Saturday, 14 July 2018

Ch 93 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 93 -- Mukouda, Buying a Bath.


I headed for the Irario Company's store the next morning, accompanied by Fer. According to Lambert-san it was the only shop in the city that sold baths. His directions to get there were on spot-on but it was a big shop and not easy to miss regardless. I stopped to admire its impressive architecture for a moment before I went in.

A store clerk dressed in a smart uniform turned to greet us as we entered. His expression froze as he caught sight of Fer, not surprising for anyone first on seeing such a large monster. He recovered his aplomb quickly though as you might expect from someone trained to be a salesman in such a high-class establishment and he quickly came forward to greet us.

"Can I assist you in finding what you want?" He was very polite.

"Uh, can you show me some baths?"

"Baths, certainly. Please come this way."

It was pretty clear store-clerk-san didn't think I looked wealthy enough to afford a bath but he seemed fine with letting me look around. I followed him into an area of the shop at the back where there were a number of baths lined up on display. There were three sizes of bath, large, medium and small. The one I had seen in Lambert-san's house was a small-sized bath, it seemed. I thought about it and decided that a similarly-sized bath would suit me. Even stretching out by myself I'd fit nicely into such a bath.

"A small bath is enough..." I muttered, looking at the range of baths on offer.

"We have several such baths in stock so please take a look." The store clerk overheard my comment and quickly directed my attention towards the small baths on display. He really knew his stuff, I thought to myself gratefully as I looked them over.

The first one was the cheapest, a simple pottery-brown-coloured one costing 300 gold coins. As Lambert-san had said, baths were quite expensive, even the most basic ones. The next bath I looked at was a deep green colour, a very relaxing shade but it cost 370 gold coins. A different colour made the price rise significantly. I asked the store clerk and he explained that making a large piece of pottery like a bath with a smooth uniform colour was very tricky and this resulted in an increased cost.

Although colored baths were more expensive, they were more attractive than the simple pottery-coloured one and since I had a lot of cash on hand I decided the green one would be on my list. The next one I examined was a pure white bath. It looked like a normal bath like the one I had back home in Japan and it had an air of hygienic cleanliness about it. It cost 430 gold coins, even more than the green-coloured bath I had my eye on.

The clerk explained that this white-coloured bath was a new product, only recently coming on to the market. In order to produce the white colour a special material was mixed in with the clay. That material was rare and expensive hence the higher price for the finished product.

The next bath I looked at was a luxurious model with a floral painted finish under the glaze. It looked expensive but I was still surprised when I saw the price tag -- it cost 500 gold coins. It seems that it's harder to paint such decorations rather than simply colouring the pottery with a single colour and it takes considerable artistic skill to achieve an attractive effect. There weren't many craftsmen who could do such a fine job hence the higher price. I appreciated its looks but it was the sort of bath a nobleman's home might boast to display his wealth and taste to others. I'd be taking my bath with me as I travel so such elegance would be pointless. I turned back to my first candidate, the deep green bath. Yosh.

"Excuse me but I'd like to buy this green bath." I said to the store clerk.

The store clerk was a bit surprised that an ordinary-looking guy like me who just walked in off the street wanted to buy something as expensive as a bath with so little hesitation but he was a professional and rallied quickly.

"It costs 370 gold coins, you understand." Does someone like me have 370 gold coins to pay for a bath? was what he was obviously thinking but he was very polite and didn't let his doubts show.

He he he, thanks to Fer-sama's hard work that amount is small change to me.

"Yes, it costs 370 gold coins, right?" I took out two hemp bags from my Item Box. The bigger bag held 300 gold coins and I took 70 more gold coins out of the smaller bag before presenting them to the astonished shop clerk.

"W- well, allow me to verify the amount, customer-sama." The clerk counted the gold coins carefully, stacking them in piles of ten on the counter.

"...370 gold coins..." He nodded. "Yes, that's the correct sum. Would you like us to deliver the bath to your home?" He was smiling broadly now and I wondered if he worked on commission. Ganbatte, store-clerk-san and perhaps next time you'll not pre-judge a customer by his appearance.

"No, it's okay, I'll put it in my Item Box and take it with me. I won't need it delivered." Besides, I was living in an inn and I didn't have a home like Lambert-san's to have it delivered to.

"Ho, having an Item Box, how I envy you."

"This bath will just about fill it up though, but it comes in handy." Actually my Item Box seemed to be almost unlimited in capacity -- it currently contained half a flock of Wyverns as well as a mountain of meat from the herd of Bloody Horn Bulls and other monsters Fer had subjugated (not to mention Chimaera-san and Orthros-san) but I wasn't going to let others know just how big it was if I could help it. Of course people like Johan-ojisan and the Guild Master knew but I didn't want it more widely known as that could become troublesome.

I put the bath in my Item Box and politely thanked the clerk for his assistance as he escorted me to the door of Irario Company's store. Success! The long-awaited bath was mine!

Once I was away from the entrance of the Irario Company's store (and hopefully out of sight of store-clerk-san) I spontaneously struck a victory pose, my hands raised in V-signs. I couldn't help it. Yahoo, I had a bath!

"What are you acting so happy about..." Fer asked, puzzled by my behaviour. I couldn't explain it, he wasn't Japanese so he could never understand but Japanese people and baths are, well... I had finally fulfilled my heart's desire, I had bought a bath. Now to use it, but... ah, there was nowhere in the city I could actually take a bath, was there? The inn, no... We'd have to go outside the city somewhere.

"Hey Fer, I want to take a bath. Let's go out of town to a quiet place in the forest, somewhere there's no Adventurers or monsters around. Can you find me somewhere like that?"

"Outside the city, that's nice." Fer was a country boy at heart. "Right then, climb on me."

Friday, 6 July 2018

Ch 92 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 92 -- No More Than 3 Silver Coins Each


"I've gotta make an offering to the Goddesses soon or they're gonna start bothering me again." I suddenly realised. It was evening, I'd finished eating, Fer was resting in the inn's beast stables and Sui was sleeping peacefully in her bag, dreaming away. Better get it over with. I'd just opened Net Super to start selecting items for the offering when a Voice sounded in my head.

