Ch 101 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 101 - Choosing the Route for a Trip to the Sea


"So have you decided where you plan to go when you leave?" asked the Guild Master. We were sitting opposite him in his now-familiar office in the Guild.

"We're heading for the sea, apparently." I glanced down at Fer, lying beside my seat.

"Umu, the sea." He opened his mouth, baring his impressive fangs and licking his muzzle. "I fancy eating some Kraken and Sea Serpent." Stop drooling Fer, you're in the Guild Master's office, I prompted him telepathically. Some poor flunky is going to have to clean that up, you know.

"That's why, basically." I explained to the Guild Master as Fer closed his mouth again.

"Kraken and Sea Serpent?" The Guild Master raised an eyebrow. "Those are the names of impressive monsters, indeed."

"Well yes, sorry. I don't know myself but Fer has told me they're very tasty..."

"Umu, they're truly delicious. Besides, it's good to eat seafood once in a while. If you cook it properly for me it will surely taste even better than raw." Yeah yeah, you've told me this before. Lots of times.

"So anyway that's why we're heading off to the sea." I finished.

"Oh, wait a moment." The Guild Master got up and pulled out a sheet of paper from a cupboard, spreading it out on the desk between us.

"This is a map of this country and the Erman Kingdom." he explained. It was quite a detailed map compared to the only other map I had seen in this world, the one I had bought for an inflated price from some rogues ahem fellow Adventurers some months ago. The Guild Master explained that this map was commonly sold by the Adventurers Guilds of both the Leonhart Kingdom and the Erman Kingdom. The Guild Master traced a path across the map with a finger as I watched.

"If you're headed to the coast I would appreciate it if you would follow this route. I recommend this route because the roads are well-maintained but it also passes through three large cities. It's likely you would receive subjugation requests from the Guilds in those cities which would be convenient for us."

"That seems reasonable but what are the three major cities?"

"Leaving here you'll first arrive at a city called Claire." The Guild Master's finger paused on a city on the map, then moved on. "After that the next city is Doran which has a dungeon." He pointed at another city. "And the next city is Neihof and after that you'll reach Berleean which is a port city on the coast."

The city of Claire, our likely first destination was smaller than our current location, Carerina. It seemed to be a busy city famous for spinning and weaving, a popular destination for merchants in search of colorful threads and cloth. The next was the Dungeon City of Doran which as its name suggested has a dungeon in it which attracts both Adventurers and merchants so it seems to be quite a big city. The city of Carerina was the fifth largest city in the Leonhart Kingdom behind the Royal capital and the three Dungeon Cities of this country. Having a dungeon means a city will prosper and grow. I was looking forward to visiting some larger cities.

The third city on our proposed route, Neihof was a pottery town with many ceramics workshops. Apparently they made baths like the one I had bought (MY bath!). Finally we would arrive at Berleean, a fishing port which was a popular destination among those who loved fresh seafood.

The Guild Master explained that this world's seas are plagued by dangerous monsters so fishing isn't a common business but the fishermen of Berleean go to sea despite repeatedly encountering such monsters in their working lives. They must be truly dedicated to their jobs, I decided. They would have to be extremely brave to face such terrors and I admired them for their efforts. The dangers of fishing meant that there was little seafood for sale anywhere though, and as a Japanese person who naturally loved fish I was looking forward to eating fresh seafood in Berleean when we got there. Oh yes.

"I suggest stopping by the Dungeon City of Doran for other reasons." The Guild Master went on while my mind was distracted by the idea of seafood. "There are many weapons and armour stores because it's a popular destination for Adventurers. The food there is very good too," the Guild Master said as Fer's ears pricked up, "and you can sell rare items more easily at the stores. If you've got time you should definitely explore the dungeon there."

"Nu, a dungeon?" Fer interjected. "I've never been in a dungeon in a human city before. Sounds interesting." Fer, that's the wrong thing to say. I had a bad feeling about where this was going...

"Dungeon? Are we fighting?-" Sui started to crawl out of her satchel.

"Umu, that's right Sui. We're going to a dungeon." Fer said recklessly.

"Dungeon~" Sui said, jumping around excitedly.

"Hey Sui, stop jumping around. We're not going to any dungeons." I said telepathically. My previous experiences of dungeons had soured me on going down one willingly. I'll never enter another dungeon ever again.

"Yeah Sui, a dungeon." Fer went on, ignoring me completely like always. "We'll be there soon."

"Yay, Sui wants to go into a dungeon too-"

"No, no, I said I won't go." Change the subject quick, I though desperately. I turned to the Guild Master who was laughing since he hadn't heard the part of our conversation where I was speaking telepathically to Sui, only what Fer and I had said out loud.

"Once we've received the price for the Wyverns purchase and subjugation as well as the last six monsters Johan-ojisan is disassembling now we'll be leaving. That should be the day after tomorrow." I told him abruptly.

"I can see you're really in a hurry to get to that dungeon," he said with a smile, misunderstanding my disagreement with Fer. I forebore to correct him on the subject, reserving my efforts for the future discussions with Fer and Sui about the non-entry of dungeons. "I will ask the Guilds in the other cities about suitable requests for you on your way to your final destination of Berleean. I'm sure there must be some requests in Doran because of its dungeon which, as you know, attracts high-ranking monsters." No I didn't know, I didn't need to know that...

"I understand." Fer said. "Any piffling requests like that won't take me any time at all to take care of. After that we can go into the dungeon there?"

"Yes, of course." the Guild Master said. "I will inform the Guild Master of Doran of your plans."

"Good. I'm looking forward to conquering a dungeon in a human city."

"Sui is also looking forward to it-" Battle maniac Sui chimed in.

"No no no, I will not enter the dungeon," I protested telepathically but Fer wasn't listening, his eyes closed and starting to snore. I wondered if he was just pretending to sleep to avoid listening to me. He'd go to great efforts to do that, I had started to notice. He really was a pain sometimes.

"Ha ha ha, you have your own problems, Mukouda-sama." the Guild Master laughed.

"Yes, it's not easy travelling with these two." I agreed.

"Since you'll be needing this map on your travels I'll entrust it to you." he said, rolling it up and presenting it to me. I accepted his gift with thanks.

"I understand and thank you. Please contact the Guild Masters of the various cities on our journey to let them know we'll do our best to assist them."

"Oh, I will." the Guild Master said. "Thinking about it there's a possibility the Adventurers Guild in Doran might be able to disassemble that Earth Dragon for you. I'll inform Doran's Guild Master about that as well."

"Thank you very much." I said. "Oh, is it possible to pass on a message to me if the merchant Lambert-san wishes to get in touch?"

I had found out earlier that the various Adventurer Guilds could transmit messages back and forth using some kind of magical tool and they'd be using this to inform other Guilds we were coming. I hoped I could use this messaging service for my own purposes. Hopefully Guild staff member and intercontinental blabbermouth Sandra-chan wouldn't inform everyone about our plans...

"Ha-, are you acquainted with Lambert-san?" the Guild Master asked. It seemed he was familiar with Lambert-san, another indication of the merchant's high standing in the city.

"Yeah, we've got a business arrangement. I've asked him to make me a cloak with Wyvern's skin but it will be some time before it's ready for me to collect."

"I understand. We'll pass on a message if Lambert-san wishes to get in touch with you."

"Thank you. We'll come back the day after tomorrow then." As I said that, Fer woke up from his pretended sleep and we left the Adventurers Guild.

"Right then, will we head back to the inn?" I asked Fer.

"Yes. Today's dinner is Wyvern meat." he declared authoritatively, drooling again.

"Yeah, I know." I agreed, starting to wonder myself what Wyvern's meat would taste like. I had no idea but Fer had been very emphatic on the subject. When inspecting the Wyvern meat we had collected from the Guild's warehouse it resembled well-marbled Japanese wagyu beef more than anything. How could something looking that good not be delicious? I was looking forward to it too.

Ch 100 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 100 -- The Earth Dragon Can't Be Disassembled.


As soon as we arrived at the Adventurers Guild the receptionist hurried off to fetch the Guild Master who then accompanied us to the warehouse where Johan-ojisan had been hard at work.

"Ah, you're here? I'm done with the first lot of Wyverns for ya." Johan-ojisan looked tired but there was a smile on his face. He was someone who enjoyed his job, it seemed.

"Here's seven lots of Wyvern meat, sonny, and two Wyvern skins and two manastones." Johan-ojisan scratched his bald head. "I dunno how you did it but it's the first time I've dealt with monsters where the blood's all been drained out. Made dismantling a lot easier though." Oh, bleeding. That was Sui's work.

"Sui drained the blood." I explained. I patted the bag by my side and Sui popped out.

"Is that a Slime?" Johan-ojisan peered closely at Sui who peered back at the bald-headed old man. "I didn't know Slimes could be used like that."

"Yes, Johan." The Guild Master chimed in. "If any Slime could do something like that then it's probably that Slime there. It seems to be really special."

"That's a shame." Johan-ojisan laughed. "If every party of Adventurers had a Slime that could drain blood it would make my job a lot easier." He shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter."

The mountain of Wyvern meat Johan-ojisan presented me with was huge as you might expect. Even with Fer and Sui to cook for I'd not be short of meat for a long time, and there was the meat from another six Wyverns to add to the reserve after this, of course. I also received two mana stones and two Wyvern skins from this first batch with six more of each to come once Johan-ojisan had dismantled the second batch of monsters.

I examined one of the mana stones closely. It had an strange feel to it, a flattened round stone about 20 cm in diameter with an odd dark colour. Mana stones are used to make magic tools and large ones like this trade for a very high price. I didn't really have an immediate use for it myself but I planned to keep it in reserve in case I got into financial trouble later. I was incredibly well-off right now but who knows what the future might hold?

The Wyvern skin was unbelievably thin like nothing I had ever felt before. It was dark grey in colour, very smooth and attractive. I could see why Wyvern skin was popularly used to make cloaks with and I was pleased I had already arranged for Lambert-san to make me just such a cloak.

"Regarding the purchase price," the Guild Master said, "I'd like to wait until Johan here has finished dismantling the rest of the Wyverns to summarise and pay you in one lump sum if that's fine with you?"

"That's fine." I agreed.

"Oh, that's right." the Guild Master said, remembering something. "I ought to give this to you now as a separate sum." He handed me 10 gold coins. "It's payment for that advanced potion from the injured Adventurer's party." The Guild Master laughed. "Well, since the party was a group of beginners it's actually a loan from the Guild which they'll pay back." He smiled and I suddenly thought of the payday loan sharks back home and I wondered what sort of interest rate he was charging them.

Potion? Oh, that was one of Sui's Deluxe High-grade Potions I had given him to treat the Adventurer poisoned by a Wyvern's sting. I completely forgotten about it. Was it really worth 10 gold coins?

"The potion you gave us was obviously much more effective than a regular advanced potion. The party are profoundly grateful to you for your assistance in saving their injured member. As for the price, I'm sorry I can't pay you what it's really worth but the party is, as I said, just beginners and I'd like to give them some help on this. They'd have to work for years to pay off such a big debt otherwise."

"No no, don't worry about it." I said. "I didn't pay anything for it myself after all."

"I'm intrigued as to where such potions can be got for free." the Guild Master said, furrowing his brow. Oops, perhaps I shouldn't have said that. "But there is an absolute ban on prying into your affairs so I'll let matters rest there." I would appreciate it if you did just that please. (Bitter smile). I can't tell you that Sui just makes those potions with no effort. I tried to change the subject.

"How much does each kind of potion cost?" I asked.

"A basic potion costs 5 silver coins, an intermediate level potion is is 1 gold coin and a high-grade potion costs 10 gold coins. There's also a special-grade potion above that costing 50 gold coins." the Guild Master explained. "Most Adventurers carry intermediate level potions at best, some higher-ranking Adventurers on a dangerous quest might take one or two high-grade potions with them. We usually keep a couple of high-grade potions in stock here just in case but it just so happened that we were out of stock when the Wyverns appeared."

"Doesn't the Adventurer Guild store any special grade potions?" I enquired.

"They're too expensive." the guild Master said with a frown. "The Adventurers Guild in the Royal capital might keep one or two in stock but nowhere else could afford to do so." Well, certainly 50 gold coins is a lot of money which would have to be repaid by any Adventurer who used such a potion. Beginning Adventurers wouldn't be able to pay that much back and even experienced Adventurers would have difficulty. A special grade potion was very powerful, apparently they could even reconnect severed limbs if it was applied promptly.

"Right then, I'll get out the rest of the Wyverns to get dismantled." I took out the remaining 6 Wyverns from my Item Box. Talking about the potions I had almost forgotten why I had come here in the first place.

"Hoi." Fer interjected. "Don't forget to get them to disassemble my last capture as well."

"Oh, that's right." Fer was talking about the Earth Dragon. I had sort-of forgotten about it, for some reason. Like not wanting to remember, probably... I'd rather just leave it in my Item Box forever.

"Oh, has Fenrir-sama hunted something interesting?" The Guild Master inquired, obviously intrigued.

"Well, you see... the fact is... ummm, Fer captured an Earth Dragon..."

..................

............

....

"I'm dreadfully sorry," the Guild Master said after a long interval. "but my ears just stopped working properly. I could have sworn you just said 'Earth Dragon' but you couldn't have, could you?"

"Ah, yes I did." I fired off a death glare at Fer but it bounced off him without effect, as usual. Another long silence ensued.

"...Is it really truly an, an, an Earth Dragon?"

"Oh, yeah. Please see for yourself." I reached into my Item Box and pulled out the Earth Dragon.

"............"

"............"

The Guild Master and Johan-ojisan both stared at the Earth Dragon, stunned. I waited and waited for them to say something, anything. Finally the Guild Master shook himself as if waking up from a dream.

"T-that's..." the Guild Master hesistated then his features firmed up. "Oh, my apologies, Mukouda-sama. I was shocked by seeing it." His voice was still a bit wavery though. I'm really sorry Guild Master, it's all Fer's fault really. The Guild master turned to his subordinate and smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey, Johan, are you OK?"

"...Oh, Oh, Guild Master, I'm dreaming, there's an Earth Dragon lying there in front of me ha ha ha." I should have expected a reaction like that. I'm really sorry, Guild Master and Johan-ojisan, really really sorry.

"Well you see, uhhh, Fer told me Dragon's meat is really delicious..."

"Umu, Dragon's meat is definitely delicious." Fer announced. "Wyvern's meat is tasty but Dragon's meat is even tastier than that."

"...Dragon's meat is delicious, of course..." the Guild Master said speculatively.

"Eh, I'd love to taste some Dragon's meat myself..." Johan-ojisan chimed in, his eyes fixed on the Earth Dragon lying before him.

Huh? Dragon steaks are that good?

"Anyway, the last time a Dragon was subjugated, lessee, it was over 200 years ago ..." Johan-ojisan said, thinking hard.

"If you were a long-lived elf or dwarf, you might know about it from that time..." the Guild Master went on. From what I had been told before, the lifespan of High Elves seems to be about 1000 years while ordinary Elves live about 500 years to 600 years. Dwarves are also long lived, usually between 200 and 300 years. If the last Dragon subjugation did actually happen more than 200 years ago then no human alive now would have been around when it happened, just some Elves and Dwarves.

"Purchase of the materials from this is... ummm..." the Guild Master said, thinking hard. "It's too much for us to deal with, it's like your Orthros and Chimaera, this Dragon is even more valuable and we wouldn't be able to pay you for it."

Ah~ as expected. Well, that's it.

"I understand but if it's possible can you please just disassemble it for us?" I asked. Fer wanted to eat Dragon meat.

"Mmmm?" the Guild Master turned to Johan-ojisan. "Can you manage that, Johan?"

"Impossible." the old man retorted immediately. "There's nothing goes to waste when disassembling a Dragon, according to the records. Every part of the monster is valuable, from the blood to the internal organs, it can all be used. Not a single drop of blood can be lost." He shrugged, staring down at his hands. "I couldn't even start doing something like that by myself and besides, we don't have the necessary equipment." He gestured around the warehouse.

So they can't even disassemble this Dragon for us?

"If Johan says it is impossible for him to do it here then I have to agree with him." the Guild Master said. "However you might be able to get it done at the Adventurers Guild in the Royal capital or maybe the Adventurers Guild of a Dungeon City."

Johan-ojisan nodded. "There are a lot of experts specialising in dismantling in those sortsa places who could do it, I'm sure." So my alternatives are the Royal capital or a Dungeon City? It's impossible for Johan-ojisan or anyone else in this city.

"Sorry Fer but they can't disassemble it here." I explained as I returned the Earth Dragon to my Item Box.

"That's disappointing." Fer grumbled. "But I understand."

"Sorry kiddo." I thought Johan-ojisan would have liked to attempt it but he didn't want to do a bad job being the sort of craftsman he was.

"No no, on the contrary I'm grateful you explained it all to me since I'm no expert." I bowed to him. "I thank you for all your hard work dismantling for me but I think we'll be leaving soon."

Getting the monsters Fer had hunted dismantled properly was why we had stayed in this town for such a long time but Fer had said he wanted to go to the sea, so it was almost time to leave. Once we received the meat from the Wyverns and payment for their materials then we'd take a short break before going travelling again. I wanted to see more of this country after all.

"Uh, are you leaving this city soon?" the Guild Master said, surprised.

"Yeah, we're thinking about going on a trip once we get payment for the materials and the meat from the Wyverns."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that but I understand." the Guild Master replied. "Before you leave could I have a little chat with you to discuss where you're going?"

"Oh, you've got some high-ranking requests that we might be able to carry out for the Guild on the way?" I remembered our previous conversation about such requests if we were travelling around the Kingdom.

"Precisely." the Guild Master said. "Would you consider such requests please?"

"I think that'll be fine but we've not decided precisely where we're going to go yet." A sudden thought struck me. "Oh, would the Guild have a map of this country?"

"Oh, yes we do, it's in my office. If you wish to see it then please accompany me and maybe we can discuss some future requests there as well." As I began to follow the Guild Master to his office Johan-ojisan called me back for a moment. He gestured at the large pile of Wyverns I had left behind for him disassemble.

"Right then sonny, the rest of these Wyverns should take me no time to deal with since you drained the blood out. You can come round the day after tomorrow to pick 'em up."

"I understand. I'll come back again the day after tomorrow. Thanks for all your hard work."

Ch 18 Sakyubasu ni Tensei Shita no de Miruku o Shiborimasu (Because I Reincarnated as a Succubus, I’ll Squeeze Out Milk)

Ch 18 -- The Golden Radiance is Decorated With a Spray of Fresh Blood

~ What has gone before ~
The older sister was very strict with her younger brother.
She was finally persuaded to listen to what happened to us.

* * * * *

"I understand what you two have told me." Sumirena-san said, obviously still annoyed. The mistress of the tavern loomed over us regally while Erim soothed his abused thighs with a cold wet towel and I kept quiet and tried to make myself invisible. I had given Sumirena-san the condensed version of what had happened to us while Erim bravely endured his sister's torture but it had still taken a while to convince her of the truth.

I had proved to her that I was truly a Succubus, undoing my hair dangos to reveal my horns and taking off the cloak Erim had loaned me to expose my wings. I was impressed by her courage when her only reaction to seeing Minoko waiting patiently outside the tavern was to say "My, it's big."

"So Richy-chan." I jumped when she suddenly spoke to me. Richy-CHAN? Somehow calling me 'chan' didn't sound as friendly as it should have... "What has Erim told you about me?"

"A- a bit." I tried to collect my thoughts. "He said you don't discriminate even if someone is a demon...." I said hopefully.

"Well, I rely on my own judgement whether someone is good or not. I'll welcome someone who's a member of the demon race if I think they're a good person but I'd not hesitate to throw out a bad person even if they're one hundred percent human." My initial image of Erim's sister being like the Blessed Virgin Mary overflowing with charity and love disappeared without a trace. This person was a total hothead, I realised.

"If the story you told me is true then I feel sorry for you, Richy-chan and I think it's OK if you stay in my tavern." she went on.

"It is true! It is not a lie! Please believe me!" I protested.

"I didn't say that I don't believe you but I don't trust other people's judgement about strangers. I trust only what I have verified with my own eyes." She looked down at her younger brother. "I am particularly suspicious when someone is exalted and praised excessively by others since they tend to overlook any downsides there might be in their companions. Erim's words about you, Richy-chan, were really over-the-top in that respect hence my suspicions were aroused straight away."

"Sister, Richy-san is a really wonderful woman, she's like an angel." Erim protested. Me, an angel?

"You see?" Sumirena-san said to me. "A pretty girl my little brother met only today and he says she's an angel." She shook her head. "Unbelievable!" I felt sorry sorry for Erim being admonished by Sumirena-san but I had to agree with her. I'd be suspicious too if I was in her shoes. She turned to address me and I quailed.

"So then, you're a Succubus, Richy-chan. To tell you the truth that's what I'm most concerned about." She gazed at me levelly. "Do you know why? "

"Is it because I'm a demon?" I asked nervously.

"Not exactly, rather it's because you're a demon of the Succubus tribe." she said coldly.

"B- but, you said you didn't discriminate about things like that!" I protested.

"Hear me out." Sumirena-san said, holding up a hand to forestall my protests. "A certain someone, retired now but a renowned hero in her youth told me that she once came across a Succubus in her travels. I can't say whether it's totally true or not but that Succubus is said to have enraptured the King of a country and caused its total downfall." She shook her head. "Apparently every young man from one town disappeared overnight because of her." Her voice dropped ominously. "Sucked dry, they say." I shivered. Anyone hearing that story was going to think of Succubi as terrible demons to be feared and attacked on sight. And I was a Succubus. Oh great.

"Looking at you Richy-chan, I don't think you're at that sort of level yet but as a Succubus it might be possible for you to do so in the future since you're fully equipped to do so." Fully equipped? What was she looking at when she said that? "However weak-minded Erim here is a pushover and it would have been easy for you to enchant him with your limited Succubus powers and manipulate him into bringing you here to me."

"I'm not being manipulated by Richy-san!" Erim protested, to no avail.

"Be quiet Erim. Drunkards always say that they aren't drunk." She waved her hand around the tavern, indicating her experience in dealing with drunkards. "You're just the same in this regard."

I had to agree with her, Erim was obviously irrational in my presence for some strange reason and his utterances on my behalf couldn't be trusted. So how could I make her trust me by myself? Sumirena-san went on to answer my question, unfortunately.

"The powers of fascination of a Succubus do not work on women, however." she said with a purposeful glint in her eye. "So I will now examine you myself to determine the truth."

"Can you actually do that?"

"My examination will be a bit rough. Brace yourself." she warned. What was she going to do to me? However, to gain her trust and get her to believe me I'd accept anything, bear any pain. Focussing on that goal, I prepared myself for the ordeal to come and nodded.

"Your eyes are honest and beautiful," she said. "I could come to like them." She smiled and then went to one knee on the floor before me.

"This won't hurt a bit." she reassured me as she gripped the hem on the one-piece dress I was wearing while fixing her gaze at my midriff. "It'll be over in a flash." What? I pushed down on Sumirena-san's hands reflexively as she started to lift my skirt.

"What are you trying to do to me?" I screamed.

"I'm trying to lift up your skirt." she said matter-of-factly. Pardon? She said that in such an off-hand manner I was dumbfounded.

"Ummm, can I ask why you want to do that?" I enquired, madly rational for a moment.

"Pantymancy, it's an infallible indicator of the true essence of a woman." she explained. "Because underwear is normally hidden from view under everyday circumstances then inevitably a woman who is conscious of a man and wishes to entrap him will spice up her choice of underwear appropriately. This is not limited to Succubi, it's true for all living creatures." Saying that Sumirena-san tried to lift up the skirt of the one-piece dress I was wearing. I desperately resisted her attempt to forcibly expose my nether regions.

"W- w- wait, stop it, please stop it!"

"If you want to stay in our tavern, please allow me to do this." Sumirena-san chided. "I'll trust you if your panties are plain and undecorated." Her eyes hardened as she pulled and tugged at my skirt hem. "However, if you are wearing sheer or overly-gaudy panties, well, I'm sorry but I would have to think you've got something planned for poor Erim here and you'll have to leave right now."

"I understand what you're saying but what you're doing is wrong! Stop it please!" I cried, still trying to hold the hem down against her superior force.

"It's looking more and more suspicious if you try to hide it like this!" she said. "No way, are they see-through? Or crotchless!" she gasped.

What is crotchless? I wondered. It didn't sound good. "I'm not wearing anything like that! I'd never wear anything like that!" Whatever they were.

"If you don't wear anything like that then show me!" she raised the hem a little more as I struggled. "I'll allow you a little lace but the panties have to be white. Once I can see them I'll know if you're just being neat and feminine or whether you're truly a Succubus planning to enrage a man's lust with your choice of underwear!"

"Please please please! Think of another way of doing this please!" I begged.

"Why are you being so stubborn about trying to conceal your panties!?" Sumirena-san countered. "I'm not going to rip off your underwear to investigate whether you're a virgin or not. Is it that your panties are so ecchi that you can't show them to anyone?!"

"I'm not wearing any panties! I can't show them to you because I'm not wearing anything under there!" I screamed. Just then the hem of my skirt rose above my knees to the middle of my thighs. It was stupid of me to try and stop her, I couldn't fight off the orc's strength or the lascivious attacks of Erim's companions, Succubi were weak creatures physically and even Sumirena-san's womanly muscles were beyond my capability to resist no matter how much I struggled.

"That's even worse!" Sumirena-san shouted. "Let me see for myself! Let go, come on! Show. Me. Everything!"

"Stop, I told you, Sumirena-san, I'm not wearing anything down theeeeeeere!" I sobbed as she flipped the hem of the dress up to just under my breasts.

-- it resembled the finest golden silk threads glittering and sparkling brightly in the lamplight.

Splat!! A spray of fresh blood bloomed. Erim who had been paralysed watching the battle between me and Sumirena-san had a nosebleed like a manga character seeing something he shouldn't have seen as I tried desperately to hide my nakedness. Erim's nosebleed didn't stop and an ocean of blood spread inexorably across the floor even after my concealing skirt fell back in place.

For a time neither of us were able to move but finally Sumirena-san stopped staring at a certain part of my Succubus anatomy lying just below my navel. Ignoring Erim who was white-faced and unconscious from his nosebleed Sumirena-san knelt on the floor before me and bowed deeply in dogeza, fingertips together and touching her brow to the floor. It looked like the extremely polite welcome a well-bred landlady of a high-class inn might bestow on an honoured guest when they first arrived at her door.

"Welcome, please consider this unworthy establishment as your own home." she said formally.

So it looked like I had found a decent place to stay on the first day of my reincarnation which was lucky of me, I suppose although it didn't really make up for everything I had lost or what I had gone through.

"…………I am much obliged to you." I just managed to reply to her welcome with equal formality. It had been a hell of a day and I was emotionally drained.

Ch 99 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 99 -- Made to Order from Wyvern Skin


I arrived at Lambert-san's shop ready to deliver the goods he had ordered the day before. I presented the boxes and jars containing the soap, shampoo, conditioner and hair wraps to Lambert-san in the store's reception room. As usual Fer and Sui accompanied me but paid no attention to the business being transacted. Fer slept behind my chair in the reception room and Sui was also sleeping but in her bag of course.

"Yes, this is just as I asked for." Lambert-san smiled. "I should have placed this order sooner. We've actually run out of this commodity already." Lambert-san put his hand on one of the crates containing the cheaper soap as he spoke. "As for payment, since it's more than 100 gold coins, may I pay with large gold coins?" he inquired.

I nodded. "Yes, that's fine." I worked it out yesterday, the total price for everything should be 612 gold coins. I'm getting used to getting paid large amounts of money and the shock is wearing off a bit. I didn't even stutter. When I was living and working in Japan I often struggled financially with little money left before payday. I didn't really expect that arriving in a different world would be so profitable... Yup, not scraping for every copper coin is a good thing.

"Well, here are 60 large gold coins and 12 regular gold coins." Lambert-san said, laying the money out on the table before me. "Please check." As usual in this world, the coins were stacked in piles of ten during transactions. It was correct, 60 large gold coins each worth 10 regular gold coins plus another 12 gold coins, 612 gold coins in all.

"Yes, that's correct." I confirmed. Lambert-san said that between Merchants it was customary to use large gold coins involving payments of more than 100 gold coins. It made travelling around to other cities to do business with other Merchants a bit easier, especially if the Merchant didn't have an Item Box. Conversely a single large gold coin was a bit too much for normal day-to-day transactions such as buying food from a stall or paying a city's entry tax. I have a lot of regular gold coins anyway but I also have an Item Box of course. In passing, a white gold coin worth 100 regular gold coins is a coin made from an alloy of Mithril and gold. It's used for trading between countries or sometimes by wealthy Merchants carrying out very large deals.

As Lambert-san arranged for the wooden crates and jars to be taken off to the storeroom I remembered something.

"Oh yes, I have something I want to ask Lambert-san. Can I have a cloak made here?" I inquired.

"Well, of course we also accept commissions for custom made leather goods so there would be no problem." Lambert-san explained. "What kind of leather do you wish to use?"

"Well you see..." I explained to Lambert-san about the Wyverns.

"Oh, Wyvern..." his eyes widened. "I had heard that a flock of Wyverns had appeared near the city and been subjugated but I had no idea Mudouka-san was involved..." No, it wasn't me, it was Fer and Sui who dealt with the Wyverns but I didn't tell Lambert-san that. I pressed on instead.

"So I'd like you to make me a cloak and a belt with Wyvern skin." I requested.

"I have always wanted to work with Wyvern skin some day." Lambert-san said with a faraway on his face. He nodded. "I proudly accept your commission. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for my shop, to work with Wyvern skin." Oh, working with Wyvern skin is uncommon? I had spoken to the Guild Master back at the Adventurers Guild about having a cloak made but he hadn't told me it was going to be difficult. I had gotten the idea it would be easy. Lambert-san went on to explain.

"However, it takes some time to work with Wyvern skin, is that all right with you?"

"How long will it take?" I asked.

"Hmmm," Lambert-san stared at the ceiling, deep in thought for a moment. "It will take about six months..." That long really? Then again Johan-ojisan back at the Adventurers Guild said he would need to use a Mithril knife to dismantle the Wyverns I was selling so maybe tanning the skin and making a cloak and a belt and maybe even some shoes, that would take quite a long time due to the difficulty of working the leather. Well, I wasn't really in a hurry so waiting half a year wouldn't be that problematic.

"You see, even if you are supplying the skin yourself the sorts of craftsmen who can work with such materials are uncommon and of course it will take them a long time to carry out the work. The price, well..." Lambert-san could only give me an estimate of the cost but it was going to be not less than 500 gold coins.

The old me might have swallowed at hearing that price but now I could afford it easily, even after paying 370 gold coins for my bath (MY bath!) two days ago. Getting something made-to-order always cost more than off-the-peg after all. Working with Wyvern skin was a tough job so it was going to cost in terms of time and labour. It couldn't be helped.

"Oh, that price, can I pay it with the leftover Wyvern skin?" Wyverns were big creatures and Lambert-san should be able to make a cloak, belt and shoes from a single Wyvern skin and still have a lot of leather left unused.

"Eh-, are you sure?" Lambert-san said. He paused for a moment in thought. "Wyvern skin is very rarely available on the market so that might be a good deal for me..." He shook his head. "I can't agree immediately, Mukouda-san, I will have to give it some consideration but it is certainly a tempting offer. Let's talk about it later, please?"

The only use I have for Wyvern skins is to sell them for money so if I can trade one skin to pay for the making of the cloak, belt and shoes I want then I don't have a problem with that. It would save me paying for them in cash otherwise.

"Then I would be happy if you would accept this commission, Lambert-san." I said. Lambert-san nodded and I stood up, picking up Sui's bag as Fer came to life behind me.

"Well, I'm going to the Adventurers Guild now. I'll bring the Wyvern skin back here afterwards, so thank you."

"Yes, I will be waiting for you." said Lambert-san as he escorted me to the front door. We left the shop and headed for the Adventurers Guild.

Ch 17 Sakyubasu ni Tensei Shita no de Miruku o Shiborimasu (Because I Reincarnated as a Succubus, I’ll Squeeze Out Milk)

Ch 17 -- Loving Older Sister and Dutiful Younger Brother

~ What has gone before ~
I made friends with a boy and out of nowhere he declared my best friend to be his (love?) rival.


* * * * *

We had stopped in what appeared to be the biggest street in town, with arcades on either side covering stores and shops. The buildings were all made of stone, an unfamiliar sight to a modern-day Japanese person.  It made me feel like I was visiting Kyoto or some other historical place. I suppose if you're creating an RPG then these sorts of stone buildings fit right in.

The day was getting on and there was almost no traffic around, no crowds of people which was good. I rather like night when it's quiet with few people. As a hikikomori even just imagining the crowds of people who would be here in the daytime unnerved me.

The stores in this town were grouped together in districts much like a lot of Japanese cities and this neighbourhood we were in seemed to be for eating and drinking. The place we had stopped outside turned out to be Erim's home, a tavern named "O - pub". It was a single-storey building about 160 square metres in extent, a bit like a family restaurant at home. Thinking that it was operated by just two siblings rather impressed me.

In front of the store was one of those double-flapping doors commonly seen in saloons and the like that appear in Westerns. The light that glowed past the doors wasn't from an oil lamp or candles, it was a bright white colour just like a modern fluorescent or LED lamp. Since there probably wasn't electricity in this world the light was undoubtedly produced by something else.

Although the lights were on there was a sign on the door reading "Closed" written in in something like English cursive -- hold on?

"What's wrong?" Erim asked as I stopped suddenly.

"I can read what's written there," I explained, puzzled. "It says that the shop is closed, doesn't it?" Erim nodded, still not clear why I was confused. I said "cursive" but the letters on the sign weren't actually English, they were ones I'd never seen before but somehow I could understand what they meant.

"Yes it says 'Closed'." Erim agreed, thinking hard. "Being able to read might be a skill of someone reincarnated like yourself. This is the written language that humans use. Can you write it?"

I concentrated hard, imagining myself creating text and..."It's impossible for me to write like that." I finally admitted. "I tried thinking how I'd write the letters of my name but nothing came to mind."

In Japanese even if it was a word like, say, "rose" with complex characters made up of lots of strokes and radicals [薔薇] I could just read it. Selecting letters on a smartphone, it auto-converts to allow me to make the right choice from homonyms. This language though, I couldn't write the letters with pen and paper. It was so odd, being able to read but not to write.

"I'll help you to learn to write as well as read." Erim offered.

"Thank you Erim." I said. "However since I can already read this language it shouldn't be difficult for me to learn to write."

"I hope so, but if it isn't an imposition then when I've got the time I'll help you with it as much as I can."

"I wouldn't want to bother you, Erim." I protested.

"I want to get a start on the battle I face," Erim stated blushingly, "and doing this for you will only help me."

Battle? Are you planning to fight anyone, Erim? Any why does the idea of helping me study make you so happy? Will teaching me a letter give you a power-up somehow? Wouldn't it be better for you to concentrate on bulking up and building muscles? I searched my memory of the previous conversations trying to figure out what I might have said that would cause him to blush but I couldn't find anything. I gave up for the moment.

"Excuse me, cow-san, can you wait outside for a while? I don't think you can go in until I move a lot of chairs and tables." Erim said. Minoko accepted Erim's instruction to wait and meekly squatted down in front of the store entrance. I thanked Minoko for carrying us all this way and stepped down onto the packed earth of the roadway. The cool soil felt good on the soles of my bare feet.

"I'm kinda nervous about the idea of bringing a girl home to introduce them to my family." Erim said, hesitating in front of the door.

"Ah, I see." I was confused at his sudden non-sequitur. "Are you likely to do that any time soon?"

"Please don't say you don't understand." Erim said exasperatedly.

"Well I don't, not really," I said, "but it will be fine. I'll explain everything you did to your sister and how you only had the best of intentions towards me and that will be that, Erim."

"Richy-san, maybe... Are you making fun of me?" Erim asked.

"What?" Where did that come from?

"...She's really got no idea," he muttered to himself under his breath, "Is she truly that naive?" He shrugged. "Okay, let's go in." What Erim just said worried me but I had more immediate problems -- I was finally going to meet with his older sister. For that reason above all I was very nervous.

Erim went first, pushing the swing doors open wide. I snuck in behind him, trying to conceal myself using his not-very-broad back as cover while the doors flapped back and forth in the background. A wood scent assaulted my nostrils when I entered. Unlike the usual painted or plasticky inorganic appearance of modern Japanese shops, the floor, ceiling and walls of this tavern were all boarded over. The decor seemed warmer and more welcoming for that reason.

I peered into the interior of the tavern over Erim's shoulder. A long bar ran the length of the wall on the left side of the single large room, with shelves on the wall behind filled with neatly-arranged bottles of assorted colours. I could see a sink back there too.

"- Oh, welcome back, you're early aren't you?" A lovely clear voice called out from behind the counter where a girl stood polishing a transparent drinking cup. Was she really Erim's older sister? She was beautiful rather than cute. Erim's older sister was 22 years old according to her brother so it may be rude to call a woman of that age a "girl" but if the thirty-something office lady at the Reincarnation Support Division could see her that person would shed tears of blood in jealous envy. I would have guessed she was about the same age as me or Erim if I hadn't been told otherwise. Her hair was a similar shade as Erim's but perhaps a little lighter, carefully dressed in a long plait that fell to her slim waist. Her large expressive eyes were a warm brown colour. I estimated we about the same height, realising I was now probably a bit shorter than originally after my reincarnation as a succubus.

"Richy-san, allow me to introduce my older sister Sumirena to you." Erim said very formally. So this is Sumirena-san? I bobbed my head politely to her, wondering how she would react.

Sumirena-san put the half-polished glass down on the counter and came out around the counter which allowed me to see that she was wearing a long-skirted dress with a white apron. She lifted her skirt at the front and rushed over to us in an apparent panic.

"Erim...You, why..."

Both me and Erim were in bare feet. It might have seemed a trivial fact but not to Sumirena-san. For me I thought their reunion would be like a family drama on teevee back home, a worried sister hugging her brother who had faced up to an terrifying orc out in the dangerous woods, asking him if he was all right, tears of relief glistening in her eyes, that sort of scene. Instead...

"Kneel." - no hugs, no tears, just a word of command in a cold voice. Sumirena-san? Erim instantly knelt in seiza, back straight and feet folded under him as if obeying this sort of command was a regular occurrence in this household.

"Erim, you made me worry, didn't you?" Sumirena-san said with a sorrowful voice. Erim's face, however was stricken with fear.

"Even though I tried to discourage you from entering the forest as much as I could I eventually gave in and I even closed the tavern temporarily because you absolutely insisted on going. And now I found out it was a lie, you weren't going to the forest at all, you were spending your time making out with a girl instead!"

"Ah, S- Sis, please hear me out!" Erim begged.

Sumirena-san touched Erim's forehead with a finger to silence his entreaties before turning to pick up a heavy crate full of bottles from the bar with an "umphh".

"Erim, I understand you're at that age where you're interested in that kind of thing... But if you lie to me and run off to indulge your sexual desires, don't you think that'd I'd be disappointed in you?" she said with a sigh before depositing the crate of bottles onto Erim's knees.

"S- Sis! It's heavy, it hurts!"

"And then you bring this bint-san back here so late? I don't wish to believe it but I can only wonder if you're planning to use our home as a love hotel? Are you going to take her up to your room now?" Sumirena-san glared down at Erim's tear-streaked face before turning to pick up another heavy crate of bottles from the bar. I didn't know what to think as my original vision of Erim's loving sister, Sumirena-san disintegrated before my eyes.

"Let us explain please! This person will tell you that nothing happened between us!" Erim begged. Sumirena-san looked at me curiously but I was frozen and unable to say a word as always. I could never speak up for myself in such situations before I was reincarnated and I still retained my hikikomori fear of dealing with strangers, especially angry ones like Erim's older sister.

"Well ... I suppose I shouldn't scold you before finding out what happened. Sorry." Sumirena-san said in a conciliatory tone but she still held the second heavy crate ready for use and furthermore did nothing about the first crate resting painfully on Erim's knees.

"That's all right, sis. Once you understand what happened..." Erim said but Sumirena-san shook her head.

"I can't believe my little brother's excuses since I'm his big sister and I know him too well but I'll listen to you, bint-san." She hefted the crate in emphasis. "However before I hear your version of events I need to ask Erim a few things."

"I'm all right, sis." Erim said in relief. "I've not been hurt at all, in fact we never even came across the orc we were hunting."

Sumirena-san shook her head in dismissal "No, I do not care if you're hurt unless it hinders your work in the tavern." she said coldly. "I do not care..." she said about her little brother. How unfeeling of her. My view of Sumirena-san's sisterly heart descended another level.

"More importantly, that girl has a really splendid chest." Sumirena-san declared, fixing her gaze on my breasts.  I reflexively held my arms up to obscure them from her accusatory eyes. Unfortunately my new arms were quite thin unlike my substantial breasts and did little to conceal them.

"Well, that's true," Erim agreed.

"I don't care about her chest," Sumirena-san declared insincerely while unable to take her eyes off my breasts, "but have you done anything perverted with that girl?"

"P- perverted, have I done...?" Erim looked away. "Um, no?"

"Oh hoh, you did something, didn't you? Maybe you groped those enormous breasts, oh oh oh you blinked,  yeah, that's what you did. " Sumirena-san said triumphantly. "You play hooky from the tavern forcing me to close up for the evening to run off into the woods with a girl. " Her eyes narrowed, "Just how thoroughly did you massage those gigantic breasts of hers?"

Stupid honest Erim remained silent which only confirmed her accusations. Thump, and a second crate of bottles was stacked on Erim 's knees.

"Sister, ahhh, it's digging into my legs!"

"Well, it's only about twenty kilogrammes which should be nothing for you, Erim." Sumirena-san declared. "You can stand a lot more, can't you? After all you're not making any attempt to remove the crates which tells me you're guilty, doesn't it?"

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to push Richy-san down!" Erim said quickly. Sumirena-san's eyes widened and she turned to me.

"Oh no, I'm sorry.  I didn't realise that my little brother had become a sex criminal behind my back. As his guardian, castration, oops, correction of his deviant personality is required of me." As she spoke she picked up a third crate of bottles from the bar.

"Listen to what I'm saying! Please listen!" Erim begged.

"I'm listening, but I will add another crate every thirty seconds." Sumirena-san said menacingly.

"Well, uh, everything was OK to start with. I joined up with the party of adventurers as planned and we went to the Lububu Forest..." Erim hesitated, thinking,  "and I met up with Richy-san there..." The third crate was deposited on Erim's knees.

"Ummm, onee-san?" I tried to interrupt.

"Richy-san, leave this to me .... Please!" Erim insisted.

"Well, but..."

Erim pressed on. "When Richy-san was about to be attacked in the forest, I wasn't any use, I couldn't defend her, I never regretted my weakness so much when that happened to her... so I promised myself that I'd succeed next time!"

"That's nice but unimportant! Hurry up with the explanation of your perverted actions. Fourth one!" The next crate was deposited on his trembling knees.

He was beaten up by his adventurer companions, punched by me and then tortured by his sister and guardian. It seems to me that Erim had had a very unpleasant day since meeting up with me. By the time we finished explaining everything to Sumirena-san's satisfaction Erim had over a hundred kilograms of beer crates loaded on his knees.

Ch 98 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 98  -- Getting a Big Order


I visited Lambert-san's store the next day as I was interested in how the soap and shampoo and other items were selling.

"Good afternoon, Lambert-san." I said as the store's assistant led me to where he was working.

"Oh, Mukouda-san, good to see you." Lambert-san welcomed me with a broad smile.

"So are the soaps and shampoo selling well?" I enquired, getting right down to business.

"Yes, very well. I originally thought to use the regular shop staff to sell these items but..." As Lambert-san explained, Mary-san's word-of-mouth publicity campaign was highly successful and what's more, the ladies who bought soap and shampoo from her went on to tell all their friends, bringing in more customers.

"As you can see, Mary is personally demonstrating the items which has also boosted sales considerably."

In the corner of the shop  where the soap and shampoo were laid out on display Mary-san was speaking enthusiastically to a lady while getting her to touch her hair. The customer seemed surprised touching Mary's hair, discussing the effects of the shampoo eagerly with Lambert-san's wife.

"Thanks to Mary, sales are excellent. Of course, the goods I bought from Mukouda are of the highest quality."

The best sellers were the cheaper unscented soap and the rinse-in shampoo. It seemed they would be sold out in a little while. The lower price made them an easier sell. The sets of rose scented soap and shampoo and conditioner seemed to be popular among ladies who were more well-off, with nearly two-thirds of them being sold already. Although the hair wraps were particularly expensive, it seems that Mary-san had sold nearly one-third of my original delivery in the same time. I was amazed.

"I'm also surprised at the level of sales." Lambert-san said. "I underestimated the effort women would make in the pursuit of beauty." He shrugged. "Why, some customers bought as many as five high-end scented soaps at one time just because of the smell."

This world is different from mine in many ways but women's obsession with beauty is a universal constant. My older sister is a beauty otaku who says things like "these days guys who don't care about looking good are no good". When I was younger, living with her at my parents' house she would chop and change, experimenting with all sorts of new shampoos and conditioners and face and body lotions as they came on the market. Anything that she abandoned half-empty she pushed on me to try.

"The sales of leather goods in our main business is also doing well, surprisingly." Lambert-san added. The ladies who came to buy soap and shampoo here also saw his leather goods and they'd often buy something if it caught their eye while they were in the store. Ladies bags were a popular item, they seemed to go well with the hair care and soaps Mary-san was selling. The well-dressed men who sometimes accompanied the ladies were also often tempted by some of the store's more regular offerings.

"I didn't expect that the sale of such things would affect the sale of bags the way it did but," Lambert-san smiled, "in this case I'm rather pleased I miscalculated on that score." I wasn't surprised he was smiling, improving the sales of his regular leather goods even by accident was a good thing for him.

"So let's talk business..." I asked about any new orders Lambert-san wanted to place with me. It seems that Lambert-san was now convinced that Mary-san could sell the soaps and shampoos from the first trial order I had provided with little difficulty. We quickly agreed on the next order, the cheapest soap × 600 pieces, rose scented soap × 200 pieces, rinse-in shampoo × 500 bottles, shampoo and conditioner × 200 sets and finally 60 jars of hair wraps. Some of the quantities surprised me a little. He wanted 600 of the cheap soaps?

According to Mary-san, for regular folks who are neither aristocrats nor merchants even the cheapest unscented soap is expensive but she had sold such soaps to people like Merchants Guild staff members and even female Adventurers who were willing to pay for them. It turns out it was a mistake to put the scented soaps in bags, Mary-san explained as the scent attracted the attention of ordinary women visiting the shop. They might not be able to afford the scented soap but the plain soap was often within their means. Lambert-san expected that they would be able to sell even more of the plain soaps in the future.

"Because the order is quite big is it possible for you to fill the bottles here in your store, Lambert-san?" I asked, considering how much work it was going to be to do it all by myself. "I can bring the hair wraps in the glass jars and you can sell them directly."

"Yes, that's fine." said Lambert-san, thinking hard." Also, if someone has already purchased shampoos and the like or the hair wraps, if they bring the containers back we can fill them again here in the store and charge them a little less." I remembered suggesting something like that before and obviously Lambert-san had remembered my comment, not surprising for a master Merchant such as he. Anyway it was a relief that I wouldn't have to fill nearly a thousand bottles by myself.

"Well then, I will bring it all along tomorrow." I would have to hurry and get to work once I got back to the inn as I hadn't been expecting such a large order. I couldn't hand out the refill pouches or packets I bought via the Net Super so I'd have to decant the liquids into some containers I obtained locally. On the way home I stopped off and went searching in a general store where I bought some wooden boxes and a number of large jars before I went back to the inn.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Once I was back I immediately started preparing the order I had received from Lambert-san. I bought a lot of stuff from the Net Super. The order for the cheapest soap is 600 bars, it comes in packs of three bars of soap so I needed to buy 200 packs. It turned out that the maximum number I could order in one transaction on the Net Super was 99 of each item so I ordered 99 packs, another 99 packs and then 2 packs.

The order for rose scented soap was 200 bars. Since each pack contained 3 bars I ordered 67 packs. I could do this in one order since it was less than 99. That made 201 bars, one over the order but I kept the spare for my own use. On to the liquids. The rinse-in shampoo order was for 500 bottles, each refill pouch would fill 3 bottles so I bought 167 pouches in two orders. This was a little more than the order requested but I decided to donate the extra to Lambert-san. The order for shampoo and conditioner were for 200 pairs of bottles. I bought refill pouches again, 67 of each and again I left the extra to Lambert-san. Finally the hair wraps, 30 packs each with 8 wraps. I also bought 60 glass jars to put the hair wraps in. Whew.

I checked the quantities I had ordered, making sure I hadn't missed anything before starting to unpack and decant all the items. The plain soap bars were unwrapped and packed into wooden boxes, then I did the same with the rose-scented soaps into more boxes.

"Wow, I'm tired but I still have to sort out the refills next." I continued with the rinse-in shampoo, pouring the contents of the refill pouches into large jars, each with a lid. I think they were used in this world for fruit wines or preserves, each holding about 8 litres. I poured and poured and poured, eventually filling 13 jars with the rinse-in shampoo. The large jars worked really well for this purpose.

I did the same for the shampoo and conditioner sets, filling yet more large jars from the refill pouches. Finally I got on to the hair wraps, putting 4 hair wraps in each of the glass jars I had bought from the Net Super.

"Yes, finally, finished!" By the time I had finished the sun was beginning to sink low in the sky. Dinner time?

"Aruji, Fer-ojichan is hungry and waiting for you-" Sui announced. Yeah yeah, I took Sui and hurried down to the beast stables behind the inn.

* * * * *

When I got there Fer was grumpy. Well, grumpier than usual.

"Hoi, where were you?"

"Sorry sorry. Please forgive me for being late, I've got a real treat for you tonight." I took out the pot of beef stew from my Item Box. I had prepared it the night before since I had the time to simmer it properly. I had a good feeling the slow-cooked meat was going to taste great. I put out two servings of beef stew on plates for the two gluttons.

"Right. Be careful as it's hot." I warned as I put the plates down for them.

"This is the first time I've seen this. What is it..." Fer inquired suspiciously, then the smell hit him. Darling Sui was already digging in to her helping but Fer wasn't far behind.

"Ooo, this meat's so soft, it's just melting in my mouth." Fer said indistinctly, vacuuming up the stew on his plate.

"It really is." Sui added. "And it tastes delicious too!- "

Beef stew seems to be quite popular with the two gluttons as well.

"Seconds!" they chorused. I dished out even more stew for them while I started eating my own portion along with some French bread I had bought from the Net Super, dunking it in the gravy.

Ooooh, the meat is almost too tender, falling apart in my mouth. And sooo tasty. I wish I had added mushrooms, maybe I'll put some in next time I cook this dish.

I bought French bread because I thought it was better to eat beef stew with a crusty bread, but the Net Super version of French bread is actually quite soft and not crusty at all. I wasn't really surprised since at home I could never get proper crusty French bread anywhere except a specialist bakery. Were there any crusty breads in this world, I wondered. Well, there's that hard black bread, the sort I had eaten when I was travelling with the Iron Will team of Adventurers soon after I arrived in this world. Just eating it by itself as travel rations, it's tough and not very tasty but it might go well with beef stew since it's got a hard crust. I'll buy some black bread locally and keep it for next time, I decided.

"Seconds!" Shouldn't that be thirds? Whatever. I dished out more stew. Fer spotted the French bread I was eating my stew with.

"Nuu, is that something tasty you're eating this with?"

"Well yeah. I like eating beef stew with bread." I confirmed, reaching for the Net Super display. I knew what was coming. Lessee, bread, bread, bread... ah.

"I want to try it then." Fer announced, his previously-immaculate muzzle dripping with gravy. And I just washed you earlier, I sighed.

"Sui also wants to eat-" Yeah yeah. The order, two loaves of French bread arrived. I cut them apart and immersed some of the chunks in beef stew on the two dishes.

"Try some of this, I will add more if you like it."

"Umu-" Fer was muzzle-down in his dish of beef stew before I finished speaking and Sui didn't hesitate either.

"Well, this is really tasty. The bread soaks up the gravy and that makes it delicious." Fer declared as he came up for air.

"It really is." Sui chimed in. "The stew is delicious when you eat it with bread."

Fer and Sui seemed to like eating bread with the beef stew, demanding more "seconds" (fourths, fifths? I lost count) before finally...

"Well, I'm full." Fer said, sitting back at last. "It looks like Sui's full up too."

"Both of us are full up-" Sui agreed.

"Uuuuuurp... I may have eaten a little too much." Fer said deprecatingly, licking his stained muzzle to capture the last of the gravy adhering to it. Yeah, right. I peered into the pot which was now empty of beef stew. It had turned out to be a hit with my two gluttonous companions. I'll have to make more when I have the time to cook it properly. And include mushrooms.

Ch 97 Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Ch 97 -- Washing the Demonic Beast Fer


Next morning it was time to wash Fer. I had purchased dog shampoo, a dog brush and the largest-sized bath towel I could find on the Net Super. There was a great variety of pet food and other pet supplies available for purchase there, not surprising as the number of pet owners is increasing and many of them are willing to pamper their pets regardless of expense. This was handy for me since I could easily buy such things from the Net Super thanks to that. I hesitated looking at the plushy dog toys on offer but I decided if Fer wanted to chew on something there were plenty of S-ranked monsters around in this world.

With Sui safely tucked away in her shoulder bag I went down to where Fer was waiting for us in the inn's beast stables.

"Fer, let's go out of town again. I want to give you a bath like I said yesterday."

"Nu... you're really intending to wash me?" Fer seemed a little hesitant.

"Of course. Could it be you're scared of water?"

"W- well, that's not really true but I don't like to get wet, you see..." Okay, he was very hesitant.

"I'm not planning to drown you, just wash you so it'll be OK, I promise. Let's go." I didn't want to spend all day arguing with him like a toddler.

"Nuuuu, I give in..." I was starting to get a handle on Fer -- he'd agree to do something he found necessary but unpleasant as long as he had made it clear to everyone within earshot that he was doing it reluctantly and under duress. Now that was over with we left the beast stables and headed out of the city to the same remote area we had gone to yesterday for my own bath.

First up I had to brush out Fer's coat. I needed to do this before I washed him, remembering what a dog-owning workmate had told me once. Just washing a dog's matted hair won't clean it properly but if the coat is brushed beforehand the shampoo can get deep between the hairs and do its job. That was the theory, at least. Now to test it.

"Fer, first of all I'm going to brush out your hair to untangle it."

"W- well, okay." He seemed uneasy somehow. Then again it was probably the first time ever in the thousand years he'd been around that anyone had brushed him. I started working on Fer's hair with the dog brush I had bought from the Net Super. It was for large dogs, supposedly but Fer was extra-large so I didn't know quite if it would work. They didn't sell Fenrir brushes unfortunately.

"Ow ow-- Hey, take it a bit easier will ya?" Fer growled. The mighty Fer couldn't deal with a little discomfort? I was amazed.

"Sorry, sorry." I apologised. I brushed his coat more carefully, not pulling too hard at the places where the matted hair clogged the brush and tugged at his skin. It was a lot of hard work since his body was easily as big as a cow.

"Huff- this is working..." Fer's hair mats were starting to unravel as I persisted with the brush. It wasn't easy especially around his belly which had a lot of really thick hair mats but I finally managed to finish brushing him down properly. At the end I had a mountain of loose hair almost as tall as Fer himself... I got rid of this shed hair by digging holes with earth magic and burying it.

After the brushing I prepared to shampoo Fer's coat to clean it properly. First I took my bath out of my Item Box.

"Sui, will you wake up? I want your help for a moment." Hearing my thought Sui crawled out of her bag at once.

"What is it Aruji-?"

"Can you put some water in here please?" I indicated the bath.

"I got it-" Sui filled the bath with water and I added a small Fireball to heat it up. After stirring with my bath paddle I checked the temperature. It was maybe a little bit hot so I asked Sui to add more cold water. Some more stirring and yup, that seemed fine. It would stay at that temperature now thanks to the magical wonderful delightful bath (MY bath!). I scooped up some hot water in a bucket and poured it over Fer.

"Guuuh...." Fer shuddered and tried to back away. It seemed the mighty Fenrir didn't like getting wet after all. I kept on scooping and pouring the hot water over him but it was taking a lot of time as there was a lot of Fer to thoroughly soak down. Fer was getting more and more fidgety as it went on.

"Haven't you finished yet?" he grumbled.

"I'm getting there but wetting all of you down properly is hard work, Fer." I said pouring yet another bucket of hot water over him.

"Can't you use Sui's water magic somehow?" He wanted this over and done with, it was clear.

Oh, is that possible? Sui had Ruka-sama's blessing so she could do all sorts of water-related things and she's a Slime after all...

"Sui, can you suck up the hot water in this bath and spray it over Fer, like it was raining? You don't have to do it too hard." I added, remembering the power of her Water Cutter which had snipped off Wyvern heads like daisies in a meadow.

"Uh, I'll have a go-" Saying that Sui stretched a tentacle into the bath and sucked up hot water while stretching another tentacle from the other side of her body. Hot water spouted from that end like a hose.

"Uh, something like this?" The tip of her tentacle spread out and hot water came out like a shower from the end.

"Yes, great. As expected Sui can do it."

"Uhufufu. Sui is great-?"

"Yes, Sui is great. Can you keep doing this until I finish washing Fer?"

"Yeah, easy-" Sui confirmed. With the help of Sui's shower I got Fer's giant body thoroughly soaked. Time for the shampoo. I planned to use a shampoo for dogs I bought yesterday. Actually it was a shampoo suitable for both dogs and cats, according to the label. I chose it based on a report from a veterinarian who recommends various pet care products on the Net Super. He wrote that it is optimal for maintaining the health of the pet's skin and it can be used for puppies and kittens because it is mild. I didn't tell Fer this, of course. It had a conditioning feature like a rinse-in shampoo and the label said that after washing the hair would be soft and well-nourished. It was a bit expensive but I bought it because it promised to be good.

Following the instructions on the label I worked the shampoo into Fer's coat, starting from the neck down to his shoulders and then along his back and then back up to the neck again, against the lie of the hairs to get shampoo all the way down to his skin. I did it gently, the label said this would relax the dog being washed and encourage it to cooperate, at least that was the theory.

I added more shampoo and kept working away. "Fer, is this itchy or stinging?"

"Umu, it's OK. You can put in a bit more effort if you'd like."

Oh, I see. Fer wanted me to treat him like a dog. Right then... I washed harder, rubbing at his coat vigorously as Fer obviously wanted me to.

"Oooooh, yes, there, there... and there." I kept rubbing hard at the places Fer indicated.

"Ooooh, that's soooo nice..." Fer, didn't you say you didn't like getting wet earlier? Back, sides, belly, feet, I finally finished washing all of his body with the shampoo. Massaging the shampoo deep into his coat seemed to have mellowed him out. All that was left to wash now was his head. I wasn't sure about putting shampoo on there, I know I didn't like getting such stuff in my eyes myself so I figured I'd just use plain hot water.

"Hey, Fer, it's time to wash your face, can I spray hot water there?"

"O-, on my face? Nuhhh... Well, I can stand it. Do it quick-." Fer said, bravely closing his eyes. Fer really wasn't keen on his face getting wet, a legendary Demonic Beast that one-hitted high-ranking monsters bang! bang! was afraid of a little hot water. I mustn't laugh, I mustn't laugh... I let out a stifled laugh anyway.

"Nuuh, did you laugh at me just now?" Fer looked round at me suspiciously.

"I- I didn't laugh." I denied, trying desperately to keep a straight face. Change the subject quick. "Sui, can you spray some more hot water for me?"

"Yeah-" Sui started pumping more water from the bath. I directed the spray onto Fer's face.

"Gnuuuh-" he whined, flinching away as the gentle spray touched his face.

"Fer, hold still so I can wash your face." I chided. "Be brave."

"Guuuh-" the whining continued but courageous Fer held his head still as commanded while I thoroughly wetted his face. Finally that part was done.

"I'll rinse off the shampoo next." I said, taking the tip of Sui's tentacle and spraying fresh hot water over Fer's body, rinsing it thoroughly and leaving no bubbles. Fer's wet coat was now gleaming, clean and smooth.

"Yes, that's very good." I said, standing back to admire my work.

"Fuu-" Fer seemed glad I had stopped spraying him.

"And that's it, you're done, back washed and all." I announced.

"Huh, is it really all over?"

"I now just need to dry you off with a towel... waah, stand still-" I had picked up the extra-large bath towel just as Fer shook his body vigorously, just like a dog shaking off water after a bath.

"Uh, Fer?" I was drenched in the resulting spray.

"What? Oh, sorry." Fer said insincerely.

"You're not sorry at all, are you?" I looked down at my soaked body. "I'm completely doused thanks to you." I spat out some water that had gone in my mouth. It was my own fault though, I should have realised he would do something like that. Sometimes I forgot Fer was just a big dog, sort of. I spat again, some of Fer's loose hair from the grooming had been shaken off with the rinse water and got into my mouth. Uck. I had intended to wash Fer but I ended up getting a shower myself. Haa~.

Speaking of Fer, after shaking off most of the water he created a warm breeze and finished drying off his coat. It seemed that with Ninril-sama's blessing he could do all sorts of things with wind magic, not just use it to destroy enemies.

Fer definitely wasn't keen on getting wet but he seemed happy with the final results of his bath, saying "wow" as he looked over his clean body. His glossy smooth coat now gleamed marvelously like silver. Of course it would need to be kept that way.

"I'll need to wash you like this at least once or better still twice a month from now on, Fer." I announced.

"What? Hey, aren't you finished with all this now?" Fer grumbled but still unable to take his eyes off his clean coat.

"What are you saying? It's bad for your skin to remain dirty." I scolded him. "Besides the way you're looking at your coat, you're quite happy for it to be that way, aren't you? Well you'll have to wash it regularly to keep it looking like that."

"Well, no, I'm not really..." He was conflicted. Getting wet, nope, being clean and shiny, yep. Come on Fer, admit it...

"You look great now and you know it, a true Fenrir with a smooth silvery coat. You don't want to go back to being a scruffy-looking Fenrir, do you Fer? That's such a depressing sight."

"Well, a dirty Fenrir... Grummm-" Fer was still not sure but he was teetering...

"Well, you can only keep your coat looking like that if you wash it regularly. Don't worry, I'll help you do it properly." I played my trump card. "Hey Sui, how do you think Fer-ojichan looks right now?"

"Nnnn, Fer-ojichan's coat is beautiful and fluffy!" Sui bounced around happily.

"See, even Sui-chan agrees with me." Take that, Fer.

"Muu, it can't be helped then, I'll wash my coat, once or twice a month." Fer looked up. "But that's all. No more than that!" he declared. Yeah yeah Fer, lay down the law, tell us how it's going to be. I didn't care, it meant I wouldn't be climbing on the back of a dirt-covered Fer any more when we travelled. A thorough washing once or twice a month would be enough.