I won't worry about it.

"Even a Pixie Dragon is a real Dragon so why call it Dora-chan? If I were you, I would have given it a more dignified name, don't you think?" Elland-san looked up at the ceiling of his office, deep in thought. "Dora-chan is, well, not really, ummm, I wonder what I can say, it's not really up to me..." Elland-san muttered but I could hear what he was thinking. Dora-chan, it's a cute name, isn't it? What's wrong with it? Did everyone except me think it was a bad choice? Elland-san shook his head for some reason then returned his gaze to me.

"Since you encountered Dora-chan near the forest of Ishtam, does that mean there's a Pixie Dragon habitat nearby?"

"Well,  I only came across Dora-chan." I explained. I had no idea what a Pixie Dragon's habitat would be like. Elland-san sighed and scored something off in the papers on the table before him.

"Then, what kind of things do Pixie Dragons usually eat?" he went on.

"What sort of things? We all eat the same things I cook." I stopped there, not wanting to say anything that might give away The Secret but I make it and we all eat it. Sure, Fer isn't fond of veggies and Sui doesn't like green tea but meat, kaarage, curry, stew, you name it they'll gobble it down and demand "Seconds!" right after.

"Huh?" Elland-san seemed confused (again).

"Yep, Fer, Sui, Dora-chan and I all eat the same thing." I indicated Fer who was lying by the chair pretending to be asleep as usual then I took Sui out of her bag and held her out for inspection. I nodded at Dora-chan who was sitting on the couch next to me, wings neatly folded and explained that everyone ate the same food. Elland-san's eyes narrowed.

"So it's true, Mukouda-san has a Fenrir and Slime as contracted monsters as well as the Pixie Dragon." Elland-san sighed. "But a Fenrir, a Slime and a Pixie Dragon can't eat the same things, Mukouda-san. Please don't joke about such things."

 Hey, I wasn't joking! Why do you think I was making stuff up?

"A Fenrir is carnivorous," Elland-san explained deprecatingly, "And a Slime can digest pretty much anything but I know for a fact the staple food of the Pixie Dragon is magical energy and flower nectar." He held up his hands. "It's obviously impossible for those to be the same thing, isn't it? Ha ha ha!"

Huh? A Pixie Dragon's staple diet is supposed to be magical energy and nectar from flowers? Dora-chan usually eats meat. Well, he loves meat and eats it quite readily.

"I have never heard such an idea before." Dora-chan said telepathically, shaking his head.

"Where did you get the idea that Pixie Dragons only ate magical energy and flower nectar?" I asked, intrigued.

"From a book in the Royal Library of a certain country far from here." Elland-san went on. "That country has studied Dragons thoroughly because Dragon materials form one of the components of Elixir." His eyes took on a faraway look. "Since that book about Dragons and Elixir was a national secret I had to surreptitiously make my way into the restricted archives of that Royal Library just to be able to read it." So you broke in, Elland-san? Just how crazy are you about Dragons? It seemed Rodolpho-san was well aware just how obsessed Elland-san was on this subject.

But that was interesting to hear, that Dragons supply at least one of the materials to create Elixir. Fer had told me that healing mushrooms were certainly one of the other materials of Elixir. Could it be I actually had most or even all of the components of Elixir in my Item Box? I wondered what other materials if any might be needed. Elland-san was an Elf and had been around for a long time so he might know. I'd maybe ask him later.

"I don't know why such a book said that, but it's wrong about a Pixie Dragon's staple food being magical power and flower nectar... Dora-chan?"

"Oh. We Pixie Dragons will basically eat anything. Of course I prefer meat myself." So Dora-chan was omnivorous and whatever I cooked for myself, Fer and Sui he'd eat with gusto.

"As Dora-chan just said, a Pixie Dragon seems to eat basically anything but he himself prefers meat," I repeated to Elland-san.

"... Wait a moment please, Dora-chan told you this? How?" Elland-san shouted.

"Well, I just talk to Dora-chan with my thoughts and he replies the same way, telepathically."

Bang! Elland-san slapped his hands on the table and leaned forward.

"Mukouda-san, you can speak with Dragons telepathically?" he shouted. Wah, your face is too close, Guild Master-san. It's a handsome face, a beautiful face even but I'm a man and you're a man so please, not so close.

"Hey hey Elland-san, please calm down, no, I can not talk to Dragons. It's because Dora-chan submitted to a contract with me I can talk with him telepathically just the same way I can talk with Fer and Sui." Elland-san sat back, a stunned expression on his face as he absorbed what I had just told him. After a few moments he blinked.

"I've never heard of anyone being able to talk to a monster after they made a submission contract with them before." He paused. "It's not that I don't believe you, Mukouda-san but..." Elland-san was obviously doubtful of my ability to talk to Fer, Sui and especially Dora-chan.

"...Really? Is it not normal to be able to speak telepathically with a monster after making a submission contract?"

"I don't think so." Elland-san said after a few moments thought. "I've lived a long time, even for an Elf but I've never heard of that ability before."

Eh, really? Fer told me that monsters who agreed to a submission contract can communicate by telepathy so I thought that it was the standard thing to happen.

"Fer, what's going on?"

"Ummm, I've got no idea." Fer thought for a long moment, obviously rifling through his own memories. He had lived for a thousand years, even longer than Elland-san had been alive but he had spent hardly any time around humans and other races like Elves so what he took to be the truth about submission contracts between humans and monsters might not match Elland-san's knowledge. "My own experience has been that those monsters who make a submission contract with a human can share thoughts with their other contracted monsters. I don't know how it works any other way."

That's right. As Fer said, both Fer and Sui can talk to Dora-chan as well as me. I'd not run into anyone else who had contracted monsters before so I thought this was the way all submission contracts worked. Was I wrong?

"I'm trying to understand this but...," Elland-san concentrated for a moment, "Mukouda-san, you have submission contracts with these three monsters. That means you forced them to submit to you, doesn't it?"

 Uh, what? Please don't make jokes like that. How could a salary-man like me force a Fenrir and a Dragon or even a new-born baby Slime to submit? I lost at arm-wrestling to my office-lady kouhai when we were out drinking one night after work, how could I...

"I've got no idea how legendary monsters like Fenrir or Dragons could be forced to submit. I'd like to see someone try to subdue a Fenrir or a Dragon by force." From a long distance away, of course. Safety first.

"Although Carerina's Guild Master and Rodolfo didn't get any details from you about how the Fenrir became a contracted monster, they told me that you subdued him with some kind of special secret method, Mukouda-san." Elland-san looked at me penetratingly with the eye of an experienced Guild Master used to evaluating the combat abilities of Adventurers. "Both of them and now myself would agree it's unlikely you used direct force or fought them to the point they would submit to you. That leaves the possibility that you employed some powerful technique or sophisticated method to make monsters submit that is unknown to the Guild." He shrugged. "Rodolfo thought for some reason that food was involved and mentioned that you might have mixed a special poison in their meals..."

Hey, why did Fer and Dora-chan suddenly look at me like that? I don't use poison, I've got no idea how to make them or anything of that sort, I told them telepathically but the suspicious looks didn't go away.

"Well, this is fascinating." Elland-san said, making more notes on the papers before him. "It appears the standard submission contract I know of and Mukouda-san's version of a submission contract are very different." He went on to explain that a normal submission contract involved putting a monster under control by force and making it yield to their will. It was basically the same as a slave contract imposed on humans, a monster who submitted had to follow the instructions of its owner implicitly. The job class of someone who forces submission contracts on monsters is Tamer. The higher the level the Tamer has due to experience and practice the stronger the monsters they can successfully Tame and they get a bonus boost as well from the levels of the monsters they already have under their control.

 However it's necessary to Tame a certain level of monsters to qualify as a Tamer to start with and there are few people who can form a submission contract with monsters even at the lowest possible level. This means the Tamer job is very rare especially since many beginners who try to become a Tamer fail on their first attempt. Elland-san didn't have to explain to me just what the penalty for "failing to Tame a strong monster" would be.

A Tamer? I tried to imagine myself as a Tamer trying to force Fer into forming a submission contract against his will and shuddered. Hey, my occupation is still listed on my Status as "other-world-guy who got caught". I'm not a Tamer, not really. Even attempting to force Sui-chan as she is today to be my contracted monster would not end well for me. I remembered the Giant Centipede she one-hitted in the Forest of Ishtam, or the Wyverns she shot down in the grasslands near Carerina or... then again I couldn't imagine being able to Tame even a level-1 monster to start with.

"From what you've told me, Mukouda-san, your relationship with your contracted monsters and how you obtained them is unique. I've been informed about the Royal decree preventing any interference in your affairs so I can't demand you reveal to me how you achieved those contracts..." Elland-san sighed and sat back. "Your contracted monsters are a Pixie Dragon and a Fenrir and a Slime which, from what I've been told, is almost unbelievably powerful. These are monsters which would not usually submit to a Tamer no matter how competent and capable they may be."

I had learned that Fer, Sui and Dora-chan weren't bound to me by ordinary submission contracts as defined by the Guild. That was useful to know but it didn't really help me understand just how our contracts actually worked. The telepathy thing was special, for example.

"I understand that Mukouda-san's submission contract is different from the ordinary one and I'd really like to know more about the differences," Elland-san went on, his face lighting up, "but what I'd really like to know is how to form my own submission contract of the same type with a Dragon."

Are you trying to make a contract with a Dragon? You really are crazy about Dragons, aren't you? What could I say?

"No, I can't explain to you how it's done and even if..." I ran out of words and ideas and just asked Fer and the others for their opinions telepathically.

"What he wants can't be done." Fer said abruptly. "To begin with I'd never accept a submission contract with him since there's nothing he could offer me."

"Yeah. This guy can't cook the way you do, I'm sure of it." Dora-chan added. "You're the only one anywhere in this world that could make the food I like so much."

Dora-chan, I'm glad that you praised me, but I'm not actually a real cook, I just make dinner like I do at home.

"Yup, couldn't agree more." Fer added. "Long-lived species like us aren't easy to please but delicious food is one of the things that we really like." So food is important enough to you to make a contract with me?

"That's right - delicious food is very important~" Sui-chan chimed in. "I'm happy to be able to eat delicious meals~"

Sui-chan too... I knew you guys were attracted by my cooking and became my contracted monsters that way but I didn't really understand just how it worked for you. This gave me an idea how to deal with Elland-san who was getting more and more impatient as I communed telepathically with the Gluttonous Trio.

"Ha... Um, maybe you can cook, Elland-san?" I asked.

"Oh, cooking? Because I always eat at restaurants, I do not cook, but..." his eyes lit up. "Are you saying that cooking is necessary for you to make your submission contract, Mukouda-san?"

"No, it's not actually necessary," I lied, "but my contracted monsters are gourmets and demand I make them delicious meals as part of the contract."

"Well, if that's the case, I will learn to cook! If I become able to cook, even I can make a monster contract with a Dragon!" Elland-san's excitement increased even further.

"No, it's not as simple as that but ..." I was at a loss to go on.

Fer interrupted me. "This isn't going anywhere. Let's eat something and maybe you'll stop rambling while your mouth is full of food."

"The big guy said it right. You're getting hungry like us. Let's have some food."

"Sui's also hungry-"

Ah that's right, I should distract Elland-san. If he's anything like the other people in this world the food I cook will do it.

"Excuse me, Elland-san, but everyone is hungry." I announced. "Can you let us eat here in your office? Please join us, we have plenty." Elland-san blinked at my odd request but nodded.

"Well, by all means. I'm intrigued and will happily steal a bite or two. Food that contracted monsters desire should be interesting to sample." Elland-san looked eager to eat some of my cooking.

"Ah Elland-san, are you OK with meat?" The Elves in stories and games in my world are strict vegetarians after all.

"Yes, meat is my favourite food." Oh, the Elves in this world seem to think eating meat is OK. That simplified things, I just made gyuudon beef bowls with ready-to-eat ingredients from my Item Box. I filled dishes for Fer and the others with warm rice, topped them with plenty of cooked shredded meat and finished off with a soft-boiled egg broken in the middle. The Gluttonous Trio dug in with a will as usual.

Watching with interest the way Dora-chan was eating his beef bowl, Elland-san said with a note of wonder in his voice, "I was totally wrong about the staple food of Pixie Dragons being magical energy and the nectar from flowers." Yeah, Dora-chan really loves meat doesn't he?

I made another beef bowl like the others and handed it to Elland-san.

"You should eat the egg in the middle with a spoon." I suggested.

"Yes, well..."

Elland-san broke the soft-boiled egg as I recommended and lifted the beef bowl to his mouth. As he tentatively took a bite I saw his eyes widen in surprise then he started to briskly devour the contents of the bowl. It appeared he liked the taste. I started in on my own beef bowl.

"Hey you, seconds here."

"Seconds-"

Fer and Sui chorused their demands for more beef bowl just as I took my own first bite. As usual.

"Ummm, could I have a second helping...?" Elland-san, not you too? I sighed and put my own bowl down to deal with the Three Gluttons. Dora-chan seemed full up with his first bowl but I had another freeloader on my hands now. I worried for a moment if I'd end up being forced to make a contract with the Elf-san now I'd fed him but shook my head. Nope. Not going to happen.

In the end 'seconds' became 'thirds' for the three freeloaders although I managed an extra bowl of gyuudon for myself while they were still eating. Success!

When the meal ended, Fer looked towards Elland-san and spoke. "Well, you've seen how it works first-hand now. No high-ranking monster will make a contract like ours with you if you can't provide food as good or better than what we've just eaten, and every day too."

"Ku... I have lived a long time and eaten countless wonderful meals but what I just ate now was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted. It is impossible for me..." Elland-san sat staring at the empty bowls on the table before him, dejected and lost for words. So the most wonderful thing he's ever eaten is a gyuudon beef bowl, the sort of cheap meal you could buy in a Japanese salaryman restaurant for five hundred yen (including sales tax)?

...oh, seasonings. I have the Net Super so I can cook with all the seasonings and condiments I'd normally use when I was in Japan, but in this world salt was about the only thing used to flavour food. There's pepper too but that was expensive and only enjoyed by rich people and nobility. No wonder what I cook is more flavourful than anything anyone in this world can make. Soy sauce, mirin, dashi and many other ingredients, they're all new to this world and I'm the only one that can obtain them.

"Ah well, cheer up please." I said. Elland-san looked up and nodded, his eyes brightening.

"That's right, I still have something else to ask of you, Mukouda-san!" Elland-san leant forward eagerly again. "I was told about 'that' by Carerina's Guild Master. Please give me 'that'."

That? What's that?

"That, the Earth Dragon!" Ah, that reminded me, I'd forgotten all about it. Haa, when will I be able to get out of here?

Monday 24 December 2018

Ch 117 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi


Ch 117 -- The Guild Master Is An Imposing Elf


By noon the next day the Dungeon City of Doran had finally come into view.

"As they said back in Claire, it's a really large city." I muttered, taking in the sight of its impressive walls.

"Umu." Fer agreed, slowing down at last. "Anyway, it looks like it will take us some time to get in." Following Fer's gaze I could make out a long row of people standing in front of the gate on this side of the city.

"Ah, you're right, there are lots of people waiting to enter." A big city like this there were bound to be lots of visitors, Adventurers and merchants and the like. It couldn't be helped, we'd have to queue up and wait our turn to get in.

"Wouldn't it be faster to just fly over the wall?" Dora-chan suggested. "Well, Fer could easily jump over carrying you and Sui." I looked up at the high walls, the very very high walls surrounding the city and shook my head. Nope. No jumping, not that high.

"No, no, we'd be caught by the city guards doing that and I am not in a hurry anyway so let's wait here together."

"Nuu, it's annoying but it can't be helped." Fer muttered. He was obviously impatient to get into Doran's dungeon.

"Let's join the end of the queue over there." I pointed and Fer set off again. As Fer got closer I heard a voice shouting "A monster's coming! A Great Wolf?" and people who looked like Adventurers started brandishing heir weapons. More cries, "A baby Dragon too! Look out!" as they caught sight of Dora-chan flying along beside us. Some people dressed like mages held up their staffs and started murmuring enchantments. This was getting bad.

"It's okay folks, both of these guys are my contracted monsters!" I shouted loudly so everyone could hear me. Fer and Dora-chan stopped, obviously not threatening the people nearby and this convinced them that they had submitted to me. The Adventurers put down their weapons and the mages lowered their staffs... but it was clear they were still suspicious and wary. After all Fer was, at least, a giant Wolf-type monster and Dora-chan, although small was obviously a Dragon even if they thought he was a baby. If they were worried about a Dragon this small I wondered just how troublesome a fully-grown Dragon could be. Fer, who seemed invincible to me, had said a few times that some older Dragons could give him what he called "a decent fight".

We joined the end of the queue waiting to get into Doran and stood quietly. There wasn't really anything I could say to the people staring at us so I just kept my mouth shut. The uncomfortable silence lasted only for a short time though as I soon heard a voice calling my name. What?

"Mukouda-saaaan!" Someone was running towards us while loudly shouting my name. Who was it? It was a man, by the pitch of the voice but I didn't know anyone in Doran, this was my first visit ever...

"Mukouda, I've been waiting for you to come for sooo long now~" The voice grew louder. Who was he?

I said "Who is Mukouda?" with a puzzled expression on my face because everyone was watching me. I wished whoever it was wouldn't shout my name so loudly.

"Mukouda-saaaan!" Please don't call out someone's name like that! I'm not here!

"Ha ha, Mukouda! I knew at once it was you when I saw your contracted monsters! I've been waiting a long time to meet you!" The running man stopped in front of me, excited and gasping for breath.

......Who was this? He was handsome and well-built with long hair, obviously in the prime of life. As I studied him closely I noticed his long ears tapered to a point. Was he an Elf? I'd never seen an Elf before...

"I was so excited when I heard the story from Rodolpho that I couldn't sleep at night. So this is the Pixie Dragon!" he exclaimed, getting even more excited as he stared fixedly at Dora-chan who buzzed around behind my back, trying to conceal himself as if he was terrified of being seen by the man. This Elf, he was handsome and obviously vigorous but there was a faint whiff of, well, a pervert about him.

"Mukouda-san!" The Elf suddenly grasped my shoulders with both hands. Hey, what are you doing?

"I am truly astounded!" he declared. Oh, is that so? Great, you're astounded, now let go of my shoulders will you? The people around me were staring even more. Please don't stare, I begged as I tried unsuccessfully to dislodge the Elf's hands from my shoulders.

"I've actually seen a Pixie Dragon, a particularly rare Dragon sub-species, with my own eyes... I'm so thankful I've lived to experience this day... I'm soooo happy... Ougggh..." The supposedly-adult Elf was blubbering like a child and still holding on to my shoulders. I tried again to disengage his hands but his grip was still too strong. Please don't cry, Elf-san. Compose youself and let go of my shoulders. Stop attracting so much attention to yourself, to us, to me. Please. Pleasepleaseplease.

"Gusu ..." the Elf finally straightened up and released his clamp-like grip on my aching shoulders. "I'm sorry I lost my composure. It's just..." he waved his hand grandiosely. "I was overcome. I beg you will forgive me."

Well, yes I'll forgive you, just stop crying, whoever you are. Maybe I should find out who he was. The Elf was still trying to peek around my back at Dora-chan who was evading his teary-eyed gaze.

"Oh, ummm, who are you?" I asked hesitantly, trying to attract his attention again. The imposing Elf blinked and focussed back on me.

"I'm terribly sorry, I was so excited by the sight of the Pixie Dragon I forgot to introduce myself." He bowed in an elegant manner before straightening up again. "I am Elland, the Guild Master of the Adventurers Guild in this city," he waved his arm back at the walls behind him," The famed Dungeon City of Doran. Pleased to make your aquaintance."

............?

The Elf was Elland-san, the local Guild Master. Really? A Guild Master that was excited by the sight of Dora-chan and weeps freely? This must be the person Rodolpho-san warned, uh told me about, his old friend and party member, the one who was obsessed with Dragons. It seemed he hadn't exaggerated in his description of the Guild Master of Doran.

"Let's head straight to the Guild." Elland-san said.

"Well, but I have to wait in the queue to enter the city..." I protested.

"No, no, I do not have time to wait, Mukouda-san." Elland-san said, pushing me inexorably forward through the crowd at the gate. The Elf was an impressively strong person. "We can all enter Doran together under my Guild Master's authority." The waiting mob of Adventurers and others parted as we approached the gate, clearly recognising the Guild Master but glaring at me for getting special treatment. "It will be fine, there are so many things I want to ask you so let's get to the Guild as soon as possible." I'd be happy to wait, Elland-san, really, I thought to myself, cringing inside at the hostile eyes focussed on me but Elland-san's hand pushing on my back was unstoppable.

We entered the Dungeon City of Doran without pausing, Elland-san grandly declaring to the gatekeepers "I guarantee this person and his contracted monsters with my authority," as we passed them with no objections, simply bows of agreement from the guardians.

Elland-san, we just met a few moments ago so is it really okay for you to say "I guarantee this person and his contracted monsters with my authority" to the gatekeepers? I really hope it wouldn't cause me problems further down the line. As we passed through the imposing gate I wondered about Elland-san's declaration that "there are so many things I want to ask you". That would be about Dragons, right? You want to hear all about my incredible experiences with Dragons. Problem is, I don't know anything about Dragons...

Doran's Adventurers Guild was situated just inside the city's gate, an impressively-sized building that dominated the small square it fronted on. We quickly entered the Adventurers Guild and I was guided and pushed by Elland-san into the Guild Master's office on the second floor as Guild staff and visitors jumped out of our path.

"There you go, sit down sit down please." Elland-san gestured at a two-person couch with ball-and-claw feet, suavely elegant and more than suitable to grace the office of the Guild Master of an important Dungeon City. I gave in to the inevitable, sure there was no escape now I was in his office, and I sat down. Elland-san sat opposite me in a similar couch, preparing paper and a pen on the table between us, obviously eager to listen to what I had to tell him.

"Let's get started shall we? I've got a lot of questions for you, if you don't mind." Even if I did mind I wasn't going to avoid the questions he had for me. I glanced at the imposingly-solid door which Elland-san had shut firmly behind me and shrugged. Haa, I travelled a long way to this city since I wanted to look around and do a lot of things. If I survived the coming interrogation then my time would be my own again and I could sight-see to my heart's content.

Thursday 20 December 2018

Ch 116 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 116 -- After All, We Prefer Meat

"I'm seeing more and more signs of people around." Fer said at a lunch break, four days after we left the city of Claire. "We'll maybe get to Doran tomorrow afternoon."

"Tomorrow, really? That's sooner than I expected." I looked at the map I had been given by Rodolpho-san, the head of the Adventurer's Guild in Claire, tracing the route between that city and our destination, the Dungeon City of Doran. Had we really covered so much distance in only four days?

"Yes. I've been running faster than usual." Fer said complacently. So he's in a hurry to get to Doran, a city with a Dungeon? I wonder why. Not.

"Doran at last?" Dora-chan commented. "It's a pretty big city from what you've told me, I'm looking forward to seeing it."

"I'm looking forward to the dungeon-" Cute battle-maniac Sui-chan chimed in, saying out loud what I suspected the other two were really thinking.

But, a dungeon... is it really a good idea to rush headlong towards a place where monsters abound? I sighed. Because Fer, Sui and Dora-chan were all looking forward to going into the dungeon in Doran I'd have no choice but to accompany them. I'd need to be prepared though, safety first after all. I decided I'd need some more of Sui's Deluxe High-grade Potion in case I got injured. I had Healing Mushrooms in store but Sui's Deluxe High-grade Potion seemed to work better so I'd get her to make more of that for me. Hmmm, maybe it would be a good idea to make a variety of potions, the basic, intermediate and regular high-grade types too just in case.

"Sui? Can you do something for me?"

* * * * *

"This looks like a good place to stop for today." Fer said as he came to a halt. The sun was going down but it wasn't really dark yet.

"Why?" I asked. "Will we get to Doran tomorrow if we stop now?"

"Yeah, easy. Earlier I figured we'd make it some time tomorrow afternoon but I've been going faster than I expected for some reason and even if we stop now we'll get there before noon."

I could guess the "reason" Fer was hurrying towards Doran but had he really cut so much time off the trip? I wondered just how fast Fer could go if he didn't have me on his back. Anyway if he said we'd be at Doran tomorrow then that was probably right.

"I'm hungry. Flying so fast like this all day long makes me hungry." Dora-chan said as he collapsed onto the ground beside Fer. I thought he had eaten his fill for breakfast, and lunch too come to think of it. Was he really hungry?

"That's right. If you move so fast like this you burn through a lot of food." Fer firmly agreed. I suspected he was just over-eating but then again we had been travelling very fast. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on that since I was simply freeloading on his back.

"Sui also got hungry -"

Sui-chan... Sui was also eating a lot but she had missed breakfast and lunch today, asleep in her bag.

"Food." Fer declared.

"Food, like the big guy said." Dora-chan agreed.

"Dinner-" Sui said.

Huh, they are strong monsters but what about their fuel economy? Keeping them fed was a real challenge, I thought to myself as I got ready to start cooking. I thought for a bit on what the menu would be today and I decided use up the rest of the Venom Tarantula legs I had in my Item Box. They tasted OK but everyone, including myself, preferred monster meat like Orc, Bloody Horn Bull and Wyvern meat.  Best to get them out of the way, I decided so I'd cook them and serve them up today, treating them like leftovers. I thought about various ideas on how to present them and came up with the idea of making "crab-meat" omelettes with "crab-meat" salad and fried rice as side dishes. Fer might complain about the salad but vegetables are good for your body and eating raw vegetables occasionally doesn't hurt, really.

First of all I had to purchase stuff from the Net Super. The salad vegetables were lettuce and cucumber with canned corn and a sesame oil dressing. I'd top the fried rice with omelettes made from eggs and green onions with some seasoning, oyster shoyu I think. I'd use the sauce from a tube I'd used before, just buying it from the Net Super was easier than making it myself. I bought more eggs than I'd need for the omelettes since I'd use some for the fried rice as well as some red bean paste for flavouring the omelettes.

I like fried rice with lots of ingredients so today's serving would have shiitake and enoki mushrooms, boiled bamboo shoots and as a finale canned green peas for colouring. I laid out all the ingredients and checked, Yosh! Ready to start.

First I boiled up all the Venom Tarantula legs with lots of salt then used scissors to cut the softened shell and take out the insides. I started off making the salad using the meat I removed.

I cut the lettuce to an appropriate size and sliced the cucumber thinly. I put them in a big bowl with the corn, plenty of Venom Tarantula leg meat and added sesame oil as a dressing before tossing it. I put some on each serving dish before tucking them away in my Item Box for the time being to keep everything fresh.

Next up was to cook the fried rice and finally the omelettes. I boiled the bamboo shoots and shredded them, trimmed and sliced the shiitake mushrooms and trimmed and split the enoki too. I oiled a frying pan and quickly stir-fried the mushrooms and then added the bamboo shoots with salt and pepper.

I put water, chicken stock, sake, vinegar, sugar and soy sauce and boiled it, finally adding dissolved potato starch to thicken it. After that I added the stir-fried ingredients and lots of well-shredded Venom Tarantula meat, this would be the main ingredient of the omelettes later.

Next was the fried rice. I beat some eggs and added finely-chopped green onions before frying lots of rice in a big pan, very hot, then I added the eggs and mixed them in with the cooking rice as quickly as I could. I sprinkled in more finely-shredded Venom Tarantula meat and stirred in oyster sauce seasoning until it was cooked thoroughly. I put it in a dish with bean paste and that was it ready. Now for the omelettes which were simply a mixture of beaten eggs and the prepared Venom Tarantula meat cooked in a frying pan and lightly salted.

I put fried rice in each serving dish, topped each one with an omelette and sprinkled green peas and bean paste on the fried rice to complete it before retrieving all the salads I had made previously.

"It's ready." I called. I put out dishes of food before Fer, Sui and Dora-chan who were lined up expectantly.

"Hoy, it's not meat today?" Fer said. "And that green stuff? I don't want vegetables." He looked disgusted.

"I cooked Venom Tarantula today," I explained.

"I was okay with just eating meat..." Fer complained under his breath but just loud enough for me to hear of course. Okay okay, I know what you prefer by now but this should be delicious anyway, even the salad since it's got Venom Tarantula in it too.

"From tomorrow it's going to be meat again. I've used up all the Venom Tarantula with this meal."

"Nu, is that so? Well, good." Saying that Fer started digging in, munch munch. I joined him, eating my own portion. Fer was big on meat but it wouldn't stop him eating what I cooked and he could console himself that it was only for today.

"Gulp gulp... Well this is okay I suppose but I prefer meat like the big guy." Dora-chan too?

"Aruji, it's delicious-" Sui-chan said. "But I guess Sui likes meat more-" Y- you too, Sui? Guh, that means it's going to be meat and nothing else from here on out. I knew these freeloaders liked meat but I didn't think they were quite as all-out carnivorous as this.

Despite all of them saying that they preferred meat Dora-chan finished off the food I put before him including the salad and as usual Fer and Sui demanded "Seconds!" so I supposed what I had cooked was OK. I liked meat myself but just sometimes but for these three it seems to be an essential part of mealtimes.

I have plenty of meat in my Item Box for now but I'd have to keep a close eye on the inventory if I'm going to be responsible for feeding three gluttonous carnivores from now on.

Friday 14 December 2018

Ch 115 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 115 -- The Taste of Venom Tarantula...

After parting company with Rodolpho-san at the Adventurer's Guild we left the town of Claire and headed swiftly towards the Dungeon City of Doran.

As usual I was on Fer's back with Sui in her bag hanging from my shoulder while Dora-chan flew beside us, easily keeping up with Fer's incredible pace. It seemed Dora-chan's boast of being able to fly very quickly was not an idle one. After a while it started to get dark so I decided we should set up camp for the night and of course that meant dinner.

I wanted to check what I had ready to eat in my Item Box, hmmm... there was rice still hot from cooking and yes, the hamburgers made from Bloody Horn Bull and Orc General meat were in there too. That would make dinner simple, it would be Hawaiian style Loco Moco burgers.

First I bought eggs, lettuce, cucumber and cherry tomatoes at Net Super since I wanted veggies to go with the greasy main course. I chopped the lettuce up roughly, cut the cucumber in thin slanted slices and halved the cherry tomatoes. The eggs I fried sunny-side up, counting the portions out -- Fer and Sui would have three hamburgers so they'd each get three fried eggs. I estimated that Dora-chan would be good with two hamburgers going by what I had seen her eat previously so she got two eggs.

I put the hamburgers on dishes of white rice and then added the fried eggs with the raw salad veggies arranged around the side. I put out some mayonnaise to add if anyone wanted it but I left it off to start with.

"Dinner's ready!" I announced. Fer, Sui and Dora-chan all arrived in a rush. "Here it is, eat up." I said, putting the dishes down in front of them. "I'll mix it together a bit for you." It's a bit messy doing that but they couldn't use utensils so stirring everything up in the bowl makes it easier for them to eat.

"Can I eat it now?" Dora-chan asked impatiently, wings buzzing.

"Here you go." The Three Gluttons begin to eat.

"Tastes good, doesn't it? The veggies are nice and crunchy." Dora-chan commented as he stuffed his muzzle with food.

"Yeah, it really is!- It's got eggs too-" Sui and Dora-chan seemed to like it.

"Well, it's delicious but I prefer not having the vegetables." Fer grumbled telepathically but I noticed his jaws didn't slow down appreciably as his bowl emptied quickly, veggies or no veggies.

"Look Fer, vegetables are essential for Loco Moco. No vegetables, it's just not the same." I tried to explain.

"I think it's just tastier without the veggies." Fer harrumphed, obviously disagreeing with me on this point but I shrugged and dug into my own bowl of Loco Moco with extra veggies. Delicious! Fer didn't know what he was missing out on, I decided smugly.

After the first serving Dora-chan seemed to be full up, his little belly rounded out yet again. Fer and Sui had seconds, of course. I made Fer's dish without vegetables this time.

After we finished eating I took a little break then used earth magic to make a little box-shaped bedroom for the night.

"Everyone can go to sleep now. I've follow you later but I've got something to do."

"Well OK, but what is it you're up to?" Fer inquired.

"Oh, I was told you can eat Venom Tarantula but I've got no idea what it tastes like." I said. "Rodolpho-san said that the legs were delicious when they are boiled in salt water so I though I'd try cooking some to see what it tasted like. I can't really cook it properly if I don't know how it will come out after all."

"I see." Fer said. "I'm not that fond of eating bugs raw myself so I'm interested in how it might turn out if you boil it like the Guild Master said. I'll hang around and see what happens." Yeah right Fer, you just want to eat it, I thought to myself.

"What? Is there more tasty food? Sui will also eat it-"

"Hey, I'll eat it too!"

It seems that both Sui and Dora-chan wanted to eat it too, everybody volunteering for the tasting party. Ah well.

I had 64 Venom Tarantula legs in total. I decided to cook some of them as a test so I took 8 of them out of my Item Box, examining them closely. They were a dark purple colour, almost black and quite evil-looking. The hairs on the nape of my neck rose at the sight. Could I really cook something like this? They looked a bit like crab legs, I supposed, if I ignored the colour. Right then, to work.

I washed the legs then dunked them in a large pot filled with heavily-salted water and started to boil them as Rodolpho-san had suggested. As they cooked the hard shell of the legs turned red, looking more and more like a crab which was faintly reassuring.

"Boiling them is like boiling crab, but..." Don't think of it as a spider leg, this is from a crab, a crab right? Crab, crab, crab... I hooked them out of the pot and cracked the shells before cautiously nibbling on a bit of the meat inside. Crab meat. Crab -- oh, it actually tasted quite good, not unpleasant at all. Crab, maybe? Sort of, but not the same. The mouth feel, it was mushy, different to fibrous crab meat, what was it like? Ah, I got it, it was like kamaboko steamed fish paste, but crab-flavoured. Odd but not unpleasant.

"Hey, don't eat all of it yourself, give some to us." Fer demanded, eyes fixed on the pot.

"Oh, sorry, sorry." I apologised. I cracked out more Venom Tarantula meat and put it out for the three other members of the tasting committee who dug in with a will.

"Well, I think it tastes better boiled like this than the time before when I ate it raw." was Fer's judgement when he came up for breath.

"What the big guy said." Dora-chan chimed in. "I've eaten raw Venom Tarantula meat too and this is a lot nicer."

I bowed to their greater experience and decided I didn't want to try eating raw Venom Tarantula meat myself. Boiling it would be best, I decided.

"Yeah, it's delicious-" Sui chimed in. "But Sui likes red meat better?" Sui prefers animal-type meat, then?

"Like Sui says, I prefer the meat you've been serving up till now." Fer said.

"Me too. This insect meat is not bad but it's not the best." Dora-chan agreed.

I would definitely choose meat myself rather than crab-flavoured kamaboko, I must admit. However we still had 56 Venom Tarantula legs left in my Item Box. How could we use them up? Crab-flavoured candy? I shook my head, that wouldn't work. I decided to put off deciding what to do with the legs, they wouldn't go bad in storage. Say hello to Orthros-san and Chimera-san, Venom Tarantula-sans...

After cleaning up the cooking utensils and dishes I took a bath with Sui. I was surprised when Dora-chan said he wanted to take a bath with us. I figured it couldn't hurt so I wiped myself down with a wet towel while I got Sui to fill my bath (MY bath!) with water before heating it with a Fireball. Dora-chan floated around in the bath like Sui, obviously enjoying the hot water. It seemed Fer was the only one of us who disliked soaking in a bath (although I think he liked getting washed more than the mighty Fenrir-sama would admit).

After the refreshing bath everyone got into the futons I spread out and went to bed. Sleeping on futons on a journey is wonderful.

Sunday 2 December 2018

Ch 114 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 114 -- Venom Tarantula Subjugation Reward and Doran's Guild Master


We went to the Adventurers Guild early next morning to collect the Venom Tarantula subjugation fee among other things. When I showed my Guild card at the reception, the receptionist offered me a seat, saying "Please wait a moment as I call the Guild Master."

Rodolpho-san appeared shortly after. "Oh, you're bright and early. Let's go to the warehouse." He led the way to the Guild's warehouse where the young man with the damaged leg who was currently the chief dismantler for the Guild was waiting for us.

"That's well timed, I've just finished your order." he said with a tired smile. A large number of Venom Tarantula legs were piled up on the work table, a somewhat disgusting and gruesome sight.

"Right then, we'll take the Venom Tarantula legs as agreed." I put the Venom Tarantula legs in my Item Box, trying hard not to look too closely at the horrible things.

"To business then," said Rodolpho-san, "Here's the breakdown of what you're owed, beginning with the subjugation request. Because the Bruno Company was desperate the reward for this request is 320 gold coins. They're buying all eight thread sacs as I expected they would and there's eight Venom Tarantula poison sacs too, 440 gold coins for that lot plus the Giant Centipede's shell and its manastone which comes to 230 gold coins for a grand total of 990 gold coins." He grunted as he lifted three heavy bags of gold coins onto the table in front of me, thud, thud, thud. "Yosh, there they are."

The sight of all that money no longer surprised me which was somehow disappointing. It still didn't stop me storing the bags full of gold coins safely in my Item Box.

"So what are you going to do after this?" Rodolpho-san inquired.

"I think we will head to Doran now we've completed the request for you here." I answered.

"Oh? Well, I'm sorry. I wish you were going to stay around for a bit longer." Rodolpho-san's face registered his disappointment. If it had been up to me, Rodolpho-san I'd have preferred to stay here a bit longer too but the others all wanted to go dungeoneering in Doran. I personally wanted to spend as little time as possible in a Dungeon City, but...

"Fer and the others are all looking forward to Doran and its dungeon so they said we should set off as soon as possible."

"A Fenrir, an absurdly strong Slime and a Pixie Dragon?" Rodolpho-san pulled at his beard in thought. "You've got an impressive party to support you, no doubt about it even if they are first-timers."

No no no, that's not it. It's not me that wants to go to the dungeon, you see but... ah, no point trying to explain.

"Oh yeah, there's something I should tell ya, well warn you about." Rodolpho-san's voice dropped and he leaned in conspiratorially. "You remember how I mentioned an old colleague of mine earlier?"

"Oh, the one who knew everything about Dragons, you mean?" Rodolpho-san had mentioned him when he had first encountered Dora-chan, a Dragon Slayer who had been obsessed with discovering everything there was to know about Dragons. They had even found an illustrated book about Dragons in the National Library in the capital, with a picture of a Pixie Dragon.

"That's him. Ah, that guy, he's now Doran's Guild Master, y'see." Rodolpho-san seemed, well, embarrassed to be telling me this which was both worrying and confusing. So he and this guy, his old friend the Dragon Slayer had been in a party as Adventurers. They had both been promoted to Guild Master of different towns after they retired so it must have been a high-ranking party. But why the reticence?

"That's why, ummm..." Hmm? Rodolpho-san, normally forthright and open was hesitating. "As I said, he's someone who was obsessed about Dragons, and he still is from what I've heard, still hunting down any scrap of information about them, interrogating any travellers who pass by. And you..." I realised Rodolpho-san was looking at Dora-chan.

Oh, I see. If the Guild Master of Doran is the sort who's obsessed about Dragons to that extent and then I turn up with Dora-chan in tow...

"You think he'll be excited to see this Pixie Dragon?"

"Well... saying he'll JUST be excited to see this Pixie Dragon..." Rodolpho-san pursed his lips. "Word of advice, sonny. Be careful, OK? He's not a bad guy, you know, just..." he rocked his head back and forth, choosing his next words carefully. "Single-minded. That's it, single-minded, he goes a bit over the top when it comes to Dragons. You might want to remember that when you meet up with him. He's not really crazy, he's just... enthusiastic. OK?"

You seem to have had some bad experiences with your friend, Rodolpho-san. Is he really that troublesome? Yet you called him a friend. So... He's Doran's Guild Master so I can't ignore him or hide away from him, that would be impolite and impractical too. I don't understand his obsession with Dragons myself but I'll do what I can to intermediate since I'm the only one that can talk to Dora-chan. It would still be a good idea for me not to spend too much time at the Adventurer's Guild in Doran, I decided, just the minimum necessary to carry out any requests and deal with any disassembly I needed to get done.

"I'd like to say that he won't cause you any bother but..." Rodolpho-san conceded. "I apologise on his behalf in advance for his behaviour." That wasn't helping my peace of mind, Rodolpho-san. We were committed to going to Doran anyway though, and, I suddenly remembered, since the Guild Master in Carerina thought the Doran Guild's dismantlers could disassemble the Earth Dragon I had in my Item Box he had already been in touch with Doran's Guild Master, so Rodolpho-san's old friend the Dragon Slayer would know I was coming and I'd have that Dragon with me, never mind Dora-chan, a very much alive Pixie Dragon. My heart sank.

It seemed pretty certain that Doran's Guild Master (who I was beginning to dread encountering) was already waiting impatiently to meet with me.

Thursday 8 November 2018

Ch 113 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 113 -- Sukiyaki


When I got back to the inn all the food I had put out for my three contracted monsters had been vacuumed up, the plates left clean and sparkling. Everyone was sleeping soundly in the stables. Notably, Dora-chan was lying on his back because his belly was bulging. It seemed like the snacks I had left for them had been to his taste.

I decided to get on with preparing dinner without waking them up as it would be easier working without an audience staring over my shoulder all the time. Right then, I had promised Dora-chan we'd be eating delicious food tonight. It didn't take me long to decide on what to cook. I had thinly sliced a lot of Wyvern ​​meat before I left Carerina in preparation for making sukiyaki at a later date. Now seemed like a good time, it would be tasty and luxurious so Dora-chan wouldn't complain (probably).

First of all I had to shop at the Net Super. I bought three sukiyaki cooking pots along with three small stoves since I'd need them later. Veggies? Well, Chinese cabbage of course, leeks and enoki mushrooms and maybe some edible chrysanthemums? Yep, I decided. After that first order I added shirataki noodles, baked tofu and eggs. The sukiyaki sauce I bought ready-made, it tastes good and it saves me a lot of time.

First I prepared the raw ingredients. The leeks were cut diagonally 1 cm wide and the cabbage chopped roughly into easy-to-eat pieces. The chrysanthemums were cut about 5 cm long, the tofu similarly cut into chunks easily picked up with chopsticks. I broke up the enoki mushrooms after trimming the roots so they would fit into the sukiyaki pots. Once everything was ready I started the cooking process.

I heated up the big frying pan and added the Wyvern meat, letting its thick fat ooze out and provide the cooking oil I would have otherwise added to fry leaner meat. The green onions were next, sizzling away as I kept a careful eye on the Wyvern meat. I wanted it to cook through but not brown, just enough for it to change colour as I added a little sukiyaki sauce to the pan from the bottle. When the meat changed colour I took it out and put it to one side before adding more meat. Lots more meat. My two, no three gluttons were going to demand lots of meat, I was sure.

Once the spring onions were thoroughly cooked I turned down the heat a bit and added the other ingredients I had ready, shirataki noodles, grilled tofu, enoki mushrooms, Chinese cabbage and spring chrysanthemum and let them cook until they were ready to eat. Doing a real sukiyaki hotpot wasn't an option when my contracted monsters couldn't dip items in and out of boiling water using chopsticks. Instead I'd use the small stoves I'd just bought from the Net Super to keep the dishes hot for them and finish the cooking.

To make up for the lack of extra liquid I added raw eggs to each dish along with a generous dash of sukiyaki sauce. It was something I sometimes did for myself at home. For Fer and Sui I put two eggs each into their dishes. Dora-chan is a lot smaller than those two but I remembered the way he had gobbled up gyoza the night before so I put two eggs in his serving as well. I mixed the eggs into the mixture of Wyvern meat and lots of veggies, letting them cook slowly on a low heat and leaving them runny.

Time to wake the Three Gluttons, I decided as I turned but they already were lined up behind me in anticipation. Of course. Both Fer and Dora-chan were drooling. Of course. And was that sweat gleaming on Sui's skin or was it drool too? I decided not to think about it too much. Fer was a Bad Example to cute little Sui sometimes.

"Right, here you are." I took the dishes off the stoves and put them in front on the three hungry monsters. They dived in, unable to wait.

"This meat is tasty," Dora-chan said around a big mouthful.

"Umu, this sauce goes well with the meat. And there's egg too?" Fer tilted his head, considering the taste in the manner of an intrigued gastronome. "Hommm, the way it's blended in, quite delicious."

"Yeah yeah," Sui chimed in, "It's very delicious when meat and egg, sweet and salty come together-" It seemed sukiyaki was considered best if eaten it with raw eggs. As I watched them eat, especially Dora-chan I had a sudden horrible thought. Ah... Aren't Wyverns a subspecies of Dragon? I hadn't really considered that before, after all they looked more like a Pteranodon. Was it OK for Dora-chan to be eating a relative?

"Ummm Dora-chan," I interrupted the Pixie Dragon who raised its head, "That meat, it's Wyvern meat. Is it, is it okay for you to be eating it? I thought, you know, Wyverns were related to Dragons? Isn't it a bit, uh, like cannibalism?"

As I stumbled along trying to ask my question, Dora-chan burst out laughing.

"No member of the different species of Dragons will accept Wyverns are anything like them." Dora-chan explained, a smirk on his gravy-stained muzzle. "All Dragons as a whole are really smart, like me." He took a quick look into his mostly-empty bowl. "Stupid creatures like Wyverns can't be called Dragons no matter how tasty they are." He shrugged. "Anyway as far as we're concerned it would only be cannibalism if I ate another Pixie Dragon. This is a harsh world where only the fittest survive. If I had to I would eat anything except members of my own family." Dora-chan dived back into the bowl, eager to finish off his helping of Wyvern sukiyaki.

Dora-chan turned out to be unexpectedly savage despite his diminutively cute appearance, boldly stating he'd eat anything except his family, I mused as Fer chimed in.

"It is as Dora just said. In this world the weak are food for the strong. That's just how it is." Fer said, nodding in agreement with Dora-chan's cold-blooded assessment of how this world worked. It sounded quite brutal but I accepted it. Thanks to Fer who reigned at the top of this world's food pyramid we got to eat the finest and tastiest monster meat, after all.

"Don't think about it too hard, eat some of this yourself. It's really good." Dora-chan added. Well, of course it's good, Dora-chan, I made it after all, I thought to myself smugly. I started to dish out my own portion and-

"Seconds" came from Fer and Sui.

I didn't get to eat right away. Instead I made another portion of sukiyaki for the two (other) gluttons.

"I am so full up. That was delicious~." Dora-chan announced, settling back. "It turns out signing up to be your contracted monster was the right thing to do."

"Well, I'd have to agree with that." Fer said.

"Aruji's cooking is always tasty. Sui's happy to eat Aruji's delicious meals every day-" Sui added.

Dora-chan and Fer's attitude is that my cooking is the main reason they hang around with me but for me Sui's [Sui-sweetness] is the main reward for my efforts. Without Sui, well... Really, Sui-chan is too cute. Fer, he definitely isn't cute in any way whatsoever. Still, I'd miss him if we got separated. A bit. Some. Okay, more than a bit. Not cute though.

I finally got to eat some sukiyaki myself alongside a helping of white rice. I wanted to drink sake for the first time in a while so I went to the Net Super and bought some to go with the sukiyaki. As an aside the edible chrysanthemums were unpopular with Fer, Sui and Dora-chan so I ate the remainder by myself. The bitter sharpness of its taste wasn't to their liking somehow.

"Fuu, that was delicious."

"Sui's tummy is totally full-"

Finally both Fer and Sui seemed satisfied.

"So then Fer, once we get the purchase price for the Venom Tarantula subjugation at the Guild tomorrow, do you want to head for Doran right after?" I asked.

"Umu. I want to get to that dungeon as soon as possible." Dungeons, dungeons, dungeons, was that all he could think about?

"W- what? Are we going into a dungeon?" Dora-chan reacted to Fer's statement, leaping into the air (a little sluggishly, I noticed, his well-rounded belly an obvious hindrance) and buzzing around madly.

"Well, after we leave here we're heading for the Dungeon City of Doran. I'm really looking forward to entering the dungeon there since I've never been in a human Dungeon City's dungeon before." Fer explained.

"That sound like a lot of fun! It'll be my first time going into a human city's dungeon too!"

"Sui thinks dungeons are fun too~" Oh, darling Sui-chan too? Why are all these hangers-on saying they're looking forward to entering a dark dangerous dungeon? I'm not looking forward to it at all.

"Okay then, tomorrow we will go to the Guild early and then set off for Doran." I said, surrendering to the inevitable.

"Umu, that's good." Fer agreed.

I managed to persuade a sleepy Dora-chan to settle down in the beast stables with Fer again. Sui-chan got into her bag and I returned to my room with her safely concealed from the landlady's penetrating vision. It was settled, after finishing our business at the Guild tomorrow and getting paid we'd be leaving for Doran. Fer, Sui and even Dora-chan were looking forward to conquering the dungeon there so I was a bit worried that my stay in Doran was going to be a long one.

Friday 26 October 2018

Ch 112 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 112 -- Splurging on Clothes


The next day I dedicated to shopping, specifically to buy clothes. The shirts and trousers I had bought the first day I came to this town were more comfortable to wear than I ever imagined. I hadn't really noticed until now but what I had been wearing previously was stiff and harsh and rubbed against my skin whereas the new items were soft and comfortable like the best cotton clothing. Besides I really needed to wear the sort of clothing the people in this Kingdom wore so that I didn't stand out, so buying local clothing was a must.

There were a lot of small clothing stores in this town and I decided if I was going to visit several, no, a lot of them to find exactly what I wanted then having Fer, Sui and Dora-chan accompany me would be a mistake so I left them behind in the inn's beast stables. Dora-chan wasn't happy at my decision, flying around making buzzing noises and saying "You said you'd make me some delicious food today, you meanie."

"Dinner's later, at night." I explained. I put out some food for the Gluttonous Trio to hold them until my return and Dora-chan quietened down in a flash. Lots of tonkatsu sandwiches to start with, still hot from my Item Box followed by some sweet things from the Net Super, anpan, jam-filled and cream-filled buns with assorted drinks, (cola, cider and orange juice) poured out into dishes, enough for the three of them. Dora-chan turned out to be a proud member of the "Sweets Are Good!" party and after sampling the items on offer he clung to my face saying "Wow!"

After gently disengaging Dora-chan from my head I started out on my epic shopping expedition.

* * * * *

I walked down the street looking from side to side trying to decide what shops would be worth spending time in. Fer had been continually pestering me about dungeons so as soon as we received the subjugation request fee and purchase price for the Venom Tarantulas and the Giant Centipede we'd leave here for our next stop, the Dungeon City of Doran. That meant I only had one day left to do all my shopping. Since I was in a hurry I'd just buy what looked good and not dither or comparison shop. My item Box had lots of space and since I didn't know when I might be able to return to this city to buy more clothes here I planned to stock up with maybe 20 complete outfits.

"Oh, this looks good."

While walking down the street, some white shirts and dark grey trousers displayed in a shop window caught my eye so I went in. I noticed them because they looked the same as the good-quality clothes I had bought the day before, not that they stood out for other reasons.

A clerk appeared as soon as I entered the store. I pointed to the items in the shop window and asked about them.

"Do you like the look of these?" he inquired politely. "They're simple designs but very popular."

The shirt was a basic long-sleeved design with a stand-up collar and the trousers looked like chinos. The fact they were popular made them more attractive to me since I didn't want to stand out. I decided quickly.

"Yes, please give me this shirt and those trousers. I'd like to see some others too..."

The clerk showed me more shirts and trousers. The shirts were mostly white, ivory and beige coloured, made of natural materials and left undyed. Any colours other than the three regular shades cost a lot more because of the dyeing process, according to the clerk. I didn't care, white and light colours generally would be easier to match. Back home I only ever wore white shirts anyway, for work and leisure.

The trousers were conversely in many dark colors -- olive green, dark brown, dark grey, dark blue, black etc. The reason for the dark shades was simple, dirt and stains were less visible on such fabrics according to the clerk. Most roads in this world aren't paved or even cobbled. Just walking around coats your legs with dust and grime which would show up quickly on light-coloured trousers.

I had no problem personally with dark coloured trousers, after all before I came to this world, my clothes choices were not stylish or fashionable, indeed they were quite plain and unremarkable. Thinking about it, what caught my eye in these shops was almost the same as what I'd have chosen in the previous world.

I chose more white and beige shirts and a pair each of olive, dark brown, Navy blue and black trousers to go with the grey pair I purchased first. In total that was five shirts and five pairs of trousers which cost me 17 gold coins and 5 silver coins.

I left the store as the clerk thanked me profusely for my custom and went back to the street and started looking around again. The next store I went into I bought two shirts and 10 pairs of trousers, and the next... In the end I bought over 40 sets of shirts and trousers, a lot more than I had intended but that left me well-stocked for the future. I turned back towards the inn, remembering I had promised Dora-chan a delicious dinner tonight. Time to cook.

Friday 19 October 2018

Ch 111 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 111 -- Registration of Dora-chan as a Contracted Monster


We ran into a problem when we tried to enter the city. Dora-chan was small sure enough but he still looked like a Dragon and that attracted attention, not surprisingly.

I explained to Gatekeeper-san that Dora-chan was a new contracted monster and he wouldn't cause any problems but the guard wasn't ready to accept my unsupported word.

"Looky here, sonny," Gatekeeper-san pointed to the part of my Guild card which had Fer and Sui listed as my contracted monsters. "No Dragon." He handed my card back to me. "No entry." He crossed his arms firmly. Until Dora-chan was listed on my Guild card as a contracted monster he wouldn't be able to accompany us into the city. Realising it would be useless to argue my way past them I gave up and asked one of the gatekeepers to go and fetch Rodolpho-san, the Guild Master of the city's Adventurers Guild to vouch for me.

"Right then," Rodopho-san said as he strode up to the gate a few minutes later, "What's happening here?" The gatekeepers stepped back to let him through to talk to me.

"Well," I explained again, "I've got a new contracted monster with me and that's causing us problems getting into the city..."

"Oh, ah, that's a P- Pixie Dragon?" Rodolpho-san burst out as he caught sight of Dora-chan.

"Oh, I'm surprised you recognise it. I was told it's a very rare kind of monster."

"Well you see, long time ago an old friend of mine was a Dragon Slayer." Rodolpho-san explained, studying the hovering figure of the Pixie Dragon. "He spent a lot of time researching Dragons and he wouldn't stop talking about them to me... Anyways he mentioned Pixie Dragons, said they were a sub-species of Dragon. I got interested in Dragons myself, we went looking for any information on them and eventually we found an illustrated book about different kinds of Dragons in the National Library at the Royal Capital." Rodolpho-san and his Dragon Slayer colleague sounded quite dedicated types.

"Were the Pixie Dragons listed in that book?" I asked. "Fer told me this was the first one he'd come across in 500 years so they must be pretty rare."

"Yup." Rodolpho-san said. "I need to check, is everything OK between you two?"

"Well ... I've made a proper contract with the Pixie Dragon if that's what you're asking."

Rodolpho-san turned his gaze to Fer. "Well, you made a contract with a Fenrir earlier, so..." He thought for a moment. "And I figure the Fenrir wouldn't stay quiet if he saw there was a problem with you making a contract with the Dragon." 

"Of course." Fer agreed. "I'd never forgive myself if I let him mess up and get killed. That's because the food he cooks is the best." Hey Fer, stop boasting.

"Oh, the food you cook?..." Rodolpho-san said inquiringly.

"Rodolpho-san, please don't ask any more questions." I begged.

"Oh, gotcha." However Rodolpho-san's face showed he was thinking hard about what Fer had blurted out. Bad idea, Fer. I was meeting too many gluttonous characters in my travels, that was my big problem.

Rodolpho-san turned to the gatekeepers. "I'll guarantee these guys, please let them into the city."

"If the Guild Master says it's safe we'll let you in. Just don't cause any trouble, please." The gatekeepers stepped aside and we entered the town.

"So what about the subjugation request for Venom Tarantula?" Rodolpho-san asked as we walked towards the Adventurers Guild.

"Of course we got them but we only brought back the bodies of the monsters. Shouldn't we have gathered the webs?" I had wondered about that just after we had left the forest but it was too late to go back again.

"The webs the Venom Tarantulas weave are sticky threads," Rodolpho-san explained. "The web-thread material stored in sacs in a Venom Tarantula's belly isn't sticky and that's what's wanted. Just how that material is made into thread for weaving is a closely guarded secret and there are only a few craftsmen who can do so. Bruno Company is the only local business with such workers."

Oh, so that's how it is? Thinking about it the spider web stretched over the trees was sticky because it was there to capture prey. Just thinking how it must feel to get tangled up in something like that made me shiver.

"Oh, that's right, you asked us to get two specimens but we actually got eight. Will you buy them all from us?"

"Oh, eight Venom Tarantulas, really?" Rodolpho-san thought for a moment. "I can't be certain but I believe Bruno Company will be happy to buy in all the ones you have." He laughed. "It would have been a simple task for a Fenrir to catch so many, and what's more do it all in a single day." Well Fer is a legendary monster, I thought to myself but Sui is a super strong Slime too, remembering how she had one-hitted the Giant Centipede. I wondered what Rodolpho-san would think if I told him about the Giant Centipede I had in my Item Box. We reached the Adventurers Guild while I was still pondering whether to tell him about it or not.

"First of all, let's register that Pixie Dragon as your contracted monster." Rodolpho-san declared as he pushed the door open. As we entered after him we were the centre of attraction of the people inside, well Dora-chan was.

"Oh, that, is that Dragon?" "Is it a baby Dragon?" "Even if it's a baby Dragon, is it safe?" I heard various voices whispering as we walked through the crowd. Dora-chan sensed the watching eyes and cried "Kyui Kyui" softly as if he was pleased to be noticed. Show-off, I thought silently.

Rodolpho-san banged on a table, attracting everyone's attention. "Right everyone, listen up. That Dragon there is a contracted monster of this guy here." He hooked his thumb at me. "Don't mess with the Dragon or its master and everything will be fine. Mess with them and you'll have HIM to deal with." He pointed to Fer who had snuck in behind us silently while everyone's eyes were fixed on Dora-chan. More than one Adventurer's face turned white as they realised they were looking at a Fenrir. Fer was actually quite good at sneaking and if he didn't want to be noticed it was surprising just how well a large monster like him could blend in to the scenery. I wondered if there was a magic Camouflage spell he used sometimes.

"As you can see, this guy's got another contracted monster like that Dragon but a lot stronger. You don't want to make him angry." There was a murmur of assent from the crowd, some of whom were edging towards the door as Fer slowly swept them with a cold stare. He didn't bare his fangs, quite but he didn't really need to. Rodolpho-san looked the crowd over and then nodded, satisfied he had got his message across. It seemed that the Guild Master ran a tight ship in this city.

"Okay, now that's sorted let's get your contracted monster registered." Rodolpho-san held out his hand. "Come on, hurry up, I need your Guild card." It didn't take long and once Dora-chan's name and type, Pixie Dragon had been added to my Guild card and officially recorded by the receptionist then it was time to sort out selling the monsters in my Item Box so we went back to the warehouse area behind the purchasing window. It looked very similar to Johan-ojisan's warehouse back in Carerina. I supposed most Adventurers Guilds buildings were constructed similarly, they'd all need a warehouse like this.

"If it isn't the Guild Master? Is anything wrong?" The speaker was a muscular young man in his mid-20s. I looked closely and noticed he was dragging his right foot. I guessed he was a retired Adventurer, perhaps sidelined due to an injury. He seemed to be the dismantler for this city's Guild, like Johan-ojisan in Carerina. After Rodolpho-san explained why we were there the man pointed at a big bench.

"Okay, put the Venom Tarantulas there." I took them out of my Item Box.

"Wow, there are eight of them." the young man exclaimed. He seemed easily surprised.

"Oh, I've also got a Giant Centipede if you'll purchase it." I added.

"You also subjugated a Giant Centipede?" the young man said, his jaw dropping. I took out the Giant Centipede from the Item Box and put it beside the Venom Tarantulas.

"I, a Giant Centipede, this is the first time..." he was incoherent, his eyes popping at the sight.

"It's been a while since this Guild has had one of these brought in." Rodolpho-san said, gazing at the giant insect's corpse. He poked his hand into the hole in the Giant Centipede's head where its brain had been. "This monster's shell is as hard as the finest armour. What kind of attack caused this?"

Well, you see, Sui...

"Sui did it, yo, great-?" Sui jumped out of her bag and bounced around the warehouse. So you're awake, Sui?

"I'm guessing but," Rodolpho-san said shrewdly, "was it that Slime that killed the Giant Centipede?"

"Well, ah-" I didn't want to admit it but the Guild Master was not stupid. Besides I suspected he'd got a report from Willem, the Guild Master of Carerina about Sui as well as Fer. Well, since Sui was awake I decided to introduce her to Dora-chan.

"Sui, this is a new friend, Dora-chan," I said to Sui telepathically.

"Wow~ it's flying, amazing! Hey, my name's Sui. Dora-chan, nice to meet you!"

"Oh, nice to meet you too!" Dora-chan replied. They seemed to hit it off with each other very well.

While I was arranging the introductions telepathically Rodolpho-san was consulting with the Guild's dismantler about purchasing the monsters we had brought in.

"Since there's a few more than we were expecting it'll take us until the day after tomorrow before we can pay you." Rodolpho-san finally said.

"Yes, that's fine." I agreed. "I want to look around and shop for clothes in this town. Ah," I remembered suddenly, "The Venom Tarantulas, the legs are edible so we won't be selling them. Other than those parts you can purchase all of what we brought you."

Fer had said that Venom Tarantula legs were edible although the idea sounded revolting to me. The Guild was buying the bodies mainly for the thread sacs and we didn't want any of the other parts like the head so they could deal with all the rest.

"I understand." Rodolpho-san nodded. "The legs are delicious when boiled in salt water. The primary objective of our request was to provide Bruno Company with the thread they need so that is satisfactory."

"Well, I'll come back the day after tomorrow then."

"Oh, and if you're looking for clothing, this town is the best." Rodolpho-san said, obviously proud of his city's reputation for cloth weaving and tailoring. "You can get good quality clothing here at bargain prices." I wondered if Rodolpho-san came from a family of Dwarf Merchants as we left the Adventurers Guild, heading for the Spinning Wheel Inn and rest.

* * * * *

An argument broke out when we got to the inn.

"Fer and you have to stay in the beast stables, Dora-chan." I explained. As I said that Fer walked in and lay down on the futon I had spread out for him in his stall.

"Well, are you coming in?" Fer said over his shoulder. Dora-chan hovered around outside, obviously unwilling to stay in the stables. I tried to explain.

"Even though you're really small it would be impossible to have a Dragon in the room I sleep in."

"What? I'm really small, you admit it. You won't let me sleep in your room but you let Sui sleep there, don't you? You're a big meanie."

"It's OK for Sui to stay in my room because she's hidden in her bag. If I go into the inn with a Dragon flying about, no matter how small it is then the landlady who runs the place will get mad at me."

"Ummm, why would she?" I sighed. Dora-chan was obviously not well acquainted with landladies. "I wanted to  go into an inn for humans." Dora-chan said morosely.

"You'll be fine staying in the stable here with Fer, really. Be patient and I'll make you some really delicious food tomorrow, I promise." I saw Fer's ears prick up as I said that. Oops.

"Eh, you're going to make tasty food?! Hooray! Hyakko-!" Dora-chan buzzed joyfully around me. The promise of food cheered Dora-chan up immediately.

"I'll put up with sleeping in the beast stables tonight." Dora-chan flew into Fer's stall. "Hey, move over you big lump." Fer rolled over to make space for the Pixie Dragon to settle on the futons. "Do you snore?"

Fer sighed histrionically. "I'll put up with this pipsqueak for now but," he turned his head to glare at me, "the food tomorrow had better be delicious."

"Well, see you tomorrow." Dora-chan said as he tucked his head under a wing.

"The same." Fer said grumpily. I closed the door, thinking that maybe Dora-chan would be easier to deal with than I had expected. Food was the key to keeping Dora-chan contented, just like Fer and Sui. The downside was that I now had three gluttons to cater for. Ah well.

Saturday 13 October 2018

Ch 22 Sakyubasu ni Tensei Shita no de Miruku o Shiborimasu (Because I Reincarnated as a Succubus, I’ll Squeeze Out Milk)

Ch 22 -- My First Level Up

~ What has gone before ~

· I am taking a bath with my older sister. (※ blindfold SM play)
· For some reason the hero(ine) has come to be trusted by his/her older sister (explanation to follow).

* * * * *

"Judging people on their outward appearance is a silly, even dangerous thing to do." Sumirena-san explained. "When you've been dealing with customers for as long as I have you learn to observe people accurately and make your decisions on how to deal with them on that basis alone."

I listened carefully to my more experienced elder sister, grateful for her words.

"No-one alive doesn't try to cheat or exaggerate somehow in front of others." Sumirena-san said dismissively. "The way they dress, the way they speak, their posture, mannerisms, whatever they can use to raise their value in other people's eyes even a little, I've seen it all."

Most young people like myself wouldn't know this sort of thing so when I heard Sumirena-san explain how she observed people around her I could only listen silently and nod in agreement.

"Women are especially deceitful, skilled at putting forward a false appearance so if you're not aware of this and don't view them critically then you will certainly be misled." She paused. "However in Richy-chan's case you were too honest to be true so I wrongly suspected you of having ulterior motives."

I was being too honest? "I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologise. To tell you the truth it's refreshing to come across someone who doesn't put on airs or present a false front to me. I'm tired of dealing with that sort working in the tavern day after day... the fact is I worry that I might turn into someone like that myself if I'm not careful. Is it really that simple?"

Sumirena-san told me a little about their parents' death. She wasn't specific when this happened but it was why,  at twenty years old she was working in the tavern with just Erim for company. My inexperienced hikikomori self couldn't imagine how hard life had been for her. I felt a fierce determination to lighten their burden if I was going to live here. What could I do to help though?

"Sumirena-san, will having me staying here with you make you feel better?"

"Of course. I'm feeling better already. Having Richy-chan staying here is very soothing." Hearing her say that brought a warm feeling to my heart.

"But you were suspicious of me before, convinced I was a conniving would-be freeloader, what changed your mind about me?" I was still puzzled about her abrupt decision to accept me into her home so wholeheartedly.

"Well I did think that way earlier, I must admit but what I saw of you convinced me otherwise."

"W- what did you say?" I was confused (again).

"As I told you before everyone, and especially women, take care to appear well-groomed to others but in Richy-chan's case it was different. You hadn't enhanced or tidied yourself, it was a purely natural appearance with no womanly artifice. It looked stunning."

Did I look like that? When? Where? All Sumirena-san had done was to lift my skirt up after all.

"At first glance I sensed the delicate vitality that lurked amidst that golden shining wheat field, superior to the finest silk thread."

"W- what? You're being a bit too poetic for me... exactly what are you talking about?" I asked, intrigued.

"Your pubic hair, silly." Sumirena-san said abruptly.

"I've never heard it described like that!!" I burst out, offended. Wheat field? Silk? "And anyway what's the deal!? Do women really care about the appearance and shape of, of, that, ah, triangle-!?"

"Well, yes they do. After all they never know when a... companion might see it and leaving it ragged and untidy might spoil the mood."

"Stop joking and be serious for once!" I protested.

"Oh I am being serious. It was obvious at a glance, Richy-chan that you hadn't trimmed or styled your hair lower down but in your case it was so beautiful in its natural state that it displayed a visual dynamism unique in my experience."

"Please stop, I don't want to hear this!" I begged but Sumirena-san would not be deterred.

"Anyway that's why I trusted Richy-chan after a single glance."

"And that's the only reason you trusted meeee!" I couldn't believe what she had said.

"Don't be depressed, Richy-chan, it's pointless to worry about such things." Sumirena-san chided me. "I'm really pleased that I met Richy-chan and I'm sure Erim is too. My secret dream of having a younger sister has come true."

"Dream? Did you wish to have a younger sister who's actually a guy?" I protested.

"You're a guy? Really? You've got the pubic hair of a beautiful girl that's never been touched by a razor and you say you're a guy?"

"I'm feeling dizzy, let me go!" I wanted to escape.

"No chance, Richy-chan, don't be so hasty." Sumirena-san said with a laugh. " We've not even got into the bathtub yet, you can't be feeling light-headed already."

"Hiiii!!" I was in big trouble. This woman, I was coming to realise, was the most perverted person I had ever encountered by far. I tried to stand up to escape her clutches but Sumirena-san suddenly hugged me from behind. It was like a violent earthquake. A squishy soft sensation, TWO squishy soft sensations pressed into my back. Okay they were quite small breasts compared to my own Succubus-sized breasts but they were breasts, a woman's breasts, a real woman's breasts that weren't my own breasts...

"Wait- Waaaaaaaaa!! Sumirena-san, it's not good to cling to me like that when you're naked! I- I can- I can feel theeeeeem!!!"

"Umu, aren't you the lucky one?" Sumirena-san teased. I thought she said she wouldn't do things like that. "Nice, aren't they? I'm only pressing lightly, just a little, don't be embarrassed."

"How can I not be embarrassed!? Sumirena-san, I can't be calm no matter what you say!"

"There there now, just settle back and enjoy it..." My landlady is a pervert, or did I forget to tell you? I tried to resist her embrace, twisting and squirming but it just made things worse with "those" pressing on my back sometimes firmly, sometimes softly and seemingly changing shape moment to moment. And then her hands came round to grasp my front...



"This is bad, seriously, I'm telling you Sumirena-san! If I still had my man's body, surely...!"

"You'd be having an erection?" Sumirena-san guessed shrewdly.

"I'm feeling something I shouldn't be able to feel!" I cried, confused as Sumirena-san's hands kept moving over my body.

"That's very interesting." Sumirena-san's hands paused for a moment, something that was perhaps even worse than when they had been moving a moment earlier. "You don't have a male penis any more but you believe something should be getting engorged anyway from the stimulation you're experiencing. Hmmm... I suppose you could call it a phantom penis erection?"

"Please don't just make up words like that!" I objected. "Where would you use such a phrase anyway!?" What she had said brought pictures into my mind though, making things even worse for me. I could FEEL it now she had put a name to it...

"Richy-chan, don't you want to get used to having a woman's body as soon as possible?" Sumirena-san queried. "I'll work diligently with you to help you achieve this, so let's explore a little more." Her hands started moving again, downwards...

"Yaa, stop... No, not there... Ah, wait! Hold on... no, not that place! Not inside... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ah, hyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" In my mind I suddenly saw the image of a falling camellia petal.



At some point in my useless struggle I lost consciousness. I'm not sure but my cries of grief and anguish (which went on for the best part of an hour, if my memory was correct) must have inconvenienced the local neighbourhood's night-time rest.

* * * * *

When I woke up I was in a bed by myself. It seemed to be a private room prepared for me. It was a simple room with white wallpaper, furnished with only the bed and one small chest and a water jug and bowl. A thin peach colored curtain decorated the window. I could see starlight in a dark sky outside through a gap in the curtains. It seemed that not much time had passed since I had been brought here as my skin still felt flushed and prickly from Sumirena-san's earlier attentions. I was wearing simple pajamas, nothing more risque or revealing as I had feared. I vaguely remember that Sumirena-san brought me here after I fainted in the bathroom.

"I'm mega~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ worn out..." I couldn't sleep but I was still exhausted from what had happened to me in such a short time. In one single day I had been killed, reincarnated, nearly raped (twice!) and then molested by an older sister (adopted). That's leaving out a whole raft of other things, of course -- for example I thought my features were monstrous and horrific but it turned out I was better looking than any gravure idol with a million-selling photobook. Waaay better looking. And before you say it, for the 17-year-old male hikikomori like me inside this body that's another minus point, not a plus.

Even now, lying in the bed staring at the ceiling my heavy breasts pressed down on me disturbingly, preventing me from sleeping easily. It was the first time in my life I'd tried to sleep with such massive objects on my chest constantly reminding me of their presence and it was not going well. My wings were crushed uncomfortably under me which was another source of distraction. I tried turning on my side but my horns got in the way, catching in the pillow and wedging my head up, straining my neck. The way my breasts slumped when I turned sideways didn't help either. Lying face down... squish. Nope.

"...I really want to quit being a Succubus." I muttered. Saying that though I wondered about my current Status. It made depressing reading when I made it appear before my eyes. My Job Title was still [ Unemployed ]. However...

 [ Level ]  2 (0/2)

What? My Level had risen from 1 to 2. How had that happened?

"...Surely I needed to have had sex to raise my level... That's what the receptionist at the Reincarnation Support Department said, anyway..." Maybe she had been bullshitting me, I hadn't had sex had I? The rape attempts hadn't succeeded after all. I gave up thinking about it as I finally drifted off to sleep at the end of my eventful first day in a different world.

* * * * *

※ "phantom penis erection" is not an officially recognised technical term in TS stories (probably).