"Hoy, other-world-guy-kun, can you hear me? Send us offerings and be quick about it." That didn't sound like Deplorable-sama--

"Is this Agni-sama speaking to me?"

"Yup." She sounded impatient but maybe that's how she always sounded.

"I am just about to get you all some offerings," I explained. "Please wait a moment."

"Right then, and send me two cans of beer like you were drinking earlier."

"Hold on, am I supposed to send you alcohol? I thought I was told alcohol was a no-no last time I made an offering..."

"This is Ninril." Ah, deplorable goddess-sama, right on cue. "This one time it's all right, as a special case. But only two cans, mind."

A special case? I suppose if it's like that then it should be fine but--.

"Oh, and while you're about it, well, you remember that it was me, Ninril, who was the Goddess who first gave you her blessing so, well, because of that I want you to increase the amount of sweets you send us. Dorayaki especially, no limit on those, you know. Oh, but keep this confidential and don't let the others know I told you to do it."

Ninril-sama, what are you asking for this time, and why are you being so sneaky about it? Everyone should get a fair share, that was what you all agreed last time--

"Me, me. Earth Goddess Kishar here. Hey, other-world-guy-kun, it was pretty interesting seeing the stuff you're selling down there. That soap, shampoo and conditioner and wow! those hair wraps  too. I want you to send some of that to me as well~. Pleeeease." the new voice hesitated for a moment. "Oh, and don't tell the other Goddesses about this."

...Kishar-sama, you too? I'm disappointed in you. I thought that Ninril-sama was the only deplorable Goddess...

"...it's me, Rusalka. Food looks delicious. I also want to eat food. Give me food. This is a secret."

Ruka-sama... Are all the Goddesses of this world the same? Are they all deplorable-samas? They're telling me to send them things and to keep it a secret from the others but--

"Ahem-. Goddess-samas, I hate to break it to you but you're all demanding special items and wanting me to keep it secret from the others. You do realise that I'll be sending the offerings all in one go and you'll all see everything I sent when it arrives?"

There was a long pause.

"Ha-, you got a point".

"Oops, that's true."

"...Eheheh..."

"Hey you lot, what were you trying to pull?" Agni-sama sounded mad.

"No, no, Agni,  it's just..."

"Oh, ummm, you see, it's like, you know, ahhh..."

"............"

"You mean that you all requested other things you wanted?" Agni-sama sounded like she was about to blow her top. The Goddess of Fire, did that include volcanoes in her job description? "You sneaky--. Right then, If it's like that then I get what I want too."

"Does that mean alcohol? I've told you before why that's a bad idea."

"That's right, absolutely no alcohol, we agreed you know."

"...Booze, no good"

"Humph. They asked for what they wanted, why am I in the wrong for doing the same?" I distinctly heard the sound of knuckles cracking. "Right then, other-world-guy-kun, I want alcohol. Beer, premium beer, two cans and right away."

"I still say it's a bad idea."

"That's right, you know."

"...Not good"

The voices of the selfish Goddess-samas resounded in my aching head. I figured I had to step in or they'd go on arguing like this for eternity with me stuck in the middle listening to them bicker. I shuddered, no way. I tuned them out temporarily while I came up with a plan. Snacks up to three hundred yen? Yeah, that might work, after all they're acting like elementary schoolkids on a class outing...

"Hey hey, everyone quiet down." I interrupted. "Last time I made an offering, you all shared what I sent you, right? "

"No, that's..."

"But, I want something to make me more beautiful, not just sweets..."

"Sweets are good, but food..."

"Beer and snacks are better than confectionery..."

Huh, everyone wants what they want and they don't want to share. Elementary schoolkids? Nope, kindergardeners. I sighed.

"Okay, I understand. Each of you now wants me to offer you different things, right?" Silence, which I took to be agreement. "It's impossible for me to offer up infinite amounts of anything, yes?" Silence again. "So if you tell me what you want and it only costs up to three silver coins each then I will offer it to you."

The Goddesses would argue forever, literally if I didn't lay down some rules about the offerings. Setting a budget and spending the same amount for each of them was one way to make it seem fair.

"Three silver coins, that's too little you know. I tell you it should be more than that."

"Oh, only three silver coins, not enough..."

"I want a little bit more..."

"...(nods vigorously)"

"Nope, three silver coins worth of weekly offerings each, I think that's enough." I had to be firm. They seemed to be willing to accept the idea of a budget which was something to be thankful for but I was making a big concession, agreeing to spend as much as three silver coins each on their offerings as it was. Time to finish it.

"If you don't like that idea then I'll return your blessings and we can call it quits..." I bluffed.

"Wait, wait, waitwaitwait. You can give us offerings worth three silver coins. Three silver coins are enough, please!"

"Well, okay. Three silver coins are enough. We can accept that."

"Oh, ah. Thumbs up, three silver coins of offerings a week are enough."

"...Good with only 3 silver coins."

They all agreed quickly and I breathed a (silent) sigh of relief. For some reason the omnipotent Goddesses who could read my thoughts and see my every action had fallen for my bluff. Could I actually return the blessings after they'd been bestowed anyway?

"Right then, I'll take your requests, each in turn please. If you all ask at once I won't know who wants what."

"Well, I gave you my blessing before the others did, and I'm also the oldest Goddess here so me first." Ninril-sama, are you really the Goddess-sempai? Surely not...

"I desire sweets. Dorayaki, as much as possible." Well, that's simple, just like Ninril-sama. Uh, not simple, ummm consistent. If she keeps eating such sweet things she'll soon be overweight but that's her choice. I bought ten pieces of dorayaki from the Net Super along with assorted cakes, pudding and chocolate and then I added a sweet cola drink to the shopping cart so that the order came to 3 silver coins in total. One down.

"Who is next?" I asked.

"If you go by age, it's me, Kishar. What I want is the soap, shampoo, conditioner and hair masks you recently started selling."

"Oh, that's no problem but there are various kinds of shampoo and conditioner depending on your hair type and  its condition. You understand?"

"Huh? Are there truly so many kinds?" Kishar-sama seemed amazed.

"Yes, there are dozens of different treatments to deal with all sorts of hair problems. If you don't mind, can you tell me about the current state of your hair and I can perhaps choose what's most suitable for you, Kishar-sama."

"Really? Well, right now my hair is very dry and frizzy. It's a pain making it presentable every morning."

It sounded like her hair was lacking moisture and with split ends. What she needed to deal with that was a non-silicone oil shampoo, a moisturising conditioner to match and a premium hair wrap treatment which cost nine copper coins each. I added in three pieces of rose-scented soap for the remaining 3 copper coins and that was 3 silvers exactly. Two down.

"Right, who's next?"

"Oh, that's me, Agni here. I would like all sorts of booze but I've agreed to limit myself to two cans of premium beer, oh and some snacks to go with them. The rest of the offering, make it sweets."

Agni-sama wants premium beer, snacks and sweets. The packaged nibbles I could get from the Net Super to go with beer, things like dried fish weren't very appetizing but... yep, I still had a good quantity of hot potato fries that I made earlier in my Item Box. They'd go nicely with a premium beer. How much would they cost though? Hmmm, as a prepared dish I priced the fries at two copper coins each. Another copper coin would buy a fried mincemeat cake... ah, the dish wouldn't come back from the offering, can I get paper plates? I placed my order in the Net Super and finally I had two cans of premium beer, a paper plate of potato fries and three fried mincemeat cakes on another paper plate. I made up the rest of the offering with cakes and pastries like I bought for Ninril-sama. That should be OK. Three down.

"Next is me. Sweets and food."

The last Goddess was Ruka-sama, who wanted sweets and food. I assumed she wanted to eat the sort of things she had seen Fer, Sui and me eating. So, fried cutlets and fried mincemeat cakes and, quick check, yes I still had Cheese In chicken katsu and Cheese In hamburger in my Item Box ready to go. I bought 3 onigiri and 6 bread rolls from the Net Super to go with them, each costing one copper coin. The Cheese In chicken katsu was a bit big, so I priced it at 2 coppers each and the hamburger just one copper each. Everything laid out on paper plates came to one silver and 5 copper coins. The rest would buy sweets, cakes, pastries etc. like Ninril-sama and Agni-sama's offerings.

I prepared four separate cardboard-box altars and put the offerings for each Goddess on them.

"Right then, I'll get started. First of all is Ninril-sama's preferred sweets. Please accept my offering." It wasn't very prayer-like but deplorable-goddess-sama's offering disappeared promptly anyway. I faced the next cardboard-box altar.

"My offering to Kishar-sama, your desired soap and the shampoo treatment I recommended. This is more luxurious than the shampoo and conditioner I sold to Lambert-san so please give it a try." Kishar-sama's offerings disappeared in a similar manner to Ninril-sama's. I turned to the third altar and bowed my head.

"Agni-sama, I offer to you beer and snacks and sweets. The snacks are food I made myself. I think they go well with beer and I hope you enjoy them. Please eat them with my best wishes." Agni-sama's offering vanished.

"Finally, I make my offering of food and sweets to Ruka-sama." I bowed to the last altar. "I also made some of this food, the bread rolls and the onigiri make good side dishes." Ruka-sama's offering were gone when I looked up again.

"Well, please decide what you want next time and be sure it will be properly within the budget." I reminded the Goddesses before they started in on my offerings.

"I understand, you know." Mmmble...

"Understood, yeah." Sniff...

"Gotcha." Psssshhh...

"..." (chewing vigorously)

I wasn't sure the Goddesses were really listening to me since they had other things on their mind right then but I just hoped next time I had to make an offering would be a bit easier. Three of them were noisy and annoying like teenagers but the last one, Ruka-sama was quiet and reserved. I suppose since she's the youngest that's understandable but the other three were truly deplorable. Good grief.

As I was considering the evening's events the oracle ended and the Goddesses' voices were abruptly cut off.

"Fuuuuh~. Finally finished". I stretched. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. G'night.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Idle Talk 8 - Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi (post Ch 91)

Idle Talk 8 -- Strange Cravings of the Goddesses


A number of Goddesses were gathered in the temple of the Wind Goddess Ninril. The mistress of this temple, Ninril-sama was a slender beautiful woman with clear blue eyes and long white hair. Beside her stood the Earth Goddess Kishar, a voluptuous beauty with an hourglass figure, dark brown eyes and long golden hair. On her other side was the Fire Goddess Agni, golden-eyed and dark-skinned, her fiery red hair pulled back in a ponytail. Almost hidden by the other Goddesses was the diminutive Water Goddess Rusalka, a pretty child-sized girl who appeared to be seven or eight years old, with green eyes and shoulder-length hair of a deep blue colour.

The four Goddesses were gathered around Ninril-sama's scrying pool gazing at a certain party residing in the world below.

"Other-world-guy-kun, when are you planning to make an offering?"

"Really, he's a bit late."

"Do we totally need to send him an oracle?"

"... (nods silently without saying anything)"

The goddesses were getting impatient. It seems that not only Ninril-sama but also the other Goddesses had become captivated by the sweet offerings of the other world.

"Agni, you just said we should send him an oracle so go ahead and do it."

"Yes!"

"...(silently nods)"

The Goddesses figured that Agni-sama should do it since she had been the first one to suggest it. Agni-sama disagreed.

"H- hey, why should I be the one to do it? No chance. Sending an oracle to the world below, other Gods and Goddesses might pick up on it and then our secret would be revealed. Besides, if the God of Creation finds out what we're doing He'll get angry again and I'll be the one that gets the blame."

"It'll be OK, just this one time. I've done it twice before and I haven't been caught." (thinks: lucky for me)

"Oh yeah, it's bound to be OK if you do it just this one time." (thinks: besides if it does go wrong I won't get the blame)

"……All right" (thinks: I don't know if it's actually a good idea but I'll deny everything if I'm asked)

Goddesses can be quite ruthless and unfeeling, especially if they want to avoid the wrath of the God of Creation.

"Guhhh... It was my suggestion to send an oracle so it can't be helped. But... since I'm the one taking the risk I'm gonna get something I want. We agreed that asking for booze was a bad idea but that's what I want from the other-world-guy and I'm not gonna send him an oracle unless I can ask him for some alcohol."

"Ummm..." (thinks: Alcohol, that's going to attract those troublesome Gods but without an oracle I won't get anything I want...)

"Alcohol, is it?...." (thinks: That means those troublesome Gods will turn up but if it's only one or two of them, would that really be a problem?)

"............" (thinks: The booze-loving Gods are bound to come around but I don't care because I don't drink)

The three other Goddesses thought that Agni's request for alcohol was worth agreeing to since they wanted to receive their own offerings as soon as possible. Goddesses can be quite self-centred and greedy too.

"Hey, what are you lot thinking about?" asked Agni-sama as the three other Goddesses looked hesitant. "Are you up to something behind my back?"

"It's just, if we're sending him an oracle we can maybe ask for other things at the same time, you know." (thinks: Sweets, of course. I'll ask for more sweets this time around when Agni sends her oracle. She's very persuasive and this time the other Goddesses won't get a share of the extra sweets. Fufufu...)

"Other-world-guy-kun's forgetfulness in not delivering our offerings on time is inexcusable, isn't it? One or two cans of beer is the minimum he can offer you to make up for his lapses, yes?" (thinks: If she falls for that and agrees then I'll ask for something special myself. I totally want that soap, shampoo and conditioner he's selling down below and the only way I'll get them if other-world-guy-kun offers them to me. Maybe I can sneak in a request while he's praying to us...)

"...I think that's fine." (thinks: If you're going send a special oracle to other-world-guy-kun then, well sweets are nice but that food he made looks delicious. I want to eat that food too)

The three Goddesses agreed, seeming quite reasonable on the face of it but their hidden desires were another story. There were few chances to acquire things from the World Below after all, even for Gods and Goddesses.

"However, just a couple of cans, no more."

"Yeah. More than that and Those Guys will definitely turn up."

"...(nods vigorously)"

The other three Goddesses knew that once Agni-sama started drinking she wouldn't stop since she was a real booze-hound so limiting how much alcohol she could ask for was their only hope of keeping the secret from leaking out.

"I got it," Agni agreed, obviously annoyed. She turned to the scrying pool again. [Hoy, other-world-guy-kun, can you hear me? Send us offerings and be quick about it.] It was a very Agni-sama-like oracle in its own way.

Thus the hidden desires of the three other Goddesses were made plain to other-world-guy-kun.

(Sweets, sweets, lots of sweets just for me! Dorayaki is the most important thing, lots of dorayaki, you know!)

(I want soap and shampoo and conditioner, oh and those hair wraps too. I can't wait to try all of them)

(Food, food, food, food, food)

The Goddesses took the opportunity to demand things of the different world that other-world-guy-kun had come from a little time ago.

Monday, 2 July 2018

Idle Talk 7 - Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi (post Ch 91)

Idle Talk 7 -- 3 Heroes, Initially Levelling Up


Kanon, Rio and myself were standing in front of the dungeon entrance accompanied by our three Knight companions. We had spent the previous week since we had been Summoned to this world learning the basics of how to use swords and spears as well as how to cast magic spells. We had also registered as Adventurers as the leader of the Kingdom's Knights had recommended.

Now we were going to raise our levels and entering the dungeon before us was, as it had been explained to us, the most effective way of doing that. The dungeon entrance looked just like it would in a game and I felt excited at the idea.

"Well then shall we go in?" said Leonard as we stood in line with the Adventurers waiting at the dungeon entrance. He gestured for us to go ahead.

"Hey, is this okay?" Rio asked. We were getting some stares from the other Adventurers as we pushed forward through the crowd towards the entrance.

"There's no problem." Kanon replied. "The Knights are escorting us so it's fine. We're honoured guests of the Kingdom after all."

"It's as Kanon says. We're just getting priority, that's all since we're Heroes." I added. I didn't want a boring wait like the others, I wanted to get into the dungeon quickly.

"It still doesn't feel right though." Rio muttered.

"Come on, let's hurry. The Knights are waiting for us." Kanon prompted. Rio was a bit reluctant to push through the crowd but followed Kanon and me anyway.

"Right then everyone," said Leonard. "Ready?"

"Yes!" we chorused.

"Today is your first time in a dungeon." Leonard gestured at the open portal before us. "It's a limbering-up exercise but I'd like to push forward as far as we can. Because I've got a teleportation mana stone we don't need to worry about making our way back afterwards so please fight the monsters with all your might."

A teleportation mana stone is a magical item that allows teleportation as its name suggests. We'd been told that it was an rare item drop that sometimes appears when you defeat the 10th floor boss of a dungeon. It's an incredibly valuable magic item, a national treasure and we as Heroes have been privileged to borrow it for our training. Knowing that we're regarded so highly by the Kingdom's rulers just makes me want to do my best.

The first floor of the dungeon was populated by Slimes, the second floor with Giant Rats and the third floor with Grey Wolves. We progressed rapidly through these initial floors. The Grey Wolves were tricky as they moved quickly but we were able to deal with them without much difficulty.

The fourth floor had goblins. Kanon and Rio had some qualms about fighting monsters that appeared to be a bit like people but they were pretty repulsive-looking and I had no problems attacking them. The first goblin I hit died and then the body disappeared. After that Kanon and Rio joined in dealing with the goblins.

The fifth floor held a mixture of goblins and Grey Wolves. There were a lot of both types of monsters but we beat them without any real problems. There was a Boss room on this floor with a Goblin General who we defeated soundly and we got an item drop. We were ecstatic even though it was just a normal sword, nothing special but it was our first-ever drop, just like in a game. It gave us a real kick and we pushed on with greater enthusiasm.

The sixth floor had poisonous spiders which were called Poison Spiders, not surprisingly.

"These monsters are poisonous as their name says." Aaron explained as we descended the stairs. "The ones on this floor, the Spider's poison won't kill you but if you're bitten you'll be paralysed for ten minutes or so. You'd be defenceless and you might be killed then so be careful, OK?" We nodded.

The Poison Spiders were about 50cm long and made screeching sounds as they descended from the high ceiling on spider threads. I remembered something Louise had said in our training, that spider monsters were weak against fire and we should use Fire magic on them.

"Blazing orb of fire, burn our enemies to ash! Fireball!" I chanted, casting the Fireball spell we had been taught in our magic training sessions at the spiders. They caught fire immediately, screaming as they burned.

"That's well done." said Louise behind me and, encouraged by her praise I launched more and more Fireballs at the monsters. After that we cleared the sixth floor easily thanks to our Fire magic.

The seventh floor was also populated by Poison Spiders but in addition there was also a Giant Poison Spider, more dangerous than the ones we had encountered on the sixth floor. The bite from a Giant Poison Spider would be fatal, we were warned so we should be extra careful. Kanon and Rio looked worried when they heard this but I felt our Knight companions were being a little over-protective since we had Fire magic and that had sufficed on the previous floor.

There were a lot more Poison Spiders in the seventh floor than on the sixth but I just launched more Fireballs into the clusters of monsters and then we dealt with the survivors with our swords and spears.

We finally reached another Boss room on this floor with a Giant Poison Spider. It was really big, maybe two metres tall with a horde of smaller Poison Spiders clustered around it.

"Kaito, use a Fire Arrow on that big guy." Lousie ordered while Kanon and Rio were advised by Leonard and Aaron to use Fireballs on the smaller Spiders. Good idea, I thought as the Giant Poison Spider started to move towards us. I needed a powerful hit to take that monster down quickly.

"Fierce-flaming arrow, pierce my enemy. Fire Arrow!" I chanted.

The Fire Arrow hit the Giant Poison Spider and the monster exploded in fire while the Fireballs launched by Kanon and Rio burned the other Poison Spiders.

"Hooray! We did it!" we shouted in triumph but our Knight companions brought us back down to earth.

"You're not finished yet." they said as some surviving Poison Spiders scuttled towards us. We got back in formation and cut them down. When the last Poison Spider was dealt with and its body vanished, a bundle of glistening threads remained, an item drop which we Appraised as "Thread of Giant Poison Spider".

"That's proof that you defeated the Giant Poison Spider." said Lousie as she gave the threads to me. "Okay, the seventh floor is clear, let's finish here for today and go back." We returned to the entrance using the teleportation mana stone. When we got back to the royal palace, I checked my status using Appraisal.

[Name]  Kaito  .  Saitou
[Age] 17
[Type] A Hero from another world
[Level] 5
[Fitness] 926
[Magical Power] 882
[Attack power] 891
[Defense force] 867
[Agility] 860
[Skill] Appraisal, Item Box, Holy Swordsman, Fire Magic, Water Magic, Earth Magic, Wind Magic, Light Magic, Lightning Magic, Ice magic

Wow, I'm at level 5 already! Great! Kanon and Rio are also level 5 now, of course. We'll get even stronger in the future and then, maybe Louise would...


(Knights' Conversation)

"So what do you think?"

"Well that's their first-ever dungeon. They did okay."

"I think that it was a decent effort for a first dungeon myself."

"Kaito's Fire magic was quite good, however Kanon and Rio may need a little more training."

"They're a bit sluggish using magic, that could be a problem later."

"Their use of swords and spears is pretty good for just one week's training but we need them to improve quite a bit more to justify calling them Heroes."

"Don't tell them that though."

"Is it maybe too early for them to go back into the dungeon?"

"Yeah, maybe. The lower floors are a lot harder and they were starting to struggle as it was."

"Right then... for the time being, we'll abandon the idea of them going back into the dungeon tomorrow and concentrate on training them up in magic as well as fighting with sword and spear."

"Sounds good. We're getting pressured by the higher-ups to work fast but it'll all be for nothing if they get injured or even killed."

"Yeah. Still, they fought in their first dungeon all day and only got to level 5. Are they really Hero material?"

Saturday, 30 June 2018

Ch 91 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 91 -- Oh Lord How More Money Rolls In


At the warehouse door Johan-ojisan was waiting as usual. I wondered idly if he lived there, I'd never seen him anywhere else even within the Guild. We went inside after the Guild Master explained to him that we had dealt with the Wyverns and the Guild was purchasing the materials from the monsters.

"Can you take out just one Wyvern out for now?" the old man asked. I did as he requested and the two of them examined the beheaded Wyvern carefully.

"There's not much damage." Johan-ojisan declared. "Huhu, I'm gonna get a lot of good materials outta it." The old man grinned. "13 Wyverns in all, you say? Are the other 12 like this one?" I nodded and his grin broadened.

"Ummm, thirteen of them, that's maybe too many..." The Guild Master said to Johan-ojisan, looking at the giant body of the Wyvern. It was really very large, a true monster and I'd not even brought out its head -- well, they were all jumbled up in my Item Box, I wasn't sure which head went with which body.

"Yeah, if we took all of them in one go they'd not all fit in here." Johan-ojisan confirmed, looking around. The warehouse was pretty big but twelve more Wyverns were going to fill it right up and then some.

"I guess you're right.  In that case can you disassemble them in two batches?" The Guild Master inquired.

"That's the only way I can do it, Guild Master." He thought for a moment. "I can start with seven of them and then once I'm finished with that lot I can deal with the rest." Johan-ojisan turned to me. "You okay with that, sonny?"

"You're wanting to disassemble them in two batches, is that right? Fine by me." I agreed. Leave it to the expert.

"Now that's settled... You're wholesaling all the Wyvern's materials to us?" The Guild Master asked.

"Well, you can have everything else but I'll hold on to the meat."

"That's fine. Selling the materials from so many Wyverns is going to be very profitable for us. There's always a demand for such items."

Almost all of an S-rank Wyvern's materials are valuable, the Guild Master explained. Not only the meat but also the skin, the fangs, the poison sacs and poison needles are much sought after. There's also a mana stone in such high-ranking monsters, of course. Even without including the meat the materials from thirteen such creatures will sell for a lot.

"The disassembly of all 13 monsters is going to be free of charge for me, right?" I asked. The Guild Master nodded in agreement and I thought for a moment. Right now I've got plenty of money and it's not going to cost me anything for the disassembly so...

"Can I change my mind? I'll wholesale the other materials, the fangs, poison sacs and poison needles from all thirteen monsters but can I hang on to the skins and magic stones from five of them?"

"Yes, that's fine." The Guild Master agreed. "Actually it's a bit of a relief if you want to hold on to those materials. We're running low on cash to pay you until we get paid for the other materials you've brought us." He shrugged. "Purchasing the materials from the Wyverns, even without the meat will cost us more than 2,500 gold coins."

More than 2,500 gold coins...? I can understand why they're running out of ready cash... I'm going to buy myself a bath. Will that cost more than 2,500 gold coins? I don't care. I'm going to buy myself a bath. I expected the Guild would pay me in large gold coins given the amount but that didn't matter. Bath store, here I come.

"As S-ranked monsters," The Guild Master explained. "All the materials from Wyverns are exceptionally high quality, especially the skin and the mana stone." It seems the Wyvern skin is highly resistant to magic, thin, durable and light so it is often made into cloaks although the price tag for such a cloak would make your eyes pop out. The mana stones are very large and don't appear on the market very often.

"Thanks to your good self this branch of the Guild is earning its highest-ever profit since it was founded," the Guild Master said with some satisfaction, "but purchasing all the materials from 13 Wyverns in one deal would be difficult for us. You should take the remaining skins and magic stones to the Guild of another city and sell them there."

Oh, other cities have Adventurers Guilds too? Well, of course they do. I could hold on to those items and sell them later at another Guild. Saying that I had more than enough money as it stands. Maybe I could get a cloak made for myself instead. The only outfits I've got are just regular clothing, nothing special. Since it's leather maybe I could ask Lambert-san whether he could make me a Wyvern-skin cloak. Even if he couldn't do it himself he should know someone who could.

"Hey, can you give us six more Wyverns to start with?" Johan-ojisan interjected. "Guild Master, it's gonna take me three days to get through this first lot. Oh, and I'm gonna need the Guild's Mithril knife for this job."

"You're right, Johan." the Guild Master replied as I pulled out six more Wyverns from my Item Box. "It's been a while since I handed out the Mithril knife." Monsters like Wyverns with resistance to magic can't be dismantled without using a Mithril knife. It seems that because it's such a valuable item the Guild Master keeps it under lock and key until it's needed. Without such a knife disassembling the Wyverns would be impossible.

That reminded me about the Mithril Lizard which was still in my Item Box. "Umm, Guild Master, I will give you the Mithril Lizard now if that's OK? The attack of the Wyverns stopped me handing it over earlier."

"Oh yes, that's right. I almost forgot about it." The Guild Master looked embarrassed. "I paid you a lot of money for it, if I didn't get it from you that would be a real problem, ha ha ha."

I pulled out the Mithril Lizard from my Item Box. The Guild master and Johan-ojisan both admired the creature.

"No matter how many times I see it, it's wonderful." The Guild Master said reverently. "Yeah." Johan-ojisan agreed, transfixed by the monster's gleaming skin.

"Right then, I'll come back in three days and hand over the rest of the Wyverns then." I said, impatient to go back to the inn.

"Yeah, I'll be ready for them." Johan-ojisan said, tearing his eyes from the Mithril Lizard's body.

"You truly saved our lives today, Mukouda-sama, and we are in your debt." the Guild Master said, clapping me hard on my shoulder. He may have been an old man long retired from adventuring but he remained strong and the blow hurt. I tried not to grimace. "If there is ever anything we can do for you don't hesitate to ask."

Right then, I said telepathically to Fer and Sui, let's go back to the inn. We got more money today so I'm going to the bath store tomorrow and look at some baths and then if I see one I like then I'm going to buy myself a bath.

Friday, 29 June 2018

Ch 90 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 90 -- Sorry We're Late, We Stopped To Eat.


When we got back to the Adventurer's Guild we found the Guild Master and his staff, many Adventurers and even the leader of the city's Knights Order wearing full plate armour waiting for us.

"Oh, you're back. We were starting to worry about you. Are you all right?" The Guild Master said, hurrying over to me as we entered.

"Yes, we're all fine." I reassured him. "All the Wyverns have been dealt with too. Isn't that right Fer?"

"Yeah. There's no sign of any Wyverns anywhere nearby so we got all of them." Fer agreed.

"So there-" I began but I was drowned out by a great cry from the crowd standing nearby.

"Hurray! We're saved!" The Adventurers were cheering and slapping each other on the back in relief. Some of them were even crying. Okay, I understand you're all happy the crisis is over but was it really that big a deal?

"Well, we weren't sure you'd return safely." The Guild Master explained. "A few of the Adventurers here said that even a Fenrir couldn't face up to a flock of Wyverns and they were seriously worried. I didn't think that myself, but as time went on and you hadn't returned I was getting worried myself."

Well, of course subjugating the entire flock of Wyverns didn't take THAT long. The meal afterwards, with all the cooking and such... I couldn't tell them we were taking our time eating before we came back. It would be-

"Dealing with the Wyverns was easy." Fer said bluntly. "We were late back as I was eating dinner." I face-palmed. Fer, you shouldn't have said that.

"You stopped to eat dinner afterwards...?" came questioning voices from the crowd around us. Well, no, that is yes, just a snack, um... Well, you guys, don't look at me like that...

Sui jumped out of the bag and bounced around me. "Today's dinner was really really tasty ~" she proclaimed.

"Yeah, today's meal was delicious." Fer agreed.

No, no, let's read the atmosphere you two. Of course Sui's comment was just a telepathic thought between us three but Fer spoke out loud which didn't help. The pressure of the accusing eyes on us increased.

"Uh, you know, we were hungry and..." Luckily for me the Guild Master stepped in.

"Well, you're back now safe and sound." He gestured to the stairs. "Let's go up to my office and discuss the rest of the business regarding the subjugation, shall we?" I nodded and we followed him and the Knights Order's leader, silently thanking him for his timely intervention as the celebrations behind us grew even louder.

* * * * *

In the office I sat down beside the Knights Order's leader, across the table from the the Guild Master.

"First of all, thank you for saving this city." The Guild Master bowed deeply to me.

"I also thank you," the Knights Order's leader said as he also bowed his head. "You succeeded in a task the Knights Order and the Adventurers Guild together should have dealt with. I really appreciate it."

"No no," I waved my hands, "It wasn't me, it was Fer and Sui that did all the work."

"I understand Fer's power, but a Slime..." the Guild Master said, staring at Sui who was sitting on my knee. "It seems that Slime has a strength that you can not imagine from its appearance."

"Yeah..." I said somewhat smugly. "That's because Sui is a special individual, she's quite strong." I'm proud of my Sui-chan.

"As you say. Thank you for dealing with the Wyverns." The Guild Master bowed to Fer who was lying on the floor next to me and then to Sui on my knee. Fer didn't say anything but Sui trembled.

"So, how many Wyverns were there?" The Guild Master asked, moving on to business.

"There were 13 in all." I replied.

"Th-, thirteen you say..." The Guild Master and the Knights Order's leader looked at each other as I answered.

"If there were thirteen Wyverns then," the Guild Master said, white-faced, "if the Adventurers and all the city's Knights worked together to deal with them, half of us would have been killed."

"Guild Master, I do not think it's just half, it's entirely possible all of us would be dead by now." the Knights Order's leader said shakily.

"I see..." Hey, was it really such a big deal? Fer and Sui cut the heads of the Wyverns so easily, I sorta thought it wasn't a big problem like these guys did. Of course when I was attacked personally at the end I was truly a bit scared. A bit. Just a bit. Really.

"It seems we were fortunate." the Guild Master said, glancing at Fer and Sui.

"That may be so, Guild Master." The Knights Order's leader commented. "But we can't rely on luck from now on because we don't know when something like this might happen again."

"Certainly." the Guild Master agreed, his face hardening.

"Most of the time this city is peaceful and the Order of Knights can usually take it easy." The Knights Order's leader went on, his own expression matching the Guild Master's. "When news of the Wyverns reached us some of my subordinates were, ah, reluctant to step forward and volunteer. When they heard that Mukouda-sama had gone off to deal with the Wyverns  by himself they apparently felt relieved..."

"That was the same for the Adventurers who are members of the Guild." The Guild Master said in a dark voice.

"I have decided," the Knight's Order leader said firmly, " that I am going to beat my Order's members into shape." His gauntleted fist smote the table loudly. "I will turn them into a force that can deal with any threat to this city, even one that might appear without warning like these Wyverns."

"That sounds like a fine idea." The Guild Master agreed, nodding. "For myself, I think I need to review just what the Adventurers Guild stands for. I have come to the belief that being an Adventurer isn't just to earn points and increases in rank. A good Adventurer is one who has endured some hardship and perhaps it's time for them all to do so, ha ha ha..." The expression on their faces frightened me even though I knew I wasn't the focus of their displeasure. As for the Knights and Adventurers, uhhh sorry guys, it looks like you're in for a hard time. Good luck and I hope you survive. Me, I just want to go back to the inn soon...

The Guild Master turned back to me. "My apologies, Mukouda-sama, I was distracted for a moment. So you collected all the Wyverns you subjugated?"

"Yes, of course I collected them all." I was relieved they had changed the subject.

"How badly are they damaged?" the Guild Master enquired. I thought for a moment before answering. The Wyverns in my Item Box weren't really beat up as both Fer and Sui had beheaded them cleanly to finish them off.

"The heads were all cut off at the neck," I explained, "so I don't think they're damaged much..."

"T- the Wyvern heads, to cut them off just like that... that's astounding." the Knights Order's leader said.

"Well, Wyverns are magically resistant so doing something like that is a tough job, even with a Mithril sword." the Guild Master added. Fer and Sui hadn't had any problems cutting the Wyvern necks though, I thought to myself but I wasn't going to say anything about THAT.

"So, will you wholesale the Wyvern materials to us?" the Guild Master asked, all business again.

"Yes," I nodded, "Everything except the meat as usual."

"Ok, then then shall we move to the warehouse?" the Guild Master stood up headed for the door.

"Excuse my rudeness," the Knights Order leader said as he stood up, a harsh gleam in his eyes, "but I have to go discuss some, ah, matters with my subordinates and the sooner I get started the better." He shook my hand. "Thank you again, Mukouda-san." I watched the broad armoured back of the Knights Order leader disappear down the stairs in front of me, heading back to the barracks. Please don't kill all of them, Leader-dono, I prayed as the Guild Master and I headed towards the Guild's warehouse, a place I was becoming more than familiar with.

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

Ch 89 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 89 -- After a Hard Day's Work, Let's Deep-fry Some Mincemeat Cakes


First up, we dealt with the Wyverns....

"Sui, can you extract all the blood from the Wyverns?" Since Sui was able to suck up the the pools of Bloody Horn Bull's blood I thought she'd be able to do that.

"Yes, I can do it-" Sui agreed.

"Wyvern's blood? What are you going to do?" Fer looked puzzled.

"Well, I think that bleeding the carcasses thoroughly will prevent the meat from rotting or smelling funny, that's all."

"Oh, is that so Aruji-? Sui will suck out all the blood then." If I tell them that the meat they'll be eating will taste better they're all for it, of course.

 A thought occurred to me. "Ah, hold on. Wyverns are poisonous aren't they? Does that poison have any effect on the blood or meat?"

"Wyvern's poison isn't a problem if you watch out for the poison sac in the middle of the tail and the poison needle itself." Fer explained. "You won't contaminate the meat or poison the blood if you're careful."

So that's how it is. "Sui, there's a poison sac in the tail so watch out for that." I cautioned. "Can you drain all the blood anyway?"

"Yeah, I got it-." Sui said as she trembled and burbled. Big Slime? Yep, after she grew in size she split into small Slimes to do the work.

"Everyone, drain the blood of the monsters over there-" Sui ordered the little Slimes. Each of the Slimes headed off to a different Wyvern corpse and latched on to the body's neck stump. As I watched each transparent Slime gradually turned red as they sucked the Wyverns dry of blood. As each Slime completed its task it dropped off the Wyvern's neck stump.

"Aruji, all done-" Sui informed me.

"Thanks, Sui." I stored the blood-drained Wyverns in my Item Box. I wasn't sure what to do with the Wyvern heads but I decided to take them back with me so I stored them too. Maybe the Guild would buy them.

 Right then, food. As I thought about preparing a meal the smell of Wyvern blood all around distracted me.

"Sui, I'm sorry to ask you but can you suck up the Wyvern blood that's lying around here?"

"Yeah, easy -" The small Slimes slowly sucked up the blood pooling on the grasslands nearby, leaving the entire area pristine. Great.

"Thank you, Sui. I will make something delicious for you."

"Yay! I want to eat now-" Sui bounced happily.

"Nnnn, now is good for me too." Fer added.

"Yeah, yeah." Now is always a good time for Fer to stuff himself.

Well, I gave some thought as to what to make and decided quickly that deep-frying was the way to go. Eating fried food under the blue sky, yes! I'd make fried mincemeat cakes. I'd buy ingredients from the Net Super but the mincemeat I'd make from what I had to hand. Hmmm, how about some 100% Bloody Horn Bull mincemeat and some 100% Orc General mincemeat as well as a mixture of the two, I thought to myself? Three different flavours, a nice contrast.

First I chopped a lot of onions up, I'd need them for fried mincemeat cakes. It's like hamburger steak but with breadcrumbs -- oh, I had to buy more breadcrumbs from the Net Super. While I had the menu open I bought some premium beer too because fried food and especially fried mincemeat cakes go well with beer, or is it the other way round? Whatever.

I started off by soaking some dry breadcrumbs in a small amount of milk and then added the chopped meat, a 50/50 mix of Orc General and Bloody Horn Bull, the chopped-up onions, eggs, salt and pepper and mixed it all up thoroughly until it got sticky. I made the mixture into suitably sized balls and then pressed them flat. Since I was still experimenting I made them small enough for me to eat in a single bite. I repeated the steps with the Orc General meat and the Bloody Horn Bull meat, to get a good comparison of the different flavours. I dunked the meatballs in wheat flour then in whisked egg and finally in dry breadcrumbs before deep-frying them in oil.

Gulp... Is there nothing that can't be made tastier by deep-frying it? No sauce, just a single bite and... success. The meat juices oozed out, delicious and flavourful, the breadcrumb coating crispy. Simply fried mincemeat cake with no sauce or other additives, a winner!

"Hey, why're you eating it all? Give some of it to us too." Fer was drooling over my shoulder.

Yeah yeah, hang on. "OK, first of all here's some fried mincemeat cake, it's a mixture of of Bloody Horn Bull and Orc General." I passed the two battle maniacs some samples straight from the frying pot. "Watch out, they're hot."

"Huh, this is hot but delicious. The meat juices are bursting out." Fer said telepathically, his mouth too full to talk.

"Really, this is delicious-" Sui agreed. Both of them gave fried mincemeat cake a thumbs up.

"Well, try these ones. I've added some sauce to them." Worcester sauce is recommended for fried mincemeat cakes.

"Oh, it's even more delicious with this black sauce on top."

"Yes, yes-" Sui agreed. They seem to prefer them with sauce. I got down to business, quickly frying mincemeat cakes of all three types before dishing them out.

"This is fried mincemeat cake made just with Bloody Horn Bull meat." I passed them each a plate. "And these plates are fried mincemeat cake made from Orc General's meat." handing back another plateful each. I kept back my own servings, I remembered the times I'd had little or nothing left to eat myself after the gluttons had done their worst. Never again. The two of them wolfed down their portions.

"So, there were three different types, which one did you prefer?" I asked for future meal planning.

"Well, it's all tasty but I prefer the Bloody Horn Bull meat by itself." Fer said after thinking about it.

"Sui thinks they're also delicious, but I guess this is the one I like best-"  Sui's tentacle pointed to the fried mincemeat cake made just from Orc General's meat.

"Well, my own preference is for the mixed mincemeat cake." I declared. "All three of us like different versions."

"Hey, they're ALL delicious. You should make all of them again." Fer said.

"Sui wants to eat them all again too-"

I'm the one who does all the cooking around here so it's up to me, but I'll make all three types of mincemeat cake again since you asked.

"Fu ~, Sui's tummy is full-"

"Well, I'm stuffed too." Fer chimed in. The gluttons had had enough. Victory!

I fried up a lot more mincemeat cakes for storage, holding out just one portion of mixed mincemeat cakes for myself before I finally settled down to leisurely enjoy the fruits of my labour.

Pssshhhh, glug glug glug. Ha~, beer is delicious. A bite of freshly fried mincemeat cake, mmmm. I put some Worcester sauce on the next piece. Success! The sauce and the meat juices mingled on my tongue. I swallowed and then drank more beer and smiled.

"Hmm, yes, it's the best." I slowly enjoyed the combination of premium beer and fried mincemeat cake